Rosemary Opens Her Heart: Home at Cedar Creek, Book Two

by Naomi King

  Chapter 15

  As Abe Nissley preached the first sermon of Paul Bontrager’s funeral, Matt shifted so he could see between the men sitting in front of him. He peered across the crowded barn, studying the women who faced them in row upon row of black dresses…past his grandmother and his mamm and behind Aunt Abby, Marian Byler, and Eva Detweiler. Because the eldest sat in front while girls Ruthie’s age were in the rear, he knew approximately where to find Rosemary. But with so many out-of-town folks swelling their number to nearly two hundred and every woman wearing her hair tucked under her kapp from a center part, it took longer to study the faces.

  “…and we are thankful to God for the many years of Preacher Paul’s service,” Abe was saying. “In all he said and did, Paul served the Lord with gladness of heart and generosity of spirit. The man God chooses to take his place will have big shoes to fill.”

  As Matt continued to search for Rosemary, Preacher Abe’s phrases lingered with him: gladness of heart…generosity of spirit. Were these qualities Joe Yutzy had possessed? Would he have big shoes to fill if he convinced Rosemary to court and marry him? Could he be a good father for Katie?

  Mighty soon to be concerned about those details. One slice of apple pie and a few smiles aren’t enough reason to hitch up with any woman.

  When he found Rosemary in the crowd, his heart stilled. She was wiping away a tear—not unusual at a funeral—yet the sight of her sorrow made Matt realize she had a lot more at stake than he did if she agreed that he could court her. While no one doubted that Rosemary could keep a home running and be a loving parent while she baked pies to earn money, he could offer little proof that he would make a good husband.

  Had Rosemary been happy with Joe?

  “We now commend our brother Paul Bontrager into the Lord’s eternal care,” Preacher Abe was saying, “with the assurance that he has gone to his reward in Glory, to serve God in the hereafter just as he served us here in Cedar Creek.”

  Matt shifted on the hard wooden bench. He glanced to his left at Jonny Ropp, who sat close enough that their shoulders touched. On his right, Mose Hartzler looked ready to nod off, maybe because he’d been up late with his wife, Hannah, who was due to deliver their third child any day. It struck him then that these fellows, along with a good many of his friends, had married and started families while he was still living at home and keeping his sheep.

  Would Rosemary wonder why he was twenty-two and uncommitted? Would it concern her that he hadn’t yet taken his instruction to join the church?

  You’d better be speaking to Vernon about that, he thought as the bishop rose to read the words of a hymn. Funeral services, being more solemn, included no singing—and he wished they didn’t have to sit through a second, longer sermon without the musical relief of raising their voices. All he could think about was Rosemary…where he might take her to enjoy another slice or two of that apple pie…what he might say to win a “yes” from her.

  Matt closed his eyes, recalling her expression when he’d offered her that forkful of pie. He had definitely surprised her with that move, so how could he keep coming up with ways to impress her as no other fellow ever had? Rosemary’s deep green eyes fascinated him, and as she had gazed up at him with the fork still in her mouth, accepting what he’d fed her, he had yearned to share more moments of such closeness today. Would it be wrong to kiss her? Would she think he was too bold and presumptuous if he held her close? Surely she was as hungry for affection as he was…

  “Oh!” Matt gasped when Jonny elbowed him. On his right, Mose was trying not to snicker, and Carl Byler turned around to see what the commotion was. Even the bishop looked his way as he kept speaking about the true measure of a man.

  You’ve gone and done it now. Got so caught up in your thoughts of Rosemary that you must’ve made a telltale noise.

  Then he realized that Rosemary was looking right at him from across the crowded barn. Had he attracted everyone’s attention? Made a fool of himself? Matt returned her gaze, and after a moment she lowered her eyes.

  For the rest of the long, somber service, Matt sat up and paid attention even as he longed to be outside in the fresh air. His stomach rumbled. He tried not to think about those seven remaining pieces of apple pie…

  At last Bishop Gingerich pronounced the benediction, and the men filed out one side of the barn while the women exited through the other door. Because the Cedar Creek cemetery was just down the hill, below the Bontrager place, Paul’s wooden coffin would ride in the horse-drawn black hearse but everyone else would walk to the graveside service. Beulah Mae Nissley, Matt’s mamm, and other neighbor ladies would stay behind to make the final meal preparations so the Bontrager family would be greeted with a hot dinner when they returned from laying Paul to rest.

