Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series

by L. A. Johnson

  He crossed the room to dim the lights. Then he went back to his seat, tapped his phone, and looked up. An image of a logo appeared on the screen, along with cheesy trumpet music.

  Soda stared at the logo. It appeared to be interlocking letters so stylized and confused in their color scheme that she couldn't even make them out. "Hey, stringy hair," she said, "what is that logo? I've never seen it before. I mean, is it purposefully indecipherable?"

  He held a hand up to stop her. "Please hold all questions until the end of the presentation."

  Rude, Soda thought. She turned back to the presentation. The logo and cheesy music were soon replaced with images of confident, menacing beings wearing shirts with the odd logo negotiating with happy, willing ambassadors. There were scenes of fine dining in conference rooms such as the one they were in now and camera shots of literal truck-loads of money being delivered to the ambassadors' houses. Holiday cards were exchanged, and annual parties were held between conquerors and conquered. Complete with cheering crowds. In Soda's opinion, he was laying it on a bit too thick.

  "Hey Kruxx," Soda taunted, "I guess subtlety isn't your thing."

  He shushed her and pointed to the screen. "Pay attention or you're going to miss the good part," he said in between bites of food.

  Then the music changed and became more suspenseful. An evil looking creature slapped a guy wearing the intricate logo. The guy cried crocodile tears, supposedly because of the betrayal of the ambassador not accepting his offer, or maybe because of what happened next. Hideous creatures flew in from the skies and started attacking people, buildings, cars, everything. There was a closeup shot of one of the creatures ripping open a car with its jaws, and another shot of one tearing a building open with its claws to get to the people inside.

  Then the presentation turned full bore low budget horror movie. Instead of cars and buildings, the creatures attacked people. The screaming and bleeding lasted at least ten minutes.

  As soon as it was over Kruxx jumped up, turned the lights back on, and returned to his seat to take another bite out of his spider steak. "So? What did you guys think?" he asked gleefully.

  The rest of them sat there. Soda looked around the room. Floyd's brow was furrowed in concern, Ray looked like he was trying to keep what little of his lunch he had gotten to eat down where it belonged, and Froggy was fully engaged for the first time all day.

  "Hey," Froggy said, "can I have the name of the production company that shot that footage for you? I have some ideas of my own."

  "Oh, that wasn't a production company," Kruxx said. He finished his last bite of steak. "That's actual footage. Those particular scenes are from the Absinthe forty-five galaxy last spring."

  "No shit," Froggy said.

  "He's lying," Floyd chimed in. "There's no way that footage was real."

  Soda's gaze finally made it all the way to Ari, who's face had drained of all color.

  Ari cleared her throat. "It doesn't matter," she said. "I can't let that, what we just watched, happen to any of you. Not when I can save you. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t belong here."

  Kruxx pointed to Ari. "See how easy this is? Ari's right of course. Don’t worry, everybody freaks out at the blood and the gore at first, but then they remember the money. There's money in this, lots and lots of money. And power too, for every single person here at the table. You are the guys who can make this happen. You get to save the lives of every person living in this galaxy and get even more rich and famous doing it." He grinned at them. "You're never going to get that kind of opportunity from anybody else."

  Soda made eye contact with Ari. “Now is not the time for an identity crisis, Ari. There are at least a handful of people in this room who care if you live or die. What more do you need? Trust me, I’ve been to a million galaxies where I truly didn’t belong, but this is the first one that feels like home. And it’s because there are a few people who care about me. Because I’m awesome. I mean, what if you’re here at exactly this time and place for a reason? Who’s to say that you’re not just what this galaxy needs? Did you ever think of that? Plus, you’re a candidate for Overlord and have a cool face tattoo. If that’s not enough to convince you that you belong here, then I don’t know what is.”

  “Boring,” Kruxx said and made a retching gesture. “Are you two through?” He tapped another button on his phone and then got up and crossed the room to where the printer made a tiny beep. "A-ha, here it is. The contract. All you guys have to do is sign it and everything will be fine. Right back to normal. All life on this galaxy will be spared extinction. Of course, there's the little detail about us leaving our own Overlord in place and you guys being rich and powerful underlings. But the normal people out there?" He pointed toward the window, where even more of the chess pieces were gathering. "The civilians will never even care. And isn't that what really matters?"

