Dangerous Kiss (Dangerous Noise Book 1)

by Crystal Kaswell

  "It's not official yet."

  "How old are you again?"

  "You the expert on relationships now?" I ask.

  "Would you really want to know if I was?"

  No, I wouldn't.

  "I've dated."

  I clear my throat.

  She rolls her eyes. "You're worse than Mal."

  "No, I'm more obvious about it than Mal."

  She shakes her head no fucking way, picks up her phone, and replies to a text.

  "Someone you'd rather talk to?"

  "Violet." She laughs. "She getting up anytime soon?"

  "Not sure, we got in late."

  Piper polishes off her coffee and gets up to pour another cup. "You want to go to breakfast or should I make oatmeal?"

  "Make the oatmeal."

  She nods and gets to fixing her beloved hot cereal. I don't know how she eats the stuff. It tastes like paste.

  Piper's phone buzzes with another text. Then another. I try to keep my attention on my coffee—really, I do want to respect my sister's privacy—but her phone keeps buzzing.

  The screen lights up.

  That looks like it says Kit. But there's no fucking way she's stupid enough to just put his number in her phone like that.

  She'd hide it, wouldn't she?

  I try to play cool as she reaches for the phone. Her cheeks flush pink. She smiles as she taps a reply and sets her phone back on the counter.

  Seconds later, it buzzes again. This time, I look closely enough I'm sure.

  Kit: Sorry I missed that.

  No.

  He is not sorry he missed shit with Piper.

  No fucking way.

  Piper's hand comes down hard on the counter. She grabs her phone and slides it into her pajama pants pocket—her Hello Kitty pajama pants pocket.

  She's a kid.

  He's twenty-six.

  She stares at me with accusation.

  I stare back with the same accusation.

  Neither one of us blinks until the microwave beeps. Piper turns back to her breakfast.

  "Don't fucking tell me that's Kit Lockhart," I say.

  "I'm not planning on telling you anything." Piper taps cinnamon into her oatmeal with a serene fuck you smile.

  "He's twenty-six."

  "I'm aware."

  "You're nineteen."

  "I'm aware of that as well."

  "You have any idea how many women he's slept with?"

  Piper rolls her eyes. "Less than you."

  That's debatable.

  Kit's fucked and thrown away enough women for me to be sure he's no good for Piper.

  Kit is not getting within thirty feet of my little sister. Not unless me or Mal is around to keep them apart.

  "You know, a lot of the women you slept with had older brothers."

  My eyes narrow. "You're not dating Kit."

  She shrugs, playing cool. "Who said anything about dating? Maybe it's just a hookup. Maybe it's just one night of crazy sex."

  I fold my arms. "That's not funny."

  "Your eyes are about to bug out of your head."

  "No fucking way, Piper."

  She glares at me. "I'm an adult, and I'll do whatever I want." Piper presses her lips together. Frustration flares in her blue eyes. "But you're right. Kit and I are just friends. Every time I see him, he mentions how I'm like a sister to him. I get that he'll never see me that way."

  I'm not sure about that, but it's best if Piper believes it. It's best if she gets over this crush right away so she can move on to a guy who won't break her heart.

  If Kit does break her heart, I'll have to kill him, and that will be a fucking mess for all of us.

  There's noise upstairs then the water is running.

  Violet is up.

  I try to change the subject to Piper's classes, but every time her phone buzzes, I have to fight my desire to threaten to smash the thing then to smash Kit's face.

  Not letting him break her heart.

  No fucking way.

  Piper lights up as Violet walks down the stairs. "You want me to make some tea?"

  "I can do it." Violet hugs Piper hello then she turns to me. "Why the tension?"

  "Ethan's an idiot." Piper smiles at me. "But I know he means well, so I won't make his life miserable."

  "That sums it up." Violet pulls me into a tight embrace.

  Piper swoons. She mouths don't fuck it up to me.

  "You sleep okay?" I ask.

  "Perfect," she says. "I think I'm actually ready to do this today."

  "You know we have to talk to your parents first?"