  As soon as he stepped out the door, Matt followed a hunch. Sure enough, he saw Rosemary enter the greenhouse with Abby and his grandmother. It didn’t surprise him that she would help serve the meal rather than attend the burial of a fellow she hadn’t known—especially so soon after her husband’s death. Into the greenhouse he went, and despite curious glances from Eunice Graber and Adah Ropp, he walked directly over to Rosemary.

  “May I have a word?” he whispered, gesturing toward the front room of the shop.

  Rosemary looked startled, yet she followed him through the swinging door and into the area where his grandmother displayed her potted plants and the woven baskets some of the local ladies made to sell. “Jah? What’s on your mind?”

  Matt knew better than to elaborate on the thoughts he’d had during the service. Instead, he reached for Rosemary’s hand. “With so many older folks here and Bontrager kin from out of town, it’ll be a long while before it’s our shift to eat,” he murmured. “How about if we take my pie and slip into the house to fill a couple of plates after the burial? Then we could sit out back in the swing together.”

  Matt wasn’t sure where that idea had come from on the spur of the moment, yet Rosemary’s expression made his heart pound.

  “I—I don’t see why not. We’d be outside, in plain sight, and, well—truth be told, Abby said they have a gut many helpers for the meal and…” Rosemary’s voice trailed off, and she glanced toward the door.

  Matt held his breath. Was she having second thoughts?

  “If I eat with you early on, I can be washing the dishes from the first shift,” she said resolutely. “And while your mamm and sisters are eating, I can help at the tables, if need be. How’s that sound?”

  Matt squeezed her hands, keenly aware of how small yet sturdy they felt. “Perfect. It sounds just perfect, Rosemary.”

  The next forty-five minutes flew by in a flurry of preparations for the funeral meal. Rosemary got into the flow quickly, slicing hams and cutting up baked chickens that Beulah Mae Nissley had prepared at her café. As Rosemary put the meat back into its large metal catering pans to keep it warm, Abby and her mother were setting plates of pie at each place on the long tables, while Barbara and her girls poured water into glasses. Large covered pans of hash-brown casserole and mixed vegetables waited on the serving table, too, so folks could help themselves as they came in. Aunt Lois had baked dozens of loaves of bread, and as Bessie Mast sliced them, Eunice and Emma Graber filled baskets and set them on the tables beside the butter plates. Rosemary had discovered that no matter where she went among Plain folks, the church services were the same—and so were the basic tasks that went into serving food for a large crowd of hungry people.

  “The first folks are coming down the road from the cemetery now,” Treva announced as she glanced out the window.

  Beulah Mae began removing the lids from the pans, while Barbara set out serving spoons. Rosemary was brushing crumbs from the table when a familiar face greeted her from the swinging door of the shop.

  “I jogged ahead of the crowd,” Matt said breathlessly. “Looks like if we fill our plates real quick-like and I grab my pie, we’ll be on our way to a picnic, jah?”

  How could s
he refuse? It might not be entirely proper to eat before the Bontrager family, but when Abby waved them on, Rosemary followed Matt down the length of the serving table, filling her plate. The two of them were walking across the yard toward the Lambright home as the others were entering the greenhouse to go through the line.

  “Was this a gut plan, or what?” Matt held his pie in one hand and a piled plate in the other. “I thought Vernon would never finish the service. And it seemed Preacher Abe spent nearly as long giving Paul’s send-off as it took Gideon Ropp and me to dig the grave yesterday.”

  Rosemary willed herself not to recall the gaping hole in the ground where they had laid Joe to rest. “We women stayed busy, believe me. Made it handy that Beulah Mae Nissley and Aunt Lois could cook most of the meal in their restaurants and keep it hot in their big catering pans.”

