Beast Denied

by Faye Avalon

  “It’s his back. The idiot’s been pushing himself and now he’s locked up. Can’t move.”

  “Where is he?”

  “In the office. Can you get here?”

  “Yes.” Thankfully, she’d seen the last of her afternoon appointments, so she didn’t have to rearrange any of her patients. “I’ll be right over. Tell him not to move until I get there.”

  She stopped only long enough to pick up her bag and medical case, and minutes later, she was traveling out along the old road toward Nathan’s. Since Tynan had arranged for her car to be repaired after breaking down that night on the moor, the old thing had been purring along with a new lease of life.

  What on earth had Tynan been doing driving himself so hard? He’d obviously weakened his body coming to her aid that night on the moor. Pushed himself too hard. Chances were, he hadn’t taken the time to allow himself to recuperate. After all these years, didn’t he realize that he had to listen to his body, treat it with respect? He’d likely sent his muscles into hard spasm, the body’s way of sending out signals that it had been pushed to its limit and needed rest. She only hoped that his recklessness hadn’t resulted in any permanent damage.

  The journey out to Nathan’s seemed interminable, during which Naomi swung between anger that Tynan would push himself like this and guilt that she had been the cause of it in the first place. Not only had she been responsible for the original accident, when her desperate need for Tynan to be her first lover had unwittingly put him at the hands of her merciless and vengeful father, but she had been the cause of his latest suffering. All because she had gotten herself involved with a treacherous excuse for a human.

  It seemed she brought him nothing but trouble, which proved she had been right all along. Tynan was better off without her. On so many levels.

  When she eventually pulled into the drive, Nathan strolled out to meet her. He opened her door. “Idiot’s up and about. Wouldn’t listen to reason. Says he’s fine now, but he’s still swallowing pills.”

  She got out of the car, dragging her bags along with her. “Where is he?”

  “Back at the computer. Got it in his head to work off the residue of discomfort, he says. Told him you were on your way and you’d likely hike up that residue of discomfort by kicking his ass.”

  “Oh, I’ll kick his ass and anything else in reach. Stupid male. Does he think he’s indestructible?”

  “Not sure he gives a shit right now.” Nathan took her bags. “You’ve got him tied up in knots, sugar. Why don’t you put him out of what’s really causing his misery?”

  She wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Not much is. Not if it’s worth having.”

  She smiled up at him. “It was for us. Easy. Worth having.”

  “Can’t argue with that.” He raised his eyebrows. “But then you went and fell in love. With a moron.”

  About to deny that she was in love with Tynan, she let the words die on her lips. There was no point lying to Nathan. He knew her too well. Instead, she reached up and touched his face. “I never asked you how you felt about me and Tynan. Never thanked you for stepping aside and leaving us to it.”

  He gave a shrug that was so typically him. “Any fool could see you two were the real deal. And you know me, I’m not a sticker. What we had was good while it lasted.”

  She went on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “You’re a special man, Nathan Quinn. Some woman’s going to be very lucky one of these days.”

  He grimaced. “Not going to happen, sugar. I’m immune to anything but temporary where females are concerned.”

  With his forefinger, he tapped up her chin and kissed her. But it was no peck on the cheek. That wasn’t Nathan’s style. Instead, he gave her a full-blown lip lock.

  When he released her, they grinned at each other. “I’ll take your bags inside, then I’ll make myself scarce. Got some slabs I need to lay on the side patio. If you feel the need, I can let you have one to knock some sense into lover boy.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  She went with Nathan into the house, then made her way around to the office, where she found Tynan hunched over the desk tapping away at the keyboard. He spared her a glance. “Fucker had no right calling you. I’m fine.”

  Unceremoniously, Naomi dumped her medical bag on the table beside the desk. “You need to let me check you out. What were you doing when your back locked?”

  “Minding my own business.”

  She ignored him, but temper spiked and burned her chest. “Are you still in pain?”

  “No.”

  “Nathan said you’ve been downing painkillers like they’re going out of fashion.”

  “Nathan needs to butt out of my affairs.”

  Still he kept tapping at the damn keyboard, his eyes focused on the data that screened on the monitor. Naomi studied his profile, noticing the tension lines around his eyes and mouth. He was paler than normal, a drawn look on his face. The way he sat, stiff and unyielding, gave her a good indication of how much discomfort he was in. People often held themselves that way to try to offset pain in the body.

  Her heart squeezed, but she knew there was no point railing on him. He’d just dig those stubborn heels in deeper. She kept her voice steady. “Will you let me check you out?”

  “No need.”

  “You’re still in pain. I can tell.”

  He eased back against the chair and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “What the hell do you want from me, Naomi?”

  “Right now I want to see if you need treatment for your back. Has it ever locked up this way before?”

  He inhaled deeply, then let it out on a long, resigned sigh. Still he didn’t meet her gaze. “Once. Way back. Year or so after the accident.”

  When he’d likely pushed himself too far in an effort to prove he was still capable of extensive physical endurance just like the other males.