  "You just hang on one minute," Soda told him. "We would only be technically saving, and she held up tentacled finger quotes at the word “saving,” the lives of the people in this galaxy because you’re threatening them. If you weren't here, then we wouldn't have to save anybody. And what was that logo, anyway? Who exactly are you representing?"

  "Ah," Kruxx said, "an intelligent question. To be honest, that's more than I expected out of you people. And I'd love to answer it. In fact, it's my favorite subject. Retrograde. Antelopes. Underneath."

  Soda watched Kruxx's pupils dilate and then contract several times as he forced out the last couple of words with great effort. Then his face stiffened for a moment and his head lurched forward onto his now empty plate. A second later, he was snoring.

  "What just happened?" Ari asked. "Have we really been invaded by retrograde antelopes?"

  "No," Soda answered, "I had Eduardo drug the steak. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't believe a word he says."

  "I don't know," Froggy said, "his presentation was top notch and Ari said she was willing to go, so what's the problem?"

  They all turned to glare at Froggy, who shrugged. "What?"

  "This guy is an idiot invader trying to intimidate you into surrendering control of the entire galaxy, and you're okay with that?"

  Froggy frowned. "I don't understand, it didn't sound like we had much of a choice."

  They continued to argue despite the fact that Kruxx was still lying face down on the table.

  It dawned on Ari what Soda had done in drugging Kruxx. She jumped up and grabbed Kruxx’s phone. "I never thought I'd say this, Soda, but you're a genius! How long will he be out for?"

  "Half an hour, give or take," Soda said, grabbing her own phone and dialing. "Hey, Drexyl, get in here, we don't have much time."

  "This thing isn't even locked, he really doesn't think much of us," Ari said about Kruxx's phone. "Oh. My. God."

  "What?" Ray asked. He had crossed the room to stand next to her, not having been able to continue eating his food. "What does it say?"

  "It's all right here on his phone. Every text he and his boss have sent back and forth since right before Vega. Wait a minute, this doesn't make any sense."

  "Spit it out, Ari, you do realize that we're on a deadline here and that your ass is on the line," Soda said.

  "The contract. It has nothing to do with saving anybody. It was never about that. According to these texts, his mission is to get us to sign the contract that allows for the "legal removal of exotic species." You guys are all dead with or without the contract. Oh, and Soda? Thanks for the things you said a few minutes ago. It meant a lot to me."

  Soda pointed a tentacle at her. “Don’t go all mushy on me, I was just stalling for time.”

  The door opened and Drexyl came in. "What did I miss?"

  46

  "You mean there's no money?" Froggy asked, his upper lip trembling. "Kruxx was very clear on the money part."

  Soda whirled on him. "Try to keep up, Froggy. Oh, and just in case you survive the day, I'll give you a piece of advice. In the future, if it ever comes up a
gain, invaders never, ever come in peace, they never come bearing gifts, and they're never telling the truth. Didn't you learn anything in my Vlog?"

  "Wait a minute," Floyd said. "You're saying that this whole thing is about you?" he asked, pointing at Ari. "They're here for you and they'll kill all of us? Why? Let me see that phone." He crossed to Ari and she handed it over. "I know that I've seen that logo somewhere before. Give me a minute. Okay, here it is. A stylized H, G, R, and Z interlocked and making out together." He looked up and sneered. "This is my Uncle Zytok's corporation."

  "What the hell? Why are your relatives invading this galaxy, Floyd?"

  "Money and power, obviously," Floyd answered. "But mostly to make me look bad. I was this close to total victory and they want to come in and snatch it away." He gave the phone back to Ari.

  Soda laughed. "You weren't nearly as close as you thought, Floyd."

  "I could have taken all of you out if it weren't for this stupid invasion that made my Oracle dice go all wonky," Ray chimed in.

