Raven's Peak: Cold Hard Bitch

by Cole Savage

  “T.D, we need to go.”

  “Hold on, Housse. I think this shit-stain should apologize for all the racist things he said.”

  “T.D, this one here dun pissed his pants… Did you piss your pants?” said Cameron. The Hun that Kyle brought down was leaning against the railing, looking down, covering the dark spot on the front of his trousers.

  “I think this Duchy can go home and change his shorts,” Kyle said to Cameron coldly, with elevated amusement.

  “You can go, Fritz.” The man stood and headed for the door with Simian agility.

  “T.D, we gotta go… Now. Sheriff Glad gave me five minutes to clean this mess up.” Cameron said with lines of anxiety on his forehead.

  “Give me a minute, Cam.” Kyle crouched in front of Rollins with his elbows on his thighs, Rollins laying on his side, wiping blood from his forehead with his hands. A man whose face and soulless eyes told the story, with a look of woeful disdain and humiliation.

  “You like Neoclassicist like Jefferson, so I assume you’ve heard the age old tautology of exceptionalism: I do what I do, because I am who I am…The way I see it Rollins, you Aryans ought to get out of the business of bullying and learn how to fight before you start throwing words around you aren’t prepared to back.” Rollins rubbed the corner of his lips with his thumbs and said, “We’ll be seeing you again, Mr. Tillman. If I were you, I’d be very careful when you open doors, and I would keep my head on a swivel.” Then, he spat blood under the pool table.

  “You know what I don’t understand, Hans?” Rollins turned his head and spat blood on the floor again. “We punched you in the mouth in two separate wars, so let’s always keep today fresh in your memory.” Rollins looked at Kyle with contempt, he spat again and shifted his gaze from Kyle.

  “Look at me, Rollins.” Rollins caught Kyle’s gaze.

  “The way I see it.” Rollins closed his eyes.

  “Look at me, Hans.” Kyle slapped him on the cheeks, and Rollins opened his eyes. We have a term in American football. You ever heard it? It goes, SCOREBOARD BITCH… America, 3. Master race, 0.” Kyle slapped him lightly on the left side of his face two times and said, “Take up crochet or something. It’s not as painful. I don’t care what you do. Go to the Philippines to circumcise little boys, if not, I hear the Jews are looking for a few good men to shovel remnants of assholes too stupid to know who they’re fucking with. If I see you again I’m gonna light your head on fire and use you as a human torch.”

  “T.D, we gotta go” Cameron said, looking toward the front doors.

  “Anyway, Franz. Leave the fighting to those who can control their anal retention, because this place smells to high heaven.”

  “Let’s go, Hooch.” Kyle stood, and together they walked over to Skeeter. Hooch looked over to the pool table and said, “Give me a second, T.D.” Hooch walked over to Rollins, picked the bat up from the floor and swung it wildly at a beautiful stained-glass chandelier that was suspended over the pool table. The chandelier made a loud sound as it splintered into thousands of pieces that rained shards of glass all over the pool table. Hooch set the bat on the pool table, walked over to get Skeeter, picked up his limp body, and threw it over his shoulder. Kyle looked at him and said,

  “Nice touch, Hooch.”

  “Yeah, it was troubling me. It was the only thing in the bar that looked out of place.” Kyle gave him a fist bump and carried Skeeter’s limp body out into the late afternoon sun. Kyle stopped momentarily, turned in the doorway to face Rollins, ripped the racist sign from the door, then threw it on the floor looking at Rollins.

  “Hey, Adolf? I hope you learned a valuable lesson today. We bush crackers here in West Virginia. Well, boy, we ain’t too smart. We sound like hicks, talk in half words. But, shit, boy, we dun look after our own.”

  CHAPTER 34

  They carried Skeeter back to Cameron’s cruiser, and Cameron thanked Sherriff Glad for not interfering. Sheriff Glad had no love loss for Rollins, in fact, he’d been waiting a long time to punch Rollin’s ticket, and up until now, Rollins and his goons had been untouchable from the perspective of Law enforcement, so Sherriff Glad was happy to see a little payback for the members of the Black Knights. The Sheriff shook Cameron’s hand, said goodbye, and told him he hoped there’d be no blowback. Kyle followed Hooch out the door. “Hooch, you remember that episode of Jerry Springer when they tried to figure out which one of Tanya’s six redneck brothers impregnated her?”

  “I remember, T.D.”

