Dangerous Kiss (Dangerous Noise Book 1)

by Crystal Kaswell

  Athena returns with a vodka soda for me and a whiskey sour for her. "Ethan said Thanks. If you're wondering about his texts. To be more exact he said: Thanks, I'm going to do my best to win over the audience."

  "He doesn't need any help with that."

  "I suggested he strip if he has trouble."

  I glare at her. "You did not."

  "All the way to buck naked." She smiles. "He seemed on board."

  "Athena, you did not!"

  She laughs. "I did not."

  There's something about the look on her face. She's got something up her sleeve. I'm not sure what it is. I trust her, but I don't like surprises.

  I take a long sip of my vodka soda. It's the top shelf stuff, clean and crisp. With my next two sips, I finish the drink.

  "You want another?" she asks. "Drinks are on me today."

  "No. This is enough. If I get drunk, I'll start crying and I'll call him and God knows what I'll say."

  "I won't let you have your phone back."

  "I'll find a way." I push myself up and nod to the ladies' room. "You're a good friend. I know I never say that stuff, but you are."

  "Thanks, Violet." She smiles, but she's got all this excitement in her eyes.

  Strange.

  Very strange.

  My bladder won't allow me to contemplate the matter any further. I make my way through the room—has the light been this purple the whole time?—and find the bathroom, which is also quite purple.

  What a weird dive bar in a weird location.

  I wash my hands five more times than is necessary. I smooth every stray strand of hair. I touch up my makeup. I only mean to add a little lipstick, but once I get my hands in my mini makeup bag, I can't help myself.

  This is a day that requires quite a shield.

  But I think I'm tired of screaming fuck off to the world. I'm tired of pushing people away. Yeah, Ethan broke my heart again, but he opened me up to joy too. He helped ease my pain too.

  All this agony fucking sucks, but missing out on all the pleasure he brought me would be worse.

  I apply extra eyeshadow anyway.

  The lights are off in the main room.

  All the lights. It's dark.

  This really is a weird little dive bar.

  Guitar notes fill the air. They're live and they're coming from the stage. They're familiar too.

  It's Stupid Girl by Garbage. And it's not just a guitar. There's the bass, the drums, the vocals-

  No.

  That sounds like Ethan. And it sounds like he's singing a gender swapped version of the song about a stupid boy who doesn't believe in anything, who lied to himself and wasted everything he had.

  That must be a coincidence or a loneliness-inspired delusion. Ethan's show is in Baltimore in three hours. That means he's in Baltimore now.

  He's not here.

  It's just some guy who sounds like Ethan.

  Then he's singing the next song, I Think I'm Paranoid, and I'm even more certain that it's Ethan singing. I've heard his voice a million times, a million different ways.

  That must be him.

  How could it be anyone but him?

  The lights are still off. Nobody seems to mind but then I guess there are only a dozen people in this bar.

  I know the next song the moment I hear the first note—lord knows I played that note enough times. It's I'm Only Happy When It Rains.

  The spotlight turns on.

  And there's Ethan, on the stage, in a Garbage t-shirt and jeans, singing his heart out.

  I blink a few times.

  It's still Ethan.

  But… what… how?

  The spotlight spreads until it's illuminating the entire stage. That's not just Ethan. That's all of Dangerous Noise. What the hell are they doing here?

  From the mild reactions of the people here, it's safe to say no one recognizes them.

  Ethan smiles as he finishes the song. He looks out at the dark room. "Thank you, I'm Ethan Strong. And we are Dangerous Garbage, the best Garbage cover band in all of Orange County. Orange County, California. I know you have one here too."

  "And in Jersey," someone calls out.

  "Could never forget about Jersey," Ethan says. "Let's hear it for the singer of the real Garbage, Shirley Manson, huh?"

  No one applauds.

  Fuck it, Shirley Manson deserves better than that. I applaud.

  Then the spotlight is on me.

  Joel jumps up from his drum kit to nod hello. Mal and Kit shoot me the same hellos but they stay in their places.

