“Only the titanium one and the gold one is free sir” I asked him to tell me more about this gold one.
“Hold on a minute” D.B. interrupted “this gold one is useless, just gives you some points” “take this one, titanium one, one of my friend is using it too, it gives you 5% discounts on utilities and bill payment” “You can save on mobile bill or broadband or-“
“But my mobile bill is hardly two hundred bucks” I said.
”then it will save you” he calculate for a long minute and replied ”twenty rupees”
“Ten rupees” replied Arnav.
“Ten rupees yes” replied D.B..
“That’s not much” I said, the duo eyeballed me, I knew was just pretending ten rupees meant a lot to an underpaid engineer.
“Then perhaps you should start spending more on your mobile bill”, the IIM guy suggested. I pondered for a moment it made perfect sense to me, spend extra to save more; I guess that’s how consumeristic world works today. He asked to sign at couple of places in the form and it was done, I had applied succefully for the titanium card.
Our lady PM stared at me when I passed her, I settled on desk and asked her what she had in her lunch, “Biryani” she replied, which was clearly a lie, I saw her eating fruit salad. I wondered if it was for some reason, maybe she was looking or her parent’s were looking for her. We were just chit chatting when the lady PM barged in, she demanded to see the task that I was allocated, I sweated, my toungue was frozen inside my mouth, I had not even begun, and so it was time to throw some bullshit,
“I had been reading the documentation” And I showed her an excel that D.B. had sent to me, it was like a doc that captured the flow and raised a few questions.
And then threw some technical jargons, like workflow, and factory patter and stuff, and told her quickly my plan how I see how was I thinking to implement it, I asked her if this was the correct approached, I know that was a googly, she had no idea what I was talking about,
“It’s good, it’s good, I think” She replied. She was impressed but she was little irritated as I was doing a good work, ‘carry on’ she said and ran away.
#
In the evening I found Anushree sitting on the couch, surfing, I made her a nice cold coffee (I actually brought it from Durga), she thanked me, I waited for her to take a sip, and she was like wow wow! You made a really good coffee, it tastes just like durga. “Oh! Come on” I replied. “It can’t be”
“Of-course, it can’t be” she replied, “it’s better than that”
I asked where was Surekha I had one cup for her as well.
“Oh she would be late” “She is in delivery phase”
“Delivery!” I exclaimed. “Yeah, her manager is really pushy”
“I’ll just keep that in the freezer” I replied.
I saw some unfamiliar shoes on the stand, there was hardly any space there, whose shoes is this I protested, I had no place to keep mine, and it was supposedly ‘my spot’.
“You noticed,” she said bubbli-ly. “I just brought them today” She started giving me description and details that I was least interested in, to me it was just boots alright, too her it was like, you know, like everything.
“What the hell” I said to myself, I certainly had asked the wrong question.
She then told me, it was her first online shopping and told me about this site where she bought it from.
I was talking too Arnav over morning tea (11 o’clock strictly) at twelve, I was basically making a sales pitch to him, I was telling him that to subscribe to a stock-ideas website, I told him it had impressive track record, all of it’s bet have been a multibagger so far, our icicidirect accounts were lying dormant anyway, so why not make money. He responded, and responded harshly,
“You know what the problem is with you, you see everything with an eyeglass of money” “Don’t measure everything with money, you’ll regret one day, and yeah I’m not gonna pay to some damn website, who only talks about it’s achievements, I am sure it had failed bets as well” It made sense what he said, the last part at least.
I told her shoe-world.com was a shitty site, my friend buys from red-onion all the time, they give you free delivery as well if you buy three pairs. She broke away immediately, although I was still speaking going all praises, she was on ie, on the website already, looking at it with an incredulous eye, like a baby who just spotted a new toy, “so many variety” were the only words she said before going into a shopping limbo.
