by KL Donn
Dreaming of California
Daniels Family Book 4
KL Donn
Copyright © 2021 by KL Donn
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Editing by KA Matthews
Cover & Formatting by Alluring Write Productions
Created with Vellum
Contents
Synopsis
Prologue
1. Cali
2. Silas
3. Roman
4. Silas
5. Roman
Epilogue
About the Author
Also by KL Donn
Synopsis
California Brennan is a wanderer. A free spirit. She never settles for long in one place. Until temptation strikes.
Silas Kenborn has a dark past filled with hatred he’d rather keep buried. Meeting Cali on a mission, he isn’t prepared for the desires she inspires.
Roman Ivie has been in love with his best friend for years. It’s not until he’s confronted with an unusual proposition that he envisions the future he’s longed for.
Can they defy the odds, or will this trio split for good?
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Dreaming of California is a MMF menage romance.
Prologue
Cali
“California Love” by Tupac and Dr. Dre plays loudly on the radio as I sit in congested traffic on the Pacific Coast Highway. Leaving Tennessee earlier in the week was hard but easier than I had thought. I love my cousin Noah, and I was so excited to see him finally get his girl, but I was also feeling a little blue.
I’ve always been a wanderer, a free spirit. Maybe even a bit of a gypsy. But witnessing my cousin so happy—the love, family, and happiness surrounding him—had me jealous and envious.
I want that.
Though, I’ll never achieve it.
I can’t seem to hold onto a relationship to save my life. I ruin everything, just like my mother.
Horns blaring shock me out of my reverie as I notice the cars ahead of me begin moving. Thoughts of Roman and Silas filter through my mind as I hedge forward until the next red light.
Without a word, I left them in South Carolina. I knew they would find me in Tennessee, and I know they’ll find me here in Los Angeles again. It’s their job. They locate people, arrest people, work for a government agency they can’t tell me about, and that’s the problem. I’ve lived my entire life surrounded by so many unknowns that I can’t handle it with them.
Forget that they both want me. That I’m crazy about them. I can’t do secrets.
And they’re filled to the brim with them.
Always sharing knowing looks and not saying a word when I ask them about it. Leaving to “work” without being able to tell me where or when they’d be back. I can’t handle that uncertainty, and when I told them that, they just reassured me everything would be fine.
That’s when I left South Carolina.
When I left my heart behind in shattered pieces of glass.
Chapter 1
Cali
A Few Months Later.
Rinsing the suds from my hair, I try to wash away the tears. Roman and Silas are here. Months after I ran away, they found me. Which isn’t surprising since that’s their livelihood.
After spending the last few weeks convincing my friend, and roommate, Calla Davies to give her man a chance, she took my advice, and now she’s trying to convince me to take it as well. The trouble is they’re still secretive, and I’m still skeptical. I’m not asking them to quit, or, at least, I didn’t think I was. But if they stay, can they ever give me the honesty I’ve been asking for? How can it be possible for us to have a relationship otherwise?
Shutting the water off, I step out into the chilly bathroom, allowing the air to dry me off as I wipe the condensation from the mirror. Staring at the girl facing me, she looks exhausted and sad. Something I’ve never really been, even after losing my parents. I’ve always taken everything in stride.
But now, my heart is firmly on the line, and it hurts.
Like a punch to the gut, it cramps every time I think of these stubborn, fickle, possessive men. We’ve kissed, made out for hours, but I’ve never been intimate with either of them, and I have to wonder if that’s where I’m having so much trouble.
I love them; I have no doubt about it. But how can a relationship like ours survive?
Stepping out of the bathroom while scrubbing my hair dry with the towel, I don’t expect company, not after Calla moved out.
“Fuck. Me.” Roman’s voice stops me in my tracks. Peeking up at him through my dark curly hair, I bite my lip. I didn’t wrap a towel around my body, so I’m stark naked. “Damn,” he groans, stepping forward from the dinky kitchen.
I’m frozen to the spot, unable to move to even cover myself up. “Uhm, what are you doing here?” Reaching a hand out, he glides the tips of his fingers across my belly and around to my back. “Roman?” I choke out, shivering at his touch.
“You’re so fucking silky.” The feel of his soft shirt brushing along my back has my over-sensitive skin vibrating. “Silas is going to be pissed he went for coffee.”
The words are barely out of his mouth before the man in question walks in. Without missing a beat, he kicks the door shut, places the tray of coffees on the counter, and stalks towards me like I’m his prey.
His blue eyes darken to nearly black as he licks across his lips. Without a word, Silas bends down, gripping the back of my thighs, and picks me up. Slamming his mouth down on mine, he forces me back into Roman’s sturdy frame, and I register when he hits the wall.
“You woke the beast now,” Roman chuckles as he kisses along my shoulder and neck.
Silas’s tongue delves deep into my mouth, exploring every crevice. Taking my breath and infusing life into me with his own.
