TAUT

by JA Huss

  “We’re gonna stand up now, Ashleigh. OK?”

  Ash shakes her head no.

  “Yes, we’re gonna grab Kate, take a real shower, and go to fucking bed. I do not care what time it is, this day is over.”

  And that’s exactly what we do. Ash manages to pull herself together and get Kate out of her carrier, undress her, and then they meet me in the shower on the other side of the bathroom. I sit her down on the bench and cranky Kate sucks at her mother’s breast greedily as I wash us with a soft sponge and luxurious soap that smells like a tropical island.

  When we’re done I turn the water off and wrap Kate and Ashleigh in my dark blue robe. They swim inside of it and it wraps around them almost twice, but it keeps them warm. I wrap a towel around me and then lead Ash over to the spare room.

  Pam is a miracle worker. It’s not the princess nursery Kate deserves, but it will do for tonight. There’s a portable crib with soft bedding in it, a changing table, diapers, clothes, all that other shit I’ve seen Ash use but don’t really know what it’s for.

  “You need help?” I ask Ashleigh as she sprinkles some baby powder on Kate’s bottom and then fastens up her diaper. Kate is making little mad grabs at Ashleigh’s hanging hair, oblivious to the pain her mother is enduring.

  “No, thank you,” Ash replies and then slips a pink t-shirt over Kate’s head and picks her up. “But I’m not sure about leaving her in here alone.”

  I point to the baby monitor. “We can turn that on if you want. Or she can sleep with us.”

  Ashleigh looks over at the baby monitor for several long seconds. “With us until she falls asleep, then I’ll bring her in here.”

  I turn the light out after she exits and a little yellow moon flicks on near the crib. Pam thinks of everything.

  Ashleigh takes off the robe and lies down in bed naked. She slips the baby up to her breast and nurses Kate again. I imagine it would be hard to give up the comfort she gets from having the baby with her at night. I bet she enjoys it just as much as Kate does. I get in beside her, lean over and click the bedside lamp off, then pull them close.

  “I have no idea what I’m doing, Ford.”

  “Me either, Ashleigh. I’m making it up as I go.”

  “Should I go back to Japan?”

  “Do you want to go back to Japan?”

  “No.”

  “Then don’t. Stay here. I’d like you guys to stay here.”

  “My father will want to see me.”

  “Do you want to see him?”

  “No.”

  “So don’t. Just stay with me. Let me take care of things. Let me take care of you two.”

  She leans back into my chest, her back pressed against me. “OK.”

  And that’s it. We lie there in the dark, listening to Kate gulp milk and the low hum of distant cars far down on the road below.

  And we fall asleep as a family for the first time ever.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  I wake up to no Ashleigh or Kate. My heart pounds in my chest with this realization until I hear the soft whispers coming from down the hall. I lie there listening to Ashleigh sing a little song to Kate and can’t help but wonder how long this can possibly last.

  She is everything I wanted. They are both everything I’ve wanted.

  A few minutes later Ashleigh tiptoes back into the room and slips into bed next to me.

  I wrap my arm around her and pull her close. We’re both naked and her warm body feels so perfect next to mine. Her skin is soft and she smells good enough to eat.

  “Sorry,” she says quietly. “I tried not to wake you when I got up.”

  “It was your absence that woke me, not the noise you were making.”

  She turns to face me, propped up on her forearms. “I’m so sorry you had to see me like that today, Ford. I’m—”

  “Shh,” I say, putting my finger to her pouty lips. “You do not owe me an apology. I know, Ashleigh. I understand you. You love him, he was your whole life. And now he’s gone and you were absolutely right back in Utah. You got shit on. Bad. Life fucked you over and then kicked you when you were down. I’m surprised you’re still functioning.”

  Her fingertips trace the muscles in my upper arms and it sends a chill through my whole body. “I know all that. I’m not sorry about that part. I’m sorry you had to listen to me carry on about him. It’s not fair to you. I like you, a lot. And when I said I loved you, Ford, I meant you. And I know you said it back as Tony, but I just wanted you to know—”

  My thumb against her lips stops her words. The moon is shining through the curtainless windows and the silver light illuminates her face, like she’s a precious work of art on display in my bed. “I love you. I’m in, Ashleigh. I want you, I want Kate, I want this. I want to sleep with you every night and give you everything you want. I’m in.”

