Expressly Yours, Samantha (Cotillion Ball Saga Book 7)

by Becky Lower

  “I’ll be fine, Ginger. Please let me do this my own way.”

  “My mother has been hinting broadly about coming to St. Louis at Thanksgiving or Christmas. After all, Mother has only seen Elizabeth once, when she was a baby, and the other children haven’t seen their grandmother much. So, my parents are due a visit. I’d love for you to meet them, since you’re having Mother’s next grandchild.”

  Samantha could feel her stomach beginning to clench. “I told you, though, Ginger, I don’t want to involve Valerian in my life. It’s not safe for any of you, but especially not for him.”

  Mary Tall Feather glanced her way, and Samantha’s stomach clenched tighter. Mary raised a hand and motioned to Samantha’s ever-increasing waistline. “You have already involved Valerian in your life. Now he must do his duty and protect what is his.”

  Samantha shifted in her seat. She didn’t want to offend the people who had taken her under their wings, but she also didn’t ever want Valerian to face Uncle Jack again. Once was enough. Her blood ran cold as her mind relived the afternoon Uncle Jack had snuck up on her at the homestead.

  “I’ll protect what’s his all by myself. It’s all I have left of him,” she whispered to the gathering and turned her head.

  “I think we need to find another topic of conversation,” Ginger said lightly as she turned to Joseph. “Tell me, when are you taking your next shipment of horses to St. Joe?”

  “It will be next week. We just got a request from the Pony Express for twenty more of our good mustangs. We will take the railcar as we did before, and should be there for a few days before we head back.”

  Samantha caught the silent glance between Ginger and Joseph, and she feared her request to not involve Valerian in her life would not be honored. Joseph could easily get a message to him from St. Joe, and he could be here, beside her, in time for the birth of their baby.

  As much as the thought comforted her, the idea of Jack harming or killing her loved ones because they stood between him and Samantha chilled her more than the cold winter air.

  “Joseph, please promise me that if you do see Valerian, you won’t tell him where I am or what my condition is. I beg of you, don’t let him know.”

  Joseph stared at her for a long minute. So long, Samantha feared he would not honor her request. Finally, he said, “You will deny your destiny, then?”

  Samantha struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat. “I’ll do whatever I must to keep Valerian safe from Uncle Jack.”

  “And what of your child? How will you keep the baby safe from your uncle if you are all alone?”

  Samantha’s eyes began to fill with tears. She blinked rapidly before she replied, “I’ll figure something out. I always have. But I can’t put Valerian in danger again. Please, Joseph.”

  “Then I shall not reveal your whereabouts to him.”

  “Thank you.” Samantha caught the quick glance between Ginger and Joseph, but was fairly certain he would abide by her decision. Or possibly not. A shudder went through her body.

  • • •

  Samantha worked in the barn, cleaning out each stall and putting new hay down. Normally, the work calmed her, and the scent of hay and horse soothed her nerves. Not today, though. Joseph and his brothers had taken twenty horses into St. Louis yesterday. She’d followed their movements all day as they led the horses down the dirt lane in front of the roadhouse and into a corral in town. And today they were loading them onto the train headed toward St. Joseph.

  Toward Valerian. Even though she’d extracted the promise from Joseph not to tell Valerian where she was, she had caught the silent communication between him and Ginger. What if Ginger had managed to change his mind? The love radiating between the couple was palpable, and Samantha’s desire to have her whereabouts kept secret would come second if Ginger disagreed. What should she do?

  “What do you think, Savior? Shall we mount up and head out again before Joseph returns?” She buried her head in the horse’s neck, her tears falling onto his coat. To leave this little slice of comfort and stability was not something she wanted to do. Especially not with a baby coming in a few short months. But she remembered her fear for Valerian when he faced off against Jack. She would not be able to live with herself if any harm came to Valerian from her uncle. And she now had a reason to live. Her baby. Their baby. She had to be strong for her child’s sake, since she’d be the only parent the baby ever would know.

