Dangerous Kiss (Dangerous Noise Book 1)

by Crystal Kaswell

  He presses his palm against my shoulder. "I have another few hours." His lips hover over my ear. "I can go if you want to be alone."

  I play with the threads of the towel. I don't want to be alone. Not now, not later, not when I get back to New York.

  But I only get Ethan now. I can't get ideas about later.

  Later isn't happening.

  I need to move this back to sex and fun or my ideas about later are going to build to engagement rings, ivory dresses, and frolicking on the beach in Hawaii.

  "No, stay." I peel my towel off and toss it aside. "I want you here." I take his hand and place it on my stomach.

  A soft groan escapes his lips. He pulls me closer. He shifts his hips to press his crotch against my ass.

  I grind against him until I feel him hardening.

  He's hesitant. Hard to blame him. This really isn't the time. He should be holding me, stroking my hair, and whispering that it's going to be okay.

  My eyelids press together. I want Ethan holding me, stroking my hair, and whispering that it's going to be okay. I want him whispering I love you, Violet. I want him making plans with me. I want us making plans together. I want us to be a team again.

  I can't have that.

  But I can have this.

  He slides his arms around my shoulders to turn me around. He stares into my eyes, picking apart my intentions. Is it obvious that I'm running from my feelings again?

  It must be.

  He runs his fingers over my cheek and jaw. "Vi…" He presses his forehead against mine.

  "Please." I run my fingers through his hair. "I need you."

  His stare is a challenge. Do you need me or do you need me to fuck you?

  I wish I only needed sex. I wish I only wanted his body.

  I'd never lie to Ethan. Never. Every word of this is the truth. "I need you, Ethan. I need you like I need oxygen."

  "Vi…" He plants a soft, sweet kiss on my lips.

  Damn, he tastes good. He's mercilessly slow about sliding his tongue into my mouth. He's still hesitant.

  I do need him like I need oxygen.

  All of him.

  Dammit, this whole have sex with Ethan in the hopes of forgetting I'm falling in love with Ethan thing isn't working. It's a stupid plan, now that I think about it. It sounded better in my head.

  It's still sounding really fucking appealing.

  His hand goes to my leg and hooks it around his. Thoughts of a plan slip away. All my intentions of pulling back to protect my heart fall away.

  When our kiss breaks, I press my forehead to his. I mean to say something dirty and demanding. Make me come on your face, baby. But those words won't get anywhere near my lips.

  My gaze meets Ethan's. "You make me feel alive. Not just my body. Every part of me feels alive around you. Like it's okay to feel good." So I'm terrible at dirty talk. I'll work on it. From the softness in his eyes and the hardness between his legs, I think it's working. "Make me feel good."

  "Vi…"

  "Don't make me beg."

  The look in his eyes screams I want you to beg.

  God, when he looks at me like that, I want to beg.

  We're both naked. There isn't much I can do in terms of stripping seductively.

  I hold Ethan's gaze as I slide my hand down his torso. My fingers brush that soft tuft of pubic hair. Then they're on his cock.

  His eyelids press together as he groans.

  "Fuck me, Ethan. Please. I want you inside me." I stroke him. "I want to come on your cock."

  He groans. When his eyes open, they connect with mine. Something in his expression shifts. He's still concerned about me, but he's also ravenous with desire.

  He needs this too.

  I press my lips to his. He kisses back hard and deep. His hands go to my hips and hold my body in place against his.

  His cock strains against me. I pull back as I wince. Ethan is huge and I'm not warmed up yet.

  He pushes himself to his forearms. His eyes lock with mine. "Look me in the eyes, Vi."

  I do.

  "Tell me you want to feel pleasure."

  "I do."

  "That you deserve every fucking ounce of pleasure in the world."

  That's harder. I take a deep breath to fight the anxiety spreading to my limbs. "I… I don't know."

  "You do." He drags his lips over my neck. "You don't believe it yet. But you will." His tongue flicks against my nipple. "This is for me." He teases me again and again. "Because I want to watch you writhe under me. Because I want to hear you scream my name. Because I want you more than I've ever wanted anything."

