Must Remember: Dead or alive, they want her back. (Solum Series Book 1)

by Colleen S. Myers

  “Well, we would have to have a similar environment, the same basic structure of air and gravity for me to be able to live here. If that is similar, then the types of plants grown would be similar. The basics of life. We can understand each other, which amazes me. We are the same, you and I.” I motioned between myself and them.

  Finn smiled. “Physically?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  I rolled my eyes and ignored him. “My world is more advanced, though; we have music, medicines, cars, phones, TVs, so many things.” I glanced down. “Some of the things you attribute to the Imani, we had. But we also had ethics and politics and structures in place to prevent anything like what the Imani did, thus the world wars.” That similarity also helped me understand them. They knew about everything of which I spoke because the Imani had similar technology at one point. They just didn’t embrace it.

  “Tell me of these different cultures,” Ute asked, leaning his head on his hand. Finn just watched me and took a chug of his wine.

  “I’m no historian, not like you, Ute. I don’t know if I can do my world justice. I’m young.”

  “Young?” Finn asked.

  “How many years are you?” asked Ute at the same time.

  “Nineteen. I just started college. People on my world live to be in their eighties and nineties.”

  Ute spit out his wine. “Eighties? I am in my forties, and I am considered ancient.”

  Finn sniped. “You are old.”

  Ute glared at him and manfully ignored his sniggering.

  I asked a question that had been niggling at me.

  “Do you have any religion, belief systems?” To my eyes, there didn’t appear to be religion here on Solum. That surprised the hell out of me. Man crawled out of the womb wondering why he left that warm cozy place in the first place. Why was he here, where was he going, and what happened to him when he died? Thus was religion born; religion was one of the strongest forces in human history, intertwined with life, love, and politics. The Roman Catholic Church was a good example of this.

  “What you mean?” Ute queried, his words slurred.

  “Do you believe in God, or gods?” Their blank stares were answer enough. I tried a different tack. “What do you believe in?”

  “The land. Candrana,” Finn said. In essence, their connection to the land was their religion. The Imani believed in nothing but science. It was their god.

  Maybe I was thinking about it all wrong.

  Their fight could be seen as a religious war, couldn’t it? The Fost believed the land had life and power; the Imani were corrupting that. The Fost were the ones who had taken the first shots in the war. I’d originally thought, when Ute relayed their history, that the Imani came after them, but that wasn’t the case. The Imani kidnapped several prominent Fost, and the land was crying. They had no proof but they knew. The Fost invaded the Imani lands, en masse, to get their people back and stop the corruption. The Imani fought back and when they saw the gifts the lands gave the Fost to fight, well, then, it was game on.

  We talked long into the night, Ute and I, with occasional snark added by the peanut gallery, aka Finn. Ute faded first. Unable to talk any longer, he got up and lurched to his new quarters to rest.

  “Did you drink too much, old man?” Finn taunted.

  Ute didn’t deign to respond; he cut Finn to size with his eyes as he staggered out the door.

  I waved bye then stared into the fire. Finn watched me. He shifted his long legs; he didn’t look like he was going anywhere anytime soon. “Do you like it here?”

  I turned to him, surprised. “Why do you ask?”

  “Just wondering. If what you say is true, this must seem different.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “It’s true and yes, it’s different, but different is not bad. No one here seems bad; I just need to know what happened, how I got here.” I looked down at the wine in my hand, throat tight. I choked out my next thought. “The Imani had to have taken me and brought me here.”

  “That we already knew.”

  “I didn’t want to acknowledge it.”

  “Does not make it any less true,” Finn added.

  “I’m a coward,” I confessed. “I’m afraid of remembering.”

  “Knowing the Imani, you should be.”

  “You aren’t making me feel any better, Finn.”

  “Sorry. Just remember, the past is the past. The present is what is here and now. Nothing in the past can hurt you in the present.”

  “That’s better. Thank you.” I smiled.

  “You are welcome.” He grinned.

  “You’re so weird,” I grumbled.