#
I did not tell you about the other guy in the cubicle, it’s not my fault he did not talk to me much beyond a formal hello, but it’s important now that I mention him, so this guy had sony ericson phone and you know what’s best about this phone, it has damn good speakers, and this guy is a big fan of rafi, and plays rafi all the time particularly when right after he comes back from lunch, but at that day he was playing a different tune, it was something like this -
“We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby”
I checked the video on youtube (using a proxy given by a trainee friend, how do these trainees come with such neat tricks is still a big mystery to me), a twenty something lad with thick sideburns and wearing a black shirt and white trousers walked by on an empty streets, while a ’49 peugot stood in the background. He bumped into a girl, talking, laughing. I was just glued to seat, my mind took a nose dive in the pool of memories, I reminisced about the days.
We would wander aimlessly on the empty streets of Mysore, jump bursting the empty cans of colas, throwing stones at random windows, and then stepping aside hiding away in a secluded corner.
What the hell, I shook myself, what the hell was I doing, and what was I supposed to do, it was like a massive of self realization that hit me, and I was overturned with my surfing board. What I felt was like seizure or something, my whole body shook and waved, the clouds of opaque dust that were blinding me started to thin out, a new consciousness started to appear.
I called up Arnav and told him that I had to find Ishika, if he could help me. I formulated a plan, basically the idea was – ‘chance’, go to phase 2 for lunch, if I could bump into her. From that day Arnav and I went to Ph-2 for lunch together, we would catch the 12:30 shuttle, which would drop at the big bus stand in-campus, we would take a walk and then… there was a problem – there were like three cafeterias there – for few days we used the strategy to go to a random café, but that was not working, it was inefficient nevertheless, so we divided ourselves, Arnav was bit hesitant but I was really firm, we started going to two different cafes to eat, that increased our statistical probability to 66.67%. I would often stare at the wall or look down or just get mad frowning upon my idiocracies, sometimes some stranger would come by and sit next to me with his plate – silent and fiddling with his own self, or other times a group would come merrily chattering eating from each other, and I would raise my neck or in between stand and look around for a sign, a sign of her. I could feel a fragnance in the air - her fragnance, I could hear the shrill of her voice in the distance, her unrepressed laughter, I could see a mirage that looked like her but disappeared as I tried to touch.
We we waiting for the 01:30 bus when he told me that he broke the news, “I saw her” He said excitedly, I must have been excited and happy too I know, but I felt nervous, “What?” He asked. I just shook myself, and questioned him, “Tell me about it” At the Cafeteria, she was with someone, they were about to leave when I just arrived, I was looking for the table when I spotted her. “Then?” I asked.
I put down my plate, and followed her. “You followed her?” That sounded creepy. “I mean I wanted to talk, but she’d just keep on going so fast, and there was this guy as well”
“What then?”
“She sits in Beta-5”
“The new building?”
“Yes,” “sixth floor” He replied.
I started thinking whether I should immediatel
y go to her place, I had waited for this moment for long, or should I come back tomorrow? I decided on tomorrow, I was good in procrastinating.
#
For next couple of days, I couldn’t go to phase-2 at all, the workload was too much, I think the PA thought I was slacking, so he gave me extra work so that I stick to my seat the whole day.
One fine morning, I had forgotten about it altogether, I got a call that my card request has went on hold, why I asked? It was because, of the some problem in verification process. What problem? The phone got disconnected, “Damn it skytel, no signal” I said in exasperation.
Just after five minutes I got one more call, this one was on deskphone, Why? “Why? What?” The voice on the other end asked. “I was completely astonished for the moment,” “Ishika?” I quizzed. “You were expecting someone else?” She asked. “No, I mean, no” I blabbered. She laughed. “Listen I am coming to ph-1 in half an hour” “See you there?”
“Yes, come to twelve” I replied.
She was wearing a grey creased trousers that clung narrowly to her legs, and a sleeveless pale yellow shirt, a pearl white necklace underneath it, she looked like she was queen of somewhere. I waited for her on the side of the road, she looked happy to see me. “Look at you” These were the first words I heard from her, “you are all grown up”
I smiled and replied, “Shut up” I realized I had added few extra pounds since Mysore days, but it was not that bad.
