“How are you always so calm about it?” I asked.
Jared shrugged. “I’m older than you and I was younger when it happened. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it. Not many people know the truth…” He paused, considering something. “Just me, you, and Dan.”
“That’s it?” I had just assumed that Patsy and Holden knew as well.
“Yep,” Jared nodded. “I don’t tell people, because it’s not exactly the kind of thing you tell just anyone,” he rubbed his face. “Dan pried it out of me and I swore him to secrecy. I know it would break Patsy’s heart if she… if she knew the truth. I mean, she knows about the beatings, but not the… other thing. I know Holden could handle the truth, but he doesn’t need to know. As for Karlie, she’s only sixteen and she believes in the good of the world, if I told her the whole truth, it would shatter that image. Knowing that I was abused and that our mother was murdered is enough. She doesn’t need to know what else was done to me.”
“Why tell me? Deal or no deal, you didn’t have to tell me.” I watched his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath.
“Katy, I’ve told you before. You’re special and I don’t want any lies or demons in the closet, between us. I want everything in our relationship to be based on the truth. I want you to know everything about me. How about we use today to further our ‘get to know’ session? Would that be good?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
He grinned crookedly. “Forget about getting a car today,” he said, hopping up from the bed. “Let’s be spontaneous.”
25
“Where are we going?” I asked Jared, with a mystified tone to my voice.
“Spontaneity, Katy. I have no idea, that’s the point of this. If we see somewhere we want to stop, we’ll stop. Until then, we just drive,” he shrugged.
I settled back into the seat and watched the streets flashing by.
“What about Karlie? Will we be back before she gets home?”
Jared rubbed his chin. “Katy, chill, okay? Karlie’s sixteen years old, she’ll be fine.” He glanced at me and winked.
“Is this like a road trip?”
“No,” he shook his head, “a road trip would mean we’d be gone for a while. This is just for today. We’ll be back home tonight. I’m not kidnapping you,” he peeked over at me. “Stop biting your finger.”
“Sorry, nervous habit,” I blushed, dropping my hand to my lap.
“I’ll add that to the list,” he chuckled, making a right turn.
“What list?” my voice came out all panicky. List for reasons why I was crazy?
He grinned at my reaction. “I’m just filing away things I learn about you.”
“Oh.” That wasn’t so bad.
“Did you ever have a pet growing up?” he asked.
“No,” I snorted. “My mom would have been afraid it might destroy her precious floors. Did you?”
“Dan and Patsy had a dog, it was some kind of mutt, but she was the sweetest thing ever. If you could have a pet, what would it be?” He asked, turning the volume on the radio down.
I thought for a moment. “A cat. I’ve always wanted a little gray cat. They’re so cute and fluffy.”
Jared shook his head, a laugh escaping from between his lips. “You just sounded like a normal girl.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re mean.”
He laughed. “What? It’s true. You’re voice went all girlish and high when you said, ‘cute and fluffy.’”
“Don’t mock me,” I blushed, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I’m not,” he said, “it’s nice to see that side of you.”
Wanting to steer the topic away from me, I asked him, “Besides fighting, what’s your favorite thing to do?”
“Um,” he mused, “a few months ago, I would’ve told you hanging out with Holden and acting like a normal twenty-four year old. Sometimes, I need a break… from Karlie. It gets a bit exhausting raising your kid sister, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. But now… my favorite thing to do… is spend time with you,” he glanced over at me, gauging my reaction.
“Oh,” was all I could say. I wasn’t expecting that.
He leaned his back against the seat. “I noticed you the moment you walked into that club. It was your beauty that first caught my eye,” he looked over at me with a grin and then turned back to the road. “I’m a guy. I couldn’t help it. But then, I got a good look at your eyes and I saw…” he took a deep breath. “I saw something in your eyes that I’ve only seen in my own. I knew then, that something bad had happened to you. I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t want to come off as creepy. So, I stayed back and I watched you-”
“Which isn’t creepy at all,” I interrupted him with a laugh so he’d know I was joking.
He chuckled, running a hand over his short hair. “I was mesmerized by you. I sat at the bar, sipping my beer, trying to think of some way to introduce myself without making you flee.” Jared’s hands suddenly tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, his jaw clenched. “And then that fucker put his hands on you and I saw your face, your fear. I would have gladly beaten him to a bloody fucking pulp, but I didn’t think that would score any points with you,” he winked. “I put my hand on you and damn,” he shook his head, “it was a jolt to my system. I asked you if you needed a ride, even though I knew you’d say no. Then I offered to help you find your friend. When you said your friend was a ‘him’ I saw red. I thought you had a boyfriend and I was so angry that I was going to lose you before I even knew you. When you told me he was just a friend and gay, I’ve never felt so relieved in my entire life. I took your hand and you tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let you. I needed to feel your skin on mine, to make sure you were real and not some figment of my imagination. You told me what Rollo looked like and I spotted him immediately, but kept steering you in the opposite direction. I just wanted a few more minutes with you. And then… you left. Like a dumbass, I didn’t get your number. But I’m guessing you wouldn’t have given it to me anyway,” he looked over at me for confirmation.
