The Unsuspecting Housewife

by Olivia Charles

  Terry smiled in satisfaction of the day’s achievements as he began to drive away but could not resist a last glance in the direction of the cottage where he caught sight of what was obviously Henrietta’s car tucked away at the side of the house and bearing a personalised plate.

  “Oh, H3TTY. You won’t be able to hide from me in that!” He said out loud and grinned.

  November 2004.

  A couple of days later as Henrietta and Oscar returned home in the dark from his swimming lesson, she accidentally caught and snapped the cheap nylon cord as she climbed out of her car and was unable to prevent the phone sliding down her leg and directly into the path of a passing car. She picked up the expensive shiny crushed scrap from the tarmac and took it inside.

  The following morning she reluctantly re-visited the phone shop with what was left of the appliance to see what could be salvaged. Terry laughed out loud:

  “What do you expect me to do with that? I’m a salesman, not a flipping magician! I bet you wish you’d taken the insurance I offered you now, don’t you?”

  Henrietta was crestfallen and grumbled miserably as Terry took another identical mobile from the shelf and started to key the sale into his till.

  “Woah, I can’t buy another one!”

  “I doubt that madam, but I’m afraid I’ve already sold your old phone, as I have an ex-wife and three kids to feed.” Terry was surprised to see how careful she was with money and felt unusually obligated to offer her an alternative second hand phone but made sure that the device would continually default to predictive text, an application which he knew she loathed and therefore she would hopefully have to make an additional trip to seek his help. He was excited by the prospect of seeing her again which was sooner than he expected.

  Henrietta had difficulty with the ‘different brain’ technology and became increasingly irritated and frustrated. One morning whilst in the post office, she grasped the phone in her clenched fist, deserted her place in the queue and bound up the street in her Hunter wellingtons towards Terry’s shop. An earlier customer swerved out of Henrietta’s way as she strode towards the counter. Terry smiled broadly and warmly.

  “Good morning madam, lovely to see you again. Have you decided to buy another Nokia after all?”

  “No, please sort this one out. It keeps choosing its own words!” She put the phone on the counter for him to ‘mend’.

  “Predictive text is not to madam’s liking?” He prised the phone open with a little tool.

  “It is not. I object to a machine choosing what I want to say!” Henrietta realised how preposterous she sounded. “Well really, should they?” She laughed at her behaviour.

  “Not a good day, madam? But I have to ask; where on earth are you going on a weekday dressed in those?” He pointed to her wellingtons and waxed jacket and smirked.

  “I’m going to the car wash, actually.”

  “And you have an outfit specifically for that purpose, do you? How spiffing!” He laughed heartily and made Henrietta laugh too. “Not at work again I notice, but here, your phone is mended.” Henrietta amused him and as he wanted to see more of her, he had taken the opportunity to track her phone to his, which ensured that over the following weeks he was able to un-accidentally bump into her and cultivate a rapour.

  On one of those occasions, as Henrietta predictably parked her car for free near the bridge, with her resident permit between the hours of 8-10am, Terry approached her, to complement her appearance and to comment on her smart but casual attire.

  “Not going to work yet again? Lucky you! Are you a kept woman?” He teased cheekily.

  “No I am not! I’ve worked hard in the past. Not now though, I admit.” She smiled back.

  “I think I’d like to be you; floating about all day in expensive country outfits. Perhaps we could get together over a coffee or a meal, as my treat and you could give me some useful pointers? What are you doing this evening for supper?” He ignored her baffled expression. “Tell you what, I’ll bring a take-away. Six thirty? Do you like Chinese? Everyone does.”

  Henrietta flippantly nodded, backed away and disappeared into the Co-op without believing for a moment that Terry was serious.

  That evening she prepared supper as usual but before she had time to serve the meal there was a loud knock on her front door. She opened it to Terry who held up two white plastic carrier bags containing at least twenty foil containers of assorted Cantonese dishes. She was surprised that he found her cottage so easily and was equally flabbergasted by his extravagance. Oscar however was delighted at the prospect of eating real Chinese food at home, no matter who brought it, as there were no deliveries to their remote village. Hetty’s prepared beef casserole was covered with foil and abandoned.

  “Nice place. Who else live here, have I brought enough food?” Terry’s eyes darted all over the tasteful furnishings and framed photographs.

  “I think you’ve brought enough food for the entire village, but it’s just the two of us.”

  Terry could not control his blatant grin. Henrietta felt rather flattered.

  “Red or white wine?” She walked into the kitchen and reached into an antique pine dresser for two stemmed glasses.

  “Red please, but not a vase full, I’ve got to drive home.” His apartment was in the city and approximately twelve miles away.

  Henrietta laid the large pine table with fruit juice and a fork for Oscar and wine and chopsticks for herself and her guest. Whilst dining, there was another knock on the front door.

  “Goodness me, out here?” She excused herself and opened the door to a small brunette woman wrapped in a warm coat and knitted scarf who smiled broadly over the petals of a huge bouquet of expensive flowers.