  "Yeah, I know." She runs her fingers through my hair. "I'm hoping they're on board, because I have no idea how to convince them if they're not."

  "What are you guys doing?" Piper asks.

  "We're going to scatter my brother's ashes off the pier," Violet says. "It was Ethan's idea."

  Piper swoons. Out of view of Violet, she shoots me a thumbs up. "That's the first smart thing he's done since he lost you."

  Violet smiles. "He has his moments."

  Violet presses her palm into mine as she knocks and unlocks the door to her parents' house. Her hand is clammy and she's trembling. I can't remember the last time I saw her this nervous.

  I squeeze her hand. It calms her enough she stops shaking, but her expression stays fraught.

  She squeezes back as she steps inside the door. "Hey, it's me."

  I follow her into the living room and shut the door behind me. Her parents are sitting at the dining table with a pot of tea between them and tablets in hand.

  Both of them look at Violet with confusion. Her mom, Mary, gives me the same concerned once over she always does. I'm not sure if it's the tattoos or the whole musician thing, but Mary has never been my biggest fan.

  Violet's dad, Dan, gives me a friendly nod. "Is that you, Ethan?"

  "Yeah, nice to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Valentine." I shoot Mary my sweetest smile. "Your hair looks great."

  She smiles as she smooths her auburn hair. "Violet, sweetie, what are you doing here? And why is your ex… uh, what's Ethan doing here?"

  Violet chews on her lower lip. "I've been with Ethan the last few days. Not just Ethan. I’ve been with Mal too. He's Ethan's older brother. Do you remembers him?" After her parents nod, Violet continues. "Well, he offered me the job I was talking about. I may have exaggerated a few things, but he's paying really well."

  "Is he?" I ask.

  She nods. "Yeah. It's very generous. A few months' rent at least." She shifts her weight between her legs. "Um, Ethan and I, we uh… well it was his idea, and I think it's a good one. You know how Asher was always a little morbid, especially after he'd watch those violent war movies about men dying for just causes. Once he said that if he died, he'd want his ashes scattered in the Pacific Ocean, so I was thinking it's about time to do that. You know, off the pier maybe. I think he'd like that."

  I squeeze Violet's hand.

  Her nails dig into the back of my hand as she squeezes back. "But only if it's okay with you."

  Mary looks us over slowly. "How about some tea first?"

  "That sounds great, thank you." I pull a seat out for Violet.

  "Thank you." She sits then crosses and uncrosses her legs a dozen times.

  Mary goes into the kitchen to make another pot of tea. Dan asks Violet about the job Mal offered her. She's careful to stick to the facts, just the facts.

  When Mary returns with the tea, Violet nearly jumps to get it. She buries her face behind her mug.

  "You could have done this earlier, sweetie," Mary says. "If you'd wanted."

  "Yeah. Uh, I just, I wasn't thinking about it." Violet chews on her lower lip. "Does that mean you're okay with it?"

  Mary and Dan exchange the kind of look that only couples who have been married for thirty years can exchange. The two of them communicate everything with their eyes and no one else is privy to it.

  Mary looks back to us. "Yes, Violet, I think it'
s a nice idea. We have our stones."

  Huh?

  "They had stones made from the ashes," Violet says. "It's a thing."

  Mary places her hand over the small gem pendant hanging around her neck. "It wasn't cheap, but it… it's nice to know I always have him close." She turns to me. "You know, Asher told me that he wanted to play keyboard in a band. At first, I discouraged him. He was already stressed all the time from his piano performances but that was a mistake. It would have been good for him. I thought I was helping but… thank you for giving him that chance."

  I shove my hand in my pocket. "He was great. Didn't fit our sound but it would have been fun."

  She smiles. "Yes, but if he wanted to do it, he wouldn't have listened to me."

  That is true. Asher wasn't as strong as Violet was and he certainly didn't have her propensity for telling people to fuck off, but he was just as stubborn as she was.

  Mary nods to Violet. "Let me help you with the urn, sweetie." Her expression screams and we'll also talk about your deception.