  I position myself so my bare chest is over hers and then both hands cup her face as I lean in. “I’m in, Ashleigh.” And then I kiss her. I skim her lips with mine. And my heart almost stops at how soft they are. I nip her bottom lip and she sucks in a breath, then she wraps her hands around my head. I kiss her again, my tongue looking for hers, my eyes closing, trying to hold this feeling inside me for as long as possible. As the kiss lingers, breaks, and starts again, Ashleigh fists my hair, pulling it just enough to make me grow with desire. She inserts her thigh between my legs and eases it into my hard-on.

  I pull back so I can look at her in the moonlight again. “You are beautiful. I could look at you all day long and never get tired of tracing the line of your lips with my eyes or imagining myself biting your earlobe.”

  “You take all the bad away for me, Ford. When I’m with you, all that stuff disappears.”

  My thumb traces small circles on her cheek and I watch her. I’m fulfilled just gazing at her but I want her to be fulfilled too, so I slip my hand down her belly and stop over her mound. My hand splays out, feeling every part of her folds, then one finger traces the slit of her pussy and pushes inside her. She moans and I lean down and bite her shoulder, hard enough to make her cry out, but still just a nibble.

  Her hands reach for me and I bite her again. “Grab the headboard, Ashleigh, and do not let go until I tell you.” She obeys immediately and this makes me stretch to my full hardness. “You may moan, you may scream, you may whine, you may whimper, you may cry, you may laugh, you may show your emotions in any way you please. But the only words you are allowed to say are no and stop.”

  She nods her head and this makes me smile. The old Ash would smart off with a yes, sir. But New Ashleigh wants to please me.

  “If you say no or stop, that’s it, I stop. No questions asked.”

  She nods and grips the headboard a little tighter.

  I throw the covers off and get out of bed. I watch her carefully as I do this, looking for any hint that she wants to stop, but while her eyes are exhibiting curiosity, they are not showing any fear whatsoever. I walk to the closet and grab all of my neckties. She watches me very carefully as I tie several end to end, then repeat the process so I have two long silk tie strands. I have rope, but I don’t want to scratch Ashleigh’s perfect skin.

  I walk back to the bed and sit down next to her, then grab one ankle, wrap the tie carefully, but tightly. And then push her knees up to her chest and wrap the tied ankle to her thigh.

  She remains still, hands holding onto the headboard, but she’s paying close attention.

  I repeat this entire process with her other ankle and then I sit back and enjoy her spread open for me. He eyes wander down to my cock and I feel it jump with excitement. My hands caress her calves and then travel up and grab her on each side by the waist and pull her whole body down a little so her arms are straining to hold onto the headboard. “Is this what you wanted last night?”

  She nods. And then she smiles.

  “I have a confession to make. Would you like to hear it?”

  She nods again.

  “I actually do take request
s on very special occasions. And tonight is a very special occasion. Do you want to know why it’s so special?”

  She nods.

  I lean down and kiss her pussy, then lick her slit and suck her clit, making her moan. I do it again and this time she squirms. I ease two fingers inside her and stroke her gently back and forth, then I turn my fingers around and beckon to her sweet spot.

  This time she tries to hold the moans in, which only makes them more pronounced when they finally escape.

  I love this.

  I bury my face between her thighs, grabbing her clit between my teeth for a brief moment, but long enough to make her gasp loudly. I suck on it and then shift my attention to lapping against the forward wall of her sex with my tongue, before pulling back.

  “It’s special, Ashleigh, because you are the first woman I will make love to.” I ease myself between her open legs, drag my cock across her exposed clit, letting it pause at her opening. I push it in slightly, then withdraw and start again. Her moaning gets louder with each pass but I withhold what she wants. “Do not come yet, Ash.” Her expression is almost painful and I have to stifle a laugh. “Do your best, kitten.”