  "Ethan, please."

  "Beg me."

  "Please fuck me. Please make me feel good."

  His voice is heavy, breathy. "Fuck, Vi." He looks up at me, his eyes filled with all the desire in the world, then his lips are on my chest. He plays with one nipple. Then the other.

  His tongue is hot and wet and it feels so fucking good. Every flick of his tongue sends pleasure racing to my core. I do need him. All of him.

  I only get his body, but right now that doesn't matter. Right now, I want to give all of myself to him. Right now, I really do believe I deserve all the pleasure he wants to give me.

  His hands go to my hips and pin me to the bed. He takes his time dragging his lips down my torso. He plants a kiss just below my belly button. Then lower. Lower.

  His tongue slides over my clit. My body screams with pleasure. That voice in my head, the one that believes I deserve only pain after the way I failed Asher, nags at me.

  I try to shake it off, but that doesn't work. My hands go to Ethan's hair. "Bite me, Ethan." I press my thigh against his cheek.

  He drags his mouth to my thigh. His teeth scrape against my skin. It's light. Barely hurts. He bites harder. Harder. Hard enough it stings.

  "Fuck." I tug at his hair. "Don't stop."

  He bites me again. Again. It hurts but in a way that feels fucking good. There's something soothing about the pain. It opens me up. It makes me believe I've earned the pleasure he's going to give me.

  He drags his lips back to me. His mouth consumes me.

  My eyelids flutter closed. I cup the back of his head, arching my hips to match his movements. He's fucking good at this.

  Pleasure spreads through my pelvis. It pools between my legs. He licks me everywhere then he focuses right where I need him the most.

  My sex clenches with tension. Almost.

  Almost.

  With the next flick of his tongue, I go over the edge. Pleasure spreads through my torso as my sex pulses with an orgasm.

  I scream his name. It encourages him. It keeps his mouth on me.

  He licks me again, again, again. Within moments, that tension is building again. It's intense and hard. It aches in the best possible way.

  His grip tightens against my hips. His movements get harder, faster.

  "Fuck, Ethan." I dig into his hair. I shift my hips against him.

  Pleasure overtakes me. I lose my ability to form a conscious thought. My orgasm is heavy, intense, amazing. I scream his name again and again.

  He moves faster. His body plants on top of mine. His lips find mine. He kisses hard and deep. Then he's straining against me.

  Ethan's eyes meet mine.

  It's there in his eyes— he needs my heart and my mind as much as he needs my body.

  I spread my legs wider. I'm not sure what I'm offering him— my body, my heart, my mind, all of the above.

  At the moment, I don't care. I need him, whatever I can get.

  He holds my gaze as he enters me. I'm wet enough to take every inch of him.

  Damn, he feels good.

  Not like this is a fling.

  Like I'm finally whole.

  I wrap my legs around his hips. I wrap my arms around his shoulders. And I kiss him.

  I kiss him like his lips are the only thing I've ever wanted.

  He kisses back as he thrusts into me. My hips move with his. My lip
s move with his. My tongue dances with his.

  We stay locked together, hearts pounding together. I can feel the pleasure building in his body in the way his fingers dig into my skin, in the way he kisses harder and groans against my lips.

  He's almost there.

  He brings his hand to my clit and strokes me.

  Fuck, that feels good. My entire body is humming with pleasure. It's almost too much to take.

  Ethan pulls away to bring his lips to my ear. "Come with me, Vi." His teeth scrape against my neck.

  "Please," I breathe.

  He groans against my skin as he bites me. The hint of pain is what I need to push me over the edge. My sex pulses as I come. It pulls him closer, deeper.

  Then he's there too. He groans against my skin, rocking his hips harder and faster. His cock pulses as he fills me.

  Once he catches his breath, Ethan positions his body next to mine. He pulls me into a tight embrace. I can hear his breath. I can feel his heartbeat.

  God, the things I can feel.

  He looks down at me with all the affection in the world.

  I melt.

  Chapter 22

  Violet

  You'd think I'd be tired of watching Ethan perform by now, but I'm not. If anything, I enjoy watching his performance more every time.

