Divine: A Novel

by Jayce, Aven

  The alumni center is one of the original buildings on campus and first used as a library, changing into a science building before being used for other random classes. In the back is a large open space with a wall of windows and plants everywhere. It’s bright and reminds me of a greenhouse, humid as well. The Kellers’ catering company has a buffet of food set up in the middle of this open room, but people spend most of their time socializing instead of actually eating. Tables are out but not being used, and when someone does fill a plate, they eat standing up while staying within their circle of acquaintances.

  I feel awkward and bored out of my mind, anxious as well. When I finally see Dan, he’s too busy to approach, but I keep an eye on him, waiting for an opportunity when he’s alone so we can talk.

  Without causing a scene. Remember, Richard said not to cause a scene.

  I catch him laughing with his workers, and then his face changes almost immediately, as if he quickly remembered his arrest. He’s putting on a decent show, being professional and in charge as I’d expect, but I can also sense that he’s tense. He catches me staring a few times and reacts with a nod or a wink.

  “Hi Professor.”

  Oh, it’s the shit pot.

  “Hannah,” I nod. My God, I can’t believe her sorority not only has sweatshirts with their Greek letters embroidered across the front, but dresses as well. It’s hideously butt-ugly. White satin with pink lettering, pink lace fringe along the bottom, and puffy sleeves. Is she attending a debutante’s ball?

  “Professor? Why do you enjoy porn so much?”

  I clasp my hands tightly behind my back so I don’t do anything foolish, like dragging her by her bouncing ponytail over to the punch bowl for a face dunk.

  “Why do you put on a sweet and innocent act in front of everyone when in reality you’re nothing more than a cold-hearted beast?”

  Okay, I didn’t actually say that. But it would’ve been great to stoop to her level for once. I’d love to be downright nasty right to her face.

  Hannah bobs away with a smile as if she just won some big stuffed animal at the county fair. That’s all she said, that one thing to me and then off she went. Little pissant. I’m unsure if the pop-ups in my guest bedroom spurred that comment or if there’s more to her question than meets the eye. I’ll be peeved if she, of all people, found out about the mistake I made viewing those sites in my office. Richard would’ve kept that to himself, but maybe not the person in Campus Operations.

  No, she’s coming back over and she’s bringing her father. Fuck.

  “Professor, I’d like you to meet my dad.”

  “Professor Hallowell,” he nods and shakes my hand. “So you have my lovely daughter, Hannah, in your class this semester?”

  “That’s correct; she’s a good student.”

  That’s the bullshit that flies out of every faculty member’s mouth when meeting a parent.

  Your daughter’s wonderful.

  She’s doing extremely well and has so much potential in this field of study.

  She’s smart, organized, and one of my top students.

  And the one that really gets to a parent’s heart...

  You must be very proud.

  They love hearing those words, but after I mention that Hannah’s a good student, her father shakes his head and gives me the I’m not an idiot look. Okay, he knows.

  “Dad, I am a good student. Don’t make faces.”

  Actually, I was telling the truth. Hannah usually gets strong B’s in my class, but the B also stands for bitch. I never said anything about her personality to him, just her work.

  “I see,” he says. “So tell me, how long have you worked here?”

  “A few years.”

  “Tenured?”

  “Not yet.”

  “And how well do you know Daniel Keller?”

  Now I’m starting to sweat. Where’s Richard when I need him? Why isn’t he cutting in this time? I look around the room and find him piling food onto a plate at the buffet. Damn, I wish he’d look over this way.

  “I... I’m not sure I should answer that question.” I know this guy’s a lawyer and I don’t like this one bit. Not one bit.

  He smirks and puts his arm around his daughter, pulling her closer to him. “Well, I’m thankful my Hannah wasn’t out biking with Luke that night. Mr. Keller may have killed both of them.”

  “Dan didn’t kill anyone. And I’d like to know what happened to Hannah that night.” I turn and stare directly into her eyes. “I saw you early the next morning covered in mud.”