  Ethan's eyes light up as they meet mine. "Maybe it's just me. I do have a thing for redheads who don't take shit from anyone."

  Kit steps up to Ethan's mic. "Or maybe just one redhead in particular." He nods to me. "He's miserable without you."

  "It's true," Ethan says. "I am miserable without you."

  "Seriously, he's intolerable," Joel adds. "But I won't blame you if you want to get rid of his intolerable ass."

  "You're supposed to be helping," Kit says.

  "Who says I'm helping Ethan?" Joel winks at me. "I like Valentine better. Any chance you can play guitar, Valentine?"

  I shake my head.

  "I can teach you," Ethan says.

  Athena screams.

  God, this is mortifying. My cheeks are burning.

  It's sweet too… but mostly mortifying.

  "There's a special birthday here today. One Ms. Violet Valentine. Now, I know she hates attention, but it's her birthday. We have to embarrass her. It's tradition." He smiles. "Want to help get her up here, Athena?"

  I glare at my clearly traitorous roommate.

  She mouths sorry, I had to.

  Ethan moves closer to the edge of the stage. His cheeks flush. He's sweating too.

  He's nervous.

  More nervous than before he filled in for Drew in front of four thousand people.

  "Fuck, Violet, you coming up here? I don't mind going down." He stays confident despite the blush. "Joel's gonna ask if you used the sex toys he bought you soon."

  Now I'm blushing. I shake my head. "Not yet."

  "You've got ten seconds till I come down there," he says.

  I stay put. "Aren't you playing in Baltimore tonight?"

  "Dangerous Noise is, yeah. These guys have to leave in about twenty minutes, but I'll be here playing Garbage songs until I get kicked off the stage."

  "You know enough?"

  "I know enough to play all night."

  "You're skipping the show?"

  Ethan nods. "Turns out there's some place I'd rather be."

  My heart melts. He's skipping the show for me. I want to jump into his arms. I want to jump into his arms hard enough to knock him on stage then I want to order him to go down until I am coming up there.

  But it's just one show. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

  He plants his Converse-clad foot on the edge of the stage. "The New York City bug bit me. I've got a hotel around the corner."

  Athena screams, "Yeah, baby."

  Ethan laughs.

  My cheeks burn.

  He motions come here. Even though I stay put, he continues. "I'm staying a week and a half. We have three shows across the eastern seabord. I'm gonna be at all three of them, but I'm only leaving for the day. Got a car hired to take me there and bring me back."

  My breath catches in my throat. "You're going to be here for a week and a half?"

  "This is where I want to be." He jumps off the stage and takes a few steps towards me. "I want to be where you are, Violet. The other day, I wanted to stay. I wanted to choose you over an opportunity. I wanted to choose you over music, and that fucking terrified me. Ever since I got my shit back together, I've put music first. I thought I was giving up some part of myself if I let it fall to second." He moves closer. "But when I walked out of your apartment, I left a part of myself there. And I fucking need that part back, Violet. I want to meet you halfway. I want to be in your life, where you need me, whe
n you need me, how you need me."

  I run my fingers over the back of his hand. This is really Ethan. He's really saying this. He's really staring at me with all that affection in his deep blue eyes.

  "I know you don't think I'm a fuck-up, and I'm starting to come around to believing that. But I did fuck this up. I fucked us up. And I can't live with that, not without trying as hard as I can to fix it." He takes my hand. "I love you, Violet. I'd rather lose my left hand than lose you again."

  "Really?"

  He nods.

  "You can't." I lean in to whisper. "I need it."

  Ethan laughs. He presses his cheek against mine as he pulls me into a tight embrace. "If you ask me to get lost, I will. Otherwise, I'm going to be around until you're ready to invite me back into your life."

  "I…" I dig my fingertips into his back, over his t-shirt. His body is warm and hard. His strong arms make me feel safe. There's no doubt, I want to be here. When I pull back and stare into his eyes, there's no doubt that I want him here too. "Okay."

