Artist's Dream

by Gerri Hill

  It was a perfectly innocent comment, Cassie knew. And had her own thoughts not been running in that same direction, she could have taken it at face value. But her stomach rolled, and she was afraid she was actually going to be sick. She swallowed hard, gulpŹing in fresh air, wishing she had a glass of cold water. Luke’s hands were warm on her skin as she helped her inside and Cassie leaned against the cool leather and closed her eyes. She felt like hell. She would feel worse tomorrow, she knew. And God, she was embarŹrassed. What must Luke think of her?

  “Are you okay?”

  Cassie nodded and slowly rolled her head to face Luke, finding concerned eyes looking back at her.

  “Actually, I feel like crap,” Cassie admitted as her eyes slid shut.

  She heard Luke chuckle and managed a small smile of her own. It faded quickly when a warm hand cupped her cheek. It took all her strength not to rub against that hand, to move her lips over the soft palm. She heard a low moan and was mortified when she realŹized it had come from her. That same hand slipped behind her neck and strong fingers rubbed gently, relaxing her.

  She leaned her head forward, giving Luke better access and she was unable to stop another low moan from escaping. She didn’t care. The impromptu massage felt too good. The throbbing in her head subsided somewhat and she felt herself drifting, her last conŹscious thought that she wanted to lay her head down in Luke’s lap and sleep.

  A nudging of her arm woke her, but her eyes refused to open, and she snuggled closer against the warmth, her face touching warm skin.

  “Come on, Cassie,” a voice penetrated the haze in her brain. “As much as I’m enjoying this, you’d be more comfortable in bed.”

  Cassie groaned and tried to lift her head. “No. This is fine, really,” she murmured. Then a husky laugh in her ear brought her around, and she opened her eyes, only to find her face snuggled securely in Luke’s neck.

  She pulled back, Luke’s arm sliding off her shoulder, and she sat

  back in her own seat. How had she managed to cross the console and end up practically in Luke’s lap? Her eyes widened and she felt a deep blush creep up her face.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  Luke laughed again. “Please don’t be sorry. It was rather nice.”

  Cassie blushed a deeper red and turned away, trying to open her door.

  “Don’t stand up just yet,” Luke was saying, but Cassie was already swinging her legs out. She would have fallen to the ground if Luke hadn’t run around the Lexus to catch her.

  “I speak from experience,” Luke said. She pressed Cassie against the trunk, holding her there, and Cassie was aware of every place their bodies touched. “I don’t ever … do this,” she said. Her thighs burned where Luke pressed against them, and she shut her eyes against the fire. “I hardly drink more than a glass or two at a time.”

  “Then why tonight?”

  Luke’s voice was barely a whisper, her mouth just inches away, and Cassie couldn’t pull her eyes away from Luke’s lips.

  Cassie shook her head. Her body seemed to have a life of its own, and she felt it pull away from her and pulse toward Luke. “Please, I’m just having a really difficult time… with some issues right now,” she whispered. She finally raised her eyes to Luke’s. “You confuse me.”

  “Oh, no. You confuse me,” Luke countered.

  “I confuse myself,” Cassie admitted.

  They were standing too close together, and Cassie knew they should move. She was aware of her uneven breathing, her rapidly beating heart. It was only then she noticed the pulse throbbing in Luke’s neck and her own quickly drawn breath. It would be so easy, Cassie thought. Luke’s lips were there, so close and inviting and all Cassie had to do was…

  “Cassie?”

  Cassie pulled herself out of her daze, daring to meet Luke’s eyes. It was a mistake. Eyes darkened with desire looked back at

  her. She lost herself in those eyes. In that one moment, she knew that if Luke had taken her hand and led her inside, she would have been powerless to resist. Their eyes locked, both seemingly searching for answers to questions not yet asked. Then Luke merŹcifully moved away from her, breaking the spell.

  “Where’s your key?”

  “Pocket,” Cassie said, and then she laughed when Luke grinned mischievously.

  “Oh, well, allow me to get it,” Luke teased, reaching for her.