  “Henrietta?” She enquired with visible breath in the night air. Henrietta nodded. “For you.” She said as she thrust the flowers toward Hetty then dashed back to the warmth of her white sign- written florists van. Hetty was perplexed as she returned from the chill of the front door to the warm fire lit dining room with her arms full of blooms but no card or message. Terry teased her about a secret admirer, which she denied. He giggled at his own little joke then confessed that they were from him and he congratulated himself on an excellent way to establish whether there was another man standing in his way.

  Terry did not overstay his welcome and departed shortly after supper. He gave her a peck on the cheek with dry and nervous lips and Hetty wondered if she had been over cautious, for he seemed very friendly and kind and harmless. She waved to him from the doorway as he left in the darkness and she returned to the dishwasher and to find a large vase before she and Oscar could cuddle up on the sofa and watch TV.

  Once in his car, Terry turned on the heated seat and phoned his friend and business associate Aiden on his ‘hands free’ and excitedly told him all about Henrietta and his intentions as he drove home in the dark:

  “Aiden, I’m in love, I’ve found my next wife and I’ve found you a new client. Everyone’s a winner!”

  “Terry, aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself? What if she doesn’t need a financial advisor and isn’t interested in you? Can you afford another relationship if it doesn’t work out according to your perfect plan again? Remember Debbie? Remember Claire?”

  “Aiden, Aiden, my cynical, pragmatic little dwarf mate, believe and conceive! Don’t spoil this chance for me to be happy. Remember I’m a sales man. Have faith! Besides, this woman could never be a financial burden as she’s got plenty of her own money and great credit ‘coz I checked her out. She is divorced and says she has retired. What does that tell you? She’s also got a home straight out of House and Garden and a flash new car. In fact she wants for nothing except someone to love her and put some excitement in her life and I want to be the man.” He clicked off the connection and drove home happier and more buoyant than he had been in many months.

  January 2005.

  Terry and Henrietta’s paths did not seem to cross for a while as she had been busy with fa
mily and friends over the Christmas break and had also arranged a winter holiday in the Dubai sunshine with her son. Terry had also taken his children away on a skiing trip to Canada, as he loved spending money on his children and enjoyed teaching them as many sporting activities as his time with them would allow. However Henrietta constantly came to mind whenever Terry had quiet time and as his children lay exhausted in their beds, he drank Jack Daniels and coke, picked up a postcard from the hotel’s complimentary desk set and wrote to Hetty, hoping the card would be waiting on her door mat for her return from holiday.

  Then on his final night in Banff, he phoned her from his hotel room.

  “Hi, it’s me. This is the most fantastic place. It is classy and magical. You should be here, it is so you! We saw moose right outside the restaurant window this morning at breakfast. Mooses with antlers and everything.” He flourished with child-like excitement.

  “Lovely. Terry?”

  “Of course it’s me! Who else do you know in Canada with moose? Didn’t you get my postcard? Anyway I’m home tomorrow so I wanted to ask you if you’d sort out a sitter for Oscar because I’d like to take you out for a meal.”

  She was surprised by the gesture and questioned how he had remembered her address and her ex-directory home phone number. He was forced to admit that he carried them with him at all times. He was keen!

  On Friday he appeared on time in his freshly valeted new car and took Henrietta out of town to an Asian restaurant where he charmed her with his good manners and knowledge of international cuisine. He talked fluidly and told her several humorous stories about his recent holiday and his children, whom he clearly adored, and told stories of his own childhood. It seemed he was the youngest of five children and his father had been a successful market trader who had provided a large home for the family, whilst his mother was a dedicated housewife who wanted for nothing. He told Henrietta that his mother became unwell in her forties and he had been sent to boarding school where he rebelled but excelled at the sporting curriculum. She could not help warming towards Terry and genuinely enjoyed his company and laughed frequently at the comical delivery of his warm and funny stories. She was however relieved that although he smelled delicious in expensive French cologne, he made no move on her. In fact, as the couple stood in Henrietta’s hallway that evening saying their ‘good-byes’, Terry did no more than offer Henrietta a fleeting kiss on her lips.

  The following afternoon as she leaned against her warm AGA sipping coffee and staring out of the kitchen window at a group of speckled socked hikers, the phone rang.

  “Hiya, gorgeous. What you up to?”

  “Just taking a break and warming my feet on the cooker. I’ve had a busy day but now it’s time to watch out for Oscar. No doubt the homework fight will begin after supper as usual.”

  “You do a marvellous job of looking after your home and son, but you shouldn’t have to do it on your own. I think you’ve been on your own far too long and should marry me.”

  “I beg your pardon? Are you mad?” She scoffed and laughed.

  “I know it might sound a bit premature Henrietta, but I am as serious as a heart attack. We would be a great couple and we’d make a great family. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

  “But we’ve just met and we’re just friends.” It was as much a question as an answer.

  “Being friends is a wonderful start. If only all married couples were friends, there’d be no divorces.” Terry chuckled nervously. “So, what do you say?”

  “But I hardly know you and I have absolutely no...” she struggled for a polite explanation; “carnal knowledge of you what so ever! It might not work between us.”

