Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts: And Bizarre Information (Bathroom Readers)
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In 1998 a California entrepreneur named Bill Warren filed a claim under the Guano Act, obtained a deed from heirs of the Navassa Phosphate Company, and claimed ownership of the island. Predictably, the U.S. government denied his claim.
There is also a dispute between the United States and Haiti, which maintains that the island lies within its territorial boundary.
HOWLAND ISLAND
LOCATION: North Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and Australia
SIZE: A little more than one-half square mile
POPULATION: Uninhabited
BACKGROUND: Claimed by the American Guano Company in 1858. Its other claim to fame: In 1937 an airstrip was built on the island as a stopover for aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart on her round-the-world flight. Earhart and her navigator took off from Lae, New Guinea, but never reached Howland. (The unexplained disappearance still intrigues conspiracy buffs.) Today Howland Island is a National Wildlife Refuge.
BAKER ISLAND
LOCATION: North Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and Australia
SIZE: One-half square mile
POPULATION: Uninhabited
BACKGROUND: Named by an American whaler, Michael Baker, who found the island in 1832. Presently it is a National Wildlife Refuge run by the U.S. Department of the Interior.
JOHNSTON ATOLL
LOCATION: North Pacific Ocean, 800 miles southwest of Hawaii
SIZE: One square mile of dry land; 50 square miles of shallow water
POPULATION: 1,000 military and support personnel
BACKGROUND: The four tiny islands were discovered in 1796 by an American sea captain.
During World War II, the military used Johnston Island, the largest of the four outcroppings, as a refueling point for aircraft and submarines. A few days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Japanese submarines fired on military facilities there but caused no casualties.
The U.S. Air Force took over in 1948 and used the site for high-altitude nuclear tests in the 1950s and 1960s. In 1964 a series of open-air biological weapons tests were conducted near the atoll using several barges loaded with rhesus monkeys. Chemical weapons have been stored on Johnston Island since 1971, but the U.S. Army began destroying them in 1981. Munitions destruction is reportedly complete, and as of July 2006, the atoll is listed as property for auction by the U.S. General Services Administration.
JARVIS ISLAND
LOCATION: South Pacific, between Hawaii and the Cook Islands
SIZE: Less than two square miles
POPULATION: Uninhabited
BACKGROUND: Discovered by the British in 1821; claimed by the American Guano Company in 1858; abandoned in 1879; annexed by Britain in 1889; abandoned soon after. Reclaimed by the United States in 1935. The island is currently a National Wildlife Refuge; a small group of buildings are occasionally occupied by scientists and weather researchers.
PALMYRA ATOLL
LOCATION: North Pacific Ocean, 1,000 miles south of Hawaii
SIZE: Four and a half square miles
POPULATION: Uninhabited
BACKGROUND: This group of 54 islets is known for its lush natural beauty and biological diversity.
The first to land on the atoll were sailors from the American ship Palmyra, which was blown ashore during a storm in 1852. Though the American Guano Company claimed the atoll, guano was never mined there. In 1862 King Kamehameha IV of Hawaii took possession of the atoll, which is actually a part of the Hawaiian archipelago. The United States included it when it annexed Hawaii in 1898, but when Hawaii became a state in 1959, Palmyra was excluded.
The 1974 murder of a yachting couple on Palmyra became the subject of a 1991 novel by Vincent Bugliosi (and a subsequent TV movie) entitled And the Sea Will Tell. Today the atoll is privately owned by the Nature Conservancy, which is managing it as a nature preserve.
Vitamins 101
To impress upon you the importance of daily vitamin ingestion, we’ll now cheerfully terrify you with examples of all the diseases and ailments you can get if you don’t. Yes, that’s right, nature imposes penalties for not treating your body right. You probably knew that. Now you’re going to get it spelled out for you. Let’s take the vitamins in alphabetical order, shall we?
VITAMIN A
What it does for you: Keeps your skin and your eyes healthy; helps you heal your body.