  She glanced around, her gaze falling on the long table holding several files and a couple of tablet computers. She went across and started piling the folders and unplugging the tablets. If Tynan started to object, she would simply ignore him. One way or another, she intended to check him out.

  When the table was clear, she walked back to Tynan. He’d gone back to whatever he was doing on the computer, but, obviously aware that she stood beside him, he looked up.

  He didn’t speak, and for long moments, Naomi just stared into those amazing green eyes. The deep scoring etched around them did nothing to deter from their power, and she wanted to reach out and smooth away the tension lines. But the invisible barrier between them was an almost palpable thing.

  Guilt mingled with regret, but Naomi knew she had done the right thing by building that defense. Pushing her personal feelings aside, she focused on her professional duties. “Come on over and lie down. Do you need me to help you?”

  The look he flashed her could have melted ice, and she wanted to throw up her hands in disbelief. What was it about these bloody alphas that the offer of physical assistance could be so objectionable?

  But then his eyes narrowed, and in them she saw the truth of it. He didn’t need or want any help from her. In fact, right then she imagined he didn’t even want her in the vicinity.

  Well, it was too damn bad. She folded her arms across her chest.

  “You either let me check you out, or I call an ambulance. Your choice.”

  His hand wrenched through his hair again. “Okay. O-fucking-kay. Anything to get you off my damn case.”

  She stepped back, barely able to keep from reaching forward to help him up. Although he tried to disguise it, she noticed his slow, careful movements and the way he bit back a grimace when he placed his hands on the desk and heaved himself out of the chair.

  Naomi winced inwardly, suffering each new grip of pain with him. In that moment,
she would gladly take his pain as hers. The man she loved was hurting, and she wanted to take all that hurt away.

  But she had given up the right to do that, which meant all she could do was call on her medical expertise to help him in a practical way. He really needed to see a specialist. But that was another battle for another day. Although, it wouldn’t be hers. If her plans came to fruition, she would soon be leaving for London again.

  She swallowed back the melancholy that came with the thought. It wouldn’t do to dwell on it right now.

  Instead of moving toward the table she had cleared, Tynan turned around. He placed his hands on the back of the chair and straddled it.

  “It would be better if you’d lie down.”

  Tynan let out a sigh. “This is all you get, Doc.”

  Naomi supposed she’d have to make do with it. The more she pushed him, the more he’d resist her. She lowered her arms, steeling herself against the tremble that moved through her body at the sight of his powerful shoulders, his impressively broad back. Reaching out, she laid her palms gently over his lower back. The whole area felt like granite. It was a wonder he could move at all with that amount of tension in his muscles.

  She grabbed a handful of his shirt and tugged it from his waistband. “Can you unhook the button of your jeans? I need to…get my hands down to the base of your spine.”

  When he complied, Naomi tugged down his jeans. She swallowed when the crease of his backside came into view and despite her best efforts she couldn’t stop the ripple of heat that moved through her body.

  Chastising herself for her lack of professionalism, she stood behind him and placed her thumbs at waist level either side of his spine. “Try to relax as best you can. I’m going to apply a little pressure to each area.”

  After waiting a couple of seconds, Naomi pressed down and began to massage through the tension. On more than one occasion, she had to remind herself that she was a doctor, a professional, and right then Tynan was simply a patient. But it was almost impossible to forget the way he’d felt against her, the way she’d felt against him. The feel of his hands gliding over every inch of her, just as hers had journeyed over every inch of him.

  She was jolted from her inappropriate reverie by Tynan’s sudden reaction to pressure at the base of his spine.

  He jerked, his shoulders jabbing forward. “Shit.”

  “Sorry.” It seemed like small stones were lodged beneath her thumbs, and she eased up on the pressure, massaging smoothly and gently until she felt him relax a little. “I’m going to press down harder again. Tell me if it’s too much.”

  He remained silent, although she could tell from the slight jolt of his muscles each time she hit the spot.

  She kept up the pressure for several minutes, until her own back started complaining about the angle at which she stood bent over him. But she knew he was feeling relief from the way his body had slumped forward, his forehead resting on his folded forearms. Beneath her hands, his skin felt smooth and warm, the muscles releasing more with each rub and press of her thumbs.

  Placing her palms flat on his lower back, she ran them up each side of his spine and then down again. Slowly, rhythmically. She manipulated him with the heels of her hands, while her fingers pressed lightly into his warm, and now yielding, flesh.

  Soon, the repetitive movements lulled her into a dangerous reverie, and memories of their time together filled her head, her heart. A bittersweet melancholy descended, fueled by the realization that she would never again feel him against her…moving over her…driving inside her. That they would never again be lovers. That he would never be hers.

  “Shit,” Tynan muttered, yanking her from her trance. “You’d better stop doing that, Doc. Unless you want to be responsible for an entirely different part of my anatomy going into spasm.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Tynan didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone move as fast as Naomi did when he told her she was responsible for giving him one hell of an erection. But the slow and steady feel of her hands sliding up and down his back had been the best panacea for his aches and pains. As a result, blood soon starting circulating in other areas of his anatomy.

