Somewhere Only We Know

by Beverley Hollowed

  She fumbled with the keys, trying to open the door, but her hands were shaking.

  “Is everything alright?” Finn asked, as he moved beside Kate so he could see her face.

  “Everything’s fine,” Kate replied, forcing a big fake smile onto her face, but feeling angry with herself inside for allowing herself to get into this situation. She couldn’t seem to get the key into the lock and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, as she became frustrated. “I just need to open this stupid door.”

  “Kate,” Finn said stepping closer to her. “It’s okay.”

  He took the keys from her and opened the door for her, then stepped back.

  “Thank you,” she said, still refusing to look at him. “Goodbye Finn.”

  Before he could reply, she hurried inside and closed the door behind her, leaving Finn standing on her front porch completely confused about what had just happened.

  Kate’s face burned with embarrassment at the memory of that evening. For a moment she considered not responding, but when she looked down at the wet paint she knew she needed his help.

  “Kate,” she heard Finn calling her from the side gate once again. Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

  “I’m here,” she called out. “I need help.”

  “I’m coming in,” he called, sounding a little concerned. Moments later, Finn appeared from around the side of the house. When he saw Kate standing on the deck in one piece, the relief was clear on his face. “Are you okay?”

  “Kind of,” Kate said, as her face burned with embarrassment. She forgot how gorgeous Finn was and now he was standing there in front of her, looking even more gorgeous than she remembered, while she was a paint covered mess, and one who had stupidly painted herself into a corner of her own back porch and was now trapped. “I’m stuck.”

  “You’re stuck?” he asked looking at her in confusion. Kate pointed down to the deck and a big smile filled Finn’s face when he realised exactly what she meant. He burst out laughing and Kate could feel her face burning hotter and hotter.

  Bastard! She thought to herself. And why does he have to be so damn gorgeous?

  “It isn’t funny,” Kate said and tried not to laugh. She was completely mortified.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” he said, as he slid his phone from his pocket and pointed it at Kate.

  “Finn Morgan, don’t you dare,” Kate cried and she meant it. “You do not take my picture, I am not even close to kidding.”

  “Fine,” he replied with a laugh and shoved his phone back in his pocket. He walked towards the porch and looked around for a way to get her off the deck. “Can’t you just walk off?”

  “And ruin my hard work?” Kate replied. “Oh hell no. Besides I am in my bare feet and that paint would be a nightmare to get off my skin.”

  “I could lift you off…” he said and he went to step up on to the deck.

  “NO!” She screamed and raising her two hands up to stop him. “You will ruin the paint, and it took me ages to get it so perfect.”

  He laughed, as he stood and watched Kate for a moment. Then a mischievous smile flittered across his face.

  “Okay, I will get you off without ruining all your hard work,” he finally said. “But first, I want you to tell me why you freaked out the other night.”

  “I didn’t freak out,” Kate said trying to appear calm, but she was anything but. She totally freaked out, but she had absolutely no intentions of discussing it with him, not even to save her hard work.

  “You completely freaked out,” Finn said, as he crossed his arms across his chest and smiled brightly. “I thought we were getting on okay, I thought you liked me. You even agreed to go to dinner with me. Was I wrong?”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about,” Kate said unable to look him in the face. “Now are you going to help me or not?”

  “Oh I will help you,” Finn replied locking his eyes with her. “But I want to know what I did that upset you so much. It’s the least you could do.”

  “Look if you are not going to help me,” she said, finally allowing her eyes to meet his. “I will do it myself.” She went to step on the wet paint, no longer caring whether or not she ruined it. She was not having this conversation, and she was angry with Finn for trying to use her stupidity, to get information out of her.

  “No, wait!” he exclaimed, as he quickly stepped closer. “I’m sorry, I will help.”

  Kate put her foot back on the unpainted part of the deck. She stared at Finn for a moment and breathed out a breath she didn’t even realise she was holding.

  “Okay,” she finally said with a nod, and was rewarded with one of Finn amazing smiles.

  “Okay,” he replied, rubbing his hands together. He too had been holding his breath. He wasn’t sure why this girl was so guarded, but she was. However, there was something about her that he found intriguing and he was determined to break through this invisible wall she had built. Also, she was probably one of the prettiest girls he had ever met and something told him, she was worth the effort. “So I was thinking, we have two ways of doing this. We could make some kind of bridge with a plank of wood.” He looked around the garden looking for something to use.

  “What’s the other way?” Kate asked realising there was nothing in the garden that they could use as a bridge.

  “You could jump,” Finn said and Kate burst out laughing, but then realised he was serious.

  “I can’t jump that far,” Kate replied. “I will break my bloody neck.”

  “Yes you can, I will catch you,” Finn said and laughed at the top of his lungs.

  “You’ll catch me?” Kate repeated.

  “I will,” he nodded and smiled. “You just have to trust me.”

  “Trust you?” Kate repeated his words once again.

  “You know you can trust me,” Finn said, and the sincerity in his voice touched Kate’s heart. She knew he meant more than just catch her when she jumped.

