Then There Was You

by Heather Thurmeier

  “Did you guys make the escape route?” Dane asked, stretching and taking in their new surroundings. The tunnel had been so low he’d had to run hunched over the entire way.

  “No. The bookstore used to be a slavery safe house, and the passage got moved people in and out unseen. One of the many reasons we bought the place to begin with.”

  “Let’s see if we can barricade the door in case anyone manages to follow us,” Josh said, dropping a large rock at the base of the door.

  Sara grabbed the biggest stone she could find and added hers to the growing pile. Soon, rocks and large logs covered the doorway. Anyone coming from the woods would never think to look twice, and anyone using the tunnel would have a hell of a time getting the door to budge without a good amount of time and effort.

  “When they figure out we’ve gotten away, hopefully they’ll be satisfied to take the supplies and leave us alone.” Josh sat on a fallen log and rubbed his hands across his face, showing the stress and strain of their escape.

  “They might leave you alone, but not me. At the very least, I wounded two of their men. They won’t forget me. Better we keep moving.” Dane shifted his pack around on his shoulders as if trying to make it more comfortable.

  Sara’s bag cut into her shoulder, but she forced the discomfort from her mind, knowing the burden of carrying the load could mean the difference between them living or dying. Besides, the weight of her backpack paled in comparison to the pain in her feet. She might as well be walking on razor blades for all the good the bandages and ointments did to soothe her. She’d heal with rest, but that wouldn’t happen any time soon, judging by the situation they were in.

  Just thinking about the ache with each step forced her to sit for a rest. She cringed as she stretched out her legs, taking the pressure off.

  Dane came to her side. “Are you hurt?”

  She waved him off. “I’ll be fine. It’s my feet, nothing serious.” She turned to Josh. “Where’s everyone else? We’re not leaving them, are we?”

  “They’re up ahead, in the old church.”

  The idea of seeing her family soon made her heart pound and her breath hitch.

  “This way,” she said to Dane, starting off into the woods, limping but moving as fast as she could. Their destination waited less than a mile away. She’d been there a few times before during practice runs for evacuations from the bookstore. She should have known it’s where they’d be without having to ask.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “Sara, wait,” Josh said, running to catch up. He fell into step beside her, and she hobbled even faster, ignoring the pain in her feet but unable to quell her desire to get to her family. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Whatever it is, it can wait. There will be plenty of time to talk later. I want to hear everything at some point.” Sara took Dane’s hand and squeezed it, looking for strength and comfort. She should still be mad at him for their fight earlier, but it didn’t matter anymore.

  As soon as the church came into view, she jogged for it, her body numb. She burst through the doorway and skidded to a stop. Her family huddled together on an old pew, pushed to the side of the room. Her footsteps slowed as she drew nearer. Tension hung in the air like heavy fog, tinted with waves of sadness. Her father lay on the pew, covered in a blanket.

  “Hi,” she said, raising her hand in a little wave. She’d thought about what she’d say in this moment if she ever got the chance, about what she’d do. None of it came to mind as she got to see her family again for the first time since the outbreak.

  “Sara!” Her sister shrieked, jumping up and throwing her arms around her shoulders, hugging her. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  This isn’t happening. She hugged her sister regardless. It felt like a dream she’d had multiple times since being separated from them. She’d see her family, they would have a wonderful reunion, and they’d share a meal and stories about what they’d been doing. Then they would vanish before her eyes. One minute, they would be in her arms, and the next, she’d be grasping at nothing but air. She always woke with a sob on her breath.

  Sara extricated herself from her sister’s embrace and went to her mom, falling to her knees to hug her where she knelt beside the pew. Uncontrollable tears streamed down her face, and she didn’t bother to wipe them away. She’d been strong, holding in her worry and pain as best she could, but now, she couldn’t stop the release even if she wanted to.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay, honey,” her mom said, holding her daughter’s head in her hands. Sara saw her fear, worry, and anxiety all reflected in her mom’s eyes.

  She dropped her gaze to her father. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, his skin sallow, his lips dry. Something in her chest twisted, making her breath hitch. “What’s wrong with Dad?”

  “You didn’t say anything?” Sue asked, accusation in her voice. “How could you let her walk in here without warning her?”

  “I didn’t get the chance. We were running for our lives, and then when I tried to tell her, she wouldn’t stop long enough to listen.”

  “What’s going on? Someone tell me.” Sara tried to keep her voice steady, but it wavered, nonetheless.

  “Dad’s sick,” Sue said, rubbing her hands together.

  “Is it the virus?” Her pulse thundered in her ears as she waited for an answer she didn’t want to hear.

  “No,” Sue whispered.

  “Thank God,” Sara said, letting out her breath.

  “But it’s not much better. It’s likely pneumonia, and it’s getting worse. Much worse.”

  “So take him to the hospital. Get him antibiotics, and he’ll be good as new in a few days.”

  “He’s already been on them and it didn’t help.” Her mom spoke with such kindness it made Sara weep. “We’ve tried all the hospitals in the area but they are all out of medicines. It’s one thing we didn’t plan for. There’s nothing else we can do but hope for the best.”

