Poor Little Dead Girls

by Lizzie Friend

  “You’re going to tell me you don’t want this? Every girl at Keating wants it, whether she knows it yet or not.”

  She put her palms flat against his chest and pushed as hard as she could. He tipped backward and stumbled against one of the couches, finally collapsing onto the cushions.

  “Fuck, Sadie.” He struggled to right himself, and the stupid grin was already spreading back across his face. “I just wanted a little preview.” His eyes traveled up and down her body, and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “Can’t wait to see what’s under that dress.”

  She shoved him again, and he fell back on the cushions. “Try that again and all you’ll be seeing is the tip of my kneecap in your Cranston family jewels.” As she stormed out of the bathroom, she could hear him bellowing with laughter, still sprawled on the love seat with one leg hanging off the side. Outside the door, she paused and leaned against the wall, gulping in deep, ragged breaths. She forced herself to unclench her fists and ran a hand carefully over her hair.

  “Hey, there you are. I was starting to think you decided to ditch me for one of the football players.” Jeremy jerked his head toward a bunch of hulking Graff guys gathered around a nearby table. They had stripped down to their tuxedo vests, adding their shirts to the growing pile of jackets. He rolled his eyes and muttered, “Meatheads.”

  Sadie forced herself to smile. “Nope, I was going to go to the bathroom, but it was, um, occupied.” She pointed at the door as it opened and Finn staggered out.

  Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “I heard he was a bad drunk, but jeez.” They both watched as Finn made his way across the dance floor, Thayer marching after him, her fading smile looking increasingly forced.

  “Hey, want to go upstairs? I have a surprise for you.” He put a hand around her waist and pulled her toward him.

  And there it was. His inner frog jumping out and ribbiting all over everything.

  “Upstairs?” She narrowed her eyes and stepped back out of his grasp. She could feel the anger bubbling back up in her throat, and her hands curled back into tight fists.

  “Wait — what’s wrong? I just meant we could see the view.”

  “The view? Does that line seriously work?” It came out louder than she meant it to, and the meatheads were starting to stare.

  He opened his hands, palms facing her. “Hold on, Sadie. Back up. What’s wrong?”

  “You just asked me to go upstairs … at a hotel. On our first date, or whatever this is.”

  He held her stare for a second, then burst out laughing. His whole body shook with the force of it, and she could feel her anger sublimating into rage.

  That was it. As he laughed, she saw Finn’s wide, stupid grin and felt his hot, beer-sour breath on her face. She could still feel his hand greedily pawing at her leg, trying to burrow its way under the fabric. She was just a joke to them.

  “You know what, screw you.” She turned on her shaky heel and stomped toward the door. She needed a coatroom, a hallway, anywhere she could shut herself in a corner and let the disappointment wash over her.

  She was just steps outside the ballroom when he caught up. He touched her arm. She stopped but she didn’t turn around.

  “What,” she spat, pulling her arm away.

  “Sadie, I’m really sorry. I swear, for whatever reason, I just keep doing really dumb things around you — startling you, or saying the wrong thing, or insulting you by accident.”

  Reluctantly, she turned to face him. He ran a hand through his hair and fiddled with one of his cufflinks. He wasn’t laughing anymore.

  “When I said I wanted to go upstairs, I meant I wanted to go up to the rooftop terrace. It’s kind of a Hay-Adams thing — at least, that’s what Josh told me. He said you would really like it. It’s supposed to be pretty, and you can see the White House.”

  His voice was a little desperate, almost pleading, and as she looked into his eyes, something clicked. The room started to spin as she realized her mistake, and she would have punched herself in the face if she thought she could get enough momentum to actually do some damage. Thayer was constantly talking about her wedding — how amazing her dress would be and how Finn would propose. Whenever she talked about it, it always, always happened on the Hay-Adams rooftop. She had some elaborate plan for exactly how Finn would lure her there, how he would surprise her by covering the roof in a blanket of white roses, and how he would propose with a four-carat Harry Winston canary diamond with a platinum band.