  Leaving the relative safety she had here with Letty, Horace, and Ginger’s family would be foolish, at least until after the baby arrived. In two months and nineteen days, she would be eighteen. And she’d be about seven months pregnant, too. How could she provide food and lodging for herself and a newborn if she ran off? No one would hire her, knowing she would need time off to give birth. And there was no more hiding the fact she was in a family way. Her little bump had grown in the past month, and there was no hiding the obvious.

  What to do?

  Joseph would be gone the better part of a week, since the horses had to be delivered to the relay stations as they were last time, when she helped them. And possibly, he’d miss seeing Valerian and would only be able to leave word for him. She had a few days before she had to make a decision on where to go next, but she should start making plans now. Perhaps she could follow the route of the slaves escaping from the south, and head to Canada. If Uncle Jack found her, he would attempt to enslave her, so her line of reasoning wasn’t so far off the mark. But going north in the height of winter didn’t excite her much.

  She cast her glance around the warm, fragrant barn. Could it be possible for her to make a life here? Would Uncle Jack be willing to face off against not only Valerian, but also Joseph, Etienne, and Gaston? And Horace? The image of the five men providing a line of protection between her and Uncle Jack made her smile. But only for a moment, since she next pictured Uncle Jack pulling out the gun he was so proud of and taking aim at one of them. Their deaths would be on her hands, even if she didn’t pull the trigger. She couldn’t let that happen.

  She had only a few days to figure out what to do. Her thoughts were interrupted by sound of the barn door opening up. Ginger stood in the doorway, alone. Her presence here made Samantha nervous, even though she was beginning to love Ginger as if she were an older sister. She decided on a casual approach.

  “Oh, hello, Ginger. Are you headed into town to see Joseph and his brothers off on the train?”

  “No, Joseph can take care of himself. I came here to see you.”

  Samantha’s stomach clenched. Ginger had the appearance of an avenging angel. No good would come from this conversation.

  “We just spent time together a few days ago. What could possibly be so important that it would require a special trip?”

  “Because our last conversation gave me a bad feeling about you and your plans. Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened the last time you and Valerian were together?”

  “There really isn’t much sense in rehashing everything, Ginger. My mind is made up. I won’t do anything to put Valerian in harm’s way.”

  “Indulge me, Samantha.” Ginger sat on a bale of hay and stared at her in the dim light. “What happened the day you left Val?”

  Samantha sighed, and sat beside Ginger. She shared every minute detail of what had happened the fateful day Uncle Jack had found her, the way Valerian had snuck up on him, and the outcome.

  Ginger put her arm around Samantha’s back and hugged her tightly. Then she leaned in and kissed Samantha on the temple. “It seems to me you’re giving your uncle way too much credit and giving none to Valerian. The way you describe events, Val was never in any real danger. He had Jack under his control from the minute the man walked into the clearing. And your ‘clever’ uncle never suspected a thing.”

  Samantha thought about Ginger’s interpretation of the events of that day. She’d been so frightened for Valerian, she had only thought about what could have happened. Not what actually had happened. Could Ging
er be right? Was she not giving Valerian the credit he deserved?

  “But it could so easily have gone another way, Ginger. And I would have had to bury Valerian alongside Momma and Daddy.”

  “But it didn’t. Val was able to take care of himself, and you. My little brother is all grown up and protecting the woman he loves. And now, there’s a new life about to happen. If you want to turn your back on Val in order to keep him safe, think of this little one.” Ginger placed her hand on Samantha’s growing belly.

  “If Uncle Jack is so clever and so evil as you make him out to be, he’ll not have any qualms about going after your baby. He’ll know you’d lay down your life for your child. And he’ll use it against you unless you are fortified by your family. You need us, Samantha. And we need you.”

  Samantha placed her head on Ginger’s shoulder and let her tears fall. She was right. Uncle Jack would use her child to get what he wanted, family or no. The only solution was to go somewhere so far away he’d never find her. There was no way out except to run again.

