Love Me Always

by Marie Higgins

  Catherine’s brow creased. “How did you hear that?”

  “One of my servants is related to yours, and she mentioned it to my maid. It’s just horrid that he would have an episode this soon after your coming out ball.”

  “Yes, well, his health is improving.”

  “It’s just so sad,” Lady Ruthaford went on. “He waited all these years, and now his heart goes and gives out on him.”

  “Yes, well—”

  “But you, my dear, must be quite relieved,” the older woman continued. “I mean, you are very young and have your whole life ahead.”

  Catherine’s mouth grew tight. “What are you implying?”

  Lady Ruthaford waved her hand through the air. “Most of the ton knows he’s enamored with you, my dear. There is no reason for you to keep it a secret. It will only be a matter of time before your betrothal is announced.” She chuckled. “And when His Grace finally leaves this world, you will be set for the rest of your life. You are one fortunate woman, Miss Martin. Most wives have to live with their husbands a few years before the men meet their maker, but you might only have to tolerate him for a few months.”

  Catherine’s eyes widened. Even her hands bunched into fists at her side. Red blotches appeared on her cheeks. “Lady Ruthaford,” Catherine began, her voice stern, looking straight into the other woman’s the eyes. “For one thing, it’s none of your business what kind of relationship I may or may not have with the Duke of Ashton. I will have you know he is a kind and gracious man, and if he has ten more years left, I may consider myself most fortunate to have known him that long.”

  Catherine paused, but only long enough to take a deep breath. “Now, Lady Ruthaford, I hope I will not hear any more rumors about me or His Grace from you or any other ladies of the ton.”

  A smile bracketed Catherine’s mouth as if nothing happened. “Have a pleasant day and I hope we meet again very soon.” She turned, her manner graceful, and with her back straight and her head held high, she walked away from the old lady toward the hat racks where Aunt Gertrude stood.

  Relief poured through Nick and pride burst in his chest. Catherine had actually stood up to society’s notorious gossipmonger. In all of his life, nobody had ever told old hatchet face Ruthaford to mind her own business. He grinned, and his respect for Catherine grew.

  Lady Ruthaford whipped around, and with a red-face scowl, hurried out of the shop. Probably out to spread more gossip.

  He waited until the haughty woman’s carriage passed by the shop’s window before he sneaked outside. Leaning against the brick wall, he waited. Within seconds, Catherine walked out and to the coach, but instead of climbing in, she stood still as if in a daze.

  He stepped behind her. “Well done, Miss Martin,” he said softly over her shoulder.

  She jumped, swung around and faced him. Her cheeks turned a bright pink and she brought her hand to her throat. “Well done? For what?”

  Her eyes seemed bluer out here in the sunlight, and he was certain her white bonnet helped to lighten her face as well. Nick smiled and nodded. “For putting that old hag in her place and sticking up for my uncle.”

  “You...heard?”

  He chuckled. “Oh yes, and it’s a shame Grant wasn’t here to hear it also.”

  “Well, I – I—”

  “No need to explain. I know why you did it. You love him.”

  * * * *

  Catherine folded her hands against her fluttering stomach. Her heart didn’t beat out of control because of the encounter with old lady what’s-her-name, it was from the tenderness displayed on Nick’s face. His eyes were a softer blue and his face more relaxed than she’d ever seen.

  She nodded. “I have loved him as my parents’ friend and confidant for so long, it’s hard to stop.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  There was silence for a few minutes as they just stood staring at each other. Her heart lodged in her throat, making it difficult to breathe. His eyes softened the longer his gaze held hers.

  Catherine cleared her throat. “What are you doing here? Is it time to leave?”

  He smiled. “No. I thought you might be hungry and enjoy having lunch with me.”

  Her smile widened. “Indeed. I would.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Miss Gertrude should be here shortly. She was detained.”

  “Yes, I’m certain she was.”