  “I know I can,” she replied. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  “Okay, on the count of three,” Finn said, as he widened his stance, so he was more stable and raised his hands. “Okay, one, two…”

  “Wait, wait, wait!” Kate said, urgently “One, two, three and then go?”

  “If that is better for you,” Finn nodded, then raised his hands again. “Okay, one, two, three.”

  Kate jumped across the deck into Finn’s out-stretched arms and screamed, as he tumbled backwards onto the grass, landing with a bump, as Kate landed on top of him.

  Kate couldn’t contain her laughter, as Finn groaned beneath her.

  “I think you may have killed me,” he said breathlessly, still holding his breath. “But I didn’t let you fall.”

  “No you didn’t,” Kate said with a nervous giggle, as she looked down into his eyes, their faces so close, their noses were almost touching. She could feel his warm breath on her face. Neither said a word for a couple of moments. As Kate stared down into his eyes, she could barely breathe.

  Finally, Finn leaned up and pressed his lips softly against Kate’s. He slipped his arms back around her waist and pulled her tighter to him.

  For a moment Kate didn’t respond, but finally she returned his kiss, softly at first. Then as his kiss deepened, she kissed him harder in return.

  Suddenly her mind cleared and she knew she needed to stop this, this was wrong.

  “I can’t,” she whispered against his mouth. Then without saying another word, she stood up and headed out her side gate, straight to her front door, hurrying inside she slammed it behind her. She slumped against the door and slid down it until she reached the floor.

  “Kate,” she heard Finn say through the door. “Kate, please open the door. I am sorry, just let me see you are okay.”

  Kate didn’t respond, instead she buried her face in her hands and began to cry.

  Why should she feel like this, Callum did this to them, not her. He found someone else without even thinking about
her, why should she have to think of him?

  But she just wasn’t ready, she wasn’t ready to move on. She still loved Callum, and her heart was still broken. As much as she liked Finn, and she did like him, she just wasn’t ready to take that step yet.

  Chapter 10

  Kate woke with a start and was surprised to find herself lying on the hall floor of her house, surrounded in darkness. She moved slowly and groaned loudly. She was stiff from falling asleep on the hard, wooden floor of her hallway.

  “Kate,” Finn’s voice came through the door, startling her. She couldn’t believe he was still outside her front door. She had no idea how long she had been asleep or how long he had been outside her front door, but he was still there. “Kate, I am going nowhere till I know you are okay. Please, I’m sorry for upsetting you, again.”

  Kate sat quietly and listened to Finn, as he spoke. She didn’t know what she should think of this man, who was a relative stranger, sitting outside her door. She wondered if she should be scared by his determination, but something told her she had no need to be.

  “I know you don’t know me,” he continued, as if he was reading her mind. “And right now, I am probably the last person you want to talk to. I just want to be sure you are okay.”

  He didn’t speak for a few minutes and Kate began to wonder if he had left. She moved slowly, inching herself closer to the door and propped herself against it.

  “You know,” Finn said finally and Kate knew he was leaning against the door on the far side. “When my mom died, Dad gave up. She was his best friend and the love of his life. He just didn’t want to go on without her. Sara and I had to go to his house every day and make sure he ate, some day’s to just make sure he even got out of bed. He did get up, but not because he wanted to. He did because we didn’t give him a choice.”

  He stopped talking for a moment and Kate pressed her ear against the door. She could hear him breathing.

  “Eventually, he got up each day without needing us to tell him to,” Finn finally said. “But he had stopped smiling. He didn’t talk about Mom. It was just too hard for him, I guess. After a while, he did eventually start to talk about her again. But it was always with such sadness when he did.”

  Kate listened to what Finn was saying and it made her feel sad. Sad for Jack for losing his best friend. Sad for Finn and his sister for losing their mother, and for having to watch their father fall apart.

  She remembered her own dad when her mother passed away, he had been so strong. All he cared about was her and her two brothers. He sheltered them as much as he could. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if he had given up. If he had lost the will to fight, the will to live. For the first time, she wondered just how hard it had been for him to keep going when her mother died.

  “Kate, the other day when you were in my father’s house,” Finn continued, bringing Kate back to the one sided conversation. “For the first time since Mom died, Dad lit up when he talked about her. He loved her so much, and for the first time since we lost her, when he talked to you about her, he wasn’t afraid to show that. Kate you have brought him back to life.”

  Kate brushed away the tears that had suddenly welled in her eyes and broke free.

  “I came here today to say…” Finn said, as he struggled for the right words to say. “I wanted to say I was sorry for upsetting you the other night. I know I came on a little strong and it scared you. And then, today I…well, I messed up again and I am so sorry, but my dad…well my dad has talked none stop about you and about my mother for the past few days. I wanted to ask you to come and see him again. I know he would love to see you.”

  Kate was surprised by Finn’s request. She had enjoyed her afternoon with both him and Jack, but they were strangers and the truth was, she came here for space and time alone. Not to be dropped into the center of someone else’s family, someone else’s grief. She had enough of her own.

  “I would have called,” Finn continued. “But it seems you have decided not to take my calls, so I came around here, and took a shot.”

