Love Me Always

by Marie Higgins

  “No, probably not.”

  “So, nephew? What do you think of Catherine now that you know her better?”

  Nick arched an eyebrow. “Who says I know her better?”

  “Well, you did spend time with her on the trip, did you not?”

  Nick walked to the small table and poured him some tea. He gulped the contents back. As the liquid slid down his throat, he squeezed his eyes close. Indeed, he got to know her better, which made things worse.

  He shrugged. “She was in the coach, I was on my horse. We may have visited briefly during our meals, but that was all.”

  “True, but since I know my nephew, I know you kept a close eye on her, trying to discover her faults. Am I correct?”

  Nick chuckled and walked closer to the fire. “Yes. I watched her to see if she had any faults, but regretfully I report she has none. Gregg and Ian found her charming and irresistible. They are the two who got to know her well, and I’m certain they will praise her highly.”

  Grant laughed. “They already have. So if you didn’t find any faults with her, why do you still disapprove?”

  Nick blew out an aggravated breath and turned toward his uncle. “Because she’s only nineteen, and because...you are dying.” He hated to be blunt, but he had no other choice. He needed to make his relative see how insane it was for him to marry.

  Grant nodded as his gaze left Nick and rested on the small fire. “Yes, I’m dying, but do I have to be miserable until that day arrives? Catherine will make me happy. She already has. Can’t you see how happy I am?”

  “Yes, but I think it’s rather selfish of you not to think about her needs. She’ll be miserable if she’s forced to remain home and take care of a dying husband. I think she would rather attend balls and tea parties and shopping trips into town instead of staying home playing nursemaid.”

  Grant sat in silence for a long time. Usually, this was the way his uncle ended a conversation, but as Nick turned to leave, his relative cleared his throat.

  “You are correct, Nick. I cannot deprive her of the parties and outings and social events. I have no idea how much longer I have to live, and it’s not fair of me to keep her as a nursemaid all that time.” He turned and looked at Nick. “So, during the day she can be with me and tend to my needs if she wishes, but at night she can be escorted to balls and functions by you.”

  Nick gasped. “Me? Why me?” His voice rose as his heart hammered with uncertainty. “I will not play the part of her nanny.”

  Grant flipped his hand through the air. “Once again, you are being over dramatic, because you know she doesn’t need a nanny. Besides, you enjoy attending those kinds of functions with beautiful women, and so you will take her with you when you go. Gregg and Ian can have their turns, as well. I’m certain they will love it, but since you are the oldest – and next to inherit the dukedom – you have more responsibility. She will be a joy to have around, just wait and see.”

  Grant stood, and with help from his cane, slowly made his way toward the door. Obviously, his uncle wanted the conversation ended. Nick clenched his jaw. Not this time. He would add his last thoughts before his uncle left.

  “But, Uncle Grant, how—”

  “Enough!” Still keeping his eyes toward the hallway, Grant stiffened but shifted his head and glanced at Nick. “You will follow my wishes, Nick. There will be no more talk of this. What’s done is done,” Grant snapped then proceeded out the door.

  A blaze of fury ignited in Nick’s chest the longer his uncle’s echoing footsteps boomed in the hallway. Why had Grant put this kind of responsibility on Nick’s shoulders? Catherine wasn’t going to be his wife.

  Nick grumbled irritably and threw his empty teacup into the fireplace, shattering it into a million pieces.

  His life was cursed!

  * * * *

  A tear slipped down Catherine’s cheek as she studied her reflection in the full-length mirror at the gown Grant had purchased for her. The ice blue silk molded nicely to her bosom and shoulders. A full, high-waist skirt fell in soft folds to a small train in the back. Wearing such a dress in front of others scared her to death, but she worried more about seeing Grant’s expression. Would her stomach churn if his face held traces of interest when he gazed upon her?