We went to three instead of twelve as it was closer, we were having brunch, when I got a call from some landline no, the girl at the other end said something really horrible, it made my face wilt. What happened Ishika asked, “Nothing, its just some stupid thing”
“You look worried”
I was, I didn’t earn enough (just like the people of my clan) to keep up with my expenditures, my balance sheet always showed a big deficit in it. “Its important I’ve to take it” I said and walked out. I moved around the pathway back and forth, nervously I talked to the excectuive, she told me after a lot of convincing that, the information that I mentioned and the data they observed didn’t match. “What data, what information are you talking about?” My head spun, I was reacting as if it was not just a credit card but something like a return ticket to mars or an IIM call or some million dollar shares transaction.
“Your wife said -” She began,
“Wife?” ”What are you talking about?”
“You mentioned in the form that you were single, but you had a wife”
“What?” “What is this?” I repeated, in shock. “I am not married”
“But Sir, we talked to your wife Mrs. Anushree… -“ She continued.
“Anushree ???” I was puzzled.
“Anushree? Who’s that?” Ishika questioned.
“Sorry sir, but we can’t we can’t process your application”
“To hell with the application” By now Ishika was standing beside me her eyes demanding explanation. “What’s going on here?” “Why are you keep saying you are not married?”
“Nothing important” I replied. “It’s just some crazy guy”
“Anyway, it’s time for my exam”
I put down the phone and ran after her, she was walking swiftly on the cobble stones pathway.
“You know,” “I” “I can’t figure you out”
I followed her all the way to the hall where she was writing her PR-201 exam, I asked the invigilator if I could sit as well, he stared at me confused, and handed me a list. “Oh! No, no” I said to him I did not register for it.” I was looking at Ishika, seat next to her was empty. “I was just passing by here and strongly felt that –“
“What do you think, is this some kind of circus?”
I decided to wait outside to finish her up, but I must have taken a trip to the bathroom or gone for the coffee, when I came back her seat was empty. She was gone like a whiff in the wind.
#
Anushree was not there when I arrived, but Surekha came in soon after. I was sitting on the sofa, I was going absolute crazy – on one hand it was Ishika driving me nuts and on the other hand the weird behavior of Anushree freaking me out. Why did she say I was married to her?
I told Suerkha what happened, she was quiet for sometime and then spoke, “I think she loves you -” “Quite a lot” She spoke calmly.
I wondered if this all was some kind of practical joke, I always thought they were nuts but this was getting out of hand very fast.
“There’s nothing you can do about it” “If somebody loves you, then that’s that” I looked at her unbelievingly, was it the same person I just talked to in the morning?
“But of course, there’s one thing that you can do-“
“What?” I enquired wondering if we could amicably lead to some solution.
“To love her back” She said with a straight face. To love her back, how easily she said it, without realzing true meaning behind the words. To love someone perhaps is the easiest thing that you can do, to love someone in return is perhaps the most difficult thing to achieve. How can you love someone unequivocally? I wondered about the great love of the centuries, was it all just imaginative stories fed to us by the profiteering media wishing to sell cards and music and cinema?
Anushree came in around six in the evening, she looked at me beamingly and said, “Kya baat, you are early today?” “Anything special?” She added.
“Yes…“ “Darling” I replied. “Thought to take you for the dinner”
“You angry with me?” She asked innocently as if nothing had happened.
“How could I with my dear wife?” I said in a tone sharp and acerbic. She went by me, and closed the door shut behind her. Surekha got up ready to follow her in, but I held her by her wrist and pulled her back on the couch, “Don’t go after her” “She’d be fine”
She looked at me and then picked up the tv remote from the table and switched on, there was some news about missing cows in Texas, she changed the channel to home-shoppe - they were featuring night dresses today. Half an hour went by but there was no sound from inside, Surekha, tapped and then banged at the door. But there was no response, I prepared myself for the worst.