What happens if I don’t have it? Your night vision goes out the window, since vitamin A is a component of “visual purple,” a protein that boosts your eyes’ sensitivity in dim light. Your skin can become scaly and dry. The linings of your mucous membranes can lose their cilia, which will increase your susceptibility to bacterial infections. In severe cases of vitamin A deficiency, you get xerophthalmia, a totally disgusting disease in which your eyes become swollen, your tear ducts shut off, and your eyelids get all full of pus. Unsurprisingly, your corneas are more susceptible to infection and ulceration when your eyes are like this, and it’s fairly likely you’ll go blind.
I’m convinced. Vitamin A is in eggs, milk, liver, and green and yellow vegetables. But, be careful, too much vitamin A is not good either. Stick to the recommended daily allowance.
VITAMIN B1 (THIAMINE)
What it does for you: It helps your body break down carbohydrates and keeps your nervous system humming along nicely.
What happens if I don’t have it? Then you get beriberi, which despite its mildly amusing name is really a righteously nasty little disease; the name of the disease is taken from a Sinhalese word meaning “extreme weakness.” To start off, you lose your appetite and get all slackerlike; you experience digestive problems and numbness in your extremities. That numbness is just your body’s way of saying, “Hey, moron, the long nerves in your arms and legs are beginning to atrophy!” From there, you have your choice: “dry” beriberi, in which those long nerves atrophy even more and you experience loss of muscle mass and motor control, or “wet” beriberi, in which you experience edema (i.e., fluid saturating your body), poor circulation, and cardiac failure. They both sound so good. It’s really hard to choose. End results of severe beriberi: paralysis or death. Or both.
I’m convinced. Milk, liver, peanuts, and pork are all good sources of B1.
VITAMIN B2
What it does for you: A factor in your body’s oxidization of carbohydrates and amino acids, and a key ingredient in some critical enzymes.
What happens if I don’t have it? Your friends start to think you’ve become a vampire, because your eyes suddenly develop an increased sensitivity to light. They also wish you would, like, take a bath, because your skin is becoming all greasy and scaly. Your mouth is also in bad shape. Your lips redden and develop cracks at the corners (this is called cheliosis), and your tongue is inflamed and sore (glossitis). Basically a B2 deficiency makes you look all squinty and puffy, and where’s the fun in that?
I’m convinced. Get your B2 from green vegetables, liver and other organ meats, and milk.
VITAMIN B3 (NIACIN)
What it does for you: Helps you metabolize carbohydrates and also oxidizes sugars.
What happens if I don’t have it? You’ll be introduced to pellagra, a perfectly charming disease that hits you with skin lesions that first look like sunburns (thanks to your skin’s increased sensitivity to light) but later become crusty and scaly. Then constipation kicks in, alternating with diarrhea—what a lovely combination—and your mouth and tongue become inflamed and sore. Having fun yet? Just you wait, because later stages of pellagra bring dementia in a variety of fun flavors, like general nervousness, confusion, depression, apathy, and the ever-popular delirium. Also, since pellagra is mostly seen these days in drug addicts and severe alcoholics, guess what your friends will be thinking you’ve been doing in your spare time.
I’m convinced. Open up for peanuts, lean meats, fish, and bran.
VITAMIN B6
What it does for you: Helps in the formation and breakdown of amino acids, the breakdown of proteins and fats, and in the synthesis of important ne
urotransmitters.
What happens if I don’t have it? Early on, you’ll be sore, irritable, and weak. Later on, you’ll experience anemia and possibly seizures. B6 deficiencies are not uncommon among chronic alcoholics—and, interestingly enough, some oral contraceptives can cause B6 deficiencies, as well.
I’m convinced. Chow down on whole-grain cereals, fish, legumes, and liver.
VITAMIN B12
What it does for you: It helps you make red blood cells and is important in digestion and the absorption of nutrients.
What happens if I don’t have it? The first thing you might notice is that something’s up with your tongue. A B12 deficiency keeps those little bumps on your tongue from forming, which means your tongue will be unusually smooth. Really kind of creepy if you think about it. More seriously, you’ll experience pernicious anemia, defective function of your intestines, and you might even experience spinal cord degeneration, which is, as you might imagine, a very bad thing. Keep this up, and a vitamin B12 deficiency will kill you right dead. Vegetarians take note. Vitamin B12 is not available in vegetables. No, not a single one. No, it’s not a conspiracy to get you to eat bacon. It’s really a true fact.