  Emily curled Catherine’s hair in loose ringlets around her head, and then threaded a blue ribbon throughout. The color of the ribbon enhanced Catherine’s auburn curls. She liked the way it made her look. For the first time, Catherine felt like a woman instead of a girl trying to resemble a woman.

  Taking a deep breath, she prayed her nervous stomach wouldn’t be a problem during the evening’s events. How embarrassing would it be if her ailment showed itself to the guests soon to arrive tonight? She hoped her weak knees would stay strong and keep her from crumbling.

  What worried her more was the inevitable kiss – the kiss to seal their betrothal announcement. She squeezed her eyes closed. Please do not kiss me tonight, Grant.

  She must keep in mind what Nick had told her earlier this afternoon – that Grant was a kind man. If she explained her fears to him, he’d understand.

  While in Nick’s arms earlier today, comfort had actually spread through every part of her. His soft voice and tender caress had helped her to relax. Perhaps she shouldn’t have enjoyed those feelings. He was, after all, to be her step-nephew. She shook her head. How could she think like that when he was so much older? The years between them weren’t many. Ian was twenty-three, Gregg was twenty-five, and Nicholas, twenty-six. Nevertheless, she shouldn’t be seeking comfort in his arms, not when that was supposed to be Grant’s responsibility.

  Her heart sank. The weeks would pass quickly before she married. How was she going to be able to hold up and remain strong if her heart wasn’t in it?

  The knock on her bedroom door made her jump back to awareness. “Yes?” her voice squeaked.

  “Catherine? It is I, Gregg. Uncle Grant sent me to see if you were ready.”

  “Yes, Gregg. I’m ready.” From the adjoining room where she’d previously bathed, Emily hurried in, giving Catherine a curious look. “Let him in,” she instructed her maid.

  Smoothing her hands down her silk gown, she waited while Emily opened the door. When Gregg walked in and looked at her, his face softened and his eyes twinkled.

  “Catherine, you are stunning.” His gaze traveled down her before bouncing back up to meet her eyes.

  Her cheeks warmed. “Thank you, Gregg.”

  “Come.” He held out his arm. “Let us go down and let my uncle and brothers partake of your loveliness.”

  She took his arm and walked with him down the magnificent staircase. Mrs. Berkley hurried out of her room and followed not far behind. Grant, Nick, and Ian waited at the bottom, all eyes turned upward. Because of Grant’s squinted gaze, she supposed he couldn’t see her yet, but his nephews could. Ian’s jaw dropped as his focus ran up and down her length. She wanted to giggle from his reaction.

  It was Nick’s gaze that nearly shattered her defenses. His face softened the longer he swept his eyes over her – from the top of her ringlet-styled hair to the tips of her ice blue satin-heeled slippers. It wasn’t the fact he admired her that was rattling, but the way he did it. His expression was similar to when she’d seen him smile at the serving woman yesterday, yet now it his gaze was more intent. The realization made her heart pound and her legs weaken.

  Finally, she stood in front of Grant, his eyes clearer now. His gaze ran over her, and instead of making her feel warm and tingly like Nick had, her skin crawled.

  “Catherine, my darling. You’re such a vision of beauty,” Grant told her as he took her trembling hands. “I’m going to be the envy of every man in attendance this evening.”

  It took all her effort to smile, and her voice refused to work.

  His gaze strayed to her bare neck. “There’s something missing, though. You look a little cold.”

  He let go of her hands and reached in the pocket of his ove
r jacket, pulling out a long black, velvet box. When he opened it, she gasped with surprise. A pearl and diamond necklace and matching earbobs lay inside against black velvet.

  “I think these will warm you this evening,” Grant said.

  She’d never seen anything so extravagant in her life, and the sight of them temporarily made her forget her unease. “Oh, Grant…you should not have done this.”

  He chuckled. “I insist. I’ll not take no for an answer.”

  With her gloved fingers, she tenderly touched the necklace. “Oh, Grant, this is so unexpected...and they are so lovely. Thank you.”

