The Museum was empty. Apparently, they weren’t open on Sundays. Through the windows we passed I caught sight of the sun high in the sky. I paused near a display of the world’s tiniest teddies.
“Odd,” I said, staring out the window next to the display.
“What?” Dani asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
I pointed towards the sun. “When my mom called she indicated that it was still early morning. But that’s a noonday sun.”
Dani didn’t say anything.
We turned away from the window and continued to make our way through the silent museum.
“We really need a concrete plan of sorts,” Dani said, as we passed the restrooms. “Beginning with finding me some decent clothes; I’m feeling kind of exposed here.”
I looked at her and frowned. What remained of her “savage girl” outfit was painfully little and the camouflage jacket was missing a sleeve.
“Here,” I said, stopping in front of a large glass case. Enclosed in it was a large teddy bear that was about a head taller than me. The little plaque at the base of the case explained that it was one of those animatronic bears that Disney used in their rides. It was dressed in a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt.
I smashed the handle of the sword against the glass, and it shattered. The museum was momentarily filled with sharp sound of glass breaking. Clearing the glass away, I went in and removed the jeans and shirt. I tossed them to Dani.
She held them up and looked at me dubiously.
“What?” I asked, stepping out of the case. “We’re kind of running low on options here, and somehow I doubt anyone’s going to mind us trashing one display case to save the world.”
I turned away as Dani removed the jacket. “Your logic is questionable.”
“Right,” I said. “This coming from the girl who wanted to have a picnic in a cemetery in the middle of the night.”
“Oh, would you let go of that already.”
I didn’t bother to reply. Instead, I let my gaze wander over the various displays of teddy bears. A teddy bear museum. What a stupid idea. Who would actually come to this place? If they weren’t being chased by supernatural creatures bent on killing them, that is.
“Okay, you can turn around. So, what are we going to do?” She asked as I turned back to her. Dressed in the jeans and flannel she was much easier to take seriously. I noticed her savage girl outfit lying on the floor.
“What, you don’t want to keep it for a souvenir?” I grinned.
Dani let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, I said I was sorry. What more do you want?”
“For starters,” I said, pulling out the ruby, “I don’t want to have to decide what to do with this."
“Are you going to hold this against me for the rest of our relationship?”
"For however brief that may be,” I replied.
She didn't say anything at first. Then, in a whisper, “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Well, it does appear that it might add a few years to my life.”
“You can’t do that."
“Why not?"
She threw her hands up. “Because we’re perfect for each other!"
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. You see, there’s the small problem of me being sane and you not, being sane, that is. We couldn’t be more different.”
“But that’s what’s so great!” She said. “We balance each other out!”
“Dani, in the past several hours my life has transformed from one of a simple college student into a nightmare," I replied. "And I think it’s safe to say that it’s your fault."
“Oh, so that’s what this is about. You want to assign blame? I can't believe this. Could you be any more childish?”
“I'm not being childish,” I countered.
“You can’t breakup a relationship like ours just because of one bad night."
“Dani, dead people tried to sacrifice us, another man is trying to sacrifice you so that he can bring about the next apocalypse. This goes way beyond having a bad night."
We both fell silent.
There was a sound of something falling in elsewhere in the building, but neither of us flinched. We just stared at each other; neither of us wanting to back down first.
Then Dani jumped forward and knocked me to ground. She cut off my startled yelp with another full throttle kiss. It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps this relationship had possibly evolved beyond the perimeters of the simple boyfriend/girlfriend status.
“Now is not the time for this activity," someone said.
Dani and I stopped kissing and stared at each other.
"That wasn't me," Dani said.
"I couldn't talk with your tongue down my throat," I said.
"You're welcome," she said with a smile.
"You must prepare yourselves, the Others are coming."
Dani and I slowly turned our heads.
The three robed figures had returned.
11
They hovered in front of us, as ominous as before.
Dani quickly got off me and I got to my feet.
Again, the middle one spoke. “The ruby must not return to the Others.”
“Ah, yeah we figured that one out on our own,” I replied. “Perhaps you could offer some helpful tips on how we might accomplish that?”
None of the figures replied.
“Talkative bunch, aren’t they?” I muttered to Dani.
“Maybe they’re shy?”
“Well then, why don’t you give them a little welcome kiss, make them feel more at home,” I suggested dryly.
I didn’t have to look at Dani to know she was glaring at me.
“Karloff told you that the ruby could not be destroyed. This is not true,” This time I got the impression that it was the one on the left doing the talking.
I opened my mouth to say something, but Dani elbowed me silent.
“The world of the Others is governed by rules,” said the middle one.
“Strict rules that cannot be bent, twisted or broken,” said the one on the left.
“It is also strongly guided by destiny,” said the one on the right.
“This is the nature of the supernatural,” said the middle one.
“The rules say the ruby cannot be destroyed,” said the left one.
“But destiny foretells its destruction,” said the right one.