  Cassie playfully slapped her hand and produced the key.

  In the short walk to the front door, Cassie’s head began to pound again, and she handed Luke the key while she leaned against the wall. She watched Luke in the moonlight as she strugŹgled to fit the key in the lock. She wanted to touch her, she realŹized. She wanted to touch her face, her hair. Cassie had never been an overly affectionate person, never had the desire to be physically close to people. That was another wall Luke had managed to take down, she thought.

  “I’ll just see you in.”

  Luke stepped aside and Cassie walked past, not stopping until she walked into her bedroom and lay down sideways on the bed. She should at least see Luke out, thank her, but Cassie was sudŹdenly too tired to take another step.

  “Can I do anything?”

  “Make the bed stop spinning,” Cassie whispered. She heard Luke chuckle, then felt her weight as she sat down on the bed beside her. Cassie rolled her head toward her slowly. “Luke, why did you start drinking?”

  Luke shrugged. “A woman. What else?”

  “What do you mean?” Cassie asked, trying to ignore the warm hands that brushed the hair away from her forehead.

  “She was married. We were having an affair. She was going to leave her husband,” Luke explained. “After a year, I started drinkŹing a little bit more. After two years, I was drinking a lot. And as we started on three, I was drinking all day long,” she said quietly.

  “But she didn’t leave her husband?” Cassie asked softly.

  Luke shook her head. “No. I finally realized that she had no intention of leaving him, and I was slowly killing myself. Physically, I felt like crap. Professionally, I was close to losing my job.” She looked away for a moment, staring off. “She was … playŹing with me, I guess. Experimenting,” Luke said, almost to herself. She turned back to Cassie. “I ended things with her, went home and poured out all the booze in the house and spent a couple of weeks at a health club soaking up carrot juice and fresh fruit,” she said. Then she smiled. “I sort of became a health nut. Beat drinkŹing,” she shrugged. “Dove into my work with both feet, finally starting my own company. I guess I can thank her for that.”

  “And the woman?” Cassie asked.

  “Still married, I suppose,” Luke said.

  “Are you still in love with her?”

  Luke smiled. “No. Not even a little bit,” she said. “That was a

  long time ago.”

  “And why don’t you have someone now?”

  “Because that one just about killed me,” Luke said.

  Cassie let her eyes slide shut. “Well, she was no good for you,” she whispered. She felt Luke get off the bed, and she tried to open her eyes.

  “I’ll get you some aspirin.”

  “And water,” Cassie murmured.

  “And water,” Luke agreed. “Why don’t you get out of these clothes? I’ll bring you a wet cloth for your forehead.”

  Cassie rolled her head toward Luke again and forced her eyes open. “Luke? Thank you. I was rude to you earlier tonight, in the kitchen. I’m sorry.”

  “And why was that?”

  “Trish,” Cassie whispered. “I don’t like her for you. Don’t get involved with her. She’s not a nice person. And you are.” She looked up at Luke then. “Have I told you that I think your eyes are beautiful?”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  Luke’s low chuckle sent shivers through her, but she continued anyway. “They are beautiful. They’re not always so dark, though. Sometimes they’re almost golden.”

  She saw Luke smile at
her, and she smiled back before closing her eyes.

  “Why Trish?” Luke asked. “Why don’t you like her?”

  Cassie just shook her head. “Never mind,” she whispered. “I just meant to tell you about your eyes.”

  “You’ve had way too much to drink,” Luke stated unnecessarily. “You know, there’s this rule about straight women complimenting lesbians. It could be very dangerous.”

  “I thought it was the other way around,” Cassie whispered, and she felt herself drifting off to sleep. “I’m not really straight, you know.” Cassie didn’t know if she had spoken the words or not. As her eyes shut firmly, she prayed she had only thought them.

  Dream hands came to her, unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down. She helped them, wanting those dream hands upon her. Then they came to her blouse, and she waited patiently as they unbuttoned it slowly. Hurry, she was thinking, but the dream hands took their time. She grabbed them once, entwining their fingers before pulling the dream hands to her breasts, but they resisted and she whimpered, rolling toward the dream hands, searching for them again but they left her, left her body on fire and wanting.

