Living With the Dead: Year One

by Joshua Guess

  So maybe I will head out and look into this. I helped make those rotation schedules. There should be no reason that a man died last night. Someone should have seen him, woken him up, within half an hour. That's the longest gap of any walking patrol anywhere on this wall.

  There aren't a lot of possibilities here. Either someone saw him asleep and let him go on about it, or someone (or several someones, more likely) didn't actually do their walk around, and missed him. Or, they walked and missed him but didn't double check to make sure he was on duty.

  OK, I need to get off this subject or I'm going to get really angry.

  Other than that, not much is going on around here that you don't already know about. Courtney has made big strides toward getting a convoy set up to bring some struggling survivors here. There's a group down in Louisiana that has fuel for us to use, some people in Alabama with a bunch of converted buses. If we can manage to get everything together in one place, it should be pretty simple for us to manage.

  Oh, and Will has gotten a little better with his mania in the last few days. Most of the big defense upgrades are done, and now he's organizing the production and distribution of a lot of melee weapons. He's seeding them all over the place so that no one can be caught off guard too far away from something that can either cut a head off a zombie or bash it in.

  Guess that goes for live folks as well, but I don't like to think about that too long.

  It says a lot about the people around here that we can leave weapons in easy reach and not worry about something going horribly awry. Even the smaller kids know better than to grab one unless they need it, which is pretty surprising but also very comforting.

  No, talking about other things is definitely not helping. I'm going out to look into this thing at the annex, and I'm going to get some damn answers...

  at 10:15 AM

  Thursday, November 25, 2010

  Gobble

  Posted by Josh Guess

  Before I get into my Thanksgiving day post, I want to tell you just what happened with the guard that died the other night.

  His name was Adam Flynn. I don't know anything else about him other than that. What I do know is that his death is the result of a simple mistake. Evans found some small splinters in Adam's cheek, almost too small to see. When he was found, Adam was laying on his side flat as a board. It seems he fell asleep leaning up against the wall of the guard post he was in, and died that way. The people who walked the wall were fighting the wind and cold, and seeing Adam standing at his post looking out, they didn't think it was necessary to go up and make sure he was ok. From their vantage point there was nothing to worry about. It was far too dark to notice that there was no plume of breath coming from him.

  I don't know if there will be any charges or punishment sought, and honestly I think that the guards that were on duty are so devastated by the consequences of their error that one isn't really needed. That's just me, though. I don't get to be the one to make that call, and I shouldn't.

  So. Turkey day.

  Everyone knows the drill. Today was a time for family and friends to come together and give thanks for the bounty of the harvest. Before The Fall, this was a secular holiday that had many meanings for many people. Since the rise of the zombie plague, most of us here at the compound feel a bit of Thanksgiving every day of our lives.

  I want to tell you what I am tankful for, but first just a bit of history. Many of us know about thanksgiving and how the first one happened. Squanto, acting as a translator between the nearest tribe of native Americans and the colony of pilgrims at Plymouth. The local tribe of Wampanoag donated large stores of food to the pilgrims when it became clear that the supplies that came with them from England would not be enough to last.

  It was an amazing act of pure generosity and a testament to the human spirit.

  In remembrance of this act, the varied people and leaders of this country proceeded to kill and steal from the native peoples for hundreds of years. Touching, I know. Eventually we saw the error of our ways and made peace, but what we gave back was a pittance compared to what we've taken.

  So, I want to tell you what I'm thankful for.

  I am thankful for the people I have had the good fortune to meet and come to know. Those at the compound and at Jack's, the people out there in the newly discovered enclaves of surviving humanity. Almost all of you have demonstrated that same basic respect for human life, in that you are willing to share and do what you can for others.

  I am thankful that the people I live and work with are willing to adhere to principles and ideals--those of peace and harmony--and that they are willing to fight and kill those who would murder and steal from otherwise peace seeking human beings

  I am thankful for the willingness of so many to put in the time and effort to gather food and needed supplies for those survivors in need. This kind of fits with some of the above, but it's worth looking like an idiot to say it twice.

  I am thankful for our ability to learn from the mistakes of the old ways that society worked. Not only the way that we treated the ideas of giving and sharing, atoning for our past mistakes, but also our willingness to cut through the debate and the red tape to say decisively that what is right is right and move forward.

  OK, that last one might need a little explaining. I've been thinking about the native peoples of this country for a few days, and how badly we have treated them. Every person that I have talked to about it agrees that the best thing that could happen would be for those who remain to eventually spread and move out from the reservations that are a poor replacement for the vast lands they used to own and live as they once did. Yeah, I would be upset and defensive if anybody, native or not, tried to lay claim to this place, but the vast majority of the USA is now open to them as far as I am concerned. It's something that has always bothered me, and for that...