“Silas,” I gasp out, forcing our mouths to break. “What are you guys doing here?”
“You keep kicking us out, California. We’ve decided that doesn’t work for us anymore. We’re here to stay, and you’re going to stop fighting us and agree to be ours.”
“Or what?” I glare at the man.
“Or nothing. This isn’t an ultimatum. This is us telling you what’s happening,” Silas growls like it’s a done deal.
“You know you’re tired of running, Cali,” Roman croons in my ear.
He’s not wrong. Neither of them is, really. I want to be theirs, but I can’t live with the half-truths anymore. Not again.
“Can I get dressed?” I decide not to address either of their statements. They reluctantly let me go, and I slip into my once-shared room with Calla and hurriedly get dressed in a pair of shorts, tank top, and pink cowgirl boots. Twisting my hair up into a messy bun, I open the door, knowing they won’t wait forever.
Staring at the men leaning against the wall, I blow out a breath. “I was promised coffee.” Silas grins, knowing it’s my weakness. “Calla has moved out, which means I’m moving out.”
They both spear me with a predatory look. “We have a house,” they respond in unison as Silas hands me my coffee.
Taking a satisfying drink of the hot brew, I’m pleased he got my order right. Black with a double shot of vanilla. I can feel their eyes on me as I swallow until it’s gone, not caring about how hot it is, just jonesing for that shot of caffeine.
“Well?” Silas questions, and I tilt my head in confusion. “We have a h
ouse,” he repeats.
The man is so serious. He hides pain like an arsonist hides a match. He doesn’t want me to see it, but it’s there nonetheless, and I feel it bleeding from him every time he gets exasperated by Roman or me because our personalities are so alike. Silas grounds us, though. He keeps the two of us from getting into too much trouble.
“So?” I realize them stating that fact is likely their way of asking me to move in with them, but unless they say the actual words, ask the real question, I refuse to consider it.
Roman is the more jovial of the two. He’s not afraid to tell me what he’s thinking at all times; he jokes, he laughs. He looks at life like it’s one big day at an amusement park, and I love that about him. On the flip side are his secrets, not just from his occupation but from his past as well.
“Dude.” Roman swats Silas’s shoulder. “She wants the fucking question. Not an assumption.” They glare at each other for a minute, and it’s then that I see it again. This feeling I got in South Carolina with Roman. He doesn’t just want a friendship with Silas; he has feelings for him. That secret between them is one reason I’ve kept reconsidering our relationship.
“She knows exactly what I’m asking; the woman is being stubborn,” Silas snaps, turning his icy glare on me. I shrug.
With no work shift today, I don’t have an excuse to run away from these two like I have been all week. I’m stuck, and I’m not sure if I’m annoyed or interested in seeing this house of theirs. Perhaps I’ll start looking for one of my own until they ask me.
Silas
Leaning against the truck as Cali and Rome head inside another building so she can look at an apartment, I’m more than fucking annoyed. She’s doing this to punish me, and my so-called best fucking friend is enjoying it. Cali has had us chasing our tails since that hot South Carolina day we met nearly a year ago.
With her long, dark brown, wind-blown hair, bright hazel eyes, and a wild streak a mile wide, California Brennan isn’t just a wanderer or free spirit. She’s a damn unicorn. The type of woman every man wants, but they can never catch because of that heart of a gypsy. She doesn’t give a damn about society or convention. Cali wants love.
Something I honestly didn’t think I was capable of anymore.
Not after Belize.
The horrors and the mass genocide that I witnessed that day will forever live with me, but Cali makes me want the dream. Love, marriage, family.
The trouble is, I can’t do any of those things without Roman. He’s the lighter side of us. He keeps me sane. Without him, I don’t know that I’d be functioning very well.
After we caught up with Cali’s cousin in Fayetteville a few months ago, we tracked her down to Long Beach. It wasn’t hard because she wasn’t hiding. Not really. Our girl wants to be caught; she just wants to make us work for it first.
The three of us share a connection I’ve never experienced before, and after one date with her, Rome and I agreed that she was our forever. Neither of us felt jealousy over the attention she gave the other, and maybe one day that might change, but in my gut, I know it won’t.
Seeing them come out of the building, Rome shaking his head no, and Cali with a dispiriting look on her face, I stride forwards, wrapping an arm around her neck. “How’d it go?”
“Ever smelled the inside of a month’s worth of stinky gym socks?” Cali gags a little as she asks.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Oh good. Because this place smelled ten times worse.” Rome laughs as she hides her face in my chest.
The words needed to end this charade are on the tip of my tongue, but something’s stopping me, and it feels an awful lot like fear of rejection. She’s the only person who has ever had this effect on me.
“Where to next?” I ask as I open the passenger side door to let her in. Cali stares up at me with a hint of disappointment in her eyes, and I know it’s because she wants me to extend the invitation.