  Her father gives her an inquisitive look.

  “I don’t have anything to hide. My sisters and I had a midnight drunken volleyball tournament in the backyard.”

  “Of course,” I whisper.

  “I was in a frat on this campus back in the day and we played drunken volleyball all the time. What are you getting at, Professor Hallowell? You think my daughter was out rolling around in the mud with some guy while her boyfriend was dead in a ditch?”

  Jesus, he’s just like her, or she’s just like him.

  “N- n-no,” I stutter.

  “I still think she’s involved somehow,” Hannah says to her dad. “Bridgette said the two of them were together that night. And why is that monster here? Shouldn’t he be in jail? I’m calling Bridgette to find out what’s going on. Her brother needs to be punished and put away in a straight jacket like Hannibal Lector.”

  “Don’t worry sweetheart, he’ll be behind bars after the trial,” her father says.

  “I don’t need to listen to this shit.”

  “Gee, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize a discussion about a hit and run that cost a man his life would be considered shit,” her father states as if I’m being cross-examined on the stand. “Is that what you would like to call this conversation? Luke’s life is meaningless shit?”

  My lips twitch in anger. “Listen,” I point to his face. “I’m sure this was an accident and it sucks balls that everyone keeps saying...”

  With a quick tug I’m yanked backward and away from the conversation of emotional abuse.

  “Did I just hear the words ‘sucks balls’ come from your mouth?” Richard whispers as he guides me toward the buffet table. He picks up his plate and motions for me to get some food.

  “I don’t want to hear you defend yourself or anything else about what just occurred. Hannah’s family is one of the wealthiest in town, and that’s all I’m going to say. Next time just walk away.”

  “Fine,” I mutter with my head down. Easy for him to say. Men will never understand how a woman feels to be verbally attacked by a man. “But, you know...”

  “Div, stop,” Richard says. “I’ve been speaking with a few of the Trustees and we’ll get our answer tomorrow about the future of your department, for now, nothing else gets said about the students, Daniel Keller, Luke Barnes, or Margaret Cole. I’m through babysitting and taking the fall for the bad behavior of everyone around me.”

  Wow, does that include me? Is he serious? I’m the one who deals with all of this crap. What is he talking about, taking the fall? Wait; his tone, his comments, none of this sounds good.

  “Do you have a sense of the Trustees decision?” I ask, trying to keep my composure.

  “To be honest, I would say pack your bags, that’s my gut feeling. But, I have a thought about something that may change their minds.”

  Is this for real or is he trying to scare me? I might lose my job? I was worried about it, for sure, and I know I thought of resigning, running away, and prayed my novels would take off so I could call myself an author and not a professor, but deep down inside, this place is starting to grow on me. Not necessarily all of the people here, but the environment’s seeping into my veins.

  Plus, everything’s gonna be better now. The Trustees should wait and see what happens now that Margaret’s gone. What college would dump a department that’s been around longer than sliced bread? The Home Economics program began in the early ‘2
0s. Originally called Homemaking, it thrived for close to a century. And Design was added in the ‘90s and is doing fairly well, considering the ongoing feuds. Gone? Just like that? He’s kidding.

  “Are you going to ask about my idea?” he stares with a raised brow.

  “Sorry, your comment took me off guard.”

  Richard laughs and shoves two pieces of shrimp into his mouth, dripping cocktail sauce down the front of his shirt. It goes unnoticed for now. “Off guard? We’ve only been discussing the possibility for weeks.”

  “Sorry, what are your thoughts?”

  I let him finish chewing while I snack on carrots and scan the room for Dan, who I see speaking to Hannah by the back door. Crap, that can’t be good.

  “I’d like you to do me a favor.” He takes a set of keys out of his pocket and places them in my hand. “Go over to Margaret’s building.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, I need this information today.”

  Dan shakes his head and puts up his hand in defense of whatever’s spewing out of Hannah’s mouth.

  “You listening?”