  Her pussy releases some of her juices when I use the nickname and this does so many things to me inside, I almost have no words. I drag the head of my cock over her clit again and she arches her back. I do it harder and faster, harder and faster. “Do you like it, kitten?” Hot liquid squirts out and floods my cock head with warmth.

  “Oh, you are one sexy little surprise, Miss Li.”

  She blushes and laughs a little.

  “Let’s do that again.” I whip her pussy with my dick, back and forth, several times, and with each pass she squirts a little more, her back buckles, her thighs begin to twitch from the restraints, and then one final pass is all she can take.

  She explodes, screaming my name and panting hard as I thrust my cock inside her pussy. I ram it into her, pull out so far she’s straining to move her body towards me and keep a hold of the headboard at the same time, and then I plunge into her depths again. Over and over, I pump and thrust, and over and over she says my name. “Ford, Ford, Ford,” she begs.

  I lower myself over the top of her breasts and suck gently. It’s enough to make her cry, but not with pleasure this time. I adjust and let my tongue caress the hard nub as my cock fills her again and again. Her whole body tenses and I pull away, all the way out, and roll over. “Let go of the headboard, Ashleigh. Let go and ease your pussy over my cock, but do not sink down onto it. Do you understand?”

  She rolls over, struggling to right herself in her bindings, and presses her hands on my chest so she can hover over top of me.

  I squeeze her breasts, harder than I should, and the milk drips out and runs over her swollen curves and lands on my stomach. “Fill yourself with my cock, now, Ashleigh.” She lowers herself on top of me and I squeeze her tits again and then massage the sticky liquid around her nipples.

  “Take me in, Ashleigh. Take me in and come for me.”

  She lowers herself down on my chest, rubbing her folds back and forth across the length of my cock, then lifts up and slams down as I make her pussy and her nipples drip with wetness.

  We moan each other’s names as we climax together. “I might need to spank you for speaking,” I tell her softly a few minutes later as I wrap my arms around her waist and breathe heavy into her neck.

  “I know,” she says with a resigned sigh. “I’m counting on it.”

  I laugh as I reach down and untie her legs. She stretches them out along my body when they loosen, but neither of us has the energy to remove the bindings from her ankles.

  She falls asleep on top of me, satisfied, sticky, wet, and warm.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  All three of us are twisted together in the morning. Kate is lying half on me and half on Ashleigh, her little mouth open and her tongue making that little suckling motion. Ashleigh’s arms are above her head—like they are when I fuck her, I think absently—and she too is passed out cold. I wonder if Kate was demanding last night and that’s why she ended up in bed with us?

  Or maybe Ashleigh just likes sleeping with her. I lift Kate off me and place her on the bed next to Ashleigh, then grab some running shorts from the dresser and stick my phone in my pocket. It’s bright out today and the sun is shining in the large south-facing windows. The back of the house has a fantastic view of LA.

  I’m just about to head out and go for a run on Mulholland when Kate starts getting cranky.

  “Katielynn, you’re not hungry, baby. You just ate,” Ash says in her I’m too fucking tired for this voice. “Shhhh. Go back to sleep. Shhhh.”

  “I got her.” I pick Kate up and lean in to smell her. She’s still good, thank God. I open the sliding door that leads to the pool and slip outside into the sun. Kate tucks her face against my chest to avoid the brightness and I take a seat in a lounge chair. I look down at the baby. Her little fists are clutching at my upper arms and she’s looking up at me with those big browns. “What’s up, Kate?”

  She blinks.

  I laugh. “I like you. I want to keep you. Would you like to live here? It’s not a bad place. It’s got a great view, it’s centrally located to all the best studios. And it’s got a pool, right? You could do worse.”

  She blinks.

  “Oh yeah, I’d keep your mom too. No worries. She’s the milk machine.” I hear some snickering from the bedroom door and Ashleigh is peeking her head out the door.

  “Quit sneaking and come out here.”

  “I’m naked.”

  “So? I thought you likes the exhibitionist stuff?”

