Jared smiled. “Kitten, I’ll prove you wrong anytime.”
I laughed, drawing random circles on the black, polished, surface of the table. I ran my fingers through my hair and finally spoke. “I used to wonder, what the meaning of love is… and then I realized something. There is no meaning, no definition, for love. It’s simply a feeling, an unexplainable feeling that so few have. But I have that with you.”
Jared smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I couldn’t agree more.”
I let my hands drop into my lap. I was doing far too much fidgeting.
“If someone had told me six months ago, that I’d be in some random town, with a guy I’d only know a few months, I’d have told them they were crazy.” I shook my head. “It’s amazing how quickly everything can change.”
“It is,” Jared agreed. “But I’d say things have changed for the better, wouldn’t you?” he raised a brow, waiting for my reply.
“I would,” I undid the napkin that was wrapped around the fork and knife. “Things have definitely changed for the better… even the accident changed me for the better. Without it… I don’t if-”
“You don’t know if you’d ever have let me touch you?” Jared interjected.
“Yeah,” I nodded, sadly. “And I don’t know if I would have ever touched you.”
Jared nodded, staring into the green depths of his glass of Mountain Dew. “You would have,” he finally said, “it just would have taken a while. I want you to know,” he leaned across the table, his arms crossed and biceps bulging, “that I’ll never push you for more. I’ve told you before, but I’m going to say it again. You’re in control of this, Katy,” he wiggled his finger between the two of us. “Believe me, I want more with you, Katy. God,” he moaned, “I want all of you. But I will never push you for more. You set the pace.”
I swallowed, a blush spreading from cheeks down to my neck. My hands started to shake.
Jared Reed wanted all of me.
But he also wanted me to set the pace… That would be… difficult. I didn’t want Jared to be domineering… but sometimes I needed a little push. Like in the hospital, when he said he needed to touch me, or when he asked if I’d like to touch him.
I was afraid if he didn’t give me a nudge, we’d never move past just touching.
I guess I was just going to have to start taking the reins.
I could do this.
I could set the pace.
I could do more, with Jared… eventually.
“I can see the wheels turning in your head,” Jared said, with a chuckle.
“How?” I asked, picking apart the paper napkin.
“Your nose always scrunches and you squint your eyes when you’re thinking really hard about something,” he leaned back in the booth, the vinyl squeaking.
“Oh,” I said. Jared noticed way more than most guys did.
“It’s cute,” he added.
Our food came then and I welcomed the distraction. We chatted through our meal, the easy kind that you don’t have to force. I was finally feeling normal. Now that Jared knew the truth, a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I’d never felt so light and carefree, not even before my rape.
I now knew what living really means. It means you’re happy with yourself, your life, and those around you. It means you cherish every moment. You smile, you laugh, and you live in the moment. You just… are.
Jared and I left the diner and had barely walked three steps when it started to pour.
We made a dash for Jared’s car, but it was too late. We were already soaked.
I said, “Screw it,” and twirled around in the rain, letting it fall and glide down my body.
I heard Jared laugh but I didn’t care.
I held my arms out at my sides and let the water pelt me. The rain quickly formed puddles, which I was more than willing to splash in.
This was me, living in the moment.
I twirled.
I jumped.
I splashed.
I danced.
I lived.
I loved.
“What are you doing, kitten?” Jared asked.
I stopped spinning, and feeling a little dizzy, stumbled.
Jared reached out to steady me. I fell against him with a thump, pushing him back against the car.
“Whoa there, kittycat,” he chuckled.
I placed my palms flat against his chest, staring up into his impossibly beautiful brown eyes. His gray tee was plastered to his body and his heart thundered under my palm. I shivered, but not from the rain.
“Katy?” he whispered, tilting his head down to peer into my eyes. I watched a water droplet fall from the tip of his nose, to his lips, before falling off the end of his chin and splashing onto me.
I was touching Jared and he was touching me. I had no urge to run or pull away. Instead, I wanted to stay there, cradled in his protective embrace.
Feeling bold, I stood on my tiptoes, my hands moving from his chest to the back of his neck. I tugged lightly on his hair and he growled, low and sexy.
Desire pooled in my belly.
With Jared, I was a goner.
I wanted to kiss him.
Oh God, did I ever.
So, I did.
When my lips touched his, an inferno consumed us both.
He gripped my hips tightly in his hands, pulling me so that our bodies were completely flush.
He bent me back, deepening the kiss, and I moaned. My fingers tightened around his neck as I held on for dear life. I felt like I was on the scariest, most exhilarating, roller coaster of my life.
I never wanted to get off.
I started to feel weak in the knees. Sensing this, Jared lifted me up, never breaking the kiss, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
With another growl, he turned, so that I was now the one pinned to the car.
He braced his hands against the car windows, as I clung to him.
The rain pelted our faces, intermingling with our kiss, but it only made it sweeter.
Jared’s hands slipped from the window with a squeak and he placed them gently on my rib cage, just under my breasts. The close proximity of his hands to my breasts caused panic to set in, but I brushed it away. I knew Jared would never try to do anything I wasn’t ready for. Besides, I kissed him first and then climbed him like he was a damn tree.
