by Amelia Stone
I had to try.
“You and Seth?” Jenny’s whole face lit up. “Finally!”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“Please,” she scoffed. “That shit’s been destined since kindergarten.”
“Jennifer Elizabeth!”
“I’m pretty sure everyone saw it coming, Kris,” Jess added, ignoring my mother. Around the room, I could see multiple heads nodding their agreement.
Oh, gods.
“Yeah, so you might as well spill all the dirty details,” Lindsay added.
“No way.” I ducked my head to hide my face. “I’m not talking about this right now.” Not with my mother and my grandmother present, anyway.
No thank you.
Lindsay let out a groan. “Please? Just like, the highlights. The twins have been sleeping in our bed all week and I’m dying.”
“Wait. You actually want sex while you’re pregnant?” Jess looked fascinated and horrified all at once.
Lindsay nodded fervently. “All the damn time. Now whether it actually happens, with four kids underfoot, is another issue altogether.”
“I am going to need so much therapy when I’m older.” Fiona, who was nine going on thirty, sighed dramatically.
Though at least she had a point this time. As opposed to all the times she thought the world was ending because she wasn’t allowed to wear lip gloss or get a temporary glitter tattoo, for instance.
“Weird.” Jess frowned. “I feel like puking if Adam even comes near me. And forget about when he tries to grab my boobs. They’re so freaking sensitive.”
The whole room fell silent as everyone stared at Jess.
“Oh, shit,” she whispered, horror dawning on her face as she realized what she’d just done.
Then the whole room erupted in shouts of joy and congratulations. Mom and Mrs. DeLuca started hugging each other and crying, Lindsay pulled Jess into a very Jess-like octopus hug, and Fiona started running around the room, flapping her arms like a Muppet and shouting that she was going to have a baby cousin at long last.
“What the fuck is going on in here?”
We all turned to see Phoebe standing in the doorway to her office, glaring at everyone.
The room once again fell silent as everyone took in the sight of my middle sister. She’d… well, that was certainly a change. I blinked, wondering if the drastic difference in the shape of her body was why she hadn’t been home in over a year.
Mom shook her head as she walked forward to fold Phoebe into a hug. “You watch your language, Phoebe Louise.” Mom kissed her temple. “And hello. I missed you.”
Phoebe squeezed her eyes shut as she hugged Mom back. “I missed you, too.” Then she glared around the room once more. “But seriously. What the fuck is going on here?”
Mom merely pursed her lips at the continued foul language, so it was Lindsay who answered.
“Jess is pregnant!” She grinned as she wrapped her tentacles around our baby sister once again.
Phoebe’s nostrils flared, and she swallowed a few times like she was upset.
But then she sent Jess a look that could melt glass. “You better not have gained any fucking weight.”
Around the room, there were several gasps, and I heard someone whisper ‘did she just…?’
Yes. Yes she did just.
I frowned as I stared at Phoebe. Not only was I really tired of hearing all these threats about weight gain from my normally non-judgmental sister, but it was also a bit rich, given her dramatic change in appearance.
No one spoke for a moment, but I could see Jess scratching at her cheek, which told me she was about ten seconds from bursting into tears. So I stood, crossed to her, and put my arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me, letting out a mighty sniff as she wrapped her arms around me.
“Um, I have to go to the bathroom,” Fiona whispered, breaking the silence.
“Down the hall to the left,” Phoebe snapped.
Lindsay made a little growling sound, stepping forward, and I put a hand on her shoulder to try to stop the mama bear claws from making an appearance.
“I’ll take you,” Emilie offered quickly, giving Fiona a too-bright smile.
When no one objected, the two girls disappeared down the hall. Then we all remained where we were, staring at each other.
“What the hell,” Larkin said, after a tense moment. “I’ll go first. I’m used to being the asshole.” She turned to Phoebe. “So, when exactly did you decide that being a hypocrite was something you’re into?”