  Kate cringed, as she thought of all the calls she had ignored lately, and not just from Callum.

  “Kate,” Finn said and she could hear him move about outside the door and his voice now seemed a little clearer. “If you never want to see or hear from me again, I will respect your wishes. I just ask that you don’t blame my dad for my stupid behaviour.”

  Kate was touched by what he said. She knew it had taken a lot for him to have come there today and say this to her. She stood up and moved closer to the door, but she didn’t open it. Instead she pressed her forehead against it and sighed deeply.

  “I will leave you in peace now, if that’s what you want,” Finn said, finally coming to the conclusion, she was never going to open the door. “But before I go, it’s Dad’s birthday on Saturday and I know he would be so happy if you could stop by for a while, just to say hi.”

  Kate stood for a moment, not sure what she should do. She liked Jack and if she was really honest she liked Finn too. In fact, she liked him more than she thought she should have, and that scared her.

  She could hear footsteps as Finn walked from her front porch and stepped down on to the gravel driveway. Kate hesitated for a moment but then quickly turned the latch on her front door.

  As she stepped out the door onto the front porch, Finn stopped, turned back to her and gave her a breath-taking smile.

  “I’m sorry,” he said taking a couple of steps back towards her, then stopping.

  “You did nothing wrong,” Kate shrugged, as her eyes dropped to the steps of the porch, she felt like a total bitch for how she had treated him. She blinked away the tears that had pooled in her eyes.

  “Yes I did,” Finn said taking another cautious step closer. “I acted like a presumptuous ass.”

  “Yes, you did,” Kate laughed, feeling less uncomfortable. She allowed her eyes to meet Finn’s.

  “I am not going to lie to you,” Finn said, taking yet another step closer and closing the distance between him and Kate. “I like you Kate, I like you a lot. However, if all you want is to be friends, then I would rather be your friend than the man you are running away from.”

  “That’s all I can offer you Finn,” Kate replied, honestly. “There is so much about me you don’t know, so much you can’t even imagine. And right now, I just can’t tell you.”

  “You don’t have to say a word,” Finn said as he took the final step towards her and reached out his hand. “Friends it is.”

  “Friends it is,” Kate said with a smile as she took his hand and shook it firmly.

  “And Saturday?” he added hopefully.

  “I will call by for a little while,” Kate replied and smiled.

  “Excellent!” he exclaimed and Kate was surprised how genuinely happy he seemed. “Okay then, I will see you on Saturday, about three-ish.”

  “Okay,” Kate said with a half-laugh. She stood and watched Finn, as he hurried down the walkway to his car, then, after quickly turning back to Kate and giving her one of his gorgeous smiles, he climbed into the car and drove away.

  Kate headed back into the house and made her way straight to the kitchen. She was suddenly hungry and wanted to make herself something to eat. She decided on some pasta.

  As she prepared her food, she couldn’t help but giggle to herself and she thought of Finn. What must he have thought when he arrived to find her trapped on her own back porch, because of her epically stupid mistake.

  She thought of their kiss, and although she knew she wasn’t ready to take such a huge step, she couldn’t deny she liked Finn and if she was honest, she was excited at the thought of seeing him again.

  Suddenly, she thought of Callum. She remembered a time when she felt silly and excited about seeing him. There was a time, she couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from him for even the shortest of times.

  Kate wondered what he was doing right at that moment and how he was. She missed him. She miss
ed everything about him. Kate didn’t doubt that she still loved Callum. In truth, she loved him so much she could barely breathe.

  However, love wasn’t the problem. The problem was they had let each other down, they had hurt each other and were just no good for each other anymore.

  She wanted Callum to be happy again but she knew she could never make him happy the way she once did. Too much had happened.

  When her food was ready, she took it to the living room, curled up on the sofa and switched on the telly.

  She looked down at her pasta and thought of the first time she had cooked for Callum, she had made him chicken pasta bake, once of her specialities. But it didn’t quite work out the way she had hoped it would have.

  They had been seeing each other for about a week, in fact they had been almost inseparable. Kate really liked Callum, but they had yet to take their relationship to the next level, even though they had spent almost every night together since they first met.

  Callum had spent the day in meetings and was running late. Kate had decided she would make him chicken pasta bake. She had just slipped it into the oven when he called to say he was delayed. She turned the heat down on the oven and decided to make the most of Callum’s delay, and ran herself a bath.

  She lay soaking in the hot water and bubbles when the intercom sounded.

  “Damn,” Kate cried, as she quickly climbed out of the bath, wrapped her dressing gown around herself and hurried to the speaker next to the door.

  “Hello,” Kate said breathlessly when she pressed the button.

  “It’s me,” Callum’s voice boomed through the speaker on the wall. “I managed to wrap things up quicker than I thought I would. So I thought I would surprise you.”

  “Come on up,” Kate chirped and smiled, happy he had arrived early. While she waited for him to climb the stairs, she hurried into the kitchen and turned the heat up in the oven.

  She heard Callum tap on her front door. She quickly hurried back to the door to let him in.