  Violet swallows hard. "Okay. Did you, um, did you want to come? Because that would be fine. No, it would be great. But we can also do it alone."

  "No, I don't think I have the stomach for that." She leads Violet into the kitchen.

  Then it's just me and Dan.

  He looks at me the way Mal looks at everybody. I get it—he wants to protect his daughter.

  I'd look at me the same way if I were him.

  "We haven't had many chances to talk," he says.

  I nod. Violet fights with her parents—who doesn't?—but she cares about them and she respects their feelings.

  She doesn't always take their advice, but she does listen to it.

  "Violet never talked about what happened between the two of you," he says. "I know Mary used to give you a hard time. It wasn't personal, son. She was worried about how much time Violet spent with you and your band. Violet had always kept to work and books until she met you. She dated other guys—she thought she kept that a secret but kids are never as good at keeping secrets as they think they are."

  "She was a supportive girlfriend." I run my hand through my hair. "I care about her a lot. I want the best for her." Not that I can defend myself with my past actions. I forced her to choose between me and school. I was hurt, yeah, but that doesn't make it right.

  I was an asshole.

  I deserved her leaving.

  Not going to make that mistake again.

  Dan continues. "I know. I can tell she means a lot to you. And I can tell you're a good man, even with the tattoos."

  I have to laugh.

  "But I've known a lot of men your age with ambition and they don't always realize what they're asking of the people they love. We both know Violet won't listen to my feelings about your relationship with her. But I want you to promise me you'll take care of her."

  "I will."

  Violet and Mary are back before we have time to discuss matters further. Violet is holding a blue Trader Joe's tote bag. She still looks like she's about to faint.

  She nods goodbye to her parents and whispers in my ear, "I think I'm finally ready to do this."

  Violet's free hand stays glued to mine. She's wearing her nervous expression all over her face, but she still manages to walk with a steady gait.

  We stop at Pacific Coast Highway to wait for the light. Violet squeezes my hand. She looks out at the horizon then her eyes meet mine.

  The light changes. I lead the way across the still empty highway, over the concrete, onto the pier. It gets windier and colder the closer we get towards the edge. For once, Violet has her coat. She breaks free of my hand to pull it tighter.

  I slide my hand around her waist and pull her closer. She's still shaking. She's still walking with a steady, strong gait.

  Her footsteps slow as we pass the chain diner at the end of the pier. There are two fishermen on the left, so I lead us to the right. We're fighting the wind, but we'll make it work.

  She kneels to set the tote bag on the deck. Her eyes meet mine. "Do you want to say a few words?"

  "You should."

  "I will. But maybe you should go first. If you have anything to say."

  Asher was my friend too. It hurt me too. Not the way it hurt her, not even close, but it did sting.

  "Okay." I take the urn from the tote bag and hold it to my chest. It feels like the right thing to do here. "Asher, I'll never forget the first time I saw you on the keys in our practice room. You fucking killed it. And I'll never forget the look of horror on your face when I asked if Violet was single." I take a deep breath. "I don't blame you for thinking I was no good for your sister. Even though you two had your issues, I know you always wanted to protect her. I feel the same way."

  Waves lap against the pier. The tide is steady. The ocean seems to go forever.

  This is where Asher would want to be.

  I squeeze Violet's hand then I press on. "Wherever you are, I hope you have some way to look after Vi. But if you don't, then I hope to pick up the mantle. You were an amazing pianist, but that's not what I'll remember about you. It's the dry sense of humor, the stubborn unwillingness to give up or back down, the way you challenged me to a fight when you found out I slept with Violet, then the way we laughed over how we'd be willing to risk breaking our hands over her honor. I wish I could have helped you, so you'd still be here."

  A weight lifts off my shoulders as I hand the urn to Violet. I can't imagine how heavy it feels for her.

  Her lashes are heavy with tears. Happy or sad, I'm not sure. She's smiling but she's choking back a sob too.

  I wipe her tears with my thumbs.

  "Thank you." She holds the urn to her chest. Her eyes find mine. "That was beautiful. Did he really try to fight you?"