  "Yes, yes, you were all doing great," Ari added, "but listen to this, guys. Floyd's Uncle's company is only a front. Looking back in the message history, they've been taking over galaxies for over a year. One after the next, in order. But this galaxy is the one they've been after all along." She looked up toward the console screen that had been used moments earlier for the presentation. "I'm going to map out these galaxies on a map and send it to the screen."

  A beautiful visualization appeared with hundreds of galaxies. In the center of the galaxies on the screen was a line pointed at Arcturis. And where the marked galaxies leading to Arcturis were, there were nothing but small periods noting what those particular galaxies used to be. The rest of the surrounding galaxies were all intact.

  "Looks like he wasn't lying about the path of death and destruction."

  "And it looks like it was carried out by H.G.R.Z," Ari continued. "But there's more, they're doing it for another party, a shadow corporation or entity called Hitherwhere. Anybody ever heard of that?"

  "Only in ghost stories," Soda said. "What happens to you, Ari, if we don't sign the contract?"

  Ari went back to reading Kruxx's phone.

  "What's the plan?" Drexyl asked cheerfully.

  "We don't have one," Soda said. "We wouldn't have even got a chance to catch our breath if it wasn't for Eduardo and our secret codeword."

  "Just how many visiting ambassadors have you drugged, Soda?" Ray asked.

  "That's not a very important question right now. Try to focus, Ray. Or even better, why don't you help us out and roll your dice or something. Some Oracle, you've been utterly useless so far except to inexplicably drop in and keep me from killing Froggy."

  Ari rose from her chair and read out loud from a document she found on Kruxx's phone. “It says here that according to my personality profile, if the contract is signed, then they believe that I'll go willingly to their company headquarters and then into a secret holding cell. If for any reason anything goes wrong, then I am to be killed." She wobbled and sat down. "If anything goes wrong and I don't leave, the second wave takes out Arcturis, and the third wave takes out an additional thirty galaxies. "Why? None of this makes any sense."

  "Wait," Soda said. "If you leave quietly they only destroy Arcturis, but if you resist, they wipe out half of this solar system?" She mulled it over. "If I didn't know any better, Ari. I'd say that these people are afraid of you. And if they're afraid of you-"

  Drexyl jumped in. "Then the last thing we should do is give her to them. It's what they want. Ari why are they afraid of you?"

  "I wish I knew," she answered.

  Kruxx moaned and stirred. Ari put his phone back in front of him. Thirty seconds later, he started to wake up. "Cantaloupe," he said. Then he blinked a few times and looked around. "I'm sorry, where was I?"

  Soda tutted. "Antelope, cantaloupe. You were rambling on and on nonsensically about making us sign a contract."

  He perked up at the mention of the contract. "Oh yeah, if you guys could just put your signatures on that thing, then me and Ari can be on our way."

  There was a rattling sound in the back of the room.

  Soda turned to see Ray's dice hit the floor. "Hey, I thought those dice only worked with a casino Halo machine."

  "Well, sure, under normal circumstances I prefer to do it with some style, but these are not normal circumstances. WOW!" He shouted. "We should absolutely not sign that contract."

  Soda turned from Ray to Kruxx and watched his face crawl into a slow burn.

  "I think you should think about this more carefully before you make hasty and wrong decisions," he said, glaring. "You shouldn't bet the lives of trillions of beings on a roll of the dice. Plus, you're only one of four candidates, you're still outnumbered in the vote."

  "One of five," Ari corrected.

  "You don't get a vote, you're the tribute," Kruxx said. "You're the one they're voting about. Seems like an awful conflict of interest to me."

  "Again," Soda interrupted. "You, Kruxx, started all of this. There's an Intergalactic saying of don't start something, won't be something, and you started it. As annoying as Ari is, she is an official Overlord candidate and I say she gets a vote."

  "Okay," Kruxx said, holding his hands up. "I guess she could be the tie-breaker if needed but let me remind you of everything that's riding on this vote. You guys want me to show you the presentation again? Because I will."