  “You are weird.”

  “Finn,” I continued a second later.

  “That is my name.”

  “Be serious.”

  “I am serious that is my name.”

  I threw a book at him. There were so many around. He deflected it with ease.

  “You just proved to me that we may be different races, but smartass is universal.” I rolled my eyes when a cheesy grin spread across his face. “So tell me about your culture and customs. They seem different from mine.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You are all very alive, bold. More so than my people, I think.”

  His smile gleamed. “Bold.” He seemed pleased with my word usage. “How so?”

  “You’re touchy-feely.” I mimed holding hands and touching.

  He said, surprise shading his voice, “Your people do not touch?”

  “No, not that we don’t touch; we’re just more reserved.”

  He bobbed his head as he took a drink. “The Fost are not ‘reserved.’ We are quite free with our affections. We lost so many in the wars and to the environment. It used to be they encouraged finding a mate, a life-partner, but as our numbers declined, they encouraged sex. They encouraged pregnancy and life. People do not live as long out here, too many things wanting to eat them. We have to live life.”

  “So you don’t marry anymore?” I wondered if “marry” translated. Come to think of it, I wondered how everything I said translated to them. I probably sounded like a moron.

  “There are still some people who seek a mate and form the bond out there. Stein of Clan Halit mated his wife. Marin’s parents mated. Most do not. They leave their options open. Mating means monogamy, and that is not encouraged among the Fost.” Their mating must equal Earth’s marry.

  I frowned at that.

  He snorted at my expression. “So you believe in monogamy?”

  “Yes, I believe in monogamy. There is someone out there for everyone, someone who makes you better, faster, stronger. That’s when it’s right.” I took a drink. “Not that there is anything wrong with the other way. That is just how I like it.”

  “So no…?” He circled his thumb and index finger and slipped his other index finger in and out. That was something else that everyone understood.

  “We can have sex outside of mating. I just meant I believe in marriage and monogamy.” I grimaced and looked back at the flames, uncomfortable.

  “We are much more honest.”

  “What do you mean, honest?”

  He winked. “We all know where we stand. We have fun and with any luck, it results in a baby. How is that not honest?”

  “Because there is no heart involved. No intimacy, no caring.”

  “Of course we care. We just care a lot, for many people. And we love our children.”

  “I don’t mean you don’t care about your children, I mean about each other. Two parents who care for each other, even if they’re not together, and their child, would be preferable to two parents who care for their child who shuttles between them. Trust me, I know. That’s how it was for me and I hated it.” When my parents divorced, that was my life. Dad wanted more kids; I was such a disappointment. And when Mom couldn’t give them to him, that was that. He still did his duty, did dear old Zacharias Camden. He saw me every other weekend, until I put a stop to the sham. The memories w
eighed me down. I didn’t realize I’d drifted off in the middle of the conversation.

  Finn frowned at me.

  “Sorry, plus, it has to affect your relationships. If you don’t see a loving unit as you grow up, then I’d think it would be harder to form one yourself.”

  “The child picks which clan they want when they come of age. They are loved by both parents.”

  I shrugged again. “Ideally, they would be, but we all know that isn’t always the case. I think if the parents committed to each other before the child, then it leads to a healthier life for the couple, the child, and your people.”

  “I think you should not judge until you see how it works,” he said as he sucked down some more wine. He looked me over—slowly—from the top of my head to my toes.

  I squirmed a bit.

  “I can show you how it works,” he offered and winked. His fingers rubbed down his glass.

  “Oh, I know how it works. I’m young, but I’m not that young.” Billy Campbell down the road. One sweaty night. Not that much to remember.

  Finn flashed a grin. We slipped into companionable silence. I went back to watching the fire. The heat was quite hypnotizing. I felt the heart of the blaze calling to me. I had fire magic. I wondered, as I watched the flames dance, what that would mean, what I could do. Hmm. I reached out, fingertips heating.