  Matt led her past the side of his white house, around to a double swing in the backyard. Made of white wooden slats and suspended by chains on a freestanding A-frame, it sat facing out over the pastures. He wiped the wet seat with napkins he’d grabbed in the serving line and nodded for her to be seated first. “What I was trying to say,” he continued in a softer voice, “was that I couldn’t wait for all the formalities to be finished so I could spend time with you, Rosemary. It was a fine surprise this morning to see that you’d come with Titus.”

  As he slid onto the wooden seat, careful not to jostle her, Rosemary felt her cheeks flush. Now that she was alone with Matt, she would have to respond to his pleasant chitchat. “Jah, well,” she began, feeling suddenly tongue-tied, “when Titus said he planned to speak with Perry Bontrager about buying that land across the road, I…I wanted a chance to look things over firsthand.”

  Matt’s dimples winked at her. “You can look me over all you want, Rosemary,” he said before he took a big bite of ham.

  The way he chewed made her watch his lips—until she caught herself. She focused on her forkful of cheesy hash-brown casserole. “If Paul’s land does come up for sale, I won’t necessarily move to Cedar Creek with Titus, you know. I have a lot of decisions, now that he wants to be your partner in the sheep business.”

  For a moment Matt looked like a puppy who’d been punished, but he recovered quickly. “Jah, you have a lot more to consider than I do,” he replied. “But let me tell you this. I’ve never before met a woman who made me feel like I’d have a great big hole in my life if I didn’t see her again. It was love at first sight, for sure and for certain,” he continued earnestly, “and I’m not saying this to make you nervous, Rosemary, or to get you to say the same thing back to me.”

  Rosemary had a hard time swallowing her hash browns. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn’t think straight. Matt had cut right to the chase, hadn’t he? And even if he didn’t expect her to love him right now, he obviously wanted her feelings to catch up to his as soon as possible.

  She focused on the rolling green pastures dotted with woolly white sheep…the bursts of pink redbud blossoms and white dogwood blooms set off against the dark green cedar trees growing along the creek. The Lambright land made a peaceful scene, and it was a view she could grow to love. Still…

  “I don’t know a thing about you, Matt,” she blurted out, gripping her plate so it didn’t slip off her lap. “We haven’t spent any time together, or—”

  “Which is why I invited you to eat with me,” he pointed out. “Maybe you know more than you think, Rosemary. You’ve seen my flock, and you’re already aware of what goes into keeping sheep. You’ve been inside my home and met my family. And you know how Katie already loves my dogs and isn’t the least bit afraid of me. Those things are important, jah?”

  Rosemary took a bite of ham, stalling, because Matt’s answer made perfectly good sense. “So—what do you know about me?” she asked, mostly because she couldn’t think of anything else to keep her side of the conversation going. Her pulse pounded with that reaction they had called “fight or flight” in school. She certainly wasn’t a fighter and she didn’t want to run from this conversation, but it made her uncomfortable to talk so seriously so soon.

  “Well, besides the fact that the proof of your pie is in the eating, I admire the way you chose to look after Titus and Beth Ann. Titus has told me you could just as easily have stayed at your mamm’s.” Matt lifted a crispy chicken leg to his lips, chewed a bite, and then swallowed. “And you’ve taken on all the work his wife, Alma, once did, plus you’re raising a child and baking pies—and you’re seeing to Beth Ann’s growing up at a tough time in her life. I’ve got a lot of respect for a woman who voluntarily cares for her husband’s family, Rosemary.”

  Matt glanced at her over a forkful of broccoli and cauliflower. “So—even without getting into how your smile does crazy things to me and how pretty you are—I’ve touched on some important traits. You’re a gut woman, and I hope I can win your trust and love. I’ve decided to take my instruction to join the church, so you’ll know I’m a solid fellow with the best of intentions for taking care of you and Katie.”

  Rosemary gripped her fork. Matt sounded sincere and steadfast. And those were traits she had treasured about Joe. “I—I need time to think about—”

  “You need a man to make you laugh and to hold you when you cry,” Matt said softly. “And seeing how you love little Katie, I’m thinking you’ll want more children someday. I want to be the husband who helps you raise them.”