“Wow,” I said, unable to hold back the sarcasm any further. “You guys really do get off on being as vague as possible, don’t you?”
“You are destined to destroy the ruby,” the middle one said.
“But you just said it that couldn’t be destroyed,” Dani said.
“This is the way of the supernatural,” replied the middle one. I could almost hear the shrug in its voice.
And then they were gone.
“Well,” I said, “it doesn’t get any more helpful then that!”
I kicked the wall frustratingly. “Just how the hell are we supposed to destroy this thing?”
And then something rumbled.
The Museum shook slightly, like a small earthquake had hit it; which, of course, wasn’t possible. This was Florida our state disaster was the hurricane, not the earthquake.
Dani grabbed my arm. “Perhaps we should keep moving?”
I nodded. “Good idea.”
Around us the sound of exploding display cases began to fill the air.
I felt goose bumps run down my arms.
“Oh, this can’t be good,” I muttered.
We passed through a doorway. The sign above announced: INTERNATIONAL TEDDY BEARS.
The museum shook again, more violently this time.
And then, we came to an abrupt halt in the middle of a round room.
We slowly turned, back to back.
The cases that had once held the teddy bears now lay in piles of shattered glass.
“I don’t think we’re alone anymore,” Dani said quietly.
“Here,” I whispere
d and passed the sword to her, “you’re better with this than I am.”
She took it, smiled and said, “Oh my, this is beautiful! I didn’t notice the dragon design before.”
She turned me around to face her. “Where did you find this?”
“Back in Karloff’s sacrificing room,” I scratched the back of my head. “To be honest, I only grabbed it ‘cause I thought you’d like it.”
She smiled. “That’s sweet.”
“I’m still mad at you,” I said, and then tried to back that statement up with a glare. But, I don’t think it worked.
She just continued to smile. “Of course you are.”
She leaned over and gave me another kiss. It wasn’t like the lust-filled passion ones that she had delivered earlier. This was more subdued, quiet. Kind of sweet.
And then, the moment was shattered by the growl of a bear.
A teddy bear.
We slowly turned away from each other.
We were surrounded by over a dozen or more teddy bears, all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Their eyes glowing a dark, menacing red. In the dim light the teddy bears cast long, intimidating shadows. But most importantly, they moved.
Silence swept through the room.
"This is unbelievable,” Dani said breathlessly, “we're going to be killed by psychotic, supernaturally-possessed teddy bears."
"The perfect end to a perfect day,” I replied, hoping that my dripping sarcasm might wash away the killer teddy bears.
“What do we do?”
I looked at the bears, fondly remembering my own teddy that I had when I was five. The psychological damage here . . .
I loaded my last clip into the Uzi.
Dani raised her sword.
“Okay, here’s the plan,” I paused dramatically, letting my gaze wander over the room. There were two entrances into the room. There was the one we had come in through, which was to our left, and then there was another one to our right. Both were blocked by teddy bears, “make a run for the door to the right and kill anything that gets in the way.”
I could hear the smile in Dani’s voice as she replied; “Now that’s my kind of plan!”
I was so going to need a vacation after this.
“On the count of three,” I said.
“Three!” Dani shouted gleefully and rushed forward.
“Give me strength, Lord,” I muttered and followed after her.
The teddy bears quickly closed in on us.
I picked off two of them that jumped at Dani.
The blade in Dani’s hand became a blur as she whipped it around expertly, slicing the teddy bears to pieces. If I survived this, I was really going to have to ask her where she learned to use a sword like that.
At first, it looked as though we were going to make it. The teddy bears, for all their unnatural aura of evil, and the fact that they were teddy bears--they wouldn’t exactly stop to bemoan a dismembered limb--were rather easily dispatched.
We managed to cut a path through the mass gathering of lethal teddy bears and found ourselves running up a set of wooden stairs.
“Um, out of idle curiosity,” Dani asked, glancing briefly over her shoulder at me, “but why are we going up?”
I let loose a hail of bullets at a small group of cotton stuffed killers that had followed us up the stairs. “Well,” I replied as I ran up the stairs, now littered with teddy carcasses, “it seemed like the path of least resistance. But if you want to try and go back down, knock yourself out.”
I saw Dani glance past me down the stairs at the seemingly unending swarm of teddy bears ascending up after us, their red eyes casting an eerie glow. “Uh, no. Up is good.”
We reached the second floor and paused.
“Right or left?” I asked. I glanced back down the stairs. The teddy bears were so desperate to get to us they were climbing over each other. “Dani, pick one . . .”
“Left.”
We sprinted down the corridor, only a wooden railing between us and a long drop to the ground floor.
The building shook again. Dani and I came to a halt, slowly turning around.
From a doorway that had written above it: FAMOUS TEDDY BEARS came a giant yellow teddy bear with a red shirt and glowing red eyes.
“This is not funny,” I said.
The giant yellow bear tossed a large ceramic honey jar at us.