  She gets over her shyness, or maybe she just wants to drive me crazy, because she steps out and walks over to us. “I heard that, you know,” she says taking a seat on the lounger next to me. She pulls her legs up and Kate immediately starts whining to go to her. I hand the baby over and she gives her the breast. “I guess she was hungry after all.”

  “So do you?” I ask. She just stares at me. “Want to stay here?”

  “I’m not sure you understand what you’re getting in to. I’m a single mom.”

  “I’m a single guy.”

  “I have Kate and—”

  “And I want Kate, Ashleigh. I do. I want you both.”

  She watches Kate nurse in silence for a few seconds and then turns to look out at the view. The back patio is not large, not by Colorado standards anyway. Our yard in Park Hill is ten times this big. But this place has an infinity pool with an unobstructed view.

  “I’ll call in child-proofers, Ashleigh. We’ll get a cover for the pool, and fence that part of the hill off so she can’t get into trouble.” Holy shit, I don’t even know where that came from. I’ve never said the word child-proofers in my life.

  “That’s not it, Ford.”

  My phone buzzes in my shorts and I check the call real fast. Jason in Vail. Probably to tell me about Ash’s car. I press silent and go back to the conversation. “Then what?”

  She shakes her head. “I’m a mess. Just a total mess.”

  “You’re not a mess, Ashleigh. In fact, you’re coping better than most people would in your circumstances. Do you feel any better today?”

  “I do,” she nods. “I do feel better. But I’m still so sad. Just picturing his face is enough to make me cry. Just all of it, the whole thing was just… traumatic. And I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna be happy if I’m moping around all the time thinking of the man I lost.” She looks up at me and shrugs. “I know I’d feel weird if the tables were turned.”

  I think about this for a while and Ash leans back and closes her eyes. She is so beautiful. “I’m not jealous of him.” And as soon as the words come out I understand Ronin. It’s strange. It’s like this realization hits me out of nowhere. I’m not jealous of Tony because Tony isn’t a threat. Tony makes Ashleigh whole, but Tony is gone. And that’s not something that will ever change. Ronin must feel this way about me. I make Rook wh
ole, but he knows her heart belongs to him. He wants me in her life to make her happy. Because he loves her.

  “Tell me how you met.”

  “Who?”

  “You and Tony.”

  “Why would you want to know that?”

  “Because you love him and you miss him. And I’m sure you’re dying to tell anyone who will listen about all the things that made him so special. And I’d like to listen, Ashleigh. Because… because I want to make you happy. I want to know because he’s part of you and Kate, and I want you and Kate. I’m hooked. I can’t even imagine leaving you behind.”

  She just stares at me.

  “So tell me. Start from the beginning.”

  She hugs baby Kate a little tighter, much to the dismay of the hungry infant, and then looks out over the valley. “I was fourteen years old. And he was sixteen. My father told me I had to join a sport when we finally settled in Rancho Santa Fe and I started going to a local school. So I joined basketball.”

  I laugh.

  “I know,” she says, smiling. “I’m five foot two.” And now she laughs. “But it was winter and it was either that or cheerleading. I took my chances with basketball. Anyway, we would travel to the other schools in the area for games and stuff, and Tony went to another school. Co-ed. Mine was all girls, remember?”

  I nod. I have not gotten the image out of my mind and now I’m picturing her in a basketball uniform. But it’s probably inappropriate to say that when she’s telling me how she met her first love.

  “I sat the bench for every game. The coach knew I was only on the team to please my father, so she never made me play. But every time we went to play against the girls at Trinity Day I’d see this guy. Total hotness, jock, already built like a man.”

  “Tony.”

  “Anthony Fenici.” She blushes at his name. A decade later and the simple act of saying this guy’s name is enough to make her blush. “That first game I was just minding my own business, warming my bench, and then the coach asked me to go out to her car and get her notebook. So I took her keys and went out to the parking lot, got the stuff, and I was walking back when I saw hot-assed Anthony Fenici making out with a girl against the building. And when I walked past, I was staring. I was young, I’d never kissed a boy, so I was sorta gawking at them. And then I noticed that Anthony Fenici was watching me gawk at him. Even as he stuck his tongue down this other girl’s throat. And then he winked at me.”