Unraveling

by Micalea Smeltzer

  Everything was delicious, just like I knew it would be. My mom always had her events catered by the best people in town.

  The plates were cleared away and the band left the stage.

  Bidding was about to begin. Everyone stood, crowding towards the stage.

  I took this as my cue to leave. “Let’s get out of here,” I whispered under my breath to Jared.

  “Thank God,” he said, standing.

  “Leaving so soon, Katyrina?” a voice spoke from behind me. All the blood drained from my body, leaving me feeling lifeless.

  “Preston,” I gasped.

  35

  “What?” Jared looked at me, before turning around.

  I slowly turned to face the man that had raped me… body, mind, and soul.

  “I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye,” Preston smirked, his blonde hair flopping in his eyes. He still looked like the cocky, preppy, high school football player. He wore kaki slacks and a pale green polo shirt, with the collar popped. I’d once thought he was good-looking; now I only saw him for the scum he was underneath the exterior. “That’s not nice, Katyrina. I’ve missed you.”

  Jared stepped in front of me, blocking me from Preston’s sight.

  “You need to back off,” Jared warned.

  Preston smirked, looking up at Jared. He was a good four inches shorter and had to tilt his head back to meet Jared’s eyes.

  “I don’t know what your problem is bud. I’m just talking to my old girlfriend,” Preston stuck his hands in his pockets.

  “My problem is sicko’s like you,” Jared shoved Preston hard enough to send him back two steps.

  “What the fuck?” Preston growled.

  “Stay away from her,” Jared warned. “I know what you did and I won’t hesitate to put you in the hospital.”

  For the first time since Preston had appeared behind me, I looked around.

  Everyone was silent, the bidding forgotten, as they watched us.

  Preston put both his hands up in front of his chest. “I don’t know what she’s told you, she’s a pathological liar. You can’t believe a thing she says. I can’t help it that her first time wasn’t what she imagined and she cried rape.”

  “That’s it!” Jared yelled, pulling his suit jacket off and throwing it on a table.

  Before I knew what was happening, his sleeves were rolled up and he was punching Preston in the face. I heard a crunching sound and blood spewed across Jared’s shirt.

  Preston tried to fight back, he certainly wasn’t a scrawny guy, but he had nothing on Jared’s size and MMA skills.

  I watched Jared continue to beat Preston. People started yelling, and I could hear Jared saying something to Preston with each punch.

  I wanted to stop Jared, knew I needed to, but it was like I was encased in gelatin. I was trying to move, but I couldn’t, something held me back.

  I didn’t lose it until Preston’s blood splattered across my legs and the bottom of my dress.

  I screamed. “Get it off! Get it off!” I didn’t want any part of Preston touching me. I reached for one of the white tablecloths, pulling all the glass dishes off in the process. They shattered as they hit the ground but I was beyond caring. “Get it off! I need it off!” I sobbed, trying to wipe the red from my skin.

  “Katy,” Jared said softly, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath. “Calm down,” he took the cloth from me, and bent to wipe my legs.

  Tears coursed down my face. “Get it off. Please, just get it off,” I begged.

  My mother chose that moment to break through the crowd. Her blonde hair was fanned wildly around her head, telling me she’d been pulling on it.

  “Get out! Both of you, get out!” she shrieked. “You’re such an embarrassment, Katyrina! And now this hoodlum is beating up poor, Preston! I want you both, gone!”

  I stood up straight and steeled myself, forgetting all about the blood coating me that had freaked me out. “He raped me!” I pointed at the unconscious Preston. I screamed the words, wanting everyone present to know. “He raped me, mom! You didn’t care! You wouldn’t listen! You laughed at me! But he held me down and forced himself on me! He wouldn’t listen when I told him to stop! He raped me! He raped me! He fucking raped me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had never spoken to anyone this way, let alone used this kind of language.

  Everyone around us stood in shock, including Cynthia Spencer.