  Sara’s head spun, and she grabbed the edge of the pew to steady herself. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t have come all this way, been through so much, and at last found her family just to lose her father. This had to be another dream. A nightmare this time. Soon, she’d wake up, and it would be her and Dane again.

  “I know he’ll be happy to see you.” Her mom rubbed her back, comforting her like she’d always done. The gesture made Sara feel like a six year old again, like her mom’s kiss on the forehead could make all the bad in the world disappear.

  Numbness settled over Sara like a fog. She held her father’s hand and stroked his pale skin with her thumb. She remembered all the times they’d sat on the couch, watching a game together, cheering for the underdogs, whoever they happened to be. She traced the scar on the side of his finger, the one he got the time he’d tried to teach her how to fish and instead just taught her how to hook his finger.

  She rested her forehead on the edge of the pew as the tears came faster and faster, blurring her vision. She was aware of people saying things to her, but didn’t hear a word. None of it mattered anyway.

  Sometime later, a hand stroked through her hair, and she realized it belonged to her father. She moved slowly, not wanting to startle him. His eyes were open as he smiled at her.

  “Sara,” he whispered. “My sweet Sara. I’m so sorry you have to see your old dad this way.”

  She grabbed his hand in both of hers and brought it to her lips, kissing his knuckles then holding them against her cheek. Her gaze never left his. She wanted to take in every second with him she could get.

  “I’m here, Dad.” Sara took in a deep, shaky breath, which did little to calm the hurricane of emotions running inside her.

  “You should go. You should take them all with you. Leave me. Get somewhere safe. Stick to the plan.”

  Sara shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere without you.”

  He chuckled. “Well, you’re not coming with me where I’m headed. So, you may as well get g
oing. No need to stick around and watch me wither away.”

  “Stop, Dad. You’re going to be fine. We’ll get help. Maybe the hospitals have gotten more medicine.”

  “I see you’re still as stubborn as the rest of them,” her father said. “Tell me who the man is. He looks like he’s one second away from passing out from exhaustion.”

  Sara turned to find Dane standing a few feet behind her. She’d forgotten about him as soon as she’d laid eyes on her family. Guilt washed over her for how fast he’d fallen from her mind. She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him to her side.

  “This is Dane. We met right after the virus hit, and we’ve been together ever since.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, sir.” Dane shook her father’s weak hand.

  “You too, son. I hope you’ve been taking good care of my girl.”

  Dane glanced to Sara, and she smiled encouragingly. Despite their fight, Sara hoped he’d say yes, because it was true. “I’ve been doing the best I can. But you’ve raised a strong-willed daughter, and she doesn’t always want to take my advice.”

  “That’s my girl,” her father said, chuckling then coughing. When the bout subsided, he’d fallen asleep.

  “We should leave him to rest, and we should get some sleep ourselves,” Dane said, his hand on Sara’s shoulder.

  She shook her head. “I can’t leave him.”

  Dane nodded and sat beside her on the floor. “Then I’m staying, too.”

  ***

  Dane rubbed the ache in his neck and tried not to shift around. Sara slept against his chest, her hand still holding her father’s. Soft sounds of breathing filled the tiny space around the pew, where they kept a vigil. Josh and Sue had moved two pews over and were sleeping. Sara’s mother refused to lie down and had fallen asleep sitting with her head on her folded arms near her husband’s head.

  He yawned and rolled his neck. Sleeping sitting up would never be possible in a normal situation, but nothing about the last month had been normal. With his exhaustion level, he could sleep anywhere at this point, anytime it was safe to do so.

  “Burning the midnight oil?” The man’s scratchy voice caught Dane off guard, and it took him a minute to get his bearings.

  “Just can’t sleep anymore, is all. How are you feeling?” Dane asked.

  “Like I’m about to die, which, given the circumstances, isn’t far off.”

  Dane’s chest burned at the notion of having to go through another death. It wasn’t his father this time, but it might as well be for all the emotion and pain stirring up inside him. He’d always thought he’d dealt with his family’s deaths well enough, but faced with Sara having to go through it, he felt as if his wounds had been cut wide open.

  “You don’t know that for sure, sir. If you’re anything like Sara, which I’m sure you are, you’re strong enough to fight this and win.”

  A small smile came to his lips. “You like my daughter a lot, don’t you?”

  Dane nodded. He hadn’t had to express his feelings for Sara to anyone the whole time they’d been together. It felt strange and wonderful to share them with her family. “I love her.”

  “I can tell. Who else but the man who loved her would stay by her side in a place where you could get sick?”

  “I’m not worried about getting sick. And even if I were, I still wouldn’t leave Sara to deal with everything on her own. She’s a strong woman, but she still needs someone to lean on.” He tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I’d like to ask you something, if I may.” He met the older man’s gaze. “It’s not the best time, and in another world, I would have waited longer.”

  “Get on with it, son.”

  “I’d like to marry your daughter one day, when all of this is behind us and the world is normal again. And I’d like to know I have your blessing. I know you’ve only known me for a few hours, which is why I said if things were different I would have waited.”

  “Promise me no matter what, you’ll keep her safe.”

