Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer

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Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer Page 18

by Aarohan Atwal


  Smile elbowed, that shook me up, the showtime was almost up, we moved out of the juice shop and entered the screen 5. The movie started with an intergalactic theme, some song star wars like song, which was well… cheesy sort of. Cheesy absolutely it was. There were all sort of planets floating on the screen and then the camera zoomed into one. I thought it’d interesting to see a movie about aliens, and aliens only. But then bang humans were already there and were already planning to suck the life off the planet. Bloody leeches I thought.

  With each passing frame I felt the movie got boring, a overly simplistic story of little blue people living blissfully ignorant in the world of their own, until of-course they were disrupted.

  “Women!” Arnav screamed mid-movie, boy was he excited!

  “Haven’t seen one before?” I quipped, it was as if we were living in a dystopia where women sightings were rare.

  “Women, yes, the women” He continued, oblivious to my sarcasm.

  “The woman makes you week in knees. Come on look at this guy, hero of the movie, and he was seduced by a blue woman.” I shrugged, I couldn’t comprehend him.

  “Don’t you see it? Our hero left humanity for a navi woman!” Arnav remarked.

  “Of-course she is not just a woman she is a special woman” I added.

  “Yeah, she is blue and like very tall” DB said dumbly.

  “Shut up” “Listen to me, any woman is a special woman to his man” “You gotta find his woman”

  And then it dawned on me, “You mean –“ “you mean-“ I said fumbling for words.

  “Exactly!” He continued,

  “Vishwas!” We shouted at the same time.

  “Get the hell out of here” Somebody shouted at the back. “Keep quiet”

  Arnav whispered, “He must have a weakness, Does he has an affair? cheat his wife?” “Everyman has something to hide, usually a woman”

  “And the way he looks at all those female engineers on the casuals Friday, man he has some gaze of superman, he could peek through their shirts, rip open their trousers with just his laser eyes.” Smiles said.

  We were finally onto something.

  #

  I was chatting with Mrs. Gaekwad downstairs, I was helping her park her car, no I was not behind the wheel, but you know that sort of thing, a little further, a little backward, I was just guiding her. So anyway, we were talking about how our day went, she told me she had to cover up extra classes these days as one of the teacher is on leave, I told we also do the same, only that it was lie, we hardly did our own work, let alone doing someone else’s.

  There was a honking at the gate, look who had just shown up, so I was now personal assistant of Sonia, I opened the gate and helped her park. She was looking little happier than usual, almost electrified so as to speak. She gave me a smirk as she came out of the big shiny toy, and before I could actually ask her anything, she spoke.

  “I have something to show you” “what?” I asked hesitantly, I didn’t like surprises. “That you have to see for yourself” She took out her mobile but then immediately put it back. “No, I will show you on the computer”

  There we go, we were sitting in her room and she opened some video. It was quite blurry and dark, I thought, who’s that dude. There was this guy in sweatshirt, who’s only back was visible and this is what pretty much the video was -

  It was dark stormy night and there he was standing near the big window, directly in the way of the cool breeze rushing into the room. He was saying something, something with great intensity, honesty lurked in his eyes. “I was drowning in the sea of sorrow when you came in my life and rescued me, if not for you I would have been long gone, you saved me from myself, and today I just wanted you to know how deeply I feel for you...” And so on and on he went; and then I noticed he was talking to the half empty bottle of whiskey.

  I couldn’t believe it was me, and I was embarrassed, and she laughed and I laughed, I wondered at silliness of the situation, Poorab had some timing to show up this video this late, I rolled over on the bed and covered my face with the pillow. Of course I was just being dramatic, I had learnt it from her brother. Oh, how badly I missed this guy.

  I asked her how come she’s own such a long break, that question hit right on the giant’s belly. Suddenly she looked pale and unease.

  “I want to confess” She said meekly, barely able to look in my eyes. I didn’t say a word, just waited for her to go on.

  “I am here for someone” “I met this person three years ago at a social function that the church organized for the young people, and I am in love ever since”

  I was shocked to say the least, it was the side of her I had absolutely no idea about.

  “This person -“She continued, but I interrupted her this time. “This person must have some name?”

  “I can’t tell you that right now, but I promise I will when the right time comes” What was she hiding, I wondered, and even bigger question was I was she hiding what she hiding. I didn’t want to get lost in my own word play so I let speak.

  “This person, in pure innocence has taken a step so extreme that the future holds no place for both of us to be together”

  “Whatever the step is it could mean only one thing – your love is not reciprocated”

  She was stung by the bluntness of my words, but replied with composure “We are in love, and we both are in confirmation”

  “What was the problem then?” I asked but she didn’t reply me, I could only guess whatever it was, it was very complex.

  It was a long, long day for me, and a very stranger one too – one on hand was the friend who finally seemed to redeem himself and on the other hand was a young woman determined to find her lost soul, and somewhere in between I was hung on a balance all pinned on a fragile hope.