  His smile spreads to his ears. "Yeah?"

  "Yeah."

  "Remember that question girls ask me about my tattoo?"

  I tug his t-shirt down his chest and trace the heart's ornate lock. "Baby, do I have the key to your heart?"

  He nods as he pulls his shirt lower. "Yeah, you do." He points to a fresh piece of ink just below the winged heart.

  It's a skeleton key with Violet written on the shaft.

  I trace the design with my fingers. It's a real tattoo. It's really there, on his skin, forever.

  "Ethan." I look up into his blue eyes. "You're that sure this is forever?"

  "More."

  My last bit of resistance melts. My entire heart melts. I slide my hand around his neck and press my body against his. "Say it again."

  "Which part?"

  "Give me a highlight reel."

  He smiles. "I've been selfish. I've brought you into my life but it's been what works for me. I like you in my life, Vi, but I want to be in your life too. I want to do what works for you."

  "I want that too."

  "I love you." He presses his forehead against mine. "I love you more than I love my Les Paul."

  "Is that even possible?"

  "Yeah, it is."

  "I love you too."

  Then I kiss him like his lips are everything I want. Because, really, they are.

  Epilogue

  Ethan

  It's a rainy, cold day, but you wouldn't know that from the warm yellow lights and the body heat in this amphitheater. I've played a lot of packed rooms in my life, but I've never been this excited.

  Been in the crowd at a lot of shows, but this is my favorite by a landslide.

  There's a long line of students in purple robes and caps, but it's still easy to pick out Violet. Her short strawberry blond hair catches all the light in the room. Her heeled boots peek out from under her robe.

  She's getting her master's degree.

  Then she's done with school.

  It was hell touring without her by my side, wanting my arms around her, wanting her in my bunk every night. I missed her like I miss my guitar when it's getting restrung.

  But it was heaven too, knowing I'd call her before my head hit the pillow. Most nights we were so tired we only managed to say good night, I love you, but that's more than enough.

  I've been in New York since the tour ended. We've packed all of Violet's things and shipped most of them home.

  She's back in southern California indefinitely.

  She doesn't start her job until July.

  That leaves us a month and a half together, to do whatever the fuck we want, wherever the fuck we want.

  Have a lot of ideas about where and how I want to fuck Vi.

  At the moment, I can't consider them in detail. Her parents are next to me and, somehow, they're even prouder of her than I am.

  The dean calls her name. "Violet Valentine, Master’s in Mathematics."

  Even from all the way up here, I can tell nerves are taking hold of her body. She moves across the stage slowly. Then she's shaking the dean's hand, taking her diploma, smiling as wide as she's ever smiled before.

  We went through a hell of a lot of pain to get to this moment. We made a lot of mistakes, me especially.

  Right now, none of that matters.

  The only thing that matters is the joy in her expression.

  Vi has what she wants.

  And I have her.

  And that matters more than the band, more than music, more than anything.

  After dinner, we walk Violet's parents back to their hotel. They give her a thousand hugs before they finally drag themselves to the elevator.

  I don't blame them for lingering in their goodbyes.

  But that doesn't change that Violet is mine for the rest of the night.

  We walk outside hand in hand. It's not raining anymore but the air is still damp. The sky is a deep royal blue, brightened by all the lights of the city.

  New York really is a hell of a city. I've been here a dozen times, but I've never appreciated it the way I do when I'm with Violet.

  I don't appreciate anything the way I do when I'm with Violet.

  I slide my arms around her waist and pull her body into mine. "You did it."

  "I did."

  "Violet Valentine, Master of Mathematics."

  "Master of smoky eye." She points to her cocoa eye makeup. "I think Mom was happy I toned it down."

  "Your mom is happy you got your master's degree."

  She smiles. "Yeah?"

  "You really doubt that?"

  She shakes her head. "No, I know she is. It's overwhelming how supportive they are." She looks up at me. "And you being here… Thank you, Ethan. I… God, we really fucked this up last time I was graduating."