  He really does command the stage. He really is in his element with his guitar strap around his shoulders, his eyes on the crowd, his lips curled into a cocky smile.

  This is where Ethan belongs.

  He doesn't belong with me.

  Don't get me wrong. I'm selfish enough I'd take him.

  But we both know he would never choose me over music.

  It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It only has to be a compromise. A little less of music for a little more of me. That was all I wanted. I wanted him to care about my dreams as much as I cared about his.

  But he didn't.

  He threw me away.

  I can't take him throwing me away again.

  I have to pull back.

  Only my feet won't move. My gaze refuses to budge. I hang out backstage, lost in the band's performance, until the lights go down.

  In the blink of an eye, Ethan is here. He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. His lips brush against my neck as they make their way to my ear.

  "We're leaving first thing tomorrow." He nips at my earlobe. "Means we have the whole night to ourselves."

  He pulls back enough to smile.

  It's that megawatt Ethan Strong smile, the one that melts glaciers.

  I should say no.

  I really should.

  But that damn smile is melting my reservations.

  I nod yes and let him lead me back to the hotel.

  I brush my teeth, change into a pair of his boxers and one of his t-shirts, and I fall asleep in his bed, in his arms.

  The chirp of the alarm is loud. The light of morning is streaming through the curtains.

  There's Ethan, lying next to me, his eyes still closed, his dark, wavy hair hanging over his face.

  I don't want to leave.

  I don't want to pull back.

  But I don't have a choice. If I stay, if I keep up this level of intimacy, I'm going to fall hard and fast and I'm going to break when he doesn't catch me.

  Ethan blinks his eyes open. His gaze goes to the alarm clock. He stares at it like it did him wrong then sighs with pleasure as his slap silences the alarm.

  He turns to me.

  A smile spreads over his lips as his eyes meet mine. The way he looks at me is the exact opposite of the way he looked at that alarm clock. It's like I've done him right, like he wants more of me for every second of every day forever.

  Damn, I'm already melting.

  "Come back to bed. We have another hour." His fingers brush my thigh, my arm, my hand. The touch is affectionate, like we're old lovers.

  I guess in a way we are.

  Sitting in his bed, watching the morning light illuminate his chiseled features, I might as well be his wife. He might as well be my husband. We might as well have promised each other happily ever after.

  But we haven't.

  We won't.

  I need to go before I get lost in this fantasy.

  I plant a kiss on his forehead. "I have to catch up on work. I'll meet you on the bus."

  He looks at me with all the affection in the world. He nods then his eyelids press together and he falls back onto the bed.

  It takes all the strength I have to leave.

  After a long run, a few sets of bodyweight exercises, and a shower, I pack and head to the tour bus.

  I get set up in the kitchenette with my headphones, my textbook, and my armada of gel roller pens. I should use pencils like most of my classmates. I should at least buy cheaper pens if I'm going to chew the cap off them. But I can’t. I love the smooth line these leave.

  It makes math feel as grand and important as it is.

  I'm so lost in work I barely notice Kit's arrival. He nods then plops on the couch with a video game.

  Two problems later, Mal steps onto the bus. He and Kit share a particularly strained look. It's strange. I'm pretty sure Mal spent the night with yet another fuck buddy. He should be rested and relaxed, but he looks frustrated and unhappy.

  I'm sure the man is frustrated often—it is hard being in charge—but he usually hides it well.

  He stops by my alcove to say hello. "Hey, Vi. Where's Ethan?" His eyes bore into mine. Abandoning him already? I thought we talked about this.

  I chew the cap off my pen. "He's catching up on sleep."

  "Hmmm."

  Okay. I'll set the record straight for everyone involved. "Our relationship is casual." Something I'm sure Mal understands. "I don't have him on a leash. As long as he's not screwing other women, he's free to do anything he wants."

  Mal opens his mouth to say something but he's interrupted by Joel stepping onto the bus. Joel has two modes in the morning—bursting with caffeinated energy and miserable with a hangover.

  He's in the former mode today.