I’m convinced. Eggs, milk, liver. Vegans, take that multivitamin and try not to think too hard about where that B12 might have come from. Hey, it could come from fungus or algae.
VITAMIN C
What it does for you: Keeps your connective tissue, cartilage, and bones healthy; keeps your metabolism chugging along.
What happens if I don’t have it? Arrr, me matey! Ye’ll get scurvy, me boy! Arrr! Yes, scurvy, the scourge of sailors, who didn’t get enough fruit in their long sea voyages. (Fact: The British term limey comes from a lime juice ration provided to sailors to prevent scurvy.) Scurvy is genuinely unpleasant, with sore and bleeding gums, wobbly teeth (they’ll spring right out of yer scurvy skull, matey!), stiff joints and extremities, internal bleeding, and let’s not forget anemia, shall we? Ah, the life of a sea dog.
I’m convinced. Stock up on fresh citrus fruits, laddie! Oranges, lemons, limes, and so on. Also cabbage, bell peppers, and brussels sprouts.
VITAMIN D
What it does for you: Helps with calcium and phosphorus absorption in your body (these two compounds being essential for bones).
What happens if I don’t have it? Well, if you’re an adult, not too much. However, if your kids don’t get enough vitamin D, they’ll get rickets, in which bones soften and bend. This leads to bowed legs, knocked knees, and creepy-looking ribs, not to mention other developmental issues. As if your kids won’t already have enough problems getting through junior high.
I’m convinced. Have some fortified milk and fish liver oil. Also, get some sun. Your body uses sunlight to create vitamin D internally. Yes, this will work for your kids, too, although a cup of milk here and there for them isn’t a bad idea, either.
VITAMIN E
What it does for you: It’s believed to help your body deal with free radicals, which may fool around with cellular structure if not watched closely.
What happens if I don’t have it? You’ll get clumsy, that’s what. Vitamin E deficiency can lead to walking difficulties and inhibited reflexes, and may also cause your eye muscles to become paralyzed. How’s that for freaky?
I’m convinced. Eggs, cereals, and beef liver are all fine sources of vitamin E.
VITAMIN K
What it does for you: Helps your blood clot.
What happens if I don’t have it? Hope you like bruises, because you’ll be getting a lot of them. And naturally, any cuts or scrapes you get will bleed that much longer because your body doesn’t have what it needs to form effective clots. Stay inside. Eat all your food with a dull spoon.
I’m convinced. Leafy green vegetables are good. So is liver, which, come to think of it, seems to be the most vitamin-packed organ you can eat. If only it tasted like potato chips.
A Field Guide to Secret Societies
Are secret societies really responsible for the world’s ills, as some people believe? Probably not, but on the other hand . . .
THE ILLUMINATI
Who They Are: This group was founded in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt, a Jesuit priest, in Bavaria. His mission: to advance
the 18th-century ideals of revolution, social reform, and rational thought (the name means “the Enlightened Ones” in Latin). Weishaupt and his cronies were fiercely opposed by the monarchs of Europe and by the Catholic Church, which is why they had to meet and communicate in secret. German author Johann Goethe was a member. In the United States, both Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson were accused of being members and denied it, but both wrote favorably about Weishaupt and his efforts.
What They’re Blamed For: This group has been associated with more conspiracy theories than any other. Considered the silent evil behind such paranoid bugaboos as One World Government and the New World Order, the Illuminati have been blamed for starting the French and Russian revolutions, as well as both world wars, and almost every global conflict in between. They are said to use bribery, blackmail, and murder to infiltrate every level of power in society—business, banking, and government—to achieve their ultimate goal: world domination.