  Grant turned to Nick. “My dear nephew, will you do me the honor of placing this around her neck? I fear the clasp is too small for my eyes to see.”

  “Certainly.”

  Nick picked up the necklace and stepped behind her, circling it around her neck. The warmth from his unsteady hands seared her skin, and she inhaled sharply. His hot breath caressed her neck and sent chills down her spine. After he was done, he stepped back. She turned, and with shaky hands, reached for the earbobs and placed them on her earlobes.

  “There,” Grant said, “your perfection is complete.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Panic suffocated her, and she wanted to press her palms against his chest to stop him, but he soon pulled away, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She prayed this was all the affection he’d show her tonight.

  Grant turned to his nephews. “Boys? Why don’t you give Catherine a little show of affection, since she’s practically part of the family.” He looked back at her. “As long as you approve, my dear.”

  She laughed lightly, not knowing what the appropriate answer should be. Was it proper? It must be, since Grant instigated the idea and Mrs. Berkley had yet to object. She shrugged. “I suppose that is permissible.”

  Ian was the first to give Catherine a hug, and then he placed a small kiss on her cheek. “Welcome to the family,” he cheered.

  Gregg was up next, giving her a hug, then while she was still in his arms, he too, kissed her cheek. Catherine chuckled over this encounter, also.

  All sense of buoyancy disappeared when Nick stepped up. Instead of being fun and playful like his brothers, Nick appeared solemn, his eyes gleaming with the same look he had as he watched her come down the stairs earlier.

  Her heart lodged in her throat as he circled his arms around her waist, holding her close for a hug. The embrace seemed to last a little longer than Gregg or Ian’s. Nick’s hands pressed lower on her back where his brothers hadn’t touched, and a strange thrill shot through her. He drew back just enough to bend his head and place his tender lips to her cheek. It wasn’t in the same spot his brothers had kissed. It was closer to her mouth.

  Fireworks exploded inside her head. Closing her eyes, she melted against him, clinging to his broad shoulders. This kiss was far different from what Gregg or Ian had given.

  Catherine was the one to pull away. A blush crept up her neck to her face as she stared into Nick’s eyes. At first, happiness lightened his gaze, then his face changed to a look of confusion, and seconds later his whole expression switched once again to indifference as he stepped back.

  She quickly glanced at Nick’s brothers, then to Grant, but they seemed unaware that the earth had moved for her. Nick’s kiss was probably very brief, but for her, it seemed to last forever.

  Grant cleared his throat. “Shall we go now and start receiving our guests?” He held his arm for her to take.

  Hesitantly, she placed her hand on his arm and allowed him to lead her to the ballroom.

  What had just happened? And why had she liked it so much and looked forward to the time she could experience this again?

  Chapter Four

  As each hour passed, a whirlwind of confusion swam in Catherine’s head. She met and chatted with more people than she cared to remember. Scores of men gallantly asked for a dance during the night. Women chatted nonstop about luncheons, which created a slow ache in her skull. After a while, their names became a blur.

  Hordes of people stood in line to meet her, Grant’s older spinster sister, Miss Gertrude, one of them. The withered, gray haired woman would be staying with them for an extended visit until the wedding. It was only proper to have another woman in the house besides Mrs. Berkley.

  Catherine smiled politely at Grant’s sister, yet dread washed over her. How could she possibly keep the older woman entertained? It was obvious she couldn’t hear very well. Catherine had to repeat herself several times, each time raising her voice a notch.

  When she received a break from the guests, she moved to the buffet table. More food than she’d ever seen was piled atop the tables, yet her stomach didn’t want nourishment at this time. The orchestra playing astounded her, and everything left her feeling dazed as if she were floating above watching the activities.

  Or was it Nick’s kiss that made her feel this way?