He pulled his lips away from mine, his chest rising and falling more rapidly than I’d ever seen it. He’d never breathed this heavy when fighting.
He brushed my wet hair back and bent his forehead to touch mine.
“That was the hottest first kiss, ever,” he said, huskily.
I laughed, my hands going to his cheeks where his stubble brushed against the sensitive skin of my palms.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I said and as I did, our lips brushed together again.
Jared pecked my lips and said, “I don’t know either, but whatever it was, was hot.”
“I practically mauled you,” I laughed, still clinging to him, my back against his car.
He brushed his thumb over my cheek and then moved his hand back to cup my neck. “I loved it.” His eyes flickered down to my lips. “You can maul me anytime, kitten.”
His eyes met mine again and I was consumed by the love I saw there. It was so pure.
“I want to kiss you again,” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Then do it. Baby, I’m yours to do with as you please,” he grinned crookedly.
I kissed him, affectively hiding that grin.
I licked his bottom lip before giving it a light bite. He gasped in surprise and nearly dropped me.
“Woman, you’re going to be the end of me,” he murmured. “But –oh- what a happy end it will be,” he nuzzled my neck. “I love you, so much. You know that, right?” he asked, pressing his lips against the sensitive skin of my neck.
“I know,” I gasped, just before his lips found mine again.
Jared�
��s kisses were seductive. He knew what he was doing and I was happy to let him control this one.
His hands slid down my ribs, to my hips. His fingers grazed my bare skin where my shirt had ridden up. I gasped.
“Sorry,” he said, moving his hands back up and gripping my shirt.
“It’s okay,” I said, kissing him back.
Why had I been so afraid of kissing Jared? His lips were addicting.
I felt his tongue against my lips and opened my mouth in an automatic response. I moaned.
Wanting more.
Needing more.
Jared.
He pulled back and looked away. A muscle in his jaw jumped.
“I have to stop,” he breathed.
“Why?” my voice was all husky and didn’t sound at all normal. Jared had stolen my breath.
“Because if I don’t,” he looked back at me, “I’ll end up doing something I regret. I don’t want to push you too far, too fast, Katy. But God, your lips,” he looked up at the sky that was still showering rain down us. “Your lips are addicting,” he tugged on my bottom lip.
Hadn’t I just thought the same thing about him?
“Shit!” he exclaimed suddenly, letting my legs fall to the ground. He kept his hands on my hips but I swayed unsteadily anyway.
“What?” I asked, hoping I hadn’t done something wrong.
“Your cast,” he pointed to it. “You’re going to have to get a new one.”
I looked at the soaking wet cast; amazed I hadn’t knocked Jared out cold when I wrapped my arms around his neck.
With a laugh, I looked back up at Jared. “It was so worth it.”
He chuckled a smile breaking out across his face. “It definitely was.” He looked up at the sky, the sun starting to peek through. A rainbow appeared in the distance. “Now, when it rains, I’ll always think of that kiss.”
I grinned. I definitely would too and I hoped we made a lot more memories just like this one.
26
We got in the car, both shivering, but I was still grinning like a fool. I noticed Jared was too.
We were both soaking wet and the fabric seats of his car quickly grew damp.
“I think I have a couple of shirts in here somewhere,” Jared said, leaning into the back seat and rummaging around. “Aha!” he exclaimed, pulling a black duffel bag out and resting it on the middle console. He unzipped it and pulled out two shirts. “Change into this,” he tossed one at me.
I grabbed up the huge green shirt with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it and laughed.
“Don’t mock the shirt,” Jared said, pulling his tee over his head, giving me a glimpse of his model worthy body and replacing it with a red one.
I went to slip the shirt on and Jared scolded me. “Nuh-huh. Katy, it defeats the purpose of a dry shirt if you don’t take off the wet one.”
I blanched.
He wanted me to take my shirt off, in front of him? In his car where anybody walking by could see?
I glanced out the window and decided it was raining so hard that nobody would be able to see in, but that didn’t solve the problem of Jared.
“Close your eyes,” I pointed at him. “I mean it, no peaking.”
Jared closed his eyes and then covered them with his hands, “Happy?”
I didn’t answer him. I was already busy changing.
His shirt came to my knees because I was so short and I decided to risk removing my jeans. My legs already felt like popsicles.
“Katy, it doesn’t take that long to change a shirt… Oh God! Where are your pants?”
I blushed. “They were wet and your shirt is plenty long.”
He stared at my legs for a long moment and I heated under his gaze. Finally, after an eternity, his eyes flickered up to mine and he swallowed hard.
“Kitten, how do you expect me to drive with your sexy as hell legs bare to me?” His eyes flickered with a fire I rarely saw.
I choked. Jared had never been so… forward with me before. It was a bit shocking.
“I’m sorry,” Jared said, straightening and gripping the steering wheel, tightly in his hands. “I shouldn’t have said that. Ignore me,” he shook his head and I swear he was blushing.