  I continued on, I needed to get this off my chest, I didn’t even notice when Jared stopped scrubbing my legs and took my hand.

  “You’re a cold hearted bitch! You don’t care about anyone but yourself! You call yourself my mother, but you have to earn that title! You. Are. Not. My. Mom. If anyone should get the credit of being my mother, it’s Marisol!”

  She was quiet for a moment. “Is you’re temper tantrum over?”

  “Oh my God! You are impossible!” I yelled.

  “And you are just like your useless father. Get off my property. I never want to see you again,” she seethed.

  “Good, because I don’t want to see you again!” I turned to walk away but suddenly found myself facing her again. “Do you even know who my father is? Or are you too big of a slut to know?”

  I was surprised when her hand smacked sharply against my cheek, even though I shouldn’t have been.

  Jared was suddenly in front of me, always my protector. “You will never lay a hand on her, ever, again. Do you hear me?” He grasped my mother’s still raised hand. His voice was deadly calm but with an icy edge.

  I saw something close to fear in my mother’s eyes, something I’d never seen before.

  She nodded.

  Jared released her and grabbed his suit jacket before leading me away from the scene we’d caused.

  I could hear Preston stirring behind us, and my mother yelling for someone to get ice.

  Jared ignored them and led me out, under the arched trellis.

  The girl that had asked for my name was still standing there. Her jaw dropped at our appearances and she then proceeded to try to see what had happened.

  “Give me your keys,” Jared said and I did.

  He sped out of the driveway and I watched the mansion disappear behind us.

  I knew it would be the last time I ever saw it.

  I was glad.

  ~***~

  “Oh my God! What happened to you guys? Jared, why does your shirt have blood on it?” Karlie gasped, dropping the book she’d been reading onto the coffee table.

  “I beat a guy up,” he mumbled.

  “I take it that didn’t leave a very good impression on Katy’s mom?” she raised a brow.

  “That women is a bitch,” he snapped. “I’m going to take a shower,” he started up the steps.

  Karlie looked at me, expecting me to be offended.

  “She is,” I shrugged out of my cardigan. I wanted to burn it, along with my dress. I was convinced there were traces of Preston on it, although I couldn’t find anything. I tossed it in the trash, anyway. It was already ruined in a different way. Anytime I looked at it, I’d think of today.

  I stripped out of my dress too and put it in the trash. I didn’t even care that I was practically naked in front of Karlie. I had to get it off. The ride home had been unbearable. I just kept staring at the dark round dots on the bottom of my dress.

  “What happened to your clothes?” she asked.

  “Karlie,” I said, rougher than I meant to. “Can you please stop asking questions?”

  She nodded, startled at my tone.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped,” I gave her a sad smile.

  “It happens,” she said.

  “I’m going to –uh- borrow a shirt of Jared’s,” I looked at my bra and panty clad self.

  “Okay,” she said, picking up her book.

  I dashed up the steps, rifling through Jared’s shirt drawer.

  I didn’t have a change of clothes with me, because I ha
dn’t planned on staying the night here, but things were different now. After what happened today, I didn’t think the pills would keep my nightmares away, I wasn’t even sure Jared could, but I’d try.

  I found one that looked like an old high school shirt. I knew I’d never seen him wear it, so I slipped it on. It fell down to my knees.

  I heard the shower turn off and a moment later Jared padded into his room only wearing a pair of low-slung boxers.

  My heart raced in my chest at the sight.

  I was beyond surprised by my reaction, especially after seeing Preston today.

  “You okay?” Jared asked, pulling on a pair of mesh shorts.

  “I guess,” I said.

  “Looks good on you,” Jared said.

  “Huh?” I questioned.

  “My shirt,” he flicked the collar of the shirt I was wearing. “It looks good on you,” he grinned.

  “Th-thanks,” I said. “I’m going to shower, now.”

  “Take your time,” he said. “I’m going to order pizza. I don’t feel like cooking dinner. You staying the night?”