  I am thankful for the zombie plague. Though I wish fiercely that it had never happened, I can't change the fact that it did. There are way more negatives than positives to it, but today at least I am thankful for those good things. Bringing people together to work for the common purpose of survival and growth. Giving us the proper perspective to understand just how dysfunctional society was, and the understanding to attempt to avoid those same errors.

  As terrible as it is, the plague reduced the number of people so much that the effect we have on the environment is now almost zero. Our numbers were increasing to the point where the planet might not have been able to sustain us for much longer...

  I know, it's an awful thing to say. The thing about the truth is that whether or not you like it, you have to accept it if you are a rational, thinking person. In the world we live in now, ignoring the truth or pretending that facts are lies leads to bad judgement and probable death. So instead of shying away from the terrible facts, I embrace them.

  The Fall happened, and it nearly destroyed us. The events of the last nine months have been a crucible in which all of us have burned. The pain has been nearly more than we can bear.

  But we've become better, more pure. We have been boiled down to human beings acting as our instincts demand, but that our intellects have more often than not interfered with. We act for the good of the tribe called humanity, as it should be.

  And I am damn thankful for that.

  at 8:28 AM

  Friday, November 26, 2010

  Feast and Famine

  Posted by Josh Guess

  Yesterday was a good day. We had ourselves a big Thanksgiving dinner, complete with turkey, ham, and all the fixings. Wild turkey is totally different in flavor than the old farm raised stuff, but still a delicious change of pace. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and I feel a lot better about mentioning the good things that have come from The Fall. So many people had similar things to say, and mentioned to me that they had been afraid to say it before my total lack of tact gave them an opening.

  Not everyone feels that way, of course, but that's what being a human being is all about. Diff
ering opinions working against each other to act as the driving force behind improving society. Overall I call it a good day for everyone.

  Eating together did sort of put the exclamation point on the fact that there are so many survivors out there who are on the edge of starving. If you've been reading the last few days you know that Courtney, Steve and many others have been putting in a lot of time trying to organize a relief effort to help them out. Part of that included some pretty long range scouting trips to look for stores of food. I had to keep that quiet at Will's request, because letting anyone know we were sending people out was too risky for the ones leaving.

  We have managed to locate a large supply of canned and preserved food. There's a little town several hours away whose only major employer was a cannery that supplied big stores with stuff they could slap their own branded label on cheaply. Add to that some pretty in depth forays into places that used to be emergency shelters, and what you end up with is a lot of easily transported food that's rich with calories if not particularly healthy eating...

  Of course, we're sending other stuff as well. Extra veggies and the like. But this will help.

  Jack and his people up north have been working tirelessly to organize this relief mission in concert with Courtney and some of the other groups from around the country. Jack's folks have managed to set up some rendezvous points between us in the mideastern part of the country and some of the folks who will be helping by donating fuel and trucks. It's on a tight schedule, though, much tighter than we thought would be the case. Apparently some of those folks, especially the ones south of us, are still dealing with zombies on a daily basis and have to work around that. So, Courtney and her team are going to be heading out this weekend to meet with the volunteers from Jack's place. They will be leading this trip to deliver food and other supplies, and to bring back people that want to come join either of our communities.

  It's a huge deal, and some of our best people are going. Courtney and Steve will be working as a team as always. Little David will be going, though Darlene will surely miss him. I think she would go if the responsibility of being our leader didn't keep her here. They have had a slowly intensifying relationship since she joined us, and I think they are getting serious.

  My brother Dave is going as well, along with his wife and kids. If that sounds strange, it really isn't. The dangers they will face on the road are about equal with what we face here, and this will be a great opportunity for my nieces and nephew to learn about giving, doing what is right by those in need. Dave is going to be helping with some repair and construction, and giving some fast lessons on the principles of building at each stop. He's a handy guy, and someone with his skills could be very beneficial in most of the places our delegation is going.

  I'm really excited about it. I wish I could go, but too many council members and key personnel are going already. This is not only going to be directly beneficial, by helping those in need, but it's the best possible way for us to do exactly what Courtney has been doing (building ties and establishing diplomatic relations) on a large scale. And she'll be heading up the group, which is great. I think this trip will be a huge step toward creating the sort of universal goodwill needed to weather the storms of life as it is now in the long term.