Phoebe turned slowly. “Excuse me?”
“I mean, if I had gained about eighty pounds in the span of a year, I might hesitate before trying to fat shame someone else.”
Phoebe sucked in a breath, putting a hand to her heavier-than-usual stomach. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Mom held her hands up. “Now, no one is judging you, honey.”
“Really?” Phoebe glared at our cousin. “Because it sure as fuck seems like you are.”
“It’s just, you’ve gained a little weight,” Mom continued, her tone oh-so-gentle.
“A lot of weight,” Nana added unhelpfully. “Just because you live in France doesn’t mean you can subsist on pain au chocolat, dear.”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Mrs. DeLuca and her daughter discreetly stepping out of the room, leaving our family to the imminent blowup.
“And what exactly is wrong with that?” Willow asked as she emerged from the changing room. She put her hands on her hips, as though daring anyone to say something negative about her own full-figured body.
“Nothing,” Mom said quickly. “Every single one of you is a beautiful flower no matter how much you weigh.”
Everyone in the room rolled her eyes, including Nana.
“I’m just worried,” Mom added, ignoring us all. “It’s a big change in a short amount of time. Are you okay, honey?” She gave Phoebe a gentle smile.
“Everything is fine,” Phoebe barked.
Mom winced. “There are lots of medical things that can cause a sudden weight gain, though. Have you talked to a doc-”
“I said I’m fine,” Phoebe snapped. “And this isn’t about me anyway. It’s about making sure these fucking dresses fit so that Jessica can have the illusion of a perfect fairytale wedding.”
“Because you can’t alter them?” Jess argued in a scratchy voice that was still too close to tears. “I mean, you’ve made more miracles happen in half an hour than Roma fricking Downey, and you did them all by yourself. Surely you can make some alterations happen with three days and a full staff.”
Phoebe huffed, her eyes going hard. “That’s not the fucking point.”
“Oh, come on.” Lindsay’s arm came around Jess from the other side. “You have to admit it’s kind of shitty that you’ve been harassing all of us for months. Especially when you show up looking like this.”
I kind of agreed, to be honest. Whether she’d intended to or not, Phoebe had made me feel awful with her constant harangues over the last few months. She knew how poor my body image was, and yet she’d needled and needled until I was practically afraid to breathe in case air had calories. And though Lindsay and Jess were more secure in themselves, I know Phoebe’s messages had gotten to them, too.
But it was also clear something serious was going on with my middle sister. Aside from the dramatic change in her body, she was acting very out-of-character. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I was worried. Shitty behavior or not, she was still my sister.
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t be the pretty little size two model for you all anymore,” Phoebe growled. Her own eyes were blinking rapidly, because she, too, hated to cry. Unlike me, though, she got angry when she was upset, and she pushed all that anger outward. “So you’ll just have to figure out how to love me anyway. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck.”
“Of course we love you anyway, honey.” Mom widened her eyes at the rest of us, as though urging us to agree with
her.
“We always will,” I assured her.
Lindsay’s expression was stony. “I don’t care how much you weigh, either,” she told Phoebe. “I care about my family. And yes, that includes you, even when you’re being a cranky bitch.”
“Gee, thanks.” Phoebe rolled her eyes, but her shoulders relaxed a little.
Beside me, Jess sniffed. “You could at least say congratulations, you know.”
Phoebe’s face twisted in something that wasn’t quite anger. It looked more like hurt – bone deep hurt. But it was gone as quick as it came, and she let out a tired-sounding breath.
“Congratulations,” she muttered, her tone flat and joyless.
“Okay!” Nana clapped her hands together. “Now can we get on with the show? I’d like to get home sometime today. I am an old woman, I haven’t had lunch yet, and I hate the city. So let’s motor.”
Everyone stared at her for a beat.
“Fine.” Phoebe beckoned to Lindsay. “You’re next. Let’s just hope we can zip the dress up over that damn belly.”