  “Yeah, go ahead,” I say, still watching the conversation taking place behind Richard’s back.

  “Div, look at me for a moment.”

  My eyes move from Dan and Hannah to the seriousness in Richard’s face.

  “I think this department has lot more money than anyone realizes,” he whispers.

  “What do you mean? Like, Margaret has a will leaving her estate to us?” I laugh, knowing she always spent her money frivolously on things like summer trips to Sydney, Australia and cruises over winter break along the Florida Coast. The woman didn’t have any savings, which is why she never retired.

  “You see that man over there?” he nods in the direction of an older guy chuckling with other alumni. “He asked me what we did with the twenty grand he donated to us last year.”

  “Whoa. I didn’t hear of any money coming in.”

  “Me either,” he smiles suspiciously.

  Okay, that woman is still haunting this department. “Let me guess, the donor made the check out to Margaret?”

  “A few checks made out to Margaret. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why. She was Chair years ago and back then Chairs did handle many of the donations for their departments, but even so, that would mean it’s been going on for decades.”

  “Ah,” I slide my hand down my face while shaking my head. “Why don’t you just ask him to give this information to the Trustees?”

  He gives me a look like I’m an idiot. “I could, but then we’ll probably never see another dime from him, and personally, if the department does continue on, it would be nice to have funding coming in from somewhere.”

  “Good point,” I say, concealing my disgust with him. What a load of horse pucky. “Alright, I’ll head over and see if I come across anything.”

  And if I do, the information’s going to the cops, not Richard. I’m not about to become a member of this man’s peon-sneaky-dishonest-asinine-Jesus in khaki’s club.

  “All I’m asking is for you to bring me any information you come across from donors, no matter the date. I need those records anyway, so even if you don’t find anything out of the ordinary, the old records are still important. It’s on my mind since it’s the hot topic of discussion today.” Richard takes a handful of shrimp and walks away. God, at this point a root canal would actually be more pleasant than any of this.

  I look around and Dan’s no longer in the room or the malicious swine, Hannah, either. But on my way outside I spot her and a few of her sorority friends on the sidewalk in front of the building.

  Great, the worst part of my job is always walking past students I despise. I imagine one day they’ll throw rotten eggs at my head and then Richard will tell me to walk away and let it go.

  “Hey bitch,” Hannah fumes.

  “What did you say to me?”

  “You wanna know what I just heard, bitch?”

  She ignores my authority, what little I have around these kids, and continues to assail my heart and my mind with her wickedness.

  “Daniel Keller’s sister took the fall for him! I hate him and I HATE you!” she screams. “Both of you are fucking morons if you think I’m going to let Bridgey do this!”

  “What?”

  “He’s a murderer and like all murderers he’s glad to let someone else take the blame! Bridgette’s in jail!” Her voice echoes across campus as her friends herd around her like cattle. “How could he do this to his own sister!”

  I take a step back. And another. I’m not dumb, Dan wouldn’t do that to his sister, but what that means is that Bridgette really was the one. What the fuck happened? Why that night? The poor girl must be scared to death.

  “You bitch!” Hannah picks up a rock and motions as if it’s about to be pitched at my face.

  “Don’t even try it. Put the goddamn rock down, Hannah.” I say as calmly as I can to a crazy person.

  “Put it down,” one of her friends whispers while another holds her hand so she can’t toss it.

  “He’s such a dick!” She calls after me as I slip out of my heels and run toward the back parking lot.

  I can’t believe his sister’s responsible for this. How could she not come forward sooner, when Dan was first arrested?

  I bet she was terrified.

  And at the ice cream parlor she played it off as if I had something to do with Luke’s death. Me! I bet the sorority was her hideout. She was probably there for days drunk off her ass while her brother was in jail and his parents were in agony.

  As I round the corner of the building I see Dan leaning against one of the vans talking on his cell. He hangs up and I find myself in the same scene as when I first arrived, only this time I don’t stand around and contemplate running into his arms, I actually do it.