  Then she sighed as the dream hands gently touched her face and she felt the briefest caress as dream lips brushed her cheek, then her own lips. She turned toward them, seeking, but they were gone.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Cassie rolled her head very gingerly to the side and pried one eye open, trying to see the clock. Only six. She groaned. She was a habitual early riser, and her internal clock had not taken a break.

  “Oh, Christ,” she whispered. She saw the empty water glass and thought that at some point during the night, she remembered swallowing the two aspirins.

  She stretched out her legs and groaned again. Through the pounding in her head she realized that she was naked. She sat up on one elbow and frowned. She didn’t remember getting undressed. At least, not alone. She had a vague memory of hands on her, pulling her jeans down, but that had been a dream. Surely, just a dream.

  She lay back down, trying to remember what had happened. Luke had been here, she had taken her home … yes, she had come into her bedroom. She was going to get her aspirin and water. Cassie saw her clothes folded neatly in the chair and her mouth dropped open.

  “Oh, dear Lord,” she murmured. What had happened last night? She touched her lips with her fingers, then touched her cheek. She had a vague memory of lips brushing hers, of hands touching her, but… she had been dreaming. Surely.

  After a silent count to three, she sat up, her head feeling like a bass drum during a very long parade. She grabbed her head with both hands and groaned.

  “Okay, I swear,” she whispered. “I’ll never drink again.” She stood on shaky legs, her head about to explode, and made her way to the bathroom. If she could just get through this day, she would be all right. And on the heels of that, if I could just remember what happened last night…

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Look, correct me if I’m wrong here, but I get the feeling that you and Luke are more than just casual acquaintances,” Kim told her as she paced behind the beaver.

  Cassie tried to ignore her. She got down on her knees and brushed off the dust and wood chips from the carving.

  “Why are you not answering me?”

  Cassie sat back on her heels and placed her hands on her hips. “What do you want me to say?”

  “You claim to barely know her, yet she seeks you out at the bar and asks you to dance. Then, you show up together at the party. You get drunk on your ass, and she takes you home, and you have nothing to say?” Kim faced her with her own hands on her hips. “Give me a break. I wasn’t born yesterday. I’ve seen her type.”

  “Her type?”

  “Yes. Her type! My God, look at her! She’s like the high school quarterback, and you’re the last virgin in school.” Kim bent down

  and looked Cassie in the eye, her tone deadly serious. “She’s trying to win the toaster oven.”

  Cassie burst out laughing, falling down on the floor as she laughed. “You’re incredible,” she gasped. “I don’t think Luke Winston is the type to go around converting women!”

  “Why are you laughing? I’m completely serious!”

  Cassie sat and folded her legs and wiped at the smile on her face. “I thought you’d be happy that some woman was paying me attention. After all, you’re convinced I’m a lesbian. It wouldn’t really be converting then, would it?”

  “She’s not what I had in mind,” Kim said. “She’s too … just too much.”

  “Too what? Too attractive?”

  “No. Yes. She’s … Cassie, just look at her. She could have any woman she wanted, any time she wanted. I’m sure she’s been around the block a time or two.”

  Cassie laughed again. “Kim, Luke Winston is not interested in me. Nor I her,” she added, hoping she sounded convincing.

  Kim stared at her, and it was her turn to laugh. “You surely aren’t going to tell me that I imagined those looks between you and Luke?”

  Cassie’s smile vanished and her chin rose. “I most certainly am,” she said. “We’re only friends and hardly that,” she insisted. “I’m sorry if you think otherwise.”

  “Honey, I know her type,” Kim said again gently. “I worry about you. I don’t want her to take advantage of you.”

  Cassie took Kim’s hand and brought it to her lips. “I love you, Kim. You’re the best. But don’t worry about me. I can handle this.” She waved one hand above her head. “Whatever this is,” she said. “Luke is a really nice person, and I do like her a lot. But as a friend,” she insisted.