  Rosemary’s fork clattered to her plate. “I—I—”

  Matt slipped a hand gently behind her head, leaned toward her, and kissed her on the lips. It was a soft, sweet kiss, and for a few moments Rosemary wanted it to last longer. She had forgotten the pleasure of sharing a man’s affection…

  Then she grabbed her plate and sprang from the swing. “This is happening way too fast!” she cried out. “If I say the least little thing to encourage you, or agree with everything you’ve just said, you’ll think I’m all set to marry you! And that’s not going to happen!”

  Rosemary hurried around the frame of the swing, toward the back door that led into the Lambrights’ kitchen. Her throat was so tight she could hardly breathe. Matt called her name, but she stepped into the house without a backward glance. Once inside, she fell against the door to close it, desperately trying to rein in her galloping doubts.

  Thank goodness the kitchen was empty while the other women assisted with the meal in the greenhouse. It wouldn’t do for them to see how agitated she was. Their questions would lead her to reveal what Matt had done to put her in such a state. She inhaled the aromas of chicken, ham, and hash-brown casserole left warming in the ovens for the next shift of guests.

  He kissed you. Was that so wrong?

  Rosemary set her half-full plate on the counter. She found the dish soap and began to run hot water in the sink—anything logical and purposeful. When her hands were busy, her thoughts were less likely to rush into places where they shouldn’t go. As the steam rose, along with the lemon scent of the liquid soap, she closed her eyes.

  Jah, he kissed me, Lord. And maybe I liked it a little too much. And maybe I’m afraid that with all the plans Matt seems to have, my own ideas might get swept aside…like they sometimes did with Joe.

  Her eyes flew open. It wasn’t proper to think ill of the dead, especially since Joe Yutzy had been a dependable husband and was the father of her child. And yet…

  Forgive me, Jesus. While I didn’t always like to submit to my husband’s will, as a Plain wife is supposed to do, I believe I am to submit to Your will, first and foremost.

  She placed several cooking utensils in the hot, soapy water and began to wash them. She had to admit it was a thrill to hear a nice fellow like Matt say such wonderful-gut things about her. Was she being prideful or immodest? Was she running scared from the secure future God was arranging for her? She must turn her doubts and fears over to God for now, but she wasn’t giving Matt any answers just yet either.

  As she set several glass pie pans in the hot water to soak, Rosem
ary inhaled the warm, citrus scent and felt her emotions settling. This always happened after she took a moment alone to talk to God. Through the window she saw Matt heading back to the greenhouse, probably to refill his plate. No doubt she had hurt his feelings, but she’d been afraid. And fear had no place in a serious relationship between a man and a woman.

  But hadn’t Matt also said he admired and respected her? It was rare to hear an Amish fellow express such sentiments—as well she knew, after living with her stern, stoic dat and then with Joe and Titus. From what she could tell, Matt was as dependable and sincere as Abby had said he was. Had he meant it when he’d hinted over the phone that he would move to Queen City to be with her? If she had that house built from the blueprints, Matt could bring his sheep to her land and they would have a home of their own, and Titus wouldn’t feel compelled to move to Cedar Creek. She would still live just down the road from Mamm and Malinda. Life as she and Katie knew it would be so much simpler…

  But I’m getting as much ahead of myself as Matt was, Lord. So for now I’ll just wash these dishes and leave the future to You.

  Chapter 16

  Abby was standing at her mamm’s greenhouse sink, scraping the crusty hash-brown casserole from the sides of an emptied glass pan, when James came to stand beside her. “I owe you a big apology for my behavior the other night,” he murmured. “Can we talk about it somewhere?”

  She recognized the same pain in his expression that she’d been feeling since Sunday evening, but what had taken him so long to come around? Does that really matter? Hear him out, so you can put your doubts to rest.

  Abby glanced behind them. The big glass room was noisy, with so many folks chatting as they ate their meal, so the two of them would be able to converse quietly here. As was the Amish custom, the Bontrager family and the older members of the Cedar Creek community had been seated first, so she and James—the folks their age and younger—wouldn’t fill their plates until this round of guests had finished their dinner. “I’m listening,” she said as she ran water over the pan.