  “Didn’t the inside of The Lion’s Den look like the set of a Jerry Springers Show after they found out it wasn’t one of the brothers.”

  “Yeah, yeah, T.D. That turned into a real shit-show when they found out it was the girl’s fathers kid.” T.D laughed, and they caught up with Cameron.

  “What are you two laughing at?”

  “Nothing important, Cam.”

  They threw Skeeter in the back seat and headed back to the hospital. They arrived at United Summit, and Skeeter was beginning to come around. Trooper Washington escorted Skeeter, able to walk now, and Kyle and Hooch up to Slack Jaw’s room, in the intensive care unit, hoping Skeeter wouldn’t need medical attention. Cooper, who Kyle hadn’t seen for three weeks, was standing next to Slack Jaw, and the four of them exchanged somber hugs and greetings. Tyler, Cole, and Nicki were happy to see them back, though they could see Kyle and Skeeter were banged up. Kyle had visible bruises on his face, and swollen hands crisscrossed with scratches, jeweled in blood. They laid Skeeter on the lounge chair that Nicki had been occupying earlier, and she ran to get ice for Skeeter’s forehead that was the size of a melon. Exhausted, Hooch sat on the floor. Kyle, Tyler, and Cole, sank on an upholstered bench by the window, facing the Tygart Valley River, and Officer Cameron stood next to Cooper, close to Slack Jaw’s head.

  “You okay, T.D?” asked Tyler with a look of concern. Kyle’s face was covered with dried blood, his plaid shirt blotched in dark, wet stains.

  “I’m good, boys. Most of this blood belongs to the other guys. It’s Skeeter we should mind to right now.”

  Skeeter was slumped in the chair, in a slumber from the swelling and pain throbbing in his forehead. Nicki walked in with a small pail of ice, wrapped a hospital towel around a mass of ice and placed the towel on Skeeter’s forehead. Slack Jaw still out, sleeping quietly.

  “You boys threw a hoedown and didn’t send me an invite?” said Cooper.

  “Sorry, Coop. I thought you’d be up at the mine,” said Kyle. Nicki sat on the arm of the lounge chair, holding the ice wrap on Skeeter’s forehead, giving Kyle a scornful look.

  “I see nothing’s changed since your high school days…Still playing king of the hill, Kyle? Do you still say to your friends every day is just a roll of the dice? Or do you have a new and original bullshit line to impress these dumb stump jumpers?”

  “It’s my mother’s fault, Nicki. I wasn’t like that until I was born.” He grinned at Cameron and winked. Nicki let Skeeter hold the icepack, and Nicki’s truculent speech brought Skeeter’s awareness to the forefront. She moved over next to Kyle, who was sitting in the sun filled window with the boys.

  “You boys think that’s the first time Kyle dropped that line on someone?” Cameron chuckled, trying not to offend Nicki. She looked at Skeeter with concern, wiping dried blood from his face and head, then shifted her gaze to Hooch.

  “You okay, Hooch?”

  ‘I’m finer than my momma’s linens, and I ain’t lyin when I tell you I’d rather be here with a broken back than back at Parsons sucking titty through some Betty’s sweater.” Silence ensued as an orderly walked in the door to check Slack Jaw’s vitals and I.V. Satisfied that Slack Jaw was okay, he retreated out the door.

  “That was one strange boy,” said Cameron.

  “That goocher looked crazier than a shit-house rat,” said Cooper looking at Kyle. The strangeness of the moment was broken by a question from Tyler.

  “Did you win the fight, T.D?”

&nbs
p; “I don’t know, boys,” Kyle said looking at Skeeter. “Skeeter did we win the fight?”

  “How would I know, T.D, I was kissin’ the floor with my eyes closed.” Hooch laughed.

  “What are you laughing at, whale bait?” said Skeeter. Kyle was laughing with a touch of hysteria, which got Hooch laughing louder, but wincing in between laughs from the pain in his knees. Looking at Skeeter, Kyle said, “Skeet, I’m okay that you got blown up and all. I mean you’re not the biggest guy around— but brother— you got smoked by a skank in high heels.” Standing by the bed, Cameron busted into a laughter that got Tyler and Cole Laughing. Hooch quit laughing for a moment and said, “Skeet, we gave you the smallest guy and you let that cock juggling thunder cat get the drop on you.”