I laughed. “I wouldn’t have.”
“I decided then, that if by some miracle I ever saw you again, it would be destiny. When you came crashing into my training room, I was so pissed at first, but then you looked up and my stomach dropped out of my body. I knew then, that I would do whatever it took to get to know the girl with the pain filled eyes,” his voice filled the car, my head, and every crevice of my heart, “and that I would do anything to make happiness shine in her eyes again.”
I think I stopped breathing.
“There’s happiness in your eyes now, Katy, and I put that there,” he spoke fiercely, “and I will spend the rest of my life making sure it stays there.”
I was stunned into silence. Thankfully, Jared seemed to understand that I couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone speak.
We continued on down the road, while I tried to wrap my mind around his words.
I couldn’t believe that this crazy, beautiful man was so affected by me.
I was nothing special. I was just Katy.
But I felt it, the draw to him, like the one he felt towards me.
It was a pull that went beyond love, beyond human understanding. We were connected now, and we always would be.
~***~
“This place looks interesting,” Jared said, pulling off the road in a quaint town. He dropped some change into the parking meter before helping me out of the car.
I looked up and down the street, where unique little shops and restaurants took up residence.
“Where do you want to go first?” I asked Jared.
He shrugged. “I just thought it looked like a neat little town to explore. Wanna head this way and make a loop?” He pointed to his right.
“That’s good with me,” I said, falling into step beside him. “This was a good idea,” I said, looking down at my feet as I walked. “It’s nice to just get out, no desti
nation, no plan. It feels a lot like freedom.”
“That’s because it is freedom,” Jared said, stopping and staring up at the sky. The sun bathed him in a warm golden glow.
I watched him, the way the light played over his skin, the peaceful look on his face. I wanted that peace he possessed.
Jared tilted his head down and his eyes flickered to meet mine. “Our pasts don’t define us, Katy.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“No, you don’t,” he shook his head, pulling a pair of sunglasses from the collar of his shirt and sliding them on. “One day, you’ll understand that, but you don’t, not yet.”
He started walking again and I had to jog to keep up with his long stride. With a chuckle, he slowed his steps so that we were side by side.
“I want today to be about us. Just you and me. Katy and Jared. Not about our pasts and those that hurt us. For this one day, I want us to just be us, no baggage. Do you think you can do that?” Jared asked me.
“I can do that,” I said.
“Good,” he grinned crookedly, holding open a door to one of the various stores.
I went in first and was immediately taken by all the artwork. It was incredible. They were all landscapes and if I had to guess, I’d say they were done locally.
The woman behind the counter confirmed my theory. “Beautiful, aren’t they? A local artist does them.”
I turned around to face the kind looking woman. “They’re stunning,” I said, itching to reach my hand out and touch one.
The one I was most enamored by was of a sunset over a river. The trees and surrounding fauna were muted, the artist having chosen to focus on the sun and its reflection on the water. The water was so realistic that I was sure if I touched the canvas it would be wet.
I could hear Jared walking around the shop and speaking with the woman, but I was rooted to the spot.
I didn’t want to leave here without that picture.
I cleared my throat and the woman and Jared stopped talking. “Yes dear?” she asked.
“I want this,” I pointed over my shoulder at the canvas.
“It’s expensive,” she gave me a sympathetic look.
“I can afford it,” I told her. Or rather, my mother could afford it.
“Okay,” she said, coming over and removing the artwork from the wall. She rang it up and I slid a credit card across the counter.
“This is one of my favorites,” she said, wrapping up the painting.
I signed the receipt she had handed to me.
“Here you go dear,” she handed me a bag with the wrapped canvas.
Jared and I decided it would be better to go back to his car and leave the painting in it, than to carry it around all day.
On our way back from the car I spotted a shop that looked like it had a little of everything and Jared followed me inside.
The smell of coffee filled the homey shop. The walls were painted a golden yellow with cobalt blue trim. It seemed odd, but somehow it worked.
I got distracted by row after row of handmade wind chimes. I fingered one and smiled as the little bells dinged.
“Hey, look at this,” Jared said from behind me.
I turned around and found him standing there with a dream catcher.
“To keep your nightmares away,” he said, flicking it.
I watched it sway back and forth. “I don’t think anything is going to keep them away better than you,” I said, softly.
Jared grinned. “I’m buying it, anyway.”
He bought the dream catcher, and something else he wouldn’t let me see, before we went to the next store.
This one was full of candles, and Jared turned around pretty immediate, mumbling about getting a headache from the smell.
I laughed and gave the woman working there a sympathetic smile before running after Jared.
“Sorry,” he said, stopping so that I could catch up to him. “I shouldn’t have gone in there. Candles give me a headache.”
I laughed. “Then why did you?”
“I wasn’t paying attention,” he chuckled. “I’ll be on high alert now.” He motioned to a small bookstore. “Want to go in there?”
“Sure,” I said.
Jared opened the door and I stepped inside the small shop.