  “Oh, I think someone has had too much to drink.” Finn laughed and prevented me from falling face first into the fire. He grabbed my hands and settled me on his lap. I elbowed him, but he didn’t let me go; he also didn’t try anything, just held me in his arms.

  I’ll move in a minute.

  With a sigh, I rested my head in the area between his neck and jaw and drifted off, waking only when Finn dropped me on the bed, bouncing me a bit. He laughed at my grumpy pout. I burrowed into the blanket.

  Finn remained, leaning over me, his gaze drifting downward. I knew what he was seeing, and it wasn’t really me. I held my breath and rolled over on the cot. His hand skimmed along my hair.

  He perched on the edge of my cot.

  I kept my eyes shut. His breath drifted across my face. A light caress trailed across my cheek; a hand tucked my hair behind my ear.

  “What am I going to do with you?” A whisper of a touch feathered along my lower lip. He laughed. “No one falls asleep that fast, woman.”

  I screwed my eyes shut and faked a snore. He snickered. The moment dragged on as I waited. My face tingled. I knew he hadn’t moved back yet. God, I wanted to look.

  His tongue licked along my lower lip. I gasped.

  His mouth covered mine, taking advantage of my gasp. He kissed me, his lips soft, urging me to respond. He tunneled his hands in my hair and turned my face to his.

  My eyes drifted open.

  His eyes were closed, lashes dark against his skin. His lips were soft at first, then firmed. My own lips trembled, then relaxed into the kiss. I opened my mouth and let him in. His taste flooded me: wild, rich, heady man. I pulled back after a quick sip, breath unsteady.

  His eyes opened. Those white eyes. I no longer saw the Imani in them, but still, the slit eyes threw me.

  We stared at each other.

  He rubbed his nose along mine then with a shaky laugh, he got up and left. His ass swayed, quite deliberately, I’m sure, when he walked out the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  After that kiss I tried to sleep, but every time I drifted off, I woke to the sound of empty laughter and an instinctual desire to run. It was a relentless itch underneath my skin. I sat straight up and looked around the room.

  Finn sat there at the table, watching me, holding some leather. I yanked the blanket up to my chin.

  White eyes stared at me through amber glass.

  A man stood on the other side, pale blond hair parted precisely down the middle, thin skin, sharp cheekbones, and white eyes with slit pupils. He had a look in his eyes, sly like a fox. I hated that look

  Finn’s eyes were similar, but not the same. There was never that look in his eyes. Not even when he wanted to kill me after we met. I was afraid, but on some level, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. But this man, the one I remembered. He’d hurt me. He’d already hurt me.

  Wait a minute.

  Didn’t Finn leave last night?

  He walked over and sat down on my bed.

  “I’ve been sleeping over there.” Finn inclined his head to a chair in the corner. I hadn’t realized I’d spoken that last out loud.

  “Go away,” I grumbled as I lay down and sought a more comfortable position on the cot. It was sheer coincidence that my movement almost pushed him off.

  “Come on, lazy. Time to explore.”

  “Explore?” My head popped up, and I leaned back on my elbows, looking at him. “What do you mean, explore?”

  “What part of explore did you not understand? I can speak slower.”

  I kicked him off the cot this time.

  He chuckled and held up black leather for me.

  Oh, nice, new clothes. I wouldn’t feel like such a freak.

  He smirked as he got to his feet.

  “Come on, then.” He looked down at me, waiting.

  “Okay, turn around.”

  “Why?” He tipped his head.

  “I need to get dressed.” My voice trailed off. I hated that damn uniform, the shivat. I looked over at the chair, where the clothes hung. I’d slipped it off in the middle of the night right after Finn left. But did he leave? I was a bit drunk last night. I gave him the hairy eyeball.

  Now he was really smirking. “Nothing I have not seen.”

  His expression set me off, so I did get up. Finn wasn’t smirking after that. His face went slack. Hah! I held out my hand for the leathers, but he didn’t hand them to me; he was too busy gawking. I felt his gaze drift downward.

  He looked at my face, my breasts, my belly, and my thighs. Finn whistled soundlessly, and I knew he liked what he saw. His stare made me feel beautiful.