  Jeremy was looking at her — a little panicked, a little amused, mostly nervous. He was leaning slightly away from her and flinching, like he expected her to kick him in the shin.

  Instead, she smiled.

  She didn’t know what to say, and instead just blurted out the first thing that came into her head. “I just don’t want to have sex with you … ” she trailed off, eyes widening. “I mean, I do just … hypothetically, at some point — oh, god.” She gave up, and they both burst out laughing.

  “So, now that we’ve covered that … want to go to the roof?” He offered her an elbow and she took it, letting him lead her back to the elevator.

  To his credit, the view was beautiful. The city lay spread out beneath them, and the White House glowed under a dusting of new snow. She leaned on the railing and turned to face him. “I’m really sorry about that.” She turned and looked out over the city. “I have no idea why I reacted like that, I’m just always so worried that people here don’t take me seriously — like I’m this trashy skank from the middle of nowhere who doesn’t belong. And then I couldn’t figure out why you would even want to go with me — I mean, I’m sure you could have asked anyone — and then you said that thing about going upstairs and I just freaked out.” He leaned his elbows on the railing and looked thoughtful.

  “A trashy skank, huh?”

  She laughed. It sounded so ridiculous now. He turned to face her, and she looked up, shivering slightly as a single snowflake landed on her bare shoulder. He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over her, then let his hands slide down the sides of the coat and settle on her lower back. Her throat immediately went dry.

  “Look Sadie, I like you. And I don’t think you’re a trashy skank; I think you’re cool. You’re funny, and you don’t try to be anything you’re not. All these people, they’re always trying to convince you of something — that they’re richer than everyone else, or that their family has more influence, or that they’re happy all the time. Sometimes I just want to cut the power, you know, shut everyone off. But there’s no on/off switch. That’s just who they are. And in the middle of all that noise, you’re just you.”

  She swallowed. “I like you, too.”

  He stared back and inside her head she was yelling at him to kiss her. Another snowflake drifted down and settled on Jeremy’s eyebrow, and she watched as it melted and disappeared. Instead, he spoke.

  “Tomorrow — you guys can leave campus if you want on weekends, right?”

  She nodded.

  “Go out with me? On a real date — you know, where we wear normal clothes and do something trashy like eat pizza and see a movie about aliens.”

  She smiled. “Absolutely.”

  He exhaled and ran his palms up and down the outsides of her arms. “I know you must be freezing, and that was the end of my big speech, so … do you want to go back inside?”

  He took a step away toward the door and reached a hand back for her. She glanced at it, hesitated for a moment, and then her instincts took over. She grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward her until their bodies collided. She wrapped her arms around his neck, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him. His lips were warm and smooth, and she felt his arms immediately circle her waist. His breath was hot. Before she could stop herself, she leaned into him and felt his body press back against hers.

  After what felt like hours, he finally pulled back, a huge grin plastered on his face.

  “Okay, so that was kinda trashy.”

  She punched him in the
arm. “Oh, whatever. You couldn’t pull the trigger, so I did.” She grinned. Subconsciously she licked her lips, and he laughed.

  “That good, huh?”

  She shrugged happily. “You taste like cinnamon.” She reached up and pecked him again, then grabbed his arm and dragged him back toward the elevator.

  Chapter 16

  The limo dropped the boys off first, then made the short trip back to Keating. Jessica was imitating Finn’s drunk dance moves, and Grace and Brett were laughing hysterically, but Sadie was so distracted she had to remind herself to laugh and nod at all the right times.

  When they pulled through the gates, the campus was dark and quiet. They piled out of the limo and picked their way through the slush, squealing as the cold seeped into their shoes and ran between their toes. At the top of Ashby’s steps, Brett glanced back at Sadie.

  “Hey, did you forget your purse?”

  “Oh crap — must have left it in the limo.”

  They all hesitated, shivering, in the doorway.

