#
In the afternoon, Arnav called me, it looked like he wanted to talk about something, I knew it’s gonna be long but I was not in mood to work anyway so I attended him.
"What's bothering you?" I asked Arnav.
"They are not initiating my H1" Arnav replied.
"The date has passed I think" I said.
"Last year they said I was not eligible because I didn't have enough experience"
He continued, "Now, this year the bastard, my manager, is saying I am too experienced for H1"
"Only L1 can be done after three years of experience"
"So where is the problem, take L1"
"It's not that simple my friend" "I said the same thing to him, do my L1 then-"
"So?"
"Manager said he can't"
"Why?" I asked puzzled.
"Because -" He said stressing "if you are not from CORE branch - CSE or IT you have to have five years of experience"
"What? Shit, you are screwed" I exclaimed. “What kind of rule this is?”
"Yes I am, from both sides"
"You remember prakash?" "Prakash? Yes, your teammate?"
"Yeah"
"What about him?"
"He is going onsite?"
"Seriously?" I asked puzzled.
"His H1 is initialized!"
"What really?" "He is one year junior to you isn't it?"
"And he's like big dumb guy, he can't put a line of code without looking into google"
"Well that's really bad"
"Then how is he going?"
"You don't understand, do you?"
I shook my head.
"He's a big time bootlicker, a puppy of manager, you saw that hutch puppy that followed its master everywhere"
"Yes, yes, it was cute"
"Just like that puppy" "He tattles about us to him all the time" "Bloody Backstabber" He was fuming with anger."I am gonna put pressure on the manager too" "Gonna get a offer and then I'll push him for visa"
"But getting an offer will take time" I suggested.
"Yeah-" His eyes saddens "That's true"
"Why don't you play bluff?"
"What do you mean, I fake?"
"No, you just pretend you've got an offer" "See psychologically what an offer gives you is confidence"
"So, just talk to him with that kind of confidence and he will be fooled"
He went in a deep thought and actually considers my solution seriously.
"Or there is an alternative-" I added "you start smoking cigarettes, I am sure one of your manager, PM or SPM or GPM does, and just bond with them that way"
"There was this guy my teammate told me about, he took on smoking just to connect with his boss, and he went onsite in flat six months! No Bullshit"
"I guess, I now have to take some radical step"
"Whatever you do, don’t kill him or anything" I joked, but he didn’t laugh.
#
I wondered if it was a right move to go for such radical measures at this juncture, the market was stressed and there were no signs of bounce backs yet. But at the same time it was also true that what became of Lehman was an excuse for companies to cut corners, employees were beginning to be treated like a liability, they were handled around like a slave. Many lost their jobs, some said people were not even allowed to enter the gate, HRs just saw them off with a pretentious sorry face, and a line that he probably rehearsed in front of mirror, “I am sure you will take this time to reflect upon yourself…” or in some cases like, “This is really an opportunity for you to explore your creative…”
#
The next day I saw Arnav, he was looking completely different, he was wearing a long bright white kurta over the trouser. "New look?" I quizzed him.
"It was required to give a touch of authenticity to my mission"
"You seriously are doing it?" Clearly it was part of his radical move.
"Yes, I'll boycott him first, and decided to wear a kurta as a mark of protest"
"How did the gatekeeper guy let you in?"
"I paid the fine, what else" "- all two hundred bucks of it" he added.
"You might think about striking a bulk deal with the security people, if you are gonna come like this for some time" I quipped.
He smiled and replied, "Just watch me do it"
Alas, the manager didn’t like his tactics a bit and threatened him, he then switched to step two – something that I had suggested him - an empty threat to quit. So, after a day when he was back to his normal wear he went to his manager again and said, "If you don't do my visa, I'll have to look for my options"
"The only option you have now is to stay here, no way we are going to do your
visa"
"I quit then"
"Don't be foolish, this is recession in case you didn’t notice"
"I already have an offer, and I don’t care" Silence enveloped the room for a moment.
"Okay, I'll talk to Manohar (manager’s manager), let's see what he has to say"
"Sure, do whatever, I want visa"
#
"What happened?" I asked him later.
"They asked me to go ahead and quit"
"What?" I said taken aback.
"Yeah, they said if I have an offer than I should probably take it" "-and they are
not going to do my visa any which way"
"well-" I felt really sad for the poor guy, especially because I was the cause of his
misery. I should have known better, specially after what seeing happened with
Dheeraj.
"I'll have to find a job real quick"
"Whatever you do, just don’t hang yourself" I quipped.
#
I called him up later in the afternoon for the lunch but he told me he can't come today why? I asked, he said he can't tell me on phone he suspects his phone is wired.
"Have you gone paranoid or something?" I asked him.
"Me? No" "Okay, bye anyway, talk to you later"
"What are you upto, listen" And he disconnected the phone before I could finish.