When I don’t, she slides to the middle and mutters, “I’m thinking about a bigger change. How about San Francisco?” My eyes slide to see Rome glaring at me. I’m pissing him off now too.
Just fucking great.
Walking around the truck, I slide into the driver’s side and decide to ignore her request and head out to the house we rented the day we arrived in Irvine. Either I’ll piss her off and she’ll storm out, or she’ll decide to stay, and maybe we can finally have an honest conversation about the three of us instead of her running away again because that shit just pisses me off and makes me want to tie her to our bed.
“Where are we going?” Cali asks as she plays with the radio.
“Home,” Rome answers her.
“No, we’re not.” Her arms cross, and my hands tighten on the steering wheel. This girl is asking for a hand across her ass. “Because we don’t have a home. You have a house, and I have a tin can for an apartment.”
I can’t stop the growl at her sarcasm. This woman gets under my fucking skin, right where I want her, but goddamn, does she have a mouth on her. I don’t say another word as I drive us home, whether she likes it or not. Entering the gated community, I make two right turns and a left before pulling into the three-story house in a cul-de-sac.
Putting the truck in park, I gaze over at Cali to see her lips pursed, and she’s staring straight ahead. Meeting Rome’s eyes over her head, we share a heated glance before he nods, and I step out of the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind me and heading inside.
He’ll get through to her where I can’t. My way of dealing with her obstinate ass would be a bed and a good, hard fucking. Disarming the alarm after opening the front door, I leave it open for them. I don’t want Cali to feel like I’m shutting her out with a closed door. I’m not good with words, but I can do actions.
The house was furnished when we rented it, so it’s nice, but not personal. It’s not a permanent residence for Rome and me; it’s a place to lay our heads until Cali can tell us what she wants. When she does, we’re prepared to build her the dream house she’s always wanted wherever she wants because home for Rome and me is Cali. The location doesn’t matter to either one of us.
Roman
No matter how many times I’ve teased Si about being a stubborn son of a bitch, he’s got nothing on the woman beside me now. She wants more than what I believe even she understands, but she refuses to tell us precisely what that is.
The fact Si hasn’t laid her over his knee yet is shocking to me. He’s the more dominant of the two of us and is never afraid to take what he wants, but I think with Cali, he’s scared of going too far and getting rejected by her. Whether she knows it or not, she has the power to crush us both.
The connection the three of us share had been instantaneous. We knew from the first date, the first kiss, the first time we told her that we were a packaged deal, that we were meant to be. I never believed in love at first sight until I met her.
After I asked Cali out and Silas showed up on the date, she didn’t balk and run. She was intrigued and curious. I could see the immediate attraction in her gaze as her eyes darted between the two of us.
“You know,” I start to say as I step out of the truck. “If you’d quit shutting us out and listened to what we had to say about why we’re here after you ran, you might find yourself a tad more agreeable.”
Holding a ready hand for her, I wait until her teary eyes meet mine, and I know that Si storming angrily away hurt her. I want to be sorry, but I can’t when she keeps running from us even after admitting she loved us in South Carolina. I have no doubt she meant what she said that day—telling us that she couldn’t live with the secrets no matter how much her heart yearned for us both.
Hell, we feel the same way. It’s why we’re here. But it’s more. Si and I came to a conclusion after missing her in Fayetteville. We can’t live without her.
“I’m afraid, Roman,” she finally murmurs as she unbuckles and slides over to me. Gripping my hand, I help her down from the truck.
> Wrapping an arm across her shoulders, I pull her into my side and kiss the top of her head. “Aren’t we all, though, gypsy girl?” Cali elbows me in the ribs, hating when we call her that, but I think she secretly enjoys it too. Knowing we care enough to give her a nickname.
“Listen, we have a plan.” I guide her into the house, and I can hear the splashing out back. Si exercises his anger away. Although I’m sure he’d like it to be a much different exercise.
“Such as?” She looks up at me as we stop at the open patio doors.
Pushing her out, I tell her, “Make up with Si, and we might tell you.” I wink before heading to the kitchen to grab the pitcher of lemonade I made earlier this morning.
Placing the refreshing drink and some glasses on a tray, I stop in the doorway to stare as the only two people on the planet I love share a glare-off. They’re so damn much alike it hurts to see them fight.
Falling in love with Cali was so damn easy for us. We’ve known for years that we were going to share a woman, that we completed each other in a way that wouldn’t allow us to carry on independent relationships. For me, though? Si isn’t just my best friend. I’ve been secretly in love with him for years.
We’ve known each other since we were fourteen. We became fast friends, graduated high school together, joined the Marines together. Got recruited to the CIA together. Left the CIA together and now work for Asher McCall, the President, and their secret organization to be the fucking best in the business.
Cali changed all of that, though.