  “You guys go ahead.” Sadie shooed them inside. “I’ll meet you upstairs.”

  She turned and ran back toward the car, her skirt bundled around her knees. She tapped the limo on the trunk just as the driver started to pull away, then crawled back inside and felt around the carpeted floor with her hands.

  “Where is that damn thing?” she mumbled. It was Gwen’s, and she figured chances were pretty good it wasn’t something she could replace. Finally, she felt her fingers close around the satin clutch, and she started to back out of the limo on all fours.

  She had one foot on the ground when she felt the hood slide down over her head. Someone shoved her from behind, sending her sprawling face first across the leather seats. She heard the door slam as someone climbed in after her, and the engine purred as the limo pulled away.

  “What the hell, guys. Again?” Sadie struggled to right herself, pulling the fabric of her dress down over her knees. “Is this seriously necessary?”

  The limo was quiet.

  She sighed and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “You could have just texted me like a normal person. You don’t have to kidnap me every time you want me to go somewhere.”

  Still nothing.

  “Okay, fine. Don’t say anything.” She reached back and fiddled with the knot at her neck until two hands closed down on her wrists.

  “This is just how we do things.”

  This time the angry hiss was gone, and he sounded perfectly calm.

  “Fine. But if you try to strangle me again, I’ll kick your ass.”

  She heard a low chuckle.

  “We have to scare you. That’s the fun part.”

  The car slowed and stopped.

  “So what now?”

  “Now,” the voice said slowly, “we make you one of us.”

  The car door opened and she was passed from one pair of hands to the next as they led her down a flight of steep stairs and through a doorway. The air was cold, and she thought she could hear the rumbling of the ocean.

  She heard the creak of another door opening, and a voice told her to sit down. She sank back onto surprisingly soft cushions. The door closed.

  She listened, but the room was still. After a minute, she reached up and untied the hood. She pulled it off and blinked into the darkness.

  “Boo.”

  The lights flickered on, and she saw Thayer sitting across from her on a white love seat, her legs delicately crossed and a glass of champagne in one hand. She had changed out of her massive gown and was now dressed simply in a white linen shift. Her hair was down, and it fell around her shoulders in waves. Sadie looked around.

  They were in the center of a small, white room. There was a large armoire behind her, and on the other side of the room was a big three-way mirror. In front of her was a small glass coffee table, on which sat a bottle of expensive champagne and an empty flute.

  Thayer leaned forward and filled the glass. She held it out to Sadie.

  Sadie shook her head. “Look, are you finally going to tell me what this is? Some kind of club or something? I’m tired of not knowing what’s going on.”

  “Relax, Portland. Champagne first, then I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

  Sadie took the glass and sipped.

  “So basically,” — Thayer leaned forward and lowered her voice — “everything you’ve heard is true. The rumors about us, all the power we have, it’s all real.”

  Sadie looked at her, her face blank. “Okay, what?”

  Thayer sighed. “You’ve never heard the rumors? God you really are small town, aren’t you? I told them this was a mistake.”

  Sadie leaned back against the cushions and took another sip. “Fuck off.”

  Thayer cleared her throat and stretched her lips into a tight smile.

  “Fine, sorry.” She smoothed out the skirt of her dress with one bony hand. “Here’s what you need to know. We,” — she motioned around the room, as if it were filled with people — “are the Order of Optimates. Technically I guess we’re a secret society, but we don’t like to call it that anymore. Skull and Bones ruined that for everybody, and we’re not a bunch of lame frat guys sitting around making up secret handshakes, you know? We matter. We have a plan.”

  She paused for dramatic effect, and Sadie threw back another gulp of champagne.

  “Really? You’re still pretending you’re not impressed? Sadie, our members are everywhere. We’re Wall Street CEOs, Supreme Court Justices. We’re the founders of Omnitech and Rothschild Industries — even Britton Cunningham, that kid who practically invented the Internet. We’re everywhere, Sadie, and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

  Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were glassy and wide. “We own this country, and we’re about to make you one of us.”