What's up with this guy? He was acting totally weird. But who care? I picked up the phone and dialed Bhargavi, I had to since she was offline on communicator. After couple of rings she picked up the phone, and shouted "How many times did I tell you I don't wanna talk to you"
I take a gulp down my throat and said jokingly, “It's me honey”, "What vegetable should I bring for the dinner tonight?"
"What?" She exclaimed.
"Bhargavi, I here, are you coming for lunch?" I said, straightening my tone.
"Yeah, will catch the 1 O’clock shuttle"
"That ‘s late what are you upto ?" I asked.
"I am in the middle of something" She replied.
"Okay, come there to the Cafeteria 7 when you are done"
"Wait for me, naa" She replied.
"I am leaving" I said.
"Come on, wait for me, I am coming"
She told me that she was having big headache, on asking why she tells me that her manager has asked her to work. She had to take some db dumps and do some so called 'critical' stuff.
"I am bored" she urges. I didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, my mind was somewhere else, on Arnav and his secret antics.
I was looking at her listening to her chit-chats blankly when the cell-phone buzzed, he seemed all smiles, “On what glory are you basking on comrade?“ I questioned.
“What?" he said. "Anyway, I went for the interview"
"Interview!" I am taken back.
"When, where, which?" I went to Ignorant Technologies, he told me. Ignorant technologies was a little inside joke of ours, it was the last desperate resort. ITS’s campus is like five minute walking distance from our office.
"What happened then?" I asked. I nailed it, I think.
“You what?” “Seriously ?”
"Yes" He replied, "I did" I asked him the details and he happily spilled out his guts.
“Two
rounds happened, one was technical and other was taken by a rotund guy“
“Managerial round ?” I suggested.
“You are not eating it, can I have the gulab jamun?” The apparently getting bored Bhargavi asked, her fork lurking over my plate.
“Yeah, yeah” I said, without paying much heed to what she was saying.
“Yes, the second was managerial round. HR told me that they'd get back to me for the final round.”
I told him that it was great news, well done buddy. As usual I did what every other guy does - beg for a party on slightest of the occasions. And just as every software engineer tries hard to save his ass from hungry vultures he suggested, "Amul?" I smiled in confirmation and disconnected.
“Hey, where’s my gulab jamun?” I asked perplexed.
“You said, I can have it” She looked at me with fierce eye.
“When ?” I realized, I did say yes.
“I didn’t mean that, you should have known” I complained.
The righteous wrong
In the next three days our worst fears were confirmed, three people had gone missing from our initial bunch of ten people. We lived in the fear that any one of us could be next. I knew something had to be done to safeguard my future, and guess what was better than to try into Ignorant Technologies. The company which was even more sarkaari than ours, and had a dedicated scheme for people who wanted to join from The Corporation. Basically, I could call up the HR helpline of Ignorant, make an appointment and just walk in.
The campus was huge, by huge I mean really, really huge – our company was like a tiny drop in the ocean as compared to Ignorant Technologies. I parked my bike outside at the visitors parking and went inside. The guy at the gate held me up and said that it was already a houseful they had already enough interviewee for the day, I looked at my watch it was only striking 11:30 AM, how could it be, I told him that I was here from a reference call, and not for some walk-in, I told him the manager’s name – Surendra - who was basically the manager from my own company.
He asked me for his employee id, I told him that I don’t know and why doesn’t he look it up himself. The coordinator stared at me real hard and let me go, my bluff had hit the bulls eye. I ignored the whole keep off the grass signs and walked whole heartedly on the lawn, I couldn’t do such feat in my own company and so I felt a strange kind of joy in it. In the corporation they you walk away from the grass or risk getting fired, but it was not as if Ignorant could fire me without first offering a job. I followed the trail marked by signposts which took me to the canteen building, the building I must say looked kind of old, I wondered if it as by designed or they had turned old battered by the winds of change.
I went upto the first floor where the actual interviews were taking place, I submitted my resume and waited for my chance, a few minutes later somebody picked up a resume and shouted out a name, it was my name, it was my resume. The guy was of medium height, half bald, looked project manager kind, I thought it was my lucky day, a project manager how much technical knowledge he probably could have. But how wrong I was, my illusion was shattered soon enough. We settled on a small table, there were only two chair attached, we sat across each other, and it between laid the resume, in the next half an hour he bombarded me with the questions I replied some while I dodged many.
On the way I bumped into the HR who told me he will get back. I waited for a moment and I gave him my business card as I had many to get rid with.
“Call me up” I said.
The guy gave me his business card and said, “Why don’t you call me?”
#
The first thing I did when I entered in the office was to schedule training; I clearly needed to step-up my game. I decided that from here on I’ve to work even harder, my survival clearly dependent on my performance.
And on Monday I didn’t go to my desk instead I went straight to the training room. The training center had its own building, a huge one in-fact, and a beautiful fountain adored at the entrance. I saw few people strolling in the garden which was covered with green turf and bushes of roses and daisies. It took me sometime to find my way inside.