“Well, maybe you should have thought about the fact that my belly would grow before you designed a dress with a fitted bodice,” Lindsay argued.
“Or maybe you could have, I don’t know, stopped after four kids,” Phoebe suggested. “But of course that didn’t occur to you. No, better to needlessly increase the population.”
Most of us gasped, because Phoebe had just crossed the damn line.
Lindsay, too, sucked in a breath. “How fucking dare you?”
Jess and I both reached forward, grabbing her upper arms. I squeezed lightly, trying to remind her that she could not, in fact, murder her sister.
Phoebe straightened her shoulders defiantly, not backing down a bit. But I could have sworn I saw a hint of remorse in her eyes.
“I am not going to apologize for wanting a big family,” Lindsay spat. “I love my husband and my children and it is none of your goddamn business how many I choose to have.”
“Yeah, we get it,” Phoebe replied with a bitter smile. “You and Owen have the perfect marriage and the perfect family, and all he has to do is look at you for you to get knocked up.” She gave Lindsay a thumbs up. “Congratulations, sis.”
“You know what?” My oldest sister threw her hands up. “I don’t know what is wrong with you,” she spat. “But when you feel like apologizing for taking it out on the rest of us, I’ll be in the bathroom, because my unnecessary fifth kid is kicking my fucking bladder right now.”
Everyone watched in silence as Lindsay walked away, and I suspected we were all thinking the same thing: what in Hades had just happened here?
“Great,” Phoebe muttered. “Just fucking great.” She stalked toward her office. “I can’t do this right now.”
Mom called after her, but Phoebe just held up a hand.
“Not now, Mom!” she growled as she opened her office door. “Not fucking now.”
The slamming of the door echoed around the room.
“Okay. That’s my cue to leave,” Jenny said. She squeezed Jess’s shoulder as she passed, giving her a sympathetic look. “Sage is probably going insane, since this is his first time alone with both kids.”
“They’re his fucking kids, too,” Larkin pointed out. She gave Jess a nod and a terse congratulations before following Jenny.
“Yeah, but your brother is not exactly known for his patience.”
“True. Did I ever tell you about the time he burned his hand because he couldn’t wait for the toaster to spit out his Pop-Tarts?”
“Just the one time?”
The two women continued to chatter as they exited the building, leaving the rest of us to wallow in tense silence once more.
“Well, I think we should grab Emilie and get going,” Willow said to her mother after a moments. “It’s a long trip back to South Bay.”
Aunt Rita gave Mom a withering look as she followed her daughter toward the bathroom.
“Really, Louise,” she snipped, like this whole scene had been my mother’s fault. “That was embarrassing.”
No one bothered to reply to her. We were all a little shell-shocked, I think – even Nana, who normally had to be begged to stop talking.
Jess cleared her throat. “I need a minute.” Understandably, she looked like someone had just driven a hearse through her parade route. “I’ll be back.” Then she disappeared down the hallway, too.
That bathroom was probably getting pretty crowded by now.
After a long moment, Mom turned to me, her dark blue eyes sparkling with tears.
“I should go after her,” she croaked.
But she looked torn, and I couldn’t blame her. Three of her four daughters had just stormed off in a huff after the nastiest fight I’d ever seen among my sisters – and with four girls, we’d had our fair share over the years. It was hard to tell who needed my mother the most right then.
I sighed, feeling like my lack of sleep this week had finally caught up to me.
“I’ll get Phoebe,” I told her. “You take care of Jess and Linds.”
Mom nodded, giving me a sad smile. “You’re a good girl, Krista Marie.”
I squeezed her shoulder as I passed. “You’re not so bad yourself, Mom Margaret.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just stay here and bruise my tailbone some more,” Nana grumbled as she reclaimed her donut pillow. “Since you’re my ride, Louise.”
Mom and I both ignored her, having bigger fish to fry at the moment. Mom headed off in the direction of the bathroom as I knocked softly on Phoebe’s office door.
