by Abby Gale
With Kellan, I felt everything all at once. Being with him was like experiencing a dream. One moment he made me feel like a high school girl with her first crush, the next I was feeling like a Sex Goddess. One moment everything he awoke inside me was innocent, the next all I felt was scorching lust that consumed all other thoughts in my mind. He was a roller-coaster and I was both thrilled and scared of the ride he planned for my poor heart.
Shaking my head I turned to watch the farms we passed. We were in the country and this place was full of farms. It was so different from the city –away from the traffic, away from the noise and away from all the rush. This place gave me peace, reminded me of Thanksgivings –why, I had no idea.
Finally, we stopped at the entry of one of them.
“We’re here,” Kellan announced, helping me out of the car. He didn’t give me any more explanation as we walked into the farm, hand in hand.
I looked at my surroundings –there was so much green in this place, every shade of green. It was like Alpines in Heidi. A smile found its place on my face when I saw horses, they were surrounded with fence, but they were running around freely, and with elegance.
“Do you like it?” Kellan whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist. I didn’t even realize we stopped, but there was no other place I wanted to be in that moment.
“Yes,” I breathed out.
“You can ride one, later… if you’d like,” he offered, nuzzling my neck.
Crooking my neck, I beamed at him, “Really? But I’ve never ridden a horse before.”
He grinned with mischief “I think you’d manage it without problem,” he teased me.
“Pig,” I giggled.
“Whose place is this?” I asked, moving closer to the horses.
“My mom’s.”
“Your what?!” I stopped right in my tracks.
He brought me to his mother!
And he didn’t even tell me!
“Relax. You watch the horses, I’ll see where she is,” he said, squeezing my ass before leaving me next to fence. Trying to not worry about meeting his mother I focused on the black horse that came toward me.
“Are you Kellan’s girlfriend?” I heard a woman’s voice behind me. It startled me because my focus was fully on the beautiful animal in front of me. He kept nudging his nose on my shoulder.
“No, I’m not,” I murmured, caressing the smooth skin of the horse between his eyes. I eyed the woman; she was a middle aged woman with blonde bob model hair. She was wearing cream jodhpurs, a white shirt, black riding jacket, and black riding boots. She looked like she jumped out of a riding club brochure. Her elegant, raw beauty stunned me, but more than that it was her eyes –exactly the unique shades of Kellan’s, I assumed she was his mother.
“Who are you, then?” she asked, but her voice wasn’t accusing, she was clearly interested.
Who was I?
What could I tell his mother about us?
I went with the simplest answer: “I’m Melody. I work for Kellan at his firm.”
“Oh, I see. I’m Isabella, his mother,” she smiled, walking toward the house. I didn’t know what to do for a few seconds, just stared after her as I tried to decide. But Isabella looked back at me over her shoulder, “Aren’t you coming?” she asked with a slight smile on her face that reminded me of Kellan and continued on her way.
Following behind her I sighed in relief when I saw Kellan turn the corner.
“Ah, there you are,” he smiled at his mother, hugging her with one arm. They looked like friends instead of mother and child, it put a smile on my face. Seeing him on good terms with his mother was refreshing after the tension with his father.
“Have you two met already?” Kellan asked, looking between his mother and me. When we both nodded, he placed a kiss on her mother’s cheek and walked toward me.
“Are you cold?” Kellan asked, taking my hand in his. I smiled at his question, loving that he cared and gave attention to me. I didn’t even realize I was cold till his warm hand wrapped around mine. Nodding my head, I made eye-contact with Isabella. She was watching us from a far, looking from Kellan to me.
“Who’s hungry? Beth was making pancakes,” Isabella said before going in.
*****
The house was designed in a rustic style, it wasn’t dark colors, though. The décor was mostly in white oak which gave brightened up the place. I always loved this kind of architecture for places in suburbs –like mountains, lake houses, or farms like this.
“You have a great place, Isabella,” I murmured.
“Thanks, Melody. I’m glad to have you here,” she smiled. Her words were sincere but distant with elegance. I was nervous, but no one seemed to notice my anxiety. Kellan looked so calm next to me, I didn’t even know why he brought me here.
Did he want to introduce me to his mother?
Did that mean we were in a relationship?
“Let’s have a seat,” Isabella offered, bringing me back to reality. I was silent as mother and son caught up. Their attention wasn’t on me, but that wasn’t offensive. Their chat was comfortable. It gave me a sense of familiarity, like this was what we always did… like I was already a part of this house. I constantly caught Isabella looking at me, though. Her grey eyes were shining bright with excitement, like she wanted to say something to me but instead held herself back.
“So, you two work together?” Isabella said. A smile in her eyes as her face stayed neutral.
I nodded as Kellan said, “Yeah,” but before we could continue the topic Kellan’s phone started to ring on the table.
“Your mother’s calling,” he announced, picking up his phone as he left the room.
“Has Kellan met your mother?” Isabella asked.
“Yeah,” I answered, then added, “It’s a little bit complicated.”
“How so?”