  “Believe me it works! I’ve got three kids already.” He chuckled again and said that a sexual relationship was something for him to look forward to if she was offering. Hetty put down the phone and automatically replaced the mug of coffee with an early glass of red wine. Her head was spinning as she replayed the conversation in her head and tried to rationalise whether the man was deluded and having a relationship on his own or whether she had completely missed something.

  Meanwhile Terry felt satisfied that he had acted bravely and stood up from his repose, hidden from public view behind the shop counter and strolled over to unlock the shop door and remove the ‘Back in 5 mins’ sign.

  February 2005.

  Henrietta was deeply troubled by the telephone conversation and avoided both Terry and her friends for a few days whilst she wondered how to respond. She had longed to be wanted and have a man to propose to her but Terry’s proposal was unexpected and flippant, not the deeply romantic gesture she had waited so long for and she felt cheated and emotionally flat. She decided to pretend it had never happened and carry on as normal. When she did see her friends, she told them how romantic Terry was and they were glad to see Hetty enjoying the attention of a man. Her closest friend Ruth was not so easily pacified and was determined to meet and judge Terry for herself. She asked Henrietta to accompany her to buy the new mobile phone she had been deliberating over for months.

  The two girls went into Terry’s shop together and although Ruth did not purchase a phone that day, she was completely sold on Terry. When they left his shop they sauntered to a café for coffees and toasted teacakes.

  “So what do you think of him? I trust your opinion.”

  “I really like him and I can see why you do as he is very charming and I can tell he is very keen on you and tried hard to impress me. He has what seems to be a thriving business and you’ve told me he owns a nice new car. I think he would try to make you happy Hetty and that is what matters. You don’t have to marry him, just enjoy being made to feel special. I think you are special and I want you to be happy!”

  They parted with a hug and big smiles.

  Terry sent sentimental little texts to her phone and more flowers to her home and invited her and Oscar to go bowling with his three children who had all been instructed to be on their best behaviour. It was a jolly outing which ended at Pizza Express, as Terry’s treat.

  The oldest of the siblings was a strikingly attractive girl of fifteen with long dark glossy hair and large dark brown eyes, who judging by the ferocity of her text messaging, was evidently popular with her peers. Although her hobbies were amateur dramatics, dancing, make-up and celebrity watching, she was intelligent and outspoken and could hold her own in any debate or argument. She told Henrietta that she wanted to get her A’levels and go to University to become a human rights barrister. It seemed a plausible suggestion and a suitable career for her.

  The second of Terry’s children was an eleven year old boy who was small for his age but made up for his lack of stature with his enthusiasm for life, love of sport and a patter worthy of a street-wise home boy. He had no idea what he would like to do when reached adulthood but like all young boys, he wanted his career to include lots of sport and plenty of expendable cash.

  The youngest child was a little girl of almost four years old who was not blessed with the looks of her big sister but had inherited the same confidence and charm of her siblings and the same heart wrenching smile of her brother. She voiced a desire to be a famous dancer and showed her enthusiasm and talent to a full and enamoured restaurant. It was obvious that within a couple of decades she would break hearts. For now though, the little girl was adamant that she would sit beside Henrietta who was seemingly her new best friend. Terry was delighted that she was evidently happy and comfortable with Henrietta and would not create a problem crying for her mummy.

  March 2005.

  Terry became increasingly attentive, charming and affectionate and sent loving and humorous text messages every day to Henrietta’s phone. He told her how relieved he would be to receive the ‘Absolute’ in his divorce proceedings and that his only grievance was that he had let his children down by working too hard and neglecting their mother. He explained that he and Debbie had married when they were young and had subsequently both fallen out of love. He said that when
his wife unexpectedly announced that she was pregnant with their youngest child, he had tried to make more of an effort but once the little girl was born, neither of them could ignore the fact that they had not wanted a sexual relationship since her conception. He admitted his shame for wanting more materialistically and socially from life than Debbie and had moved out of the marital home to avoid the daily arguments. He said how he wished Henrietta had been the mother of his children, as they both had a desire to make the most of life and its experiences. He painted a rosy picture of how they could become the perfect family, something he realised she earnestly longed for and Henrietta began to look forward to his text messages and warmed to the prospect of a close and lasting relationship after a wasted decade.

  She accepted an invitation to his apartment for a supper he cooked himself and she was impressed by his culinary skill, his tidiness and his standard of living. She could not fail to notice the umpteen shiny trophies and the enormous panoramic school photograph from his time at a well-regarded public school for boys, which indicated that he was from a similar social and educational background to herself. She began to drop her silly prejudices about aesthetic perfection and dismissed the fact that he was not entirely tall, dark or handsome but knew that she would have to have sex with him at some point, even though she dreaded exposing her body to any man after such a long time celibate. Fortunately Terry never pushed the issue and merely commented that they had the rest of their lives ‘to get round to all that stuff.’ Instead he suggested that she might feel more comfortable if he took her to buy an engagement ring which would tell everyone that he was serious and that she had formally accepted his proposal.