  Kim looked at her silently for a long moment. “If you need to talk…”

  “I know. You’d be the first.”

  “Okay.” Kim stood and walked away, feigning interest in a small

  nuthatch that Cassie had recently finished. “So, one more week until the fair. You’ll be ready?”

  Cassie nodded with relief. Work, she could talk about.

  After Kim left, Cassie spent the afternoon cleaning up her workroom. She arranged all her tools again, which would soon be scattered about, but for the moment looked neat. She even brought the vacuum out and cleaned in all the corners. Her carvŹings were all ready, save two. She only had to box them up for the move to the fairgrounds. She piddled in the workroom, trying not to think about Luke Winston and Kim’s words to her. She actually was feeling much better about the whole thing. It had been four days since the party, and she had only spoken to Luke once, briefly, the day after.

  Absently, she picked up a delicate fawn, admitting to herself that she had been intentionally rude to Luke on the phone. In truth, she had been totally embarrassed and didn’t have a clue as to what to say to Luke. Of course, it would help if she could actually remember everything that had happened that night. She only had her imagination and a faintly remembered dream to rely on. Both of which she would rather forget. Hands. Always hands coming to her, touching her. Luke’s hands. But it was just a dream, she told herself. She didn’t want to think about how she managed to wake up naked.

  But now, she needed to apologize. Luke had done nothing wrong, and she certainly didn’t deserve to be treated as if she had. And Cassie felt like a total ass for being short with her on the phone.

  She reached for the phone beside her workbench, one hand still clutching the fawn and dialed Luke’s number from memory. It was answered on the second ring.

  “It’s me … Cassie.”

  There was only a brief moment of silence before Luke spoke.

  “Hey. I was hoping you’d call.”

  Cassie smiled. She should have known Luke wouldn’t be mad, and she wished she’d called sooner.

  “I need … I need to apologize,” Cassie said. “I never meant to

  “No. You don’t need to apologize. Forget about it,” Luke said. “I should have waited to call, I was just making sure you were okay.”

  “I know you were. I appreciate it. But still, I
was rude, and I had no right to be.”

  “Okay. You’ve apologized. I accept.”

  Cassie smiled again. She had missed Luke, she realized. And she felt comfortable enough to ask her the question that had been gnawing at her for the last few days.

  “Luke, I didn’t… you didn’t… I mean, I was naked when I woke up,” she said quietly. She had to know what had happened, no matter how embarrassed this was making her. She couldn’t stand not knowing any longer. But Luke’s low chuckle sent chills over her body.

  “You don’t remember a thing, do you?”

  “Not much, no,” Cassie admitted.

  “You mean, even when you ravished me by the front door?”

  “Luke! Please …”

  Luke laughed again. “Don’t worry. You were quite the lady … and I was a perfect gentleman,” she said.

  Cassie sighed with relief. “I thought… well I was worried …”

  “That I had taken advantage of you?”

  “No! Of course not,” Cassie said. Is that what she thought? “I was just hoping that I wasn’t… well, I never act like that. I’m sorry you had to witness it.”

  “It’s okay. Really. And I’m glad you called. I was actually going to call you. If you don’t already have plans, I was hoping you’d come over for dinner Saturday evening.”

  “Dinner?”

  “Yes. You know, cook and eat,” Luke said with just a hint of teasing in her voice.

  Cassie smiled, knowing she was crazy to even consider it but

  also knowing she would agree. She seemed to be powerless when it came to Luke.

  “I don’t have plans.”

  “So… that means you accept?”

  “I accept,” Cassie said.

  “Great. Come about six, and I’ll put you to work in the kitchen.”

  When they hung up, Cassie still stood by her workbench with the fawn resting lightly in her hand. It was crazy, she knew. The one person who might be able to break down her carefully conŹstructed walls, and she was going to her willingly. That’s a laugh, she thought. What walls? There didn’t seem to be any walls where Luke was concerned. She tried to tell herself it was just the friendŹship she craved, but her body told her something else entirely.