  “If you don’t mind,” I glanced at him sheepishly.

  “Of course I don’t mind,” he pulled me against his chest, kissing my forehead. “I want you here, always.”

  I pulled away before I could cry. I needed to hear those words, that someone wanted me.

  I took the longest shower I’d ever taken, scrubbing my legs over and over, trying to wipe the memory of Preston away.

  If only we really could erase our memories. Life would be so much easier if we never had to remember the bad things.

  I leaned against the shower wall, breathing heavily as the water streamed down my body.

  I wanted to cry, but I refused. I was stronger than that.

  I turned the shower off, the nozzle squeaking.

  I dried off and pulled my wet hair back into a bun, pulling on Jared’s shirt.

  The pizza had already arrived since I took such a long shower. Karlie and Jared sat at the kitchen table chatting.

  I sat next to Karlie and began nibbling on a piece of pizza. I wasn’t hungry but I knew I needed to eat.

  I tore at the pizza crust, wondering what would have happened today, if Jared hadn’t been there. Would Preston have tried something, again? Would I have remembered my self-defense moves or stood frozen? So many questions swirled through my mind, and sadly I didn’t have any answers for them.

  “You okay?” Jared asked and I jumped.

  I nodded, my voice fleeing me.

  “He’ll never hurt you again, Katy,” he said, his brown eyes boring into me, straight down to my soul.

  I looked around for Karlie, wondering why Jared would be saying this in front of her, and found that she was gone. I had been so lost in my own little world I hadn’t noticed.

  “He hurts me every day, Jared,” I drew random designs on the tabletop.

  Jared’s breath hissed between his teeth and he put his hand on mine, stopping my mindless drawing.

  “Katy, I thought you were better,” his words were a plea.

  “I was… until I saw him again. It opened up all those old wounds again.”

  Jared shook his head hard enough that I was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “No, stop it. Just stop,” he said, sternly. “He didn’t hurt you again, you’re fine. Don’t think about the past.”

  “He didn’t hurt me because you were there. If you hadn’t been-” I shook my head. “Who knows what may have happened.”

  “But I was there, Katy. Stop thinking about the alternatives. You’re tearing yourself apart thinking about what ifs.”

  “I know,” I bit my lip. “You’re right. I have to stop doing this to myself.”

  Jared let out a relieved sigh at my words. I hated to have worried him.

  “I hate to ask this,” I looked at him nervously, “but can you go to my condo and pick up Mable?”

  He chuckled. “I already planned on it.”

  ~***~

  “Mable!” I cried as Jared put the fluffy gray cat down on the ground. She scampered to me, hopping up on the couch and rubbing against me. She had grown a lot since Christmas but she was still small and light as a feather.

  “She was sitting in front of the door, when I opened it,” Jared said. “She looked mad that she’d been by herself for so long.”

  “I’m sure she was,” I scratched the cat behind her ears. “I never leave her alone for that long and I always bring her with me, when I’m over here. She’s spoiled.”

  “She’s definitely that,” Jared said, tidying up the kitchen. I’d already cleaned it but I was discovering that Jared had a small case of OCD. He liked to have things a certain way.

  “Ready for bed?” he asked, turning the light off in the kitchen.

  It was kind of early to go to bed, but I was exhausted from the day I had experienced. “Yeah, I am,” I stood, picking up Mable and following him up to bed.

  As I was drifting off to sleep, I felt Jared’s mouth against my ear. “I’ll always protect you, no matter what,” he whispered.

  36

  “This is one crappy ass Spring Break,” Rollo grumbled.

  “Why do you say that?” I asked, picking up my water and taking a drink.

  He pointed to the TV. “All we’re doing is watching Criminal Minds in your condo and your stupid cat keeps biting me. She must know I don’t like pussy.”

  I snorted and spewed water across the coffee table. “Rollo!”

  “What?” He asked, innocently.

  “You know what,” I laughed, getting up, and returning with a paper towel to clean the mess I had made.