  • • •

  Valerian made the trek from Seneca to St. Joseph a few days after obtaining Jack’s gun from Fred. He usually didn’t carry a weapon when he rode the ponies, but his weapon today was indeed every bit as precious as the mail sacks he was delivering. He would ride into town, head to the Patee House, to the Pony Express headquarters, and would tell William Russell his days as a Pony Express rider were at an end. He had a much more serious business matter to attend to.

  After eight hours in the saddle, he pulled into town, rode his tired horse to the barn where the Express horses were stabled, and carried the mochila to the hotel.

  “Here’s my final pouch, Mr. Russell.” Valerian decided to get right to the point.

  “You quitting on me, boy?”

  “Yep, I am. Not because of anything the company has done. It’s a personal matter.”

  “It wouldn’t have anything to do with a girl who was running from her uncle, would it? Sam? Samantha, as it turns out? You two were awfully chummy.”

  Valerian grinned. “Never could put anything by you, could we? How long have you known?”

  “It was easy to piece together once she hightailed it. Those Pinkertons and her uncle made my own life hell, accusing me of hiding her. I was, but I didn’t know it. Not until she ran off. But I expect you figured it out long before. Didn’t you take care of her after she was hit by gunshot?”

  “Yep, but up till then, I had no clue she was a girl. It was hard to cover something like that up, though, when I had to strip her down to get the bullet out.”

  “Was Gus in on it, too?”

  “Naw, I hid her true identity from him and everyone else. So I guess I violated the oath as much as Samantha did. But you met her uncle, so you can see why she ran.”

  “She seems damn good at running, doesn’t she? First from the uncle, then from the Pony Express. What a gal.”

  “Well, she has run off, and I don’t know in which direction she ran. I need to find her. I’ve got some news for her.”

  “Well, as I said, she’s awfully good at running. You may search the rest of your life and never find her if she doesn’t want to be found.”

  “I know, but I have to try.”

  Mr. Russell didn’t need to know any more. The fact Valerian’s heart ran off with her was something Valerian could keep to himself.

  “What kind of news do you have for her?”

  “I prefer to tell her in person.”

  “It must be important if you’re going to give up your job for it.”

  “Yep, it is. I’ll come by tomorrow for the last of my pay and be on my way.”

  “We’re expecting your brother-in-law tomorrow. He’s bringing a load of horses over from St. Louis for us. Maybe you could help him deliver the horses to the relay stations before you leave us entirely.”

  Valerian’s heartbeat kicked up a notch. Joseph was a great tracker. He had found Ginger in the forest when no one else could, and saved her from dying. Maybe he could help Valerian track Samantha. He could take Joseph to where the trail began, and let him work from there. For the first time since Samantha disappeared, he had hope.

  Even if she decided she didn’t want to continue their relationship, she deserved to know Jack was dead. Then she could live out her days in peace, without the constant need to be glancing over her shoulder. He’d give her the gun, tell her the story of Jack’s demise, and then either she’d welcome him into her life or not. Maybe she asked him to stay away because she thought he was too young, still too wild to be taken seriously as a suitor. But his mind went back to their idyllic afternoon at the lake and how she had responded to his touch. He had hoped their afternoon was the start of many such afternoons to come, but so far, it was not to be. Her letter to him had been taken out and read so many times, it had become fragile. She said she loved him. For now, that would have to do.

  Chapter 27

  Valerian shuffled from one foot to the other as he waited on the railroad station platform for the train from St. Louis to arrive. He’d spent a restless night in the Patee House, hoping Joseph would be able to take time away from his ranch to help him track Samantha. It wasn’t his last hope, since he’d track her on his own, if need be, until his dying day. But Joseph’s ability would make things so much easier. The train pulled into the station belching smoke into the air before it ground to a halt with a loud screech.

  Before the smoke cleared, Valerian climbed aboard and raced to the livestock railcar. Joseph and his brothers were in the car, preparing the horses to disembark. Valerian moved forward to wrap his arms around Joseph, but was stopped by his stare. He settled for a handshake instead.