  “Well, sorry to inform you, boys— I can’t remember any of it,” he said self-deprecating. With his hand on the holster, Cameron looked at Kyle and said, “Did anyone see what happened to Skeet?”

  “I saw it, Cam. Shit, boys, if that ain’t the funniest thing I ever seen. Skeet got rolled by a mudfish so ugly, you gotta tie a pork chop around her neck to get a dog to play with her. I mean this Heifer fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down,” said Kyle.

  “Hooch, you have to admit she looked pretty good from behind?”

  “T.D, I wouldn’t screw that swine with your dick.” Nicki, who had been standoffish about the incident, broke into a quiet laughter, hiding her mouth with her hand.

  “Cam, that man girl was all over Skeet like a rash on a fat ass,” laughed Hooch.

  “Hey, Skeet? How’d it feel when that stench trench straddled you with her Cleveland steamer?” Kyle barely finished the sentence and broke into a tittle. Tyler fell to the floor laughing and the room echoed with the drum of snickers, giggles, and convulsions of fractured laughs.

  “Hey, Hooch, you think Skeet should have turned it over on a fifty-yard cunt- punt and cried Uncle?” The crows of laughter finally woke Slack Jaw, so Nicki came over to comfort him, and Cameron said, “Hey, Slack— welcome back.”

  Then Hooch said, “I was scared when Skeeter hit the pole, but lookin’ back it was pretty damned funny.” Tyler laughed, and Cole pointed at Skeeter laughing. Kyle looked at Cooper. “That isn’t the funniest part, Coop…Hooch was it me— or was Rollins farting like a pack mule climbing Raven’s peak?” Drinking a glass of water, Skeeter, caught off guard by the statement, blew the swig of water out of his mouth, spraying Slack Jaw. Skeeter quickly stopped laughing and cringed, the pain on his forehead intensifying from his movements.

  “T.D, I thought that was you seein’ how you just ate at Bev’s and all. That place makes me squeeze the steamer,” said Hooch. Nicki laughed, pausing in between breaths, a laugh that sounded like a wheezing hyena. She covered her mouth instinctively to dampen the hideous laugh, and the boys keep the train running, ignoring Nicki’s gelastic laugh.

  “So, Cam, I chased one of the Negro lovers up the stairs, and I’m looking around. I can’t see where he’s gone, so I say to myself—huh? No way he’s standing behind the door because I saw him run in the room and I can’t find him… I close the door, and sure as Slack has one nut—there he is, a dark gravy stain on his meat garage. He had bat-eyes, and that Kraut was drooling, Brother, covering his cock pocket with both hands. He was so scared you couldn’t drive a wet watermelon seed up his ass with a sledgehammer.” The room turned into a cacophony of laughter as nurse Blacken Bergh came through the door, and no one made an attempt to silence the mob. Cole and Tyler were laughing so hard they were on the floor in the fetal position.

  The nurse gestured for silence, grabbing Cameron by the shoulder, telling him to maintain order. In his fit of laughter, his knees hit the vinyl tiles, and he doubled over laughing. Nurse Blacken Bergh left the room and came back two minutes later with a burly security guard carrying a nightstick on his belt, but by now, the laughing had turned to heavy breathing. Cameron got up and walked out of the room with his arm around the Hispanic looking guard. Smiling, Nicki tended to Slack Jaw. Cameron walked back in, without the rent a cop, still laughing.

  “It’s okay. Let’s keep it down a notch.” Cameron said and assumed his position by Slack Jaw who was mumbling something enigmatic. Cameron gave Slack Jaw a pat on the shoulder.

  “Gotta go, boys. I’ve been off the grid too long.” Cameron looked at Kyle. “T.D, I ain’t had this much fun since Skeet’s hog ate my brother.” Kyle walked over, gave Cameron a hug, three quick shoulder taps and said, “Been a hoot, brother— thanks for having our back.” Cooper exchanged hugs with everyone, apologized to Tyler and Cole, shook their hands and said, “Me, too, boys—gotta be at Kessler by eight.” He walked over to Slack Jaw, who was awake now, but not really there, and gave him a gentle rub on the head.

  “Take care, brother. You’re in good hands— somebody’s gotta pay the bills for this circus show.” He pointed his finger like a gun and said, “Don’t be throwing any more shindigs without your brother Coop.”

  By the door, Cooper looked at Nicki. “Nicki, I’m real sorry I didn’t tell you what Kyle was scheming when you came over to Ma’s house with Momma that day. T’D told me not to tell anybody, except you.”