“My mom is married to Brad,” I blurted out, even her shock was elegant, she was taking her time to process things as I waited in silence. The moment she parted her lips I held my breath for her reaction, but before she could say anything Kellan came back into the room.
“They are having a celebration at the house, your mother invited us both, of course,” he told me.
Confused, I asked, “Why did she call you instead of me?”
“Because I’m the problem child, babe,” he winked at me, totally oblivious of my gasp in surprise and his mother’s scrutinizing gaze. His phone didn’t give us any chance to respond.
“Fuck, I have to take this,” he headed out of the room as his mother warned after him, “Language, young man!”
The smile froze on my face when she turned her attention to me. The same calculating gaze in her eyes, “You’re working for him. You’re his step-sister… and you’re the only girl he has ever brought here. Oh, and you’re his babe,” she summed it all up, slowly her face turned into a smirk, “I think you have lots of titles, it is quite interesting, Melody.”
The heat bloomed on my cheeks, I tried to hide my face by looking down at my hands on my lap.
“Don’t hurt him,” she murmured, causing my head to jerk up, “What?”
The idea was impossible in my mind. How could I hurt Kellan? I was afraid he was the one who had all the power to hurt me.
“Kellan tries to act cold, but he is far from it, Melody. His emotions are so intense… more than any other human out there. Have you ever heard of highly sensitive person syndrome?” she asked.
Frowning, I nodded my head.
“Kellan has that. His situation was at the lowest level, but he felt everything as a little child, more than he should have. He felt our sadness when we were a family… he felt broken when we got divorced with his father. As well as sadness, he feels good things with more intensity. He loves hard, he gets attached before he realizes it. That’s why he has never let anyone stay long in his life. But you found your way into this house, Melody. Can you see what that means?”
“Yes, I understand what you’re trying to
say, but I don’t have the power to hurt Kellan. You don’t need to worry,” I said, still trying to wrap my head around what she told me. She was assuming that I was in a relationship with her son, but I had big doubts Kellan would think the same way.
She reached for my hand, surprising me, “He will hurt you, girl. He will say and do things that will hurt you. I know it will be hard, but all I’m saying is if you care about him, don’t give up on him when it happens. Because in the end you’re the only person who can truly hurt my son.”
I didn’t know what to say, what to think. She was his mother, the person who knew Kellan the best, but the things she said sounded so surreal I wasn’t so sure. The Kellan I knew was a good guy, passionate about everything in life, but he was after only one thing. His opinion about relationships was as clear as a day.
“Isabella… I,” I started without knowing what to say, but Kellan rescued me from that situation by choosing that moment to come in.
“Melody, we need to go… there are a few urgent things we need to take care of for the musical academy project,” he said, putting on his jacket.
“Mom, sorry we can’t stay longer.” He kissed her cheek.
“It’s okay, but you should come again soon… both of you,” Isabella said, winking at me when Kellan didn’t look.
“We’ll see, Mom,” he parried, turning to face me. “Are you ready, Mel?”
Nodding his way, I smiled at Isabella. “Thanks for everything.”
She surprised me by pulling me for a hug. “Don’t forget what I said,” she whispered.
*****
On the ride to work Kellan was so silent. Tension was radiating from his body, I didn’t know how to act or what to say. The music in the car was loud, like he was warning me not to talk. I had so many questions to ask. I didn’t know why he brought me to his mother’s house or what that meant for us. I didn’t know why he was distant to me or what was bothering him. As questions swirled around my head I tried my hardest to not say anything until he broke the silence, but I couldn’t help myself.
Turning down the volume of the music I murmured, “Your mom is so nice.”
As an answer he only nodded his head after looking at me from the corner of his eye. Sighing, I tried my chance once more, “Do you visit your mom often?”
“Not so often,” he answered, reluctantly.
He was so playful, excited in the morning. His eyes were shining bright as we drove to the farm after breakfast, after the phone call he changed, turning into this distant shell of him.
“Thanks for showing me the farm, it was so beautiful. And… meeting your mom was a pleasure,” I tried again before adding playfully, “I couldn’t find time to ride, though.”
I was expecting him to smirk, return to his playful self with the mention of riding. I wanted him to say something, anything… wanted to close this emotional distance he put between us.
I was confused when he turned toward a parking lot that looked like a truck stop. He stopped at a concealed spot and turned to me. I was about to ask what he was doing, but the look in his eyes stopped me. He was looking at me with confusion, pain, desperation, and lust. Putting his hand to my neck he pulled me close to him.
“Please, shut up,” he whispered to my lips. His voice wasn’t terse, he was begging. Before I could contemplate a sentence, he continued, “You’re making me question things, creating a chaos inside me. Please, just shut up.”
“Kellan…” I breathed out, but he put a small kiss on my lips to stop me.
“I need you,” he said, urgency in his voice as he pulled me onto his lap. I was curious of what he’d say so I kept silent as he continued to move with desperate urgency. I felt his confusion, anger, and lust merged together. He really needed me, but I had no idea why… or what that meant. No matter how confused I was, my arousal got intensified as he pushed down his zipper.