  “So, you’re a bunch of spoiled rich kids throwing your power around? I thought the point was to help people.”

  Thayer looked exasperated. “Of course. You saw the hospital, and that’s only the beginning. We fund lots of projects. Last year our inner-city literacy program taught hundreds of kids how to read, and we’ve donated millions through various charities.” Thayer looked anguished. “Do you know how bad it is out there? People are getting poorer and sicker and less educated, and no one’s stepping up to help.” She settled back in her chair, her features smoothing out like ripples in a pond. “We’re stepping up. That’s the main goal — we’re trying to make the world a better place. And in the meantime, we get to do some seriously cool shit.”

  Sadie cocked an eyebrow. “Like what?”

  Thayer grinned. “Whatever you can think of. We’re American royalty, Sadie. There are no limits.”

  “Okay, but that’s just it. Why me? I’m not like you — I’m not rich. My dad’s no one. I’m not even on the freaking honor roll.”

  Thayer shrugged, but Sadie saw the corner of her mouth curve up in a smirk. “We don’t make the decisions. The Sullas are based here, at Graff, but that’s only the beginning. Our network goes way beyond this campus — all the best prep schools are used for recruiting, and we have members all over the country.

  “The older members have the real power. The real Order is, like, decades of the richest and most powerful people in the world. They make the selections — sometimes a few kids a year, sometimes no one — and they’re always inducted in pairs. Sometimes they’re heirs from powerful families,” — she laid a hand delicately on her chest — “like me. Sometimes they’re geniuses or talented athletes who they think will make something of themselves. And sometimes they’re legacies, like you. They choose whoever can strengthen the Order the most, whoever can carry on the tradition and help make them even more powerful than they already are.”

  Sadie leaned forward. “My mom. She was really a member?”

  Thayer nodded. “She was inducted in ’87. And honestly, it’s not that surprising. Like they could resist inducting a Ralleigh. Not for prestige, obviously, but their fortune
alone made it worth it.”

  Sadie frowned. “What do you mean, a Ralleigh?”

  Thayer arched one thin eyebrow. “You’re joking, right?”

  Sadie sighed. “What now?”

  “Your mom’s maiden name was Ralleigh — ”

  Sadie shook her head. “It was Anderson — ”

  “As in, Pennsylvania Ralleighs.”

  When Sadie didn’t react, she threw up her hands.

  “They own the largest diamond mining company in the world, Sadie. They basically own half of Africa. Your mom was one of only two heirs — how can you not know that?”

  Sadie’s mind raced. Her dad had told Sadie her mother had cut ties with her family sometime after high school. He had always said she didn’t have any grandparents on her mom’s side, but Sadie had always just assumed that meant they were deadbeat alcoholics or something.

  Sadie shook her head. “We don’t talk about her much anymore.” Her voice came out small and hollow.

  Thayer’s face softened. “Look Sadie, this is what she would have wanted for you — to follow in her footsteps.” She leaned forward. “I know I haven’t been that nice to you, but I just fucking hate new girls. Especially hot new girls who happen to play the same position I do. You came in here so cocky, with your slutty British roommates and your sad little scholarship and your fancy borrowed clothes. You didn’t know your place.” She grinned. “But now you don’t need to. We know who you really are, and your place is here, with us.” She spread her arms and smiled wider.

  “Those idiots who follow me around every day, Charlotte and the rest of them — they’re nothing. I won’t even talk to them after graduation. The Sullas are my real friends — my real family — and we’ll be there for each other for life.”

  Thayer sat back, finally satisfied. “So what do you think? Are you ready to do this?”

  Sadie took a deep breath. “I don’t know … I mean, why? What’s the point?” She thought of the picture on her desk, her mom in yellow, smiling and laughing. She wondered if she had been that happy here as one of them. She looked down in her lap, and her gaze lingered on the slight shadow of a bruise that still spread across her inner elbow.