  I tossed the paper towel in the trash and sat back down.

  “Everyone else is off at the beach,” Rollo grumbled. “Even Piper left. I hate feeling like the most boring person ever.”

  “You’re far from boring, Rollo,” I ruffled his blonde fro affectionately. He smiled at the touch. It had been a long time since I had touched my best friend so casually.

  “Thanks baby cakes. I needed to hear that,” he said. “Ow!” he cried. “Tell your cat to stop biting me.”

  “No, Mable! That’s not nice!” I scolded the cat, picking her up, and putting her on my lap.

  “That cat is the devil’s spawn,” Rollo glared at her.

  I held her close my chest, kissing the top of her head. “No, she’s not. She’s a sweetie. She just senses that you don’t like cats and she takes offense.”

  “Ugh, enough talk about that crazy pussy.” Rollo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Promise me that the next time, we have a break, we’ll actually do something fun.”

  “Jared mentioned going to the beach for Memorial Day. He said his friends always have a bonfire on the beach and there’s fireworks,” I said while playing with Mable’s paws. They were so little and cute.

  “That sounds fabulous,” Rollo said. “I need to get away. I can’t wait for summer. I need a break.”

  “But won’t you have to go to your parent’s for the summer?” I asked, puzzled.

  “No,” a grin spread across his face. “They’re buying me an apartment.”

  “What?” I gasped. “That’s awesome!”

  “They said that two years was long enough for me to have to suffer at the dorms aaaannnnndddd,” he drew the word out dramatically, “they’re getting me a car too.”

  “Yay!” I squealed, hugging him.

  “I am so happy I won’t have to spend another year in that dorm. I might die,” he joked.

  “When are you going to start apartment hunting?” I asked.

  “I already have,” Rollo shrugged. “I’m hoping to convince them to let me move in before the semester is over.”

  I laughed. “Good luck with that.”

  Rollo’s parents were by far better and more supportive than my mom, but they were still weird.

  “Eh,” Rollo shrugged his shoulders, “you never know. I might as well try.”

  “If you wan
t me to go look with you, let me know.”

  “Actually,” Rollo’s blue eyes lit up, “there’s one I really love. We’re not doing anything, so let’s swing by and take a look. You know I value you’re opinion, baby cakes. Plus, if my parents know you like it, it’ll go a long way, in convincing them to buy it. You know, they’re convinced we’re gonna get married one day, despite the fact that I’ve told them I’m gay.”

  I laughed at that. “I guess they’re hoping that if you hang out with me long enough, you’ll become straight.”

  “I don’t know what they think… at least they’re not hostile about it, you know?”

  I nodded, patting his arm.

  Rollo had come out to his parents just before we graduated high school. They’d been shocked, his mother had cried for days, but they never said anything rude or condescending to him.

  “Let me go get changed,” I motioned to my sweats and tank, “and then we’ll go take a look.”

  “Thank you, baby cakes.” When I stood up to leave, he said, “Take your pussy with you.”

  “Rollo!” I shrieked again, but picked up Mable and disappeared into my room.

  I changed into a pair of jeans and a loose pale pink sweater before pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

  “I’m ready,” I called out to Rollo.

  Mable was curled up on my bed asleep, but at my words, her eyes cracked. She knew I was leaving and was not too happy about it.

  I grabbed my keys and purse.

  Rollo directed me to the apartment he was interested in. It wasn’t far from my condo and close to the campus.

  “It looks nice,” I said, appraising the outside.

  “While you were changing I called the owner and he said he’d be here to show us in,” Rollo unbuckled his seatbelt, hopping out of the car.

  I did the same, following him onto the sidewalk.

  The apartment he was interested in was on the second floor.

  A kind looking older man was waiting outside the door.

  Rollo said a few words to him and the man opened the door, ushering us inside.

  “I’ll be out here while ya’ll look around and I’ll lock up behind ya,” he smiled.

  The apartment was larger than I’d realized, larger than my condo.