“Where’s this TA-10 room?” I asked the guy who standing near stair with a blackberry in his hands.
“Java Beans training?” He asked. I nodded.
“Just go straight, and then the third left , turn back and then take the second right and –“
“Gosh, who the hell designed this goddamn building.” I murmured.
“Yeah, it is bit complicated to follow at first” He replied.
“I bet one needs training on navigation to get his way around” I quipped.
He smiled and said, “Yeah, they should un-complicate it”
“The manager these days, if only they have time away from petty politics.” “Thanks, anyway” I replied and started walking away.
Somehow I managed to find the place in time, the instructor was already in and a short round of introduction was going on. I sat on the front seat as most of the others were taken.
He was a short, fat guy with a laser pointer in his hand which he used to point on the slide that was projected on the big white screen.
It was not even fifteen minutes of class that a girl who looked somewhere around 28-30 and was chewing on one end of the parker ball pen asked,
“Sir, how is the PrimaryMemory class accesses the memory area in case where the privilege is taken back by the RestrictColumns class? Will not the Virtual machine stop abruptly?” I hate it when people interrupt a smooth flowing session but the question was genuine.
The instructor closed his fist and put it just under his chin, thinking deeply. “True, very true” “I hadn’t thought about it earlier, and honestly I don’t have any answer to it right now” “Maybe it’s not allowed to take back the restriction at the run time?” He guessed. “I have to get back to you on this” He declared.
I don’t know what got into me but something forced me to speak, “Sir, imagine a situation where PrimaryMemory class doesn’t have to access the memory.”
“What do you mean? What are you getting at?”
“It’s a prevention mechanism for the future events but not for the past occurrences which have either completed or are undergoing.” “So, what happens is a copy object is created for PrimaryMemory and this copied object has all the access for the past tasks to finish and once they do finish, this object is destroyed. And meanwhile the new object works with new restrictions.”
I looked around people were either sleeping or playing flash games on their computers. But I had definitely caught the interest of someone I should have. The instructor applauded my point and replied that it was really a different way of thinking.
After the class was over I decided to hang out at the small cafeteria on the ground floor, I was relaxed and going over a business magazine placed on the coffee-table.
“How is it going in the business world? Any multibillion M&A coming up?” He asked, it was same guy that I asked the directions from. He looked tall, wore a fine suit and nice pair of shiny shoes. I wondered who he was.
“You must be wondering who I am?” He said as if he read my mind.
“Yes…” I smiled, “I am just curious. Never came to training area before”
“I am Jay” He said, offering his hand. I still had no clue who he was, was I supposed to know?
“You still didn’t recognize me? Did you? “: He smiled and asked. “I heard about the Java Beans training today. Sridhar told me all about it.” He continued
What about it, I wondered.
“It turns out that you were pretty close to the actual concept, barring a few technical terms of-course. But that just technical mumbo-jumbo, what matters is the analytical thinking” He explained.
“I would like to talk to you formally on subject” He said.
The next few hours flew away talking about memory leaks, the security issues and what not. “I really didn’t get it, how are you associated with trainin
g? Clearly you look like you are into technical area”
“I am intro everything…” He smiled and relaxed his back against the couch, “I am the head here”
“Oh, my god” I gulped.
“Anyway, it was very nice to talk to you. I have to run for a meeting right now, but do call me sometime. We have lot to discuss” “Do you have any development or research project going on?” I asked him.
Instead he got up replied “later” and dashed toward the door and disappeared in obscurity.
#
Arnav called me up, he was jubilant with joy. I knew there was something up with this guy again. He said he secured three tickets to the select preview of the new movie, it was some movie with a blue tribe. The tickets were part of the gift package from his new company. I was baffled, what kind of company does that? He asked me to pick up D.B. and meet him at E-Square at six sharp. I followed suit.
When we met I realized this was a whole new guy. The happiness beamed-off Arnav’s face, he told me that his new manager was very happy with him, and he was finally getting the visa, the long lost dream he had was at-last going to be fulfilled. He had finally found his rainbow’s end, while for me it remained as elusive as it was ever.
What was happening to me, why was I so deeply interested in the personal lives of others, why was I feeling these emotions when they were telling their stories of loss and triumph? I’d look into the mirror and wouldn’t recognize my own reflection; I was becoming something else, I was becoming the people I was around, people I met, I was becoming my experiences, I had to be me, but the problem I was becoming this new me. But then it was part of evolution, you change with time, and doesn’t mean you were unbecoming yourself. I was going mad with rage that came with overthinking, yes overthinking, still I couldn’t put a lid on my thoughts, there were boiling and overflowing; and I overwhelmingly felt somewhere beneath all those layers lied my own skin, skin that I couldn’t see anymore.
Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer Page 17