A new hideout
I was lucky this time around, I liked the first place that I went to see, and there were no compromises and no weirdo roommates, infact there were no roommates at all. I kinda liked the idea of living by myself. It was a twin bedroom set on the first floor in a bungalow in Sindh colony, Aundh. I always wanted a place in the area since the day I had arrived in Pune, it was a very posh locality, mainly occupied by businessman or people who bought this some fifty years ago. Real estate was un-affordable after the IT boom in the city.
The property was spacious and had a huge garden at the back, but the parking was quite small, maybe they never planned for having cars. Neighbors were really nice, there was a couple who lived next door to us. They were quite old, around 70ish maybe, Mr. Bodke had a defective ear and he loved programming and computers, which was quite surprising to me. We would talk about technology for hours hanging on the stairs opposite their door and once he showed me a mobile which operated on touch, it was fascinating piece of technology you could run programs on it just as you did you on your PC. Mrs. Bodke would nice in her own, she would tell whenever there is a sale going on in neighborhood, or if a particular ‘bhajiwala’ was good or not. They were quite lonely I think, their children were away in Australia, and that’s where they went every summer for like few months, I guess to spend time with their grand kids.
Oh, I forgot to mention that old 70ish couple was really kind and showered me with love and affection, they invited me to their home on gudi parwa, delicious marathi food was served, Puran pohli was my favorite. Now I wouldn’t get into details of the recipe but it felt like something sent straight from the feast of gods themselves. I bet I could see my belly bulging out from my 30 inch trousers.
I met Poorab on the stairs one day, he was on holidays in India, studying
development studies in Tanzania, now that was a country that really needed some serious development. I asked him where was Tanzania in the map? We sat one day in his living room, then he told me, I thought he was going to bring a map or an atlas or something, but he just pointed toward his heart, this is where Tanzania is, you have to feel it; all you have to know is the pain, and your feet will find the place automatically. I laughed out loud inside my head, I thought the guy was a big piece of drama. And how wrong I was, its funny how you meet the most truthful of the people and they turn out superfluous and untrustworthy and how you meet someone like Poorab, and you feel a genuinity, and a warm soul.
Did I forget to mention that Poorab was the estranged son of the land lady. He left country in rebellion when his parent forced him to CA college; three months later he snapped and just took the road before ending up in remote African country, Tanzania.
It was extremely strange that old neighbors had a very similar story. The only difference was that they had an estranged daughter who got married herself with a silicon-valley based entrepreneur and whose business busted in the dotcom bubble – a bubble turned into rubble. Their daughter committed suicide after her husband shot their two kids dead and left wife seriously wounded, she came back to life only to realize there was no one to live for, she threw herself in the Hudson river and was never found again. I wondered if she made the right choice, and I wondered if he made the right choice by taking the lives. Couldn’t they come back to India and start over? I could see the oldies were quite well off, with kashmiri rug covering the whole apartment, expensive furniture, costly looking home décor and blah blah. For a moment I wondered if I could put up a good act here. I had obviously scored good points so far, maybe this could be all mine if I played it right. I wondered what was happening to me, why was I thinking like a person who had sold his soul to devil.
Coming back to Poorab, he was a weird guy, much weirder than snapping and moving to Tanzania, the more I knew the more peculiar he seemed to me, it was like meeting a new guy every time, I would see him and wonder, “I didn’t know that part of him”. He was guy who drank herbal tea, he was a guy who didn’t touch liquor but openly advocated weed, he was a guy who treated women with utter respect, he was a guy who believed monogamy but visited night clubs to pick up women, he was a guy who didn’t like people, hated socializing but attended page three parties, he was a guy who wouldn’t drive his car above seventy but let me, a noob, drive, he was a guy who didn’t care or give a damn’s ass to his parents but would care for the children of a poor country.
Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer Page 12