  I nod.

  "What did you do?"

  "Asher was scrappy but he was tiny. I could have broken him in half. Told him I wasn't willing to risk being put out of commission."

  "Were you?"

  "For you, yeah."

  She smiles. Her gaze goes to the ocean. She takes a deep breath. Another. Another dozen.

  Her expression softens as she speaks. "You know, Mom and Dad didn't want me speaking at the funeral. They said I was so distraught I shouldn't have to worry about it. At the time, I thought they were worried I'd burst out the fucks, but now I realize they were right. I would have lost it." She takes a slow, steady breath. "But I'm still going to let the fucks fly."

  I can't help but laugh.

  "I've never been good with words. Or music. Or anything but numbers. I always admired your talent, Asher. I have to admit I was jealous. But it wasn't just your talent."

  She looks to me with unsteady eyes.

  I run my fingers through her hair. "More fucks might help."

  She laughs. "Yeah they might." Her gaze goes back to the ocean. "I was so fucking jealous of you, Asher. I was jealous of your perfect French accent. I was jealous that you had such strong convictions about movies and books. I gave you a lot of shit about being pretentious or boring or only liking stuff for old white guys, but I really admired that you stuck to your guns about Moby-Dick. I admired that you dressed up as gunshot Abraham Lincoln for Halloween that one year, and I was really, really jealous when you got sent home with a suspension."

  "Did he really?" I ask.

  She nods. "Yeah, it was gruesome and disgusting. Mom and Dad were horrified but they just smiled and went oh honey, you're so creative. Our poor parents were stuck with two weird kids, but they always treated us like we were normal and they always loved each other like Morticia and Gomez Addams. I think The Addams Family was the only TV show both of us liked." She looks down at the urn. "Though I know you liked My Chemical Romance, even though you wouldn't admit it."

  I laugh. "Yeah?"

  "And Evanescence." She laughs. "You know, I never told anyone that until now. So I guess I owe you one for spilling your secret." Violet hugs the urn to her chest. She takes a deep breath and exh
ales slowly. "I wish I had been less jealous of you, Asher. I wish we had been closer. Looking back, I can see the cost of it all. You killed yourself trying to keep Mom and Dad happy. You killed yourself trying to be the best pianist in California. And then you killed yourself because you couldn't keep it up anymore. You were a great pianist but you were more than that. You were funny, and smart, and a little pretentious, and sometimes an asshole. And you were a supportive brother. I know you would have done anything for me. And I do wish you'd have told me you were hurting, because I would have done anything for you too."

  Violet lifts the lid off the urn and places it on the pier. She looks at me as if to say you ready?

  I nod.

  Her fingers dig into the slick silver surface. "For a while, I hated you for leaving me with the aftermath of this, but I know you did it because you didn't see another way to stop hurting. Wherever you are, I hope you've found that peace. I hope you don't hurt anymore." She tilts the urn and watches as the wind blows the ashes into the ocean. "I love you. I always will."

  Violet stares out at the deep blue ocean for a long, long time. Slowly, her eyes go to the horizon, then to the sand, and then she turns and they're on me.

  She leans in to whisper. "Thank you for being here. For thinking of this. For everything."

  I want to thank her for a million things—for letting me in, for caring about where I hurt, for looking at me like a guy and not an idea, for being the person who turns the universe into a place that isn't ugly.

  But my lips don't want to talk. My lips want on her lips.

  I kiss her until I'm out of breath.

  Chapter 30

  Violet

  We walk the three blocks to Ethan's place hand in hand. The sounds of the surf get quieter with each of our footsteps, but the silence is comfortable.

  Ethan's company is all I need.

  He smiles as he leads me inside. "Piper's car isn't in the driveway."

  "Oh." I squeal as he scoops me into his arms and spins me. "Ethan!"

  "I still owe you one." He carries me up the stairs and into his room—he has to kick the door open. "When you were here two years ago, I should have said fuck, Violet, that's amazing. And I should have thrown you on the bed and made you come until you passed out."