He kept talking, most likely to himself, “I want my cock deep inside you.”
He captivated my body, making me his slave like he always did. Our relationship was highly sexual, the best possible way, I was aware of that. But also, our relationship was confusing me –one moment we were communicating like a real couple, the next we were distant like the Earth and the moon.
I moaned when I felt the tip of his cock between my pussy lips. I could question our relationship as much as I wanted, but at the end, with only one look from him I was soaking wet, drowned in lust, and desperate for him.
He pushed his cock inside me, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly like he was trying to keep me there.
“Kellan…” I moaned, arching my back at the sensation.
“This… this is the best place…” he groaned into my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, balancing myself against his hard and deep thrusts.
“There is no question I need to answer, no unnamed feeling, no worry when I’m inside you,” he half whispered half groaned.
His words were stirring something inside me, confusing me with their possible meanings, but his body was making me forget everything I couldn’t grasp.
An alarm was ringing in my mind, telling me that we needed to talk not fuck, that this thing between us shouldn’t be this way. My heart was screaming at me that our relationship wasn’t a romantic fairytale like I wanted to believe. The voices in my head were telling me that he wasn’t my Prince Charming. The questions were coming from every direction yet instead of stopping him I wanted more.
He kissed, bit, and licked every inch of skin he could reach. Our pelvises moved in sync, projecting the slow dance of sex.
“Why can’t I get enough of you? Why are the things that were once so simple are now so much better, but also so much more complicated with you?” he whispered, crooning my face in his hands.
Grinding my hips, I put my palms on his cheeks. Our eyes locked in the most intense way like we could find all the answers in the world in each other’s eyes.
“I don’t know,” I panted, letting him kiss me as pleasure threatened to consume my body.
“Look at me, babe,” he whispered on my lips, “Look at me when you come.”
He used that word again, causing pleasure to erupt in my heart as well as my body.
And I lost myself… not only to the pleasure, but also to him.
The next two weeks went by so fast and in much the same way. Outside of work we were spending lots of time together. Mostly at his place, but sometimes he stayed with me. There were times that he put distance between us, but those moments didn’t last long. Those moments ended up with us naked, panting in scorching passion. Mostly, we were like a couple, but we were also friends which made me feel giddy. I tried not to fantasize, but I couldn’t help thinking we were going somewhere, moving forward into a relationship… or something close to that.
At work, Kellan and I started to work on a side project after the meeting. I was still doing working as his assistant, but mostly we were working together. He never made me feel like I was beneath him… except when we had sex, which was often, but that was completely okay. I liked his body on top of mine… and whenever we were near that was how we ended like all my thoughts found its way to us, naked.
For two weeks, Kellan and I’d worked, fucked, and drove each other crazy by pushing our buttons, encouraged each other when it was about the project, and fucked each other some more. Everything was going well, except the same question running through my mind every time we had sex… or every time I felt that strange feeling when I caught him looking at me in that weird and intense way. It was different than his I-want-you-now-look. But I had no idea what to make of this look when he gave it to me. I just knew that it was doing different things to me.
“What are we doing, Kellan?” I whispered, caressing his hair, couldn’t keep the question to myself any longer when it was ripping my insides apart. We were mostly naked, our scent was on each other yet he was withdrawing himself from me… again… like every time he did after we had sex or after I felt like we wer
e moving forward… to something like a relationship.
“Don’t,” he said to my breasts, playing with my nipple, trying to distract me. It might work, if this topic wasn’t so important for me.
“Don’t what, Kellan? Don’t you think we need to talk about this? Don’t you think I have every right to ask you this?” I insisted.
“You’ll ruin this, Melody,” he groaned.
Holding his face in my hands, I made him look at me, “I just want you, want to be more than just a fuck to you. Don’t you think we deserve this?”
“There is nothing more… no hope for more. No hope for “us”. I’m giving you all I can, Melody,” he said, troubled, his eyes were powerful and vulnerable at the same time… like daring me to fight yet begging me to understand.
“No… no, you don’t give me your all, Kellan. You’re trying to hide what is inside you. I got a glimpse of what we can be, you show it to me from time to time. Why are you trying to hide it? Why are you so scared of talking about? You cannot hide fire in an ice cube, Kellan. You can’t hide your sweet side from me,” I protested, reaching for his cheek, trying to touch his soul as he pulled away more each second. He was close physically, but so far away emotionally it froze me, “Don’t do this again!” I whispered, feeling vulnerable altogether.
“Do what?!” he hissed. He was angry, but I could see the hesitation behind those grey eyes that were trying to look at me coldly.
“Can’t you see how much I hate your coldness? Can’t you see this is the cruelest punishment to me?”
“Then, why don’t you run away from me? Why don’t you leave this coldness? Why do you bear the bite of cold? In hope of reaching the fire? What will it change? You’ll burn either way, Melody… why even bother?” he exclaimed.
“Because I lived your ice and I’ve gotten a taste of your fire… and if this will be my end then I will only ask for more. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that I’m choosing you over myself? I’m choosing staying next to you even when it hurts me the most instead of being without you!”