BILDERBERG GROUP
Who They Are: Founded in 1952 by Prince Bernhard of Netherlands, the Bilderberg Group (named after the hotel in Oosterbeck, Holland, where the first meeting was held) was founded to promote cooperation and understanding between Western Europe and North America. To that end, leaders from both regions are invited to meet every year for off-the-record discussions on current issues. The list of attendees has included presidents (every one from Eisenhower to Clinton), British prime ministers (Lord Home, Lord Callaghan, Sir Edward Heath, Margaret Thatcher), captains of industry like Fiat’s Giovanni Agnelli, and financiers like David Rockefeller. Invitees are members of the power elite in their countries, mostly rich and male. Meetings are closed. No resolutions are passed, no votes are taken, and no public statements are ever made.
What They’re Blamed For: The fact that so many of the world’s most powerful players refuse to disclose anything about the group’s meetings strikes many outsiders as downright subversive. What are they doing? The group has been accused of handpicking Western leaders to be their puppets, pointing to circumstantial evidence like the fact that Bill Clinton was invited to attend a meeting before he became president, as was Britain’s Tony Blair before he became prime minister. Conspiracy buffs have even accused the Bilderbergers of masterminding the global AIDS epidemic as a way of controlling world population to the benefit of the European/American elite.
SKULL & BONES SOCIETY
Who They Are: This society was founded at Yale University in 1833. Only 15 senior-year students are admitted annually; they meet twice a week in a grim, windowless building called the Tombs. Unlike most campus fraternities, Skull & Bones appears to focus on positioning its members for success after college. But no one knows for sure, because members are sworn to total secrecy for life. The names of past and current members include many of America’s power elite: both George Bushes, William Howard Taft, as well as the descendants of such famous American families as the Pillsburys, Weyerhausers, Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, and Whitneys.
What They’re Blamed For: What’s wrong with a little good ol’ boy networking? Nothing, perhaps, but Skull & Bones members have also been accused of practicing satanic rites within the walls of the Tombs. Initiation reportedly requires pledges to lie down in coffins, confess sordid details of their sex lives, and endure painful torture so that he may “die to the world, to be born again into the Order.” Like the Illuminati, the Order (as it’s called by its members) supposedly works to create a world controlled and ruled by the elite—members of Skull & Bones.
TRILATERAL COMMISSION
Who They Are: Founded in 1973 by David Rockefeller and former National Security Council chief Zbigniew Brzezinski, this organization is composed of 350 prominent private citizens (none currently h
old government positions) from Europe, North America, and Japan (the trilateral global power triangle). Like the Bilderberg Group, their stated goal is to discuss global issues and to promote understanding and cooperation. Unlike other groups, this one is more visible: it publishes reports, and members are identified. It’s also more diverse, with women and ethnic groups represented. However, membership is by invitation only, usually on the recommendation of serving members, making it one of the most exclusive private clubs in the world. There are no representatives from developing nations.
What They’re Blamed For: Many conspiracy theorists view the Trilateral Commission as the “sunny” face of the evil machinations of international bankers and business moguls who are working to make the world their own little oyster, with one financial system, one defense system, one government, and one religion—which they will control. Again, all members are major players in business and government. Americans of note include Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Henry Kissinger, and George Bush (the elder), former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker, former Speaker of the House Tom Foley, and former U.S. Trade Representative Carla Hills, to name a few. Since there is considerable crossover between the Trilateral Commission and the Bilderberg Group, the commission is thought by some to be under the control of the Illuminati. That it is completely private, with no direct role in government (read “no accountability”), only adds fuel to the fires of suspicious minds.
BOHEMIAN GROVE
Who They Are: Founded in 1872 by five San Francisco Examiner newsmen as a social boozing club, the Bohemian Grove has been called “one of the world’s most prestigious summer camps” by Newsweek. Prospective members may wait up to 15 years to get in and then have to pony up a $2,500 membership fee. The grove itself is a 2,700-acre retreat set deep in a California redwood forest. Members’ privacy is zealously guarded: no strangers are allowed near the site, and reporters are expressly forbidden entry. The Bohemian Grove motto is from Shakespeare: “Weaving spiders come not here,” a reminder that all deal making is to be left at the gates. The members relax and entertain each other by putting on plays, lecturing on subjects of the day, and wining and dining lavishly.