“What?” My sister’s snarl was almost enough to make me want to turn around and offer to trade places with Mom.
Instead, I cracked the door open and poked my head around it. “If I come in, are you going to eat my face?”
I thought she was going to start breathing fire, so white-hot was the rage in her eyes.
“Did you really just make a fat joke right now?”
“What?” I frowned. “No. It was a xenomorph thing, from Alien… you know what, never mind.”
I opened the door wider, pushing into the room whether she wanted me to or not. But she didn’t try to stop me.
Little victories.
So I took a seat on a sofa that I suspected was made of granite, wondering what exactly my sister had against comfortable furniture. Meanwhile, she stood behind her desk, leaning over it and scowling like she was trying to scare me into leaving.
But I didn’t leave. Something was clearly very wrong with my sister, and I needed to find out what it was if we were ever to have peace in the empire again.
“So,” I started as she finally gave up the intimidation attempts and took a seat. “What’s new?”
She gave me the side eye for so long, I was sure she was going to give herself a headache. But then she burst into wild, raucous laughter.
“I can’t tell which is worse right now,” she wheezed. “Your awkwardness, or Mom’s corny platitudes.”
I snorted. “Well, I’ve been trained by video games to believe that beautiful flowers are usually dangerous, for what it’s worth.”
“Did you two draw straws to see who would get whom?” she asked, still chuckling.
I shook my head. “Nah, I picked you.”
Her laughter abruptly stopped, the humor draining out of her face and leaving her looking tired and sad. “What do you want, Kris?”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” I assured her.
“I’m fine,” she repeated, and much like the first two times she’d said it today, I didn’t believe her one bit. “Really, I am.”
I watched her for a beat, but she didn’t offer anything else. After the fruitless staring contest, I decided to change the subject, hoping it would at least get her talking.
“So did you hear the big news? Seth moved back to South Bay.”
Phoebe raised her eyebrows. “No shit?”
I nodded. “He bought the old Musgrave place do
wn the street from Mom and Dad.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Wow. So have you seen him?”
I nodded, noting that my plan seemed to have worked. Taking the focus off Phoebe had calmed her, and she actually seemed interested in the conversation now, instead of snarling and lashing out.
And maybe, if I kept her talking, she might address the real reason why she was being such a beast today.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I went to the reunion on Friday.”
“Holy shit!” Phoebe’s eyes lit up. “That is fucking rad, little sis.”
I nodded, because it was kind of rad. I didn’t have too many moments of life-altering bravery under my belt, but that had been one of my more daring feats. And it had certainly paid off, if my sore thigh muscles and perpetually chapped lips were any indication.
“Please tell me you guys are finally fucking,” she pleaded. “I need something to be good in this goddamn world right now.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Um.”
She let out a dramatic sigh. “Thank God.” Then she leaned forward, splaying her hands on the desk. “But wait. You’re going back to work on Monday, right?”
“Yeah, I have to. E3 is less than two weeks away.”
She nodded slowly. “So what happens after this week?”
I swallowed. That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?
“We haven’t talked about it,” I admitted in a small voice.
Seth and I hadn’t talked about much of anything deep since that first night. It had been fun and light and sexy, but nothing more. Sometimes, when I woke up in the middle of the night to find him sleeping peacefully beside me, I wondered if I’d imagined the emotion in his eyes that first night. His words would echo in my head like ghosts, haunting my anxious mind until I doubted whether he’d even said them.
It’s always been you for me, Krista.
Then why had he never said anything? If I’d known how he felt for me when we were younger, I never would have pushed him away. Part of me was angry at him for keeping his feelings a secret. The other part of me was angry at myself for the same reason. We’d wasted so many years to misunderstanding, and later, to bitterness and regret.
Hence why I was waiting for the oncoming horde, metaphorically speaking. Things between us had been a disaster in the past, and now, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something awful was about to happen again.