  "I vote no," Soda said flatly, slapping a tentacle on the table.

  Kruxx was clearly rattled now. "Why would you do that?" He looked from Ray to Soda and frowned. "Either of you?"

  "Because," Ray said, "my dice have been hiding things from me for weeks now. Running me in circles, causing nothing but trouble for me and my chances of being Overlord. Telling me that if I'm not careful, then there won't be a galaxy to run in the first place. But now, just this second, the dice are finally crystal clear. Ari stays, or everything goes all to hell." He looked up at her. “It looks like we need you, Ari.”

  Kruxx stood up. "You people have all of this backwards. I'm telling you. Ari? You're the boring, practical one. Tell them what they need to do, for the greater good."

  "I vote her off the island," Froggy said.

  Soda laughed. "You've got to be joking, Froggy. You still think there's money in it?"

  Kruxx liked the new turn of events. "Of course there's money in it for you. I promised you money, and I mean to deliver." He held up his hand in a scout-style salute.

  Floyd stood up. "Ari stays."

  "You've gotta be kidding me," Kruxx said. "You are, aren't you?" He slapped his knee. "You guys are pranking me right now. You got me, where's the camera? Just tell me when you're ready to take the real vote."

  "You're right," Froggy said. "I was pranking you. I vote for her to stay too. That makes it unanimous. Five to zero. Long live Arcturis. You see, we'd rather one of us get the job than just hand the whole thing over to a douche like you."

  "Are you people serious right now? Why are you doing this?"

  "Because you lost consciousness, idiot," Ari said. "We went through your phone. We know the truth. About the fact that you are planning on toasting the galaxy whether I go with you or not, and that you need us to sign that contract or things get difficult for you."

  Kruxx took a deep breath and sighed. "Difficult, yes. Impossible, no. I was hoping not to have to do this." He snapped his finger and Ari went into her captive mute state again. She immediately started to struggle. He tapped a button on his phone. Within seconds, more chess piece monsters entered the room.

  "Kill them," Kruxx said to the chess pieces, "kill them all." He turned to Ari. "Except this one. She's still coming with us. And you get to watch the whole thing, Ari. I'm going to let you watch your friends get beat to death. And then I'm going to let you watch your galaxy burn." He shook his head. "You guys are stone cold. I've never seen anything like it. You call yourselves leaders and yet you make a selfish decision like th
is. And with my perfect record on the line."

  Soda jumped up to avoid a swinging fist from a chess piece that smelled like elephant ass. She started to back up. "You were going to kill us all anyway! Stop acting like we had a choice."

  "And you’re snoops as well," he replied. "I can't wait for you people to be dead."

  Soda was concentrating on not getting squashed by the smelly creature in front of her when she accidentally backed into a swinging fist that threw her across the room and into a wall.

  Soda slid down the wall slowly, looking around in a daze. Time slowed down. She was out of harm's way for the moment. Floyd had changed into Mantix and was holding his own for now. Froggy was backed into a corner dodging blows and pulling out a new remote. He was probably summoning the robot, which was a very good idea indeed.

  Ray scooped up his dice and put them in his pocket. Then he pulled weapons out of his robe and started firing at the chess pieces. It wasn't doing much good against them, but the noise and sparks they were giving off were spectacular. Kirian had engaged two of the creatures and was again getting her ass kicked. Drexyl was faring the same but was fighting side by side with her.

  The chess pieces were physically formidable enough on their own, but they also must have had the same force field as Kruxx. Soda squinted and was almost certain that she could see a blue sheen on all of them which gave the whole battle a video game feel. The blue evil creatures versus the regular creatures, regular of course being a certain point of view.

  She made the briefest of eye contact with Ari. The two of them had gone through a lot together, and the fear and sadness in her face made Soda wish that there was more that could be done to fix the current situation. It was too bad it had to turn out this way, for all of them. Soda could teleport away, of course. It would only be delaying the inevitable though, as she knew what was coming. More chess pieces entered the room and they were zeroing in on her. The moment of peace and quiet was over.