  The heat of a flush stained my skin, and I resisted the urge to cover up. I reached to grab the leathers.

  Finn jerked them back, holding them just out of my range. His gaze traced my neck and along my arms. He paused at my shoulders.

  “Your jatua are coming in.”

  Say what?

  I glanced down at my shoulder, which was when he decided to move. He pulled me against him, and I bent backward, our gazes locked. I was very much aware that I remained naked.

  “Look later,” he said and I swallowed.

  Later. Right.

  He lowered his head, going oh so slow. Maybe he was giving me time to think. I didn’t want it. I needed to know if his kiss was as good as I remembered. I wanted to feel. I sprang up and caught his mouth with mine. It surprised him, but he adapted well. He returned my kiss, turning his head to take it deeper. His tongue caressed mine. Warmth spread through me, heat. Damn, he can kiss.

  I gripped his shoulders with my hands, standing on tiptoe.

  Finn groaned and nipped my lower lip; his arms slipped around me, pulling me up off my feet.

  My legs twined with his as I rubbed up against him.

  Hello. What was I doing? I pushed back, licking my lips. He released me, and I slid down his body. I took one hand and ran it down his arm, which he stretched out, the leather dangled from his fingertips.

  “This for me?”

  He pressed his forehead against mine. “Yes. This is for you.”

  I took the clothes and stepped back, making a twirling motion at him, which he ignored. He watched when I turned and shimmied into the pants, then groaned. Hah! I loved my new leathers. Though maybe leather wasn’t the name for it. It felt almost like rubber. They were a dark brown, almost black, tight, but not stiff at all. I squatted to try them out. Not bad. The top felt like cotton and conformed to me. I turned to look at my ass. Not bad at all. There was a separate leather vest that tied over the top. I was going native.

  I pushed the top over to look down at my shoulde
r. Faint smudges spread in a wave down my arm. I’d have thought they were bruises, but the colors weren’t right. Dark red, blue, green, and yellow spread across my skin. I looked at the tattoos on his shoulders. Jatua, eh? I needed to examine the marks more but the idea of going outside sounded too good.

  “Where are we heading?” I asked.

  “Wherever you want.” He leaned back, watching while I adjusted my clothes, his eyes firmly fixed on my ass. I wiggled; I couldn’t resist. Finn grunted behind me.

  “I thought I would show you the valley. Give you a better idea of what it is like here.”

  “Okay. Lead away.”

  He pivoted, adjusted, and walked to the door. It was still dark out, approaching dawn. Pink light filtered into the sky, lighting the area enough to walk. When we were outside, he stopped, turned, and held out his hand. I took it. Warmth spread up my arm. Finn tugged me closer, and I brushed up against him. The same two guards were there, Jack and the Giant—their new nicknames. I waved and surprise zipped across their faces; they raised their hands in reply. Finn tugged me along the path.

  “Let us start at the top and head down and around. The largest lake, Mirror Lake, is home to Clan Gaol. Marin is leader of this clan and the clan chief. Midday is held in his home in level one, the top level of this valley.” He pointed around him. “This is the second largest lake and home to the Orin Clan. My clan.” A proud smile creased his face as he looked around. “The largest two lakes are on high ground, and below, there are four smaller lakes that make up the third level.”

  As he spoke, he pulled some fruit from his vest pockets. Which reminded me, I hadn’t eaten. He handed one to me and started to munch on the other. It tasted like an apple, sweet, followed by a hint of tart, a little too tart, and the texture was awful. Bleah. I turned my head and spit it out. I held on to the rest, remembering Marin’s words. They had just enough to feed their population.

  He ate, continuing to talk between bites. “Think of the valley as a basin. It slopes down and then meets a straight cliff. There are three levels to the basin. Level one holds Mirror Lake. The Halit Clan is also nearby, but they are much less prosperous than the Gaol. This first level is surrounded by woods with a cliff at its back. Our livestock is up there, well protected.