  Magic hands, he thought. She’d done a damn fine job on both his muscles and his erection. Right now, he felt fucking good about the former and bloody frustrated about the latter.

  When she’d first put her hands on him, he’d steeled himself against her touch. It was torture having her steadily manipulate his flesh, while her soft breath whispered over his back and her heady scent invaded his nostrils. Everything inside him rebelled at the contact, while his very soul craved it.

  Standing well away from him, Naomi ran her hands up and down the front of her skirt. “All I was trying to do was give you some pain relief because you’ve been stupid and pushed yourself to extremes.”

  “If I want to push myself to extremes, that’s my business.”

  “Then what was all that crap you gave me about learning to live with the consequences of what happened to you? Accepting that life is different because of it? You’re still determined to push things, Tynan. You’re still determined to prove some ridiculous male pact thing that says because you’re a first born you have to be some macho idiot who can outrun, outsmart any other equally macho idiot in the pack. But no, you’re not going to allow the past to screw up your future, are you? All you’re going to do is risk permanent injury for the sake of proving to yourself and everyone else that your injury doesn’t define you.”

  Gingerly, he sat upright, put a hand to his back and stretched. Jeez. It felt amazing. “Maybe I listened to what you said about choices, about being free to make your own decisions, not let anyone else control you. Or maybe that’s only your prerogative. Doctor Naomi Flynn is the only one who gets to live without interference from anyone else.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “Yeah? Then tell me something.” Placing his hands on the back of the chair, he stood and shoved the chair away. “How does my choice of pushing myself physically differ from your choice of shutting yourself off emotionally?”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  “Damn right it is. You told me to back off, to leave you alone. I did. But then you come marching in here determined to administer to what you think are my needs, and when I tell you to back off and leave me alone, you just keep on pressing until you get your own way.”

  He kept his eyes on hers and took a couple of steps toward her. “Well, maybe I’m going to take my lead from you yet again, Doc. Maybe I’m going to press and push until you have no option but to let me in.”

  A startled expression came into her eyes and there must have been something perverse in him that he took pleasure in knocking her off balance. It seemed only fair, seeing he hadn’t exactly felt steady since he’d seen her hurrying out of Seth’s hotel. She’d cut him off at the knees, rocked his whole fucking world off its axis, and she had the nerve to insinuate she was the only one scared of losing control.

  “I came here today as a doctor,” she said, that haughty chin angling into the air. “The only thing that interests me is your health.”

  “Last I checked, you weren’t my doctor.”

  “You’re being obtuse.”

  “You want to know about obtuse?” Facing her, he zipped his jeans and tucked in his shirt. “It’s throwing away something good because you’re too much of a coward to see it through. It’s letting some half-assed fear of what might be obscure what could be. It’s running away so that you don’t have to stick around and face up to what you really want.”

  “I know what I want, and I’m doing everything in my power to get it.”

  “The research fellowship.”

  Naomi looked up, surprise lighting her eyes before resignation took over. “I might have known it wouldn’t stay confidential for long around here.”

  Tyn
an pushed back the edge of panic that Naomi might soon be out of his life again for good. To hell with that. He wasn’t going to concede defeat until she outright admitted she didn’t want him.

  “What happens after that?” he demanded. “More research? More accolades? Degrees and certificates aren’t much to cozy up to when the nights turn cold.”

  “It’s not about degrees and accolades. It’s about helping people. That’ll keep me warm at night. I can’t give my attention to both my career and a personal relationship.”

  “Talia finds a way. She’s concentrating on her career and keeping Caleb happy at the same time. Okay, he’s not doing cartwheels that she’s not pregnant yet, but he’s prepared to wait, to compromise.”

  Naomi wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes flitting everywhere but at him.

  He stepped closer, encouraged when she held her ground. There was something in her expression. Sadness. Despair. He ached to wrap her up in his arms, to take away every hurt and heartache she’d ever suffered in her life.

  “Why won’t you give us a chance, sweetheart?”

  She looked at him, tears welling at her lower lashes. She closed her eyes and shook her head. A lone tear tracked down her cheek, and it was his undoing. He drew her in, wrapped his arms tight enough around her to make his back complain. He ignored it.

  She held herself stiffly in his arms, her hands tight to her sides. “You don’t understand.” Sniffing back the emotion, she eased out of his hold. “It’s best this way, Tynan.”

  He caught her hands in his. “Are you still afraid I’ll try and run your life? That I’ll make you go in directions you don’t want to go?”

  She shook her head again.

  “Then what? Look, if you want to do this research fellowship, I’ll support you all the way. Whatever you want for yourself? That’s what I want for you too. Hell, we can get a contract drawn up to that effect if it helps.”

  Naomi smiled a little but pulled one of her hands away to brush her cheek dry. She didn’t feel as if she had much fight left in her anymore. A determined Tynan was a powerhouse of irresistibility, and she suddenly felt drained. He’d worn down all her defenses until she had none left to hide behind.