  Winter is a going to be a quiet time for many survivors as the zombies go inert from the cold. Maybe not so much in the far south, but if the temp drops below sixty for a while, at least they will get some breaks.

  No, it's next spring that worries me. Knowing what we have already faced, knowing that the smart zombies will be back and maybe better prepared. Knowing that our struggle against the dead will reignite and burn every single day...

  That is why we're doing this. So that every human being that wants to live in peace can do so. By strengthening one, we strengthen all. By helping fortify one group's community, we create one more place of safety for those who need it. It just doesn't get any better than this.

  at 1:15 PM

  Saturday, November 27, 2010

  Brave Face

  Posted by Josh Guess

  Sorry my post for today is so late, and sorry it's going to be a short one.

  We're in the process of loading up and getting the convoy ready for travel. Our relief team is heading out tomorrow to meet with their counterparts from Jack's compound. I'm not going to say where they are meeting up, but I'm not too worried about saying they are going. It's going to be a big group when everyone gets together, given that people from at least five groups of survivors are joining in. And they will be well protected. No force that goes against them will have a chance at stopping them short of blowing the whole thing apart.

  Please, don't blow the whole thing apart...

  Will isn't very happy with the idea that we have to send out guards with them. He's worried that the walls will be left undermanned in the event of an emergency, but the duty rosters say otherwise. We have more people than we need to mount full patrols and man the walls for defense. We'll be fine there.

  I'm worried about so many of my friends going out into the world, but I couldn't be more proud of them for what they're doing. The same goes for Patrick, who is looking to leave any day now to go look for his family. He's been such an integral part of this place for so long that it sort of feels like my hand is going to be cut off when he leaves. I know he intends to come back, but Florida is a long way from here, and a world of danger in between.

  We're having a dinner together tonight before everyone goes. Even though I will see them later today, I still can't help but imagine what the morning will bring. Saying my goodbyes, watching them roll away toward unknown dangers to provide hope for others...

  The thought has occurred to me that all of us are really alone at the end of the day. We share our triumphs and tragedies with those we love, our friends and our families. The test of our character is how we react when there is no comfort or understanding to be found. No encouragement or guidance. It's ironic to me that I want to be strong when they leave, when it's just Jess and I left here from our tight group of friends, so that when they return they can be proud of how strong we were.

  I've fought and killed more zombies over the last nine months than I can count. I've done the same for men and women who attacked us, tried to take what we have rather than ask with an open hand. Strangely, this is much harder for me to face. They've left before, but this is a trip that at a minimum will take many times longer than any before. The risks will multiply with time...

  But they are strong. They will be careful and safe, and with luck and the determination that has kept us alive this long, we'll all see each other again.

  Feeling all of that makes seeing them bittersweet. It will be wonderful to spend time with everyone before we part, but all that much harder to be around them knowing that all of these words will rise up in me when they are sitting around the table with me. The key to it will be the same as any other time.

  Smile for them, and put on a brave face.

  at 1:23 PM

  Sunday, November 28, 2010

  In the Night

  Posted by Patrick

  I leave this post just down the road from the compound just as I'm about to leave cell service. I'm posting here to apologize for sneaking off in the night and because I couldn't look anybody in the eye while I told them that I had to leave by myself. Josh had a plan that I would go out with the convoy going to Louisiana and Alabama and then we would swing down in to Florida to look for my family, but I just couldn't do that. The mission to establish contact with these people is just too important for it to be jeopardized looking for my family, and is a dangerous precedent to set. Everyone here has family and friends that they haven't heard from or know what happened to, and we don't have the resources to look for people that may or may not be alive, there are too many that we know are alive and in need.

  I know in my heart that my family is dead or undead, yet I can't rest until I know for sure. I know from my repeated requests to Google tha
t there is little to no power or internet usage in Southern Florida and none in the area that my family lived in, but I must try. The dreams of my parents being eaten alive are keeping me awake most nights.

  Since I have returned from the last trip to retrieve the turbines I have been stocking away supplies for this trip and it makes me feel the thief, stealing what others have worked so hard to make or procure is heavy on my soul but hasn't stopped me. The worst is the ammo, just knowing that if any big action or zombie attack happened and that if for some reason people ran out and died as the result has me in cold sweats. But I need a chance and so must be selfish.

  I'm going on a small dirt bike that David had modified the exhaust on for scout work, so it runs really quite. I'll miss the safety of being encased in steel but with fuel getting harder to find the small but quick engine will be best. Not to be flip but thanks to Jessica's leather work the holsters for my shotgun and rifle make me feel like a real cowboy.