  Awkward silence stretched between them and he shifted. Her gaze bounced around everywhere but on him, not daring to say anything for fear he’d become upset like he had last night. When he cleared his throat, she met his gaze – now laced with kindness.

  “Catherine, I must apologize for what I said last night.”

  Shock spread through her and words were lost to her. She couldn’t possibly be hearing him correctly. She swallowed hard, hoping her head would clear so she could think of something to say.

  “I realized today,” he continued, “that I had reacted badly to what happened to my uncle and blamed you when I should not have. Will you please forgive me for being so rude and inconsiderate?”

  Her heart melted from his heart-felt confession. Knowing Nick the way she did, she suspected it was hard for him to speak those words. She smiled. “Of course, Nick. I thank you for apologizing.”

  He stepped to the coach and opened the door. Holding out his hand, he asked, “May I help you inside now?”

  Softness rested around her heart and she nodded, slipping her fingers against his palm. As she climbed into the coach, she felt his gaze on her, warming her quickly. She wished he didn’t have that effect on her.

  Within minutes, Gertrude rushed out of the shop and Nick helped her in. The older woman sat across from her this time. As Nick settled himself next to Catherine, she trembled. The musky scent of spice wafted through the air, making her want to close her eyes and breathe in his heavenly scent.

  The inn where Nick took them reminded Catherine of the last eating establishment she’d visited with the three brothers, except this one was a hundred times nicer and the serving women dressed with much more modesty...and they didn’t flirt with Nick.

  After their plates of food came, he smiled at her. “So tell me, Catherine, what have you purchased so far today?”

  She took a swallow of her drink before answering. “Well, I ordered a few dresses from Madame La Fonté, but other than that, I really have not bought much.”

  He almost choked on his food. “What? That’s all? Where did you learn to shop?”

  “I’m not used to shopping for clothing since I have made most of my gowns. But the truth is, I wasn’t enjoying myself much.”

  “Are you jesting?”

  “No.”

  “Well then, Miss Martin, I think it’s time to learn how to have fun.”

  She laughed. “And who is going to teach me?”

  “Me, that’s who.”

  She widened her eyes. “But don’t you have business to attend?”

  He waved his hand. “I have finished it, and now the rest of the day is yours.”

  Gertrude clapped her hands. “Splendid. We shall have a wonderful time. Thank you my dearest nephew. Your company is always welcomed.”

  It amazed Catherine how much fun she had with Nick. He was such a charming man, and he knew how to laugh, which surprised her greatly. When she’d gone shopping earlier, her time with Gertrude had been almost tedious. Now it was as if her day had just begun.

  Nick took her back to Madame La Fonté and helped pick out another dozen dresses, which she really didn’t think she needed, but Nick assured her she did. He also helped Madame La Fonté chose the right colors to match Catherine’s eyes and her complexion. Madame La Fonté clung to Nick’s every word as if he was the Almighty, and it surprised Catherine he was respected and admired as much as he was – and in a women’s dress shop, no less.

  From there, he took her back to the milliner, then to the shoemaker. He took her to the perfume shop where he helped her pick out the rose scent she liked to wear. Th
en they moved from place to place, up and down the streets until Nick was satisfied that she had purchased enough items.

  In each shop there was always a woman who knew him. By the way they clung to his arm and batted their eyes, Catherine received the impression those women knew him intimately. A few even dared to kiss his cheek. Catherine tried to act as if she hadn’t seen the brief contact, but her anger rose and she literally had to bite her tongue as not to yell at them to keep their hands off him. Yet, she had no right to feel possessive.

  No right at all.

  Chapter Eight

  Evening came and Nick escorted Catherine and Aunt Gertrude to the club for dinner. This establishment was for men only, but they allowed women in the dining area. He enjoyed watching her wide eyes as they entered, knowing this was her first time in a place like this. He also cherished having her arm hooked around his elbow...as if she was really his.