  “Did he threaten to— I don’t know, throw you in a lake with concrete shoes, or some cataclysm like that if you did?”

  “Ain’t like that with T.D, Nicki. Me and T.D have an understandin’.”

  “Do you have it in writing, Coop?”

  “We’re brothers, Nicki, I don’t need no contract.”

  “So what’s your understanding, Coop?” Nicki said looking at Kyle, Kyle snickering.

  “Nicki, we live in West Virginia, and brothers in West Virginia are brothers for life. There ain’t no room here for double-crossing your brothers… Besides, if I cross T.D, he’s gonna use a blowtorch to turn me into a candle.”

  “And there it is, Coop”

  “There what is, Nicki?” Kyle tried to suppress his laughter, but Hooch and Skeeter didn’t need to.

  “Never mind, Coop. Have a great day…Oh, and Coop. I told Momma right after you told me, so sleep well tonight, you ass, for making me wait until ten to call me and tell that the boys were safe. You could have called me after I left.”

  “I left my phone at the Quick-mart, Nicki. I had to run to Harman just to call you.”

  Nicki gulped. “Well there, honey, don’t you just feel like a horses’ ass.”

  “Shut up, Kyle.”

  “See ya, boys,” said Cooper.

  Everyone gave Cooper a wave and he walked out the door. With Cameron and Cooper gone, Slack Jaw grunted. Nicki went to his side and rubbed his cheeks gently.

  “You okay, sweetheart?”

  “Nicki, can you tell the sausage queen I need Oxy or something? My head is killing me”

  “Nurse Blacken Bergh is on supper break, but I’ll tell the orderly.”

  “Shit, Nicki, don’t call that freaky deeky back in here,” laughed Hooch.

  “Stop it, Hooch. Quit judging people by the way they look— Slack needs medication.”

  “Nicki, honey— you know the old sayin’,” Kyle said looking at the boys, “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a fucking duck.” Everyone laughed but Nicki.

  “How old are you, Kyle?”

  “Old enough to know certifiably bonkers when I see it.” Holding Slack Jaws hand, she said, “You boys quit sweetening his grits. You sound like third graders laughing at dumb jokes.” The laughing turned to chuckles and attention shifted to Tyler.

  “T.D, how many guys did you fight?”

  “You know, you boys can call me dad or pop. But if T. D feels right— go right ahead.”

  “T.D, how many guys did you fight?” Tyler repeated, emphasizing T.D.

  “Well, Cole. I’m not real sure— probably around eight. There were more, but a couple of them stood on the sideline, and that’s if you’re counting the girls.”

  Skeeter managed a faint, “Fuck you, T.
D.”

  “Hooch said you took the biggest guy first.”

  “I didn’t want to. The man was the size of a planet, and I felt that Hooch matched up better.”

  “Why did you take him?”

  Hooch interrupted. “I beat T.D in paper, rock, scissors— Tyler.”

  “That’s how you decided, T.D?”

  “Yes, sir. And we took that grizzly first.”

  “We always take the big one first, Tyler,” said Kyle.

  “Why,” asked Cole. Kyle settled between Tyler and Cole on the window seat, and leaned in low so the wash of his voice would break over them.

  “Remember what I’m saying, boys.” Kyle looked over at Nicki. “You always take the big one first, because once their buddies see it you’ll have to fight fewer guys.

  “Why?”

  “Tyler. If you take out the biggest, meanest guy first, the other boys will lose the will to fight.”

  “That’s cool, T.D.”

  They talked a few more minutes, Kyle and Hooch decided to stay with Slack Jaw for the night, so Nicki took the boys home to take care of Karen.

  “I’ll be back in a little while, Kyle.” Nicki pointed her finger at him and Hooch.

  “You two behave yourselves. And leave that orderly alone.” Nicki walked out, Skeeter said goodbye and went home to mend his wounds.

  CHAPTER 35

  Kyle and Hooch talked, keeping a close eye on Slack Jaw, who was awake, but barely able to speak. It was early evening; they were speaking of the day’s events, when Nurse Blacken Bergh came into the room, surprisingly with a roll away bed and hospital gowns for both of them.

  “Seein’ as I can’t get rid of you two, I reckon you can keep an eye on Mr. Dalton for me, tonight.”

  “Why— that’s very kind of you, Mrs. Blacken Bergh,” said Hooch.