  Dane fought to keep his tears at bay. He didn’t want to show weakness in front of Sara’s father. He thought about all the times he’d failed at keeping Sara safe. All the mistakes he’d made which had almost gotten her hurt...or worse. He looked down at her sleeping form, cuddled against him, her hand resting on his stomach. He would do anything for her. Anything. To the best of his abilities, he’d keep her safe from this point on.

  “I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. You have my word.”

  “Then you have my blessing.”

  They fell into a mutual silence, and Dane thought her father had fallen asleep again. Then he spoke so softly Dane almost didn’t hear him. “One last thing.”

  “Anything.” Dane tilted his head to hear better.

  “Take her away from here after I’m gone. Find somewhere better to go. Somewhere you two can have a life together. Don’t let her stay here because this is where my body will lie.”

  “I will,” Dane said, choking on his words, wishing with his entire being it would never come to that.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Sara wiped her nose on her sleeve since finding a tissue wouldn’t happen. Her father’s labored breathing encompassed the sole focus of her world at the moment. They’d all woken a couple of hours earlier to the sounds of a terrible coughing fit, and since then, his chest had been making a funny noise with each inhalation.

  Not a good development.

  He’d spoken a couple of times, saying he loved them all before falling asleep again. Whether or not he’d been conscious enough to hear their replies, she didn’t know. She had to hope he had been. At the very least, she’d had the opportunity to say it, to let the words out so she didn’t have to keep them trapped inside.

  Another coughing fit started, his chest caving in on itself with the force of each one. She’d never known a person could cough with such ferocity. His face turned red as he struggled to bring air into his lungs. His breaths were shallower than before, little gasps as the color of his skin faded from red to something less than pale.

  “Go gently. I’ll see you on the other side,” her mother whispered, kissing his hand.

  Tears burned Sara eyes, blurring her final vision of her father alive.

  His chest stopped rising, and her world stopped revolving.

  She wanted to cry out. To tell him to “stay, don’t leave me,” but her voice disappeared, wracked by sobs too powerful to allow her to form words. None of this was fair. She’d just found her family, and now she’d lost her dad again, but this time she’d never get him back. As if this new world wasn’t awful enough on its own, she also had to brave it without her father in it, making it a better place.

  Arms enfolded her, pulling her to Dane’s strong chest. She buried her head against him, clinging to his strength, hoping some of it would carry her through this awful moment. As always, he was her rock, keeping her grounded when the moment tried to pull her away into the mist of despair.

  “I’m here. I love you,” he whispered, over and over again as he led her out of the church and into the crisp morning air. He took her to the side of the church where a bench rested under a tree near what used to be some kind of garden. He rocked her in his arms while she cried, letting out everything she’d kept inside.

  Sara didn’t know how long they sat there, but at some point, her tears had dried up and her breathing had returned to normal. She lay on the bench with her head in Dane’s lap, staring out at the wilderness in front of them, out at a vast emptiness of possibility.

  Josh walked in front of her, blocking her view, looking as puffy-eyed and tired as she felt. He carried a shovel in each hand. Without a word, Dane stood and took one. Together, they wandered into the old graveyard behind the church. Sara forced herself to her feet and inside to where her sister and mother were.

  Hours later, they held hands around a mound of fresh earth and said their goodbyes.

  ***

  The next morni
ng, Sara and Dane sat on the front steps of the church, leaning on each other. They’d spent the night inside, reminiscing about childhood, family, and telling stories about her father. They’d shared a meal of crackers, jerky, and freeze-dried fruit, which Sara didn’t even taste. Then they’d all laid in silence through the night, pretending to sleep, but the irregular sounds of their breathing giving them each away.

  “I know it’s hard, but we have to go.” Dane stroked Sara’s hand.

  “I can’t leave him,” she whispered.

  “He’s already gone. But I’m still here. I’ll always be here.”

  Sara sniffled. Fresh tears filled her eyes even when she thought she didn’t have any more left to cry. “I guess I never knew how it felt for you to go through life and all of this crap without your family around you to support you. I thought I knew because I didn’t have my family, but I always believed in my heart they were still alive somewhere. But I realize how different my situation is compared to yours. I’m sorry I didn’t understand or, at least, try to understand more.”

  “You couldn’t know. It’s not possible unless you go through it, like I couldn’t understand why you put so much importance on finding your family, because I couldn’t do the same.” Dane sighed.

  They’d both learned more about themselves and each other on this journey. She knew the most secret places within himself he tried to keep hidden. And no matter how much she wanted to hide parts of herself, she couldn’t. He’d seen her at her worse and yet he stayed by her side, still wanting her.

  “I know you don’t want to go, but we have to,” Dane said. “We have to get somewhere safe. We have to get your mom somewhere she can take the time she needs to grieve. You all need to grieve. We have to get to the bunker.”

  “We might go there, but there’s no way you’re coming with us.” Josh joined them. “Sara might have been willing to share with you, but I’m not so nice.”

  “You know, I’ve been in the bunker before. I could find it with my eyes closed and probably quicker than you could at this point, since it was my home for two weeks.”