  After they were seated and Nick ordered for them, he turned his attention back to Catherine. She looked so lovely in the chandelier’s light, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  “Nick? Is this where Gregg and Ian were last night, during their poker game?” she asked. “I think the club’s name is familiar for some reason.”

  Gertrude choked on her drink and gasped. Nick patted his aunt’s hands. “No need to fear, Auntie. I stopped my brothers before they could burn Catherine’s ears anymore.” He lifted his voice so she could hear.

  The older woman breathed slower and took another swallow of her drink.

  Nick gave Catherine a nod. “This is the place. But, Catherine, they really should not have told you what went on inside.”

  She creased her forehead. “Why? Is it against the law?”

  He chuckled. “No, it’s just not a proper subject to discuss with women.”

  “Why?” She sipped her tea.

  “I don’t know why, it just falls under the rules of propriety.”

  She nodded and was silent for a few seconds, then asked, “But what if I wanted to know anyway? The story your brothers told was quite interesting.”

  Catherine was so lovely. So innocent. “It’s just not done, my dear.”

  Sighing heavily, she frowned. “Well, if you ask me, I would say those rules are silly. Is it not bad enough we aren’t allowed in your little clubs? And now, we cannot even hear about what goes on inside.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is rather silly.”

  Aunt Gertrude nodded. “I have to agree with her, Nicholas. What goes on inside the clubs that might be bad for us to hear?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Nothing, Auntie. It’s just...gentleman activities that would probably bore you ladies to tears.”

  Sitting forward, Catherine leaned her elbows on the table and looked him square in the eyes, her sapphire eyes twinkling. “Then will you tell me a story or two, during our ride home? I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

  “Oh, yes, Nicholas,” his aunt chimed in. “I promise not to tell, either.”

  As he stared at Catherine, his heart softened. “Maybe, on our way home.”

  She sat back in her chair and grinned.

  Nick couldn’t keep his eyes off her while they ate, and couldn’t stop smiling. Unbelievable to think, but he was having a pleasant time with her. Catherine had a witty sense of humor and made him laugh too many times to count. Even more so now than when they were children. He enjoyed her charm and wit, and he loved the way her eyes sparkled, and the way her smile lit up her face when she laughed. He really hated to end this day, but the time slipped away quicker than he wanted. Night was upon them, which meant it was time to return home.

  As he waited at their table for Aunt Gertrude to finish visiting with an old acquaintance from across the room, he turned to Catherine and smiled. “May I ask you a question?”

  “Of course. What would you like to know?”

  “Why didn’t you enjoy yourself this morning when you were shopping? Was my aunt not pleasing company?”

  She shrugged. “Well, it was different with her. People treated me differently.”

  His brows drew together. “Like how?”

  “You witnessed the scene between Lady Ruthaford and myself. Most of the women I ran into were like that, but they weren’t as blunt. And the men...”

  He scowled and fisted his hands underneath the table. “What about the men?” Anger welled in his chest, and yet she hadn’t even told him. He already knew the answer.

  “You were right when you told me to beware. Remember? At my ball?”

  He nodded. “I told you these men thought of you as their next conquest.”

  “Yes. They seem to think I’m looking for a...” Bright red color exploded on her lovely cheeks. “...replacement for when your uncle dies.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

  “You handled Lady Ruthaford just fine.”

  She grinned. “You truly think so?”

  He nodded. “You made me very proud.”

  “But she was the one person who ate away at my patience. The others, well, I politely told them I was very happy staying with Grant and his nephews.”

  His temper lifted a notch. “Who are these men? I’ll find them and—”

  “No, Nicholas.” She touched his hand. “Let the matter rest. No harm was done.”

  “Only to my family’s name.”

  She shook her head. “I believe I led them astray.”

  The soft touch of her hand cooled his anger. “They will be back. Men like that don’t stay away for long.”

  “I promise they won’t bother me. I have Grant’s nephews to protect me.” She squeezed his fingers.