  Wow, it IS a Lifetime movie. The only thing missing is the tagline that mentions it’s based on actual events. Go hug that man!

  I drop my shoes and sprint across the pavement, pulling him into a deep embrace.

  “It was your sister?” I whisper.

  He sighs and places a hand on the back of my head. “Yeah. She came home last night and my parents went with her to the station this morning.”

  “God, I’m so sorry,” I say, gripping him tighter.

  “I can’t even imagine all she went through to do this. It must have been deliberate. But why? Why ruin her entire life over Luke Barnes?”

  “You think it was deliberate?”

  “She would’ve had to bike or walk the two miles from campus to my place to get my truck. That’s definitely premeditated.”

  “Does she have a key?”

  “To my place, not my car,” he covers his eyes. “My entire family has a key to my front door, but the car keys aren’t difficult to find once you walk inside,” he exhales. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything you can do except be supportive.”

  He nods at my unhelpful answer. “And my parents are a wreck. I’ve never seen either one of them cry as much as they did when I was arrested and now with her... they’re so fucked up. Everything’s so fucked up.” He takes a deep breath. “I told the detective I didn’t know what happened or how the dent and marks got on my truck besides the incident at the hotel. I was telling the truth. I really don’t know any of the details. But as you can imagine, I’m sure he thought I was lying. And now Bridgette’s coming forward. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say again. “What do you think went wrong that night? Something must have ignited all of this.”

  “She won’t say. She’s not saying much of anything except that she’s responsible.”

  He lifts my chin with his fingers so he can see my face. I smile for a split second, relieved to have an answer to this mess, but understand this is hell for him.

  “Fuck, I know it’s hard to tell right now, but you make me so damn happy,” he offe
rs a weak smile back, putting a spell back on my heart.

  Yeah, like it ever left.

  A Keller employee walks outside with an empty tray and interrupts before our behind the alumni center afternoon kiss has a chance to emerge.

  “Come over tonight so we can talk a few things out.” he says. “Maybe even start over?”

  “No,” I shake my head. “I don’t want to start over, let’s just continue where we left off.”

  “Thank you,” he whispers. “I’ve really missed you.”

  Okay, I admit, his words are endearing and heartfelt. He’s good, the type of guy impossible to stay angry at.

  The things I’m upset about now are minor compared to what was in my head the other day.

  Dan gets back to work and I head over to Margaret’s building, walking under budding trees, past blooming tulips and daisies, listening to the chirping birds (they’re everywhere), and inhaling the freshly cut lawn. I know he’s down, but I feel incredible. Hannah and her friends are no longer in sight and this side of campus is like a ghost town on a Sunday afternoon. It’s a private sanctuary all to myself.

  Margaret’s building still smells like cookies and rubber cement when I enter through the back door. And unlocking her office and entering her space is eerie. Even though she passed away at home, I can sense that she’s here, in this building. It’s an odd feeling stepping inside and an even odder feeling going through her things.

  She has an ancient computer, one that college kids today would think was an old television set. Bulky, square, with a curved screen and a giant keyboard. There are a few folders on her desktop including her syllabi, class rosters, and, ug, a folder of baking recipes. How dreadful to think parents are spending thirty grand a year for their kids to learn to make pancakes.

  I turn to her filing cabinets and exhale when I start to count... eighteen. She has eighteen, four-drawer cabinets in her office filled with papers.

  There are decades upon decades of student files, paperwork from committees, receipts, scholarship applications, emails... she printed every email she received! That’s no joke. She has folders going back to the ‘90s of emails from people on campus. I don’t get why she didn’t store these on her computer. But then again, I can picture Margaret trying to figure out the internet when it was first invented, and being worried that once she opened her mail the message might disappear forever. It’s just like her to have a hard copy of... shit, those are my initials. DH. Sure enough, I have my own folder full of emails she’s printed, starting with my first day as a faculty member when she welcomed me aboard to what she termed as the great crazy train.