  He takes a quick look around the bus. "Damn, Valentine, wasn't it bad enough you needed Ethan's hands during the sound check? Did you have to fuck him so hard he couldn't drag his ass to the bus?"

  "Of course I had to. Have you ever looked at Ethan?" I tease back. Joel is a bit of a handful, but he's fun.

  "More than I wanted to, yes. Thank you for orchestrating that, by the way." Joel shoots Kit an incredulous look, no doubt some reminder that Kit and Ethan had a threesome.

  Kit shrugs, unmoved.

  Honestly, I don't care what Ethan did or with whom. I believe that he was sleeping around to forget me. But that's confusing. If he wanted me he could have apologized. He could have called. He could have had me again.

  He could still have me.

  All he has to do is promise he won't let me leave again.

  Mal makes a pot of coffee and another of tea. Without a word, he places a cup of green tea on the table.

  I nod thank you.

  He nods back don't mention it.

  Joel and Kit take turns fixing coffee. Joel really doesn't need more caffeine, but I have enough tact to keep that to myself.

  I shift back into work mode. This time, I finish three problems before I’m interrupted. Ethan steps onto the bus. He's in tight jeans and a snug v-neck. His hoodie is hanging around his shoulders, unzipped.

  He looks sleepy. Even so, he doesn't stop for coffee. He goes straight to me.

  Ethan slides into the seat across from mine. "Hey."

  "Hey." I'm already melting from his smile. I force my gaze back to my textbook. Work will wash away all the confusing feelings stirring in my stomach. Somehow.

  "I'll let you study." He leans in to kiss me.

  I should pull back. I really should.

  But I don't. I lean in to kiss him back. His lips are soft and he tastes good, like mint toothpaste and like Ethan. His lips are expert.

 
He doesn't kiss other women.

  Only me.

  That must mean something, but I don't know what it is.

  I sigh as he releases the kiss.

  I don't know what to think. Hell, I don't know which way is up and which way is down.

  Joel interrupts my train of thought. "Damn, Strong, didn't you get enough of that shit last night? Or… don't tell me Valentine is selfish." Joel shoots me a faux accusatory look. "Think we all know Ethan spends a lot of time buried between your legs."

  "Jealous?" I ask.

  Joel shrugs. "You're not my type."

  "You have a type?" I ask.

  "News to me," Mal says.

  "Me too," Ethan says.

  "You want to chime in with your thoughts, Rhythmic One?" Joel shoots Kit a knowing look.

  Kit shakes his head. "Did you just ask Violet if she sucks Ethan off?"

  "Didn't use those words," Joel says.

  Again, Kit shakes his head.

  "What?" Joel shrugs. "What's the big deal?"

  Kit laughs.

  Then Mal.

  Fuck, even I laugh. Ethan's eyes catch mine. He raises his brows like we're sharing a secret. I'm not sure what the secret is, but I like sharing it with Ethan.

  He leans in to whisper. "You want to answer this one?"

  I shake my head. "Let him wonder." My cheeks are still at my ears. I have to admit, I love being part of the band family. They can be intense, moody, or bossy and annoying and insensitive a la Malcolm Strong, but they mean well, and they're fun.

  "Shit, this must be juicy with the way they're whispering," Joel says.

  Mal shoots Joel a cut it out look. "You're on your own if Ethan hits you."

  "He's the guitarist," Joel says.

  "Got two days till our next show," Mal says. "And Drew owes him one. Bet he'd fill in for Ethan, especially if Ethan punched you for pissing off his girl. Drew understands that kind of thing."

  Joel folds his arms. "She's not his girl. They're having fun. They practically wrote it on their foreheads."

  "What do you say?" Ethan takes my hand and rubs the space between my thumb and my forefinger. "Want me to kick Joel's ass?"

  "Maybe later." I take a long sip of my tea. The beverage is hot, but that's not why I feel warm all over. I want Ethan protecting me. I want Ethan defending my honor, even playfully. That's no good. Need to focus again. I look back to my textbook. "I appreciate the concern about whether or not I'm getting enough cock in my mouth, but I have to work. It's something people who aren't rock stars have to do. I… Well, I don't want to ruin the surprise."