  He turned his hand and clasped onto hers. “But, Kitty, you don’t understand. I’m just like those men. I know exactly how their minds work.”

  She inhaled quickly, but didn’t pull her hand away. “Are you really like that?” she asked softly, not taking her eyes off his.

  He didn’t want her to know the truth. Somehow he must make her think badly of him. How could he tell her he’d been pining away for years, dreaming of her and only her? “What if I told you my reputation is deplorable?” His thumb moved across her knuckles in a caress. “Remember what I told you the night of your ball when we were on the stairs?”

  A pink tint spotted her cheeks. “Yes.”

  “All that’s true, my sweet. I’m not considered a gentleman.”

  She swallowed. “Then, why are you sought after by all the respectable young ladies?”

  He chuckled. “I’m in line to take over the dukedom when my uncle dies. I don’t have a title – I never had one, but because of who my uncle is and what I will inherit, this has turned me into a great catch, scoundrel or not.”

  She nodded. He continued to caress her knuckles with his thumb, and he didn’t want this coziness between them to end.

  “Would you go after a young married woman just because her husband was old and ill?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Yes. Especially if she were as lovely as you.”

  Her hand trembled. “Then it’s a good thing you are Grant’s nephew, isn’t it? And I’m also glad you will protect me from men like yourself.”

  He released her fingers and sat back in his chair, trying to calm his fiercely beating heart. Guilt washed over him for his lie, but he must make her believe it. And he felt worse because no matter how hard he tried to push her away, he truly wanted to yank her into his arms and hold her. What he needed was to get away from her and clear his head. The ride back home would be long, and he couldn’t make it with her so close to him in the coach.

  “Catherine, I need to leave you for a few minutes, but I’ll be back soon, and then we’ll return home.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Inside the club. I need to see if a certain man is in there. I won’t be long.” He stood, and rushed inside, hoping he could get her out of his thoughts.

  * * * *

  The ride home was miserable.

 
; Not only did it seem bumpier than before, but no matter what Nick tried to do, he couldn’t close his eyes and fall asleep. He also couldn’t talk to Catherine. When they’d spoken at the club, the conversation turned so personal. He couldn’t ignore the heated emotions coursing through him as he caressed her hand and gazed into her amazing eyes.

  During the ride home, he tried to act as if he were asleep, only because he didn’t want to talk. He was afraid the conversation would turn personal again, and he’d want to pursue his thoughts about kissing her...even though his aunt was with them. Of course Gertrude sat next to him in the corner of the vehicle, her head tilted back and mouth opened snoring softly.

  Curiosity got the best of him and he peeked at Catherine. She appeared as if she, too, tried to rest. The vehicle bumped her all over the seat, making it impossible to stay still. The longer she bounced around, the more he wanted to move next to her so she could have something to lean up against the rest of the way home. She removed her bonnet and tried once again to find a place against the vehicle’s wall that would bring her comfort. But within a few moments, she fidgeted again.

  Finally, his conscience won and he moved over. She jumped and looked at him with wide eyes. Without explanation, he sat back in the corner and draped his arm around her shoulders, inviting her to lean against him. Confusion filled her gaze at first, but then she relaxed into him as her head rested against his shoulder.

  He tried to unwind, but her nearness and heavenly scent drifted through his nostrils, making it impossible. Although he wanted to make her more comfortable, he was now the one ill at ease. Maybe he should’ve stayed on the other side of the coach. Too late. Nothing could move him now. Having her in his arms was like heaven.

  Slowly his hand drifted to her arm and moved up and down in a soft caress. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, praying she would stop him. The Lord knew he didn’t have the strength to do it himself.

  * * * *

  Catherine thought it was difficult to rest before, but now it was utterly impossible. Although her eyes were closed as her head rested against the crook of his shoulder, her mind was wide-awake. Yet she didn’t want him to move away. She enjoyed their closeness and never wanted this moment to end.