  #

  It would seem that bell of doom had finally tolled for me, the angel of death, the mister mysterio, the man in black was waiting for me at my desk. The guy who makes people disappear by saying some secret keywords in the ear. He was weird as much as he was mysterious. He spoke only when I got seated, and he spoke so slowly that I could barely follow him.

  “Follow me” He said. “Your presence is required urgently”

  “Where?” I demanded, looking puzzled.

  “Just follow me” And guess where he took me?

  We went to the ground floor area, I saw Vishwas in the corner cabin talking to someone. The mysterious man in black visited Vishwas and Vishwas hurriedly brought down the curtains of the cabin room. But I already knew who was sitting inside the room.

  He came out and asked me to join him in the nearest free cabin.

  “How are you doing I?” He said. “This has been very hectic week” “A whole lot is going on in this organization” He added. I knew he was just building up, stacking up the small talks so that he could finally come to the point.

  We sat down around a round table, a tube light shone above us. His face grew serious, he clearly was in bull-shit mode. How much experience does he have in doing this, I wondered. “The situation has turned so bad in the market and apart from the usual budget cuts we have now even beginning to lose our clients”

  It was no surprise to me, or shouldn’t be to anyone. The competitors like Ignorant Technologies were eating away the business; they were offering more at lesser price. And the quality for which the corporation so much boasted about was no concern in the era of financial stringencies.

  “We are under pressure to cut our costs, and we have to minimize all the expenses that are not needed” He was so blunt that it actually hurt me.

  I stood up, I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s the employees who are doing all the hard work and filling up the silver plates of these bastards. We are the ones paying their five star bills and supporting their golf-course memberships.

  I opened the door and walked away in utter disgust. He shouted walking after me, “Meet Chinmayee, She is waiting for you in the back-office building” Not to mention Chi
nmayee was one of the HR who was made responsible for the dirty work.

  I stopped at the coffee machine and pushed the button for a latte, I needed to cool down and relax before I go and see the HR, not that it mattered. But I should take this as calm and composed. I waited for the machine which made lot of sound before some hot water came down the tap, “Where’s the coffee?” I hit out with open palm on the machine. “What the hell is wrong with this system?” I pondered.

  #

  I waited at HR desk impatiently, apparently she was out on her coffee break, a few minutes later a fat, short woman enters the cubicle. Her face, her body as round as a football, no-offence but fat people need to have a wake-up call badly. She had a packet of banana chips in one hand and with other she held a half empty Pepsi bottle. The chair made a creaking noise as she settled herself, her arms came down as thud on the table in front of us. She reminded me of the wrestlers from sumo fight, which I would say could have been much appropriate profession for her. “Yes,” She said. “Your file, where is it, where is it?” She opened drawer and went through a dozen of files before she could find mine. “Let’s see, mmm –“ “Mr. …”

  “This is your letter here, and you need to sign here and here”

  “What letter?” I hit her back, it was hard I knew I had nothing to lose now. I bet she was not expecting retaliation, people often accepted their fate as either with meek obedience or with tears in cheek. I was none, I was stronger.

  “What do you want from me” I demanded.

  “Excuse me?” She replied, wondering what I meant.

  “Yes, why are you letting me go? And why should I sign this paper.” “I had

  done nothing wrong, nothing against the policies of the company” “You have no reason to let go me, I will not accept it” I fumed.

  She stood up from her chair, “Let me tell you, we are you letting you go and that’s final, we don’t need a reason to explain you everything that goes on in this company” “If we start explaining each and everything to everybody here, no work will be done at all” She looked like a ball on fire ready to roll over me.

  I didn’t bother to stand up to put my point across, instead I raised my finger toward her and waved my arm repeatedly as I spoke,

  “What do you think you are doing will earn you loyalty of corporation? “ “Sorry to say but if axe will fall on HRs you will be the very first one to go”

  “I am none of your concern, right now you should worry about yourself”

  “Sign this –“ She said pushing the paper and pen toward me, “and you can leave

  peacefully. I am sure the last thing you want right now is trouble”

  I took the pen, and she looked bit relieved, but I aimed it at the nearest dustbin - it was a perfect three pointer. Her temper crossed even the last check of thermometer.

  “You have crossed… “She began to speak, and then her phone rang. Ringtone was quite loud, it was a song from Sawariyan movie. I sat waiting for her to finish, I had all the time in world.

  “Yes, Chinmayee speaking” She paused and listened.

  “Yes, yes. I understand” “Yes, he is sitting with me” “No, he hasn’t signed the documents” “Yes, yes, I will” “Fine, Sir”

  “Turns out you have quite a friend in the company” She said, her voice much softened. “Don’t take it personally but it is not me who decide who will stay and who will not. I just follow the orders and fill up forms”

  “What going on?” I asked her, I was nervous as hell.

  “I am not sure how to put it, but you already have a project code. And you cannot be terminated without the concern of your manager.”

  “My manager sent me here” I replied hesitantly, I knew anything I speak may go against me.