  “Hello, Joseph. It’s great to see you and your brothers.” Valerian tried for casual conversation instead.

  “Are you here to help us deliver these horses?”

  Valerian shrugged. “I guess I could help you. Do you a favor.”

  “Are you still with the Pony Express?”

  “Just quit. I have some more important business to take care of. But I don’t mind helping you out before I get to it.”

  Joseph’s stare could have bored holes through him. Valerian wondered what he could possibly have done to make Joseph behave in such a manner. Being on the wrong side of the man he idolized hadn’t happened since he’d first arrived in St. Louis as a greenhorn and let a wild horse get away from the barn. It had torn down the lane toward town and been nearly there, where it would have run wildly through the crowded streets of St. Louis, possibly causing bodily harm if Joseph hadn’t been able to corral him in time. Valerian had been extra careful with the horses ever since. The fact Joseph suggested he help deliver these ponies made Valerian realize his ability with horses was no longer an issue. Valerian got a niggling feeling in his chest as he stared back at Joseph and waited for him to speak.

  “We will talk after we get these horses into the barn.”

  Without another word, Joseph, his brothers, and Valerian unloaded the horses. Riding one horse bareback with another in tow, they made short work of clearing out the railcar and getting the horses into the large barn a few blocks from the Patee House without incident. Joseph then walked into the Pony Express headquarters to tell Mr. Russell they had arrived, and to find out which relay stations were in need of fresh horses.

  It wasn’t until dinner that they finally sat down together. Valerian tried to concentrate on the fragrant beef stew and flaky cornbread, but Joseph kept eyeing Valerian, making him extremely uncomfortable. Valerian finally broke the silence.

  “Have I done something to upset you, Joseph?”

  “It depends on your answers. What happened to Sam Hughes?”

  “How do you know anything happened to Sam?” Valerian’s voice held a bit of a squeak.

  “I told you when you met, the two of you were inendaagozi. Not something to be taken lightly. You were meant to take care of each other. And I know you have failed.”

  “Did yo
u have a vision about it or something?” Valerian bristled under Joseph’s stare. Then his body wilted. “I don’t know how you could have figured it out, but you’re right. I was hoping to enlist your aid, Joseph. I need you to help me track Sam down.”

  “Tell me what happened and how you two parted company.”

  “Would it surprise you at all for me to say Sam is really Samantha?”

  The corners of Joseph’s mouth curved upward slightly before he resumed his stoic expression. “Not at all surprising. But tell me what happened.”

  Valerian filled Joseph in on the fateful day when Samantha and Jack came face to face, and how Samantha had to run, yet again, for her life.

  “I had to pretend to be asleep when she left on Jack’s horse, in order to be truthful to Gus when I told him I had no idea where she had run off to. But I ended up falling asleep for real, and she left without a word. I expected her to leave me a note about where she was headed. Instead, her letter told me not to try to find her, since Jack was her problem and she didn’t want him to harm me. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry about her ever since.”

  “Do you have any idea in which direction she would have gone?”

  Valerian shifted in his seat and spread his hands. “She wouldn’t have gone west, since she was aware of the Indian unrest. She wouldn’t have headed back here to St. Joseph, since it’d be too easy for Jack to find her. So she’s either gone south or north, into Canada.”

  “That narrows things down. Tell me, did you two ever talk about your life before the Pony Express?”

  “I did have several conversations with her about growing up in New York City and how I sent Mother a letter telling her about Samantha posing as a boy. I thought she might run there, but I haven’t gotten any letters from home saying she showed up on Mother’s doorstep. I don’t think I ever talked about St. Louis except in vague terms. But she was aware the horses came on a railcar from your ranch, so maybe she could have put it together.”

  “Or maybe it is inendaagozi.”

  Valerian’s heart galloped at the same speed his Pony Express horses had done. “Have you seen her, then? Oh, thank God.” He rubbed his hands over his eyes.