  Gregg and Ian had asked her to dance. Being fun and playful, they helped her relax. Thankfully, Nick hadn’t asked her. She didn’t know how she’d react to being in his arms again. Grant would probably not dance with her because of his weakened state. The party had sapped his strength, and he remained in his chair as the night progressed. His eyelids drooped and suddenly she wished he’d not gone all out for her. Would it be impolite to tell his guests to leave so he could rest?

  Out of the corner of her eyes, Grant struggled to stand, and when he gained his balance, he clinked a spoon against his champagne glass. Beside him, Nick motioned for her to come over. Her stomach twisted. Would Grant announce their betrothal so soon – and without her permission? Clutching her trembling hands against her stomach, she breathed deeply.

  She willed her knees not to buckle and her stomach to keep from rolling. No matter what happened, she couldn’t embarrass herself or Grant’s family tonight. She pasted on a smile and gazed up at Grant.

  The room grew silent.

  “Friends, thank you for coming tonight,” Grant began. “I have waited a few years for this day to arrive, and now that it’s here, I feel rather anxious. Tonight I want to introduce you to the daughter of my very good friends, Colonel Henry Martin and his wife, the late Sophia. I’m certain many of you have heard of the colonel’s past exploits on the battlefield and his heroism.” Grant looked down at her. “Nevertheless, tonight I’m launching Colonel Martin’s daughter, Miss Catherine, into society.”

  Cheers echoed through the room as champagne glasses were raised in the air. Grant squeezed her hand then bent his head to hers. She panicked once again, but he only brushed a kiss on her cheek.

  Relief swept through her that he didn’t announce their betrothal. How much longer did she have to suffer, waiting for that moment? Hopefully, he’d give her time to get to know him better.

  The same people she’d been introduced to earlier came up and congratulated Catherine. Keeping her smile from wavering, she stood patiently and shook hands with Grant’s guests, knowing she’d not remember one soul tomorrow.

  During one of the breaks when the guests weren’t accosting her, she looked down at Grant, who’d taken to his chair again. “Grant? You don’t look well.” She laid her hand against his cheek. “Do you need to go to your room and rest?”

  Grant gazed up into her face as his unsteady hand closed over hers. “No, my dear,” he wheezed. “Truly, I’m fine. Do you like your party?”

  She smiled. “Yes, very much.”

  “You dance well.”

  She widened her smile. “I think it’s because I’ve had such great dance partners.”

  “Oh, my sweet.” He sighed as his hand dropped to his lap. “How I wish I was strong enough to dance with you. I used to be a superb dancer in my younger days.”

  “I’m certain you were. If your nephews learned anything from you, that would explain their ability to make me look so good on the dance floor.”

  He laughed weakly. “Would you like to dance again?”

  “Oh, no, Grant. You are mu
ch too weak, so I shall stay by your side.”

  “I know, my dear, but a beautiful woman like you should be out on the dance floor, and so you will.” He turned and called out Nick’s name.

  Her heart plummeted. When Nick’s head snapped her way, her heart jumped then thumped in a faster rhythm.

  Nick stepped away from the flock of women surrounding him. “Yes?”

  “Nick, my beautiful Catherine needs to dance with a strong man. Will you do me the honor of dancing with her?”

  “I would be delighted.”

  As she placed her hand on his arm and followed him to the dance floor, her breathing quickened. So far this evening, she’d held herself together quite well, but now her good fortune was about to end.

  * * * *

  Nick breathed slower. He didn’t want to appear as if his heart were going to leap right out of his chest. The orchestra began playing a waltz, so he took her in his arms and gracefully swept her around the floor.

  It’s happening again. Her nearness made him long for what he never could have. She looked so lovely tonight. The softness of the gown’s material made her skin like cream, and her huge eyes appeared even bigger. Her dark brown hair even shimmered in the candle light. He couldn’t tear his gaze from her. She, on the other hand, didn’t meet his eyes, and suddenly, he wanted her attention on him and couldn’t wait a moment longer.