  “No, Vishwas is not your manager anymore”

  “Then, who is?”

  “ Mr. Jay”

  “Mr Jay? Since when?”

  “Since three hours.” She quipped.

  The Plan

  I bought a large sheet of white paper, and a red marker. I sat looking over the table where I had spread the sheet, while I was fidgeting with the marker; thinking. Somewhere in the middle of the sheet I drew a stick man and named it Vishwas. Then I drew four arrows, coming from four different directions all toward Vishwas.

  The plan I devised was very simple. It went like this I had to find his weakness and then I had to use it against him. I was sure I’d either blackmail him, or name and shame him. The latter option looked more appealing and more fulfilling too.

  I then drew a circle from where the first arrow stated and named it - “Affair?” Did he an affair I wondered. Something I could use against him. The second circle I drew was - “Corrupt?” Did he cheat the company? Maybe he had ESOPs that he was selling using internal knowledge, or maybe he was trying to manipulate stock prices itself. I hit myself at the back of my head and laughed about it. He is not intelligent or powerful for that matter. I cursed myself for being such an idiot. What else then ?

  “Position?” It was the third circle. Was he taking undue advantage of his position? You bet he was, I had no doubt about it for I was both the witness and the victim of his ruthlessness. Did I have something to prove? No. He was smart, he was clean and never left a trace.

  I then knew there was only one way to get him, I drew the fourth circle and named it - “Bait”. I had to set up a trap and then lure him in. It was an old trick, and key of a successful execution was to give him the illusion that he was in control.

  First, I had to find a honeypot, a sacrificial lamb, and then I had to work out a story that he would fall for. Next up was to choose the characters of the story, the ponies, I had to choose them very wisely. The challenge was I couldn’t afford to let anyone know what I was planning, and yet I had to make them act the way I wanted. I chew the back of the marker at the thought. The question wasn’t how I was going to do it, but the question was:

  How far was I willing to go?

  #

  So I was formally inducted in the team but without much fanfare, Jay showed me around, the research area looked like something else entirely, it looked as if I was suddenly transferred to a distant plant, distant intelligence. There were series of midsized interconnected rooms, walls were beautifully decorated with animated characters which I couldn’t recognize anywhere from popular culture, there were no cubicle, no parallel rows of computers either. There were beans bags lying around, sleazy grey laptops, few workstations but without the regular chairs – you have to work on them standing up. There were no coffee machines I could spot, but instead I found a kitchen with a basket full of fruits ranging from pineapple to black grapes, there were slabs full of stuff to eat, a huge refrigerator which I guess was full of food and beverages too. I wondered if they served chilled bear as well.

  Jay asked me to pick one of the laptops which were not being used. I settled down on a couch, where already a woman and a man were discussing something. They smiled and warmly greeted me. Jay settled himself in the bean bag opposite to me, and spoke.

  “This is team you would be working with” There were five people in the room. They were all super busy with their work. Then he began describe me the project and my role,

  “The project is based on an instant communication network within the organization. Something very similar to LAN and communicator, but the thing is this is the communication channel for mobile devices.” We talked for about forty-five minutes and then I had a talk with the team mates. Team structure was weird, there was no boss apparently, there were no definite tasks – everybody worked on everything. The only rule followed was that in the morning when you arrive, you have declare what are you going to work on, and what were you able to finish the day before.

  “In here we also believe knowledge sharing, and the knowledge sharing mind you doesn’t mean that you have to write documents. As you might have felt already, we don’t work in a regular ordinary way like the rest of the organization do.”

 
“We organize our learning, find its general applicability, and we conduct session, we train people on our findings.”

  “The best way to share knowledge is word of mouth, and not written documents” I agreed.

  You don’t really know how the time flies by when you do something that interests you, and that’s what happened to me working in there. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned in months.

  In two months we rolled phase-1 of our product, to be used company wide. We were a very proud bunch of team, Jay placed a request to formalize our learning and dissipate the knowledge. We scheduled a series of training program, and invited people from all over the center.

  #

  To say I was super-confident and had everything in my head would be a big lie. I was helluva nervous, and I was frozen when I saw so many people waiting for me with their eyes wide open. I did like hundred mistakes but crowd well, was too generous to say the least. After all, there were busy playing flash games and sleeping with open eyes. But there was someone in the audience who paid attention, perhaps to not what I was teaching but to me.

  I called for a coffee-break at the first half an hour mark, they didn’t demand but I knew I needed it badly. It also gave me time to catch-up with an old flame.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Attending your class” She replied, “heard that you were to take a training, how could I miss?”

  “I wanted to talk to you, we have to put an end to all that is not good between us” I purposed.

  “There is no us anymore I, you have to wake up.” “We broke up, don’t you remember?”

  “You are engaged, ain’t you?” I asked.

  “Who told you that?” She asked.

  “So, it is true. You are seeing someone”

  “Maybe there’s more” She added and turned back to leave.

  “You are not going anywhere before telling me why, why are you doing this to me?” I demanded.

 

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