“It’s okay,” I whispered as he put the car in drive and pulled away from the small town.
“No, it’s not, Katy. I was out of line,” he ran his elegant, long, fingers through his hair, making the wet strands stick straight up. With a frustrated groan, he reached over and turned the heat up.
“Jared, it’s fine,” I reassured him. “I’m not going to go running. I’m here to stay,” I took a deep breath.
He glanced over at me quickly and then his eyes darted back to the road. “Are you sure? I don’t want to push you away, just because I can’t keep my mouth closed. But damn-” he looked back over at my legs. Chuckling and shaking his head, he said, “You are really trying to kill me.”
I laughed. “I never realized my legs were so distracting.”
He grinned. “Kittycat, they’re the sexiest legs I’ve ever seen and to think, just five minutes ago, I had those beauties wrapped around my waist and your mouth on mine.” He squirmed in the seat and muttered something under his breath.
“Really? They’re so short. I always thought guys liked girls with long legs,” I stretched one out on the dashboard to inspect it.
I was not at all expecting Jared’s reaction to my innocent inquiry.
The car swerved off the road. “Fuck!” Jared exclaimed, but he managed to right the vehicle. “I swear to God, you must be trying to get us killed. Put your leg down before I do something I really regret and pull this vehicle over to check them myself.”
“Oh,” I said, and quickly lowered my leg.
Jared shook his head and kept his eyes firmly pinned to the road and nowhere near me. A good ten minutes passed before he spoke. “I don’t care if your legs are long or short, they’re sexy.”
I blushed.
“Katy,” he continued, “I don’t tell you enough because I don’t want you to run from me, but you are so completely beautiful. Inside and out. When I tell you that I love you, I mean it. I love you. All of you. The good and the bad.”
I opened my mouth to say something but Jared cut me off.
“There’s no need to say anything, Katy. Just listen to what I told you and remember it. Always remember it,” he looked at me sternly.
I nodded.
He picked up his phone. “I better call the hospital so we can get your cast changed.”
“Oh, I can do that,” I said, digging in my purse for my phone.
Jared put his hand on mine, stilling my movements. “I’ve got this, Katy. Let me take care of my girl.”
“O-o-kay,” I put my purse down.
He chuckled and started to make the call.
They were swamped at the hospital so they told Jared to take me to the emergency clinic.
Yippee. I was just dying to spend the evening with a bunch of sick people while I waited for a new cast. Every time I went to one of the emergency clinics near the campus, it always ended up taking forever. I was sure tonight, would be no different.
I looked down at my ruined cast and rubbed my fingers over the words Jared had written on it. Even though I was sure this was going to be a pain in my butt, I wouldn’t take back that kiss in the rain. It was perfect.
Jared pulled into the parking lot and I slipped my jeans back on before he helped me out. He surprised me when he enclosed my fingers with his. It surprised me even more when I didn’t have the urge to pull away. A smile lifted my lips.
I was healing.
~***~
We made it home just past dinnertime. My arm was now enclosed in a hot pink cast.
I liked the blue one better and I had detested that thing.
“Hey,” Karlie said, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up on the couch.
“I picked up subs,” Jared held the paper bag aloft. “I’m tired and don’t feel lik
e making dinner.”
“That’s fine,” Karlie yawned.
Jared sauntered into the kitchen, placing the bag on the table and then grabbing plates.
“I’m –uh- going to go change,” I muttered, pointing my thumb over my shoulder at the stairs.
Karlie looked at me. “Are you wearing one of Jared’s shirts?”
“We got caught in a downpour,” Jared answered her for me.
I nodded in agreement and made a mad dash for the stairs. I really hoped Jared didn’t tell her about me practically mauling him. I doubted he would though; after all, she was his sister. Plus, Jared didn’t strike me as the kind of guy to kiss and tell.
I changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of my own tees. I was going to have to ask Jared where the washer and dryer were; I really needed to wash my clothes.
Jared and Karlie were fixing their food on plates. I saw my sub already out and fixed for me. I glanced up at Jared and smiled.
“Thanks,” I said, sitting beside Karlie.
Jared shook his head. “There’s nothing to thank me for. I just put your sub on a plate. It’s not that hard.”
“It’s the thought that counts,” I shrugged, taking a bite of my sub. Mayonnaise dotted the corner of my mouth and I hastily wiped it away with a napkin.
“So…” Karlie said, filling the sudden silence. “What did ya’ll do today?”
Jared raised an eyebrow at his sister. “Nosy, much?”
“Sorry,” she laughed. “I don’t have much of a social life. I have to live vicariously through everyone else.”
“Even your brother?” He eyed her.
“Even my brother,” she put her sub down. “You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious.”
“We had a fun day, we went… exploring,” He supplied.
I snorted. Exploring each other’s lips more like it.
Jared grinned over at me and then went back to talking to Karlie. “So, you have no social life? What about school? Rodney?”
Karlie waved her hand. “I hate school and don’t really talk to anyone. And Rodney…” she trailed off. She looked up at her brother with big, pleading brown eyes, “Promise, you won’t get mad?”
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