Every surface, even most of the floor, was covered in books, old and new.
I picked one up because I liked the cover and flicked through the first few pages, before skipping to the end.
“That’s cheating,” Jared said, his voice thick and syrupy, and close to my ear. I shivered at the proximity.
“No, it’s not,” I turned away from him and went back to skimming.
He chuckled. “It is. You’re supposed to read the whole thing before you get to the end.”
“I want to make sure there’s a happy ending,” I explained. “I hate reading a book where I’m completely invested with the characters and then there’s no happily ever after. Life doesn’t have one, but books should.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree,” Jared said huskily. “Do you read a lot?”
“No,” I put the book down. “I used to read more but now I just get bored with it.”
“Why do you think that is?” Jared asked, leaning against a wobbly shelf. I worried for a second that it was going to topple over, but it righted itself.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, picking up another book. “I guess so many books are just so full of drama and I mean, I get it. I do. It would be a pretty boring book without the drama. I just don’t like it,” I shrugged again.
“Hmm,” Jared mused, quietly from the corner.
“What are you thinking?” I put the other book down and put my hands in my pockets.
“You’re very strange, Katy Spencer, but I wouldn’t have you any other way,” he said, his brown eyes warming as he looked me up and down.
I melted under his heady gaze. “I could say the same about you, Jared.”
He chuckled and pulled away from the bookcase. “Yeah, you could, kitten.” He clutched his bag from the one store and asked, “Are you done here?”
“Nooo,” I drew out the word. “We’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve done nothing but question the way I choose a book and tell me I’m strange,” I winked.
He laughed and rubbed his jaw.
“Okay, look all you want,” he motioned to all the books. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be standing here.”
I laughed at him. “Yeah, standing there, glaring at me because I peek at the end.”
He threw his head back and laughed, a real belly laugh. “You’re right about that. Here’s a wild idea, don’t peek at the end.”
“But then how will I ever choose a book?” I batted my eyelashes.
Yep, batted them. Who the hell was I?
“Maybe, you should try what normal people do. Pick a book up and read the summary. That’s how most people choose one,” he said, picking up a book and handing it to me.
I read the back and put it down.
I picked up another because I thought it had a really pretty cover. I could feel Jared’s eyes boring into me and resisted the urge to scan the ending. I kept a firm grip on the back and read the summary. It sounded good, so I tucked it under my arm. I still itched to read the ending, but I was afraid Jared might go into cardiac arrest if I did.
My hands twitched as I reached for another book.
Jared’s chuckle filled the small shop. “It’s killing you, not knowing the ending, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I said, skimming my hand over the various covers. “I’m already living on the edge with you. I might as well be really dangerous and buy a book without knowing how it ends,” I grinned at him.
Jared laughed and the sound sent warm tingles down my spine. I loved it when I made him laugh.
I bought three books, not reading the end on any of them.
We crossed the street and perused some more stores before we both grew hungry.
&nbs
p; “This place looks good,” Jared pointed to a small diner.
“Works for me,” I shrugged. “I’m starving.”
We slid into a bright red booth and a waitress appeared with menus. She took our drink order before leaving.
“See anything good?” Jared asked.
“I think I’ll get a turkey club,” I sat the menu down and slid it over to the edge so that the waitress would be able to easily grab it and I wouldn’t have to risk being touched if I handed it to her myself. “What about you?”
Jared continued to scan the menu.
When the waitress came back with drinks, I gave her my order and then we waited on Jared.
I don’t think the girl minded it though. She used the time to shamelessly check him out. Instead of feeling jealous or angry, like most girls would, I felt bad for Jared. Everywhere we went women, of any age, ogled him.
“Um…” Jared said. “I’ll get the specialty burger, no mayo and extra mustard.”
“I’ll put that right in,” the girl said, taking the menus and spinning around. Her skirt flared up, but I guess that’s what she’d been aiming for. Jared was oblivious, though.
“So,” he leaned towards me, close enough that I could see gold flecks in his eyes, “are you enjoying today?”
“Of course,” I said, taking a sip of water.
“Would you be enjoying it if I wasn’t here?” he questioned, tilting his head.
“No,” I answered, honestly.
A smile lit his face. “I’m glad you enjoy my company, kitten.”
I laughed, twirling my straw around the glass, making the ice clink. “I love your company.”
“And why is that, Katy?” he batted his lashes, goading me.
I pretended to think. “I know it has nothing to do with the fact that I love you.”
Jared chuckled, sitting back and brushing a hand over his jaw. “Of course not.”
I shook my head, looking down at the table. “I’m still mystified that I’ve fallen for you.”
Jared snorted. “Why is that so hard to believe?”
“I don’t mean it that way, I just mean… I love you. I really do. I never thought I’d love anyone. In fact, I was convinced that there’s no such thing as true love. How can you care for someone, so unconditionally? It just doesn’t seem possible. I thought love had to be a myth. I had no reason to believe in its truth, until I met you. Jared, not only did you break down all my walls, but you proved everything I believed in wrong.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’ve never, in all my life, been so happy to be wrong.”
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