“Crap!” I exclaimed and pushed Dani to the side. I raised the Uzi and blasted the honey jar to pieces.
The yellow bear gave a high-pitched howl of disappointment and started lumbering towards us, slowly picking up speed.
I pulled the trigger of the Uzi again and nothing happened.
I looked at Dani and gave a small shrug. “No more bullets.”
She sighed. “Fine. I’ll take care of this one.”
She stepped in front of me, giving the dragon-handled sword a few twirls of her wrist and then rush towards the bear.
I leaned against the wall, grateful for the momentary breather, and watched the surreal game of chicken. It was rather one-sided, I knew.
The bear never had a chance.
At the last second, Dani leapt up, she was a good two heads shorter than the bear, and swung the sword.
The yellow bear’s head flew over the railing and landed on the first floor.
The sound of two hands clapping reached my ears.
I turned and saw Karloff across on the other side of the second floor, clapping his hands.
“Bravo, my dear, bravo!” He exclaimed with almost a touch of pride.
The grandfather analogy was starting to get really old.
“You two have lasted far longer than I ever would have predicted. You’re good. Very good,” he smiled at us, practically beaming with pride. “Now give me the ruby.”
I looked at Dani. “And you complain that I have a one-track mind.”
Karloff stepped up and placed his hands on the railing. “Just give me the ruby and all this will go away.”
“Yeah, in more ways than one,” I heard Dani mutter.
I glanced back down. The teddy bears were coming up the stairs quickly. We were down to one sword and a useless Uzi. It looked like Karloff was going to get his nebulous after all. Unless . . .
“Hey, Karloff,” I said, speaking loudly to make sure he heard me, “did you check your prophecies lately? I’m supposed to destroy the ruby!”
Karloff frowned. “The ruby is indestructible.”
I pulled the red gemstone out of my pocket. “You willing to bet on that?”
“Who told you this lie?”
“Three strange men in funky brown robes.”
Karloff looked at me and blinked. “What?”
I leaned forward. “A birdie told me! What does it matter, Karloff? You’re losing!”
Karloff gave a tight, confident smile. “I’d hardly call it losing.”
I felt a small tap on my shoulder.
“Michael, I think you should turn around,” Dani said, there was an urgency in her voice that did not comfort me.
But I turned around anyway.
Bert, the grey monster, stood there, flanked by Things 1 and 2.
“Great,” I muttered, “You guys again.” I screamed. I couldn’t help it. This was just too insane. “What the hell does it take to kill you people?!”
All right, enough was enough. I spun around. “Okay, Karloff, you want the ruby? Come and get it!”
I flung the ruby into the air.
In that same moment, I snatched the sword from Dani’s hands.
Across the building I heard Karloff shout something to Bert and the Things.
The ruby began its descent.
I brought the sword around a sideways arc, and hoped to God that those robe guys knew what they were talking about. All I had to do was keep in mind that the ruby needed a virgin’s blood, right?
The sword came down on the ruby, slicing it perfectly in half.
“Noooo!” Karloff cried out.
An expanse of red energy exploded outward, knocking me and Dani to the ground.
“What the hell was that?” Dani exclaimed.
I shrugged. “I’m not quite sure, but I have a feeling it isn’t good.” I grabbed her arm. “Could we start moving please? I’d rather not be here when the poop hits the fan.”
“That’s assuming that it hasn’t already,” Dani said as we got to our feet.
The red energy swarmed through the building, crackling with an unearthly static.
“No, no, no, no!” Karloff screamed.
We ran down the corridor, the red energy sizzling along our backs.
Behind us I heard a building whine.
The corridor ended in a glass window.
“Michael, what are you going to do?!” Dani shouted.
The whine grew louder.
The red energy crackled more.
The entire museum was bathed in red.
Grabbing her hand, I yelled “Just taking a page from the Danielle Widgon book of last minute plans!”
With that, we jumped through the window.
12
Behind us, as our bodies fell through the air, the Teddy Bear Museum exploded.
Fortunately, we hit the lake that was situated behind the museum.
After floating around for a brief moment to catch our breath, Dani and I slowly swam to shore. The remains of the museum still crackled with flames, but for the most part the fireworks appeared to be done.
I crawled out onto shore and flopped down on my back. I was pretty sure that any second now more weird beast-like things would start rising up out of nowhere. I didn’t care. I was done and fresh out of ideas. If they wanted us, they could have us.
Dani dropped down beside me.
After a few minutes of silence, I twisted my head to get a better view.
There was nothing. No monsters. No possessed teddy bears. No psychotic grandfathers. Nothing.
I let my head drop back to the ground and gave a relieved sigh.
“I do believe,” I said, “it’s finally over.”
Dani climbed on top of me, one leg on either side of my stomach.
"Ah, careful there, I'm still a little tender."
Dani nodded, but didn't get off. "I’m sorry. You know, I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen," she said, brushing her wet hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I just thought it would be cool to have a picnic in a cemetery.
Graveyard Romance Page 7