  "Yeah, we did. Me especially."

  "But me too. Both of us. I'm glad we got past it. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."

  "I love you too."

  I press my lips to hers. I mean it to be a sweet kiss, but my body has other ideas.

  I dig my fingers into her hips and hold her body against mine. She's soft and pliable, and her kiss is hungry.

  She needs this as much as I do.

  More even.

  Her mouth parts for my tongue. Her hands dig into my hair.

  She wants to give herself to me.

  Fuck, how I want to take her.

  Need to move this somewhere private or I'm going to take her right here, against the hotel's marble wall.

  Violet pulls back with a sigh. "It's a million miles back to the apartment."

  "Ever come in a taxicab?"

  She blushes.

  "A limo?"

  She shakes her head.

  "Good thing we have a room." I point to the hotel next door.

  Her eyes light up. She drags her hand to my palm and squeezes tight. "Okay, I'm not smooth. Hurry up. I need to fuck you." With her free hand, she tugs at my tie. "It's wrong how hot you look in your suit."

  "Is it?"

  She nods. "You look like the kind of guy I'd bring home to meet my parents."

  "We just had dinner with your parents."

  "And you were perfect, and sweet, and you didn't even blink at Mom dropping all those hints about how it would be okay if I moved out." Her brow furrows the way it does when she's making a decision. Then she shakes her head. "Less talk, more sex."

  I'm not arguing with that.

  I pull our room key from the pocket of my slacks, slide my arm around her waist, and lead her through the lobby. It's a nice hotel, but I can't say I notice anything about the decor.

  The only thing I see is Violet—

  The need in her green eyes.

  The flush spreading over her cheeks and chest.

  The way her tight purple dress— the exact shade of her graduation robe—hugs her curves.

  The elevator doors open.

  I whisk her inside and pin her to
the wall. I don't even check to make sure we're alone.

  My tongue claims her mouth. My hand slides under her skirt and over the curve of her ass.

  Violet groans, shifting her hips against mine.

  Nobody is coughing or telling us to get the fuck off each other. We must be alone.

  Either way—

  I pull her closer as she grinds against me. Fuck, the friction is divine. My cock is screaming to be inside her.

  Not yet.

  Not until she's begging me for it.

  The elevator dings and she pulls back.

  We are alone in here.

  Violet lets out a needy sigh. "Ethan…" Her expression is a plea.

  She is begging.

  But I have to get to the fucking hotel room before I give her what we both want.

  It's hard to walk with the way my cock is turning my slacks into a tent. I manage to do it long enough to whisk Violet inside our room.

  Again, I pin her to the wall. I don't even look at the room. I've already got my eyes closed and my lips glued to hers.

  Violet's moans vibrate against my cheeks and chest. She spreads her legs then hooks one around my hips. Her back arches. Her lips part.

  I lost her once.

  Almost did it a second time.

  Right now, there isn't a doubt in my mind. Violet is mine.

  Fuck, I'm the luckiest guy in the universe.

  Violet tugs at the knot of my tie. She pulls back with a heavy sigh. "How the fuck does this work?"

  "Your dad tied this for me."

  "He did not."

  I nod. "I haven't worn a suit since Piper's graduation."

  "Before that?"

  "Not sure I ever wore a suit before that."

  She runs her fingers over my suit jacket. Her eyes meet mine. "You bought this for me?"

  I nod.

  "Really?"

  "I'd do a lot more than that for you, Vi." I undo the knot of my tie—I do know that much—and pull it off. Then I lose the jacket.

  Violet's eyes light up. She undoes my belt and pushes my slacks off my hips.

  I take my time with my shirt. Her eyes go wider with every button I undo. Fuck. I'll never get tired of the way she looks at me like she wants me more than she's ever wanted anything.

  There. I kick off my shoes and socks and step out of my slacks.

  I'm in only my boxers and Violet's still dressed.