Discern (Discern Saga, Book #1)

by Samantha Shakespeare

  “It was when we gained a real sense of our power that we began playing roles in history. This eventually created mass confusion, and mortals grew dependent upon us. I ultimately grew tired of their constant begging, pleading and wishing for things. My ability to spend time with them was coming to an end. I found myself craving their destruction. I only wanted the taste and feel of their souls. Perhaps now you can understand why Ares, I, was filled with such hatred and rage. It was more than just a role, it was truly how I felt,” he admitted shamefully.

  “Do you still feel that way?” I asked cautiously.

  “No.”

  “That’s good,” I sighed with relief.

  “Haley, even if I still hated mortals, you wouldn’t be one of them.”

  “I’m not sure if that’s comforting or not.”

  “There’s still more to the story, and then you’ll understand,” he assured.

  “Okay.”

  “One day while I was ravaging a village, I heard the sound of a woman’s scream coming from one of the houses. I recognized the male voice that was shouting at her, as my leading general. I was angered because he was not supposed to mingle with mortals. His job was to merely clear a path for me and find the perfect soul to take.”

  “Were your preferences the same as you have today?” I asked, hoping that he always took the evil ones.

  “Yes.”

  “No children, right?” I asked.

  “No, Haley. No children.”

  “Good,” I half-smiled.

  “I immediately jumped off my horse and stormed into the house, angered with his blatant insubordination. I withdrew my sword, which I obviously didn’t need, but it sent a clear message to the mortals, which made controlling them easier. He stood over the most beautiful mortal woman I had ever seen. Her throat was being held by his hand, which I hastily removed. She spoke softly, only asking that her life be spared,” he explained, cautiously watching my reaction.

  “Did you?” I asked, instantly feeling jealous of this beautiful woman he spoke of.

  “Yes. Her soul was amazing. I’d never seen anything more pure before in my entire existence.”

  “Was she your first love?”

  “Yes. The first and only love.”

  “Do you miss her?”

  “I did,” he breathed.

  “I think you still do,” I said softly, as my eyes dropped, figuring I could never compare.

  His hand cupped my chin, and a large smile spread across his face. “Are you jealous?”

  “No.” I instantly became defensive.

  “Haley, your face tells it all, and so does your voice.”

  “Maybe a little,” I conceded.

  “You shouldn’t be jealous, because you and she share the same soul,” he said cautiously.

  I shook my head, unable to fully understand. “How’s that?”

  “That’s the same question I asked myself. The first time I saw you, the same feeling rushed over me as when I first saw her. I hadn’t seen such beauty since then. I immediately knew that you and she were one and the same. Her soul had returned.”

  “Reincarnation?” I murmured.

  “Yes.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t have the answer to that.”

  I was very intrigued with reincarnation, but right now, I wanted to know more about his previous relationship. “What happened next?”

  “Can you handle this?” he asked concerned.

  “Yes.”

  “Her name was Alexandria. She was different than any other mortal I’d come across. I wanted to know more about her and her feelings. I wanted to know of her dreams and desires, so I could fulfill them.” He stopped to clear his throat, again.

  I waited patiently for him to continue.

  “I spent every waking moment beside her. I no longer craved war or mortal destruction. I only longed to be with her. This was very upsetting to my father and the others. They were accustomed to my hate and destruction, in which they took great pleasure.”

  “Did you still consume souls?”

  “Not as much, and I began to lose strength.”

  “Without souls, you have no power?” I asked.

  “I can survive, but barely, and I lose all of my abilities without the energy they supply.”

  “How long did it last?”

  “How long did what last?” he asked.

  “Your relationship with her.”

  “It was short lived.” His face was pained.

  “Sorry,” I murmured.

  He seemed to be lost in his thoughts. “I explained to my father that I no longer wanted to lead the Army. I was done with war, hate and bloodshed. He was unhappy about my choice and promised there would be suffering if I decided to turn against the calling he had set out for me. His disapproval and threats didn’t matter. Only her love did.”

  “When I returned to Alexandria’s village, I found my father and Abrielle, my sister, standing over her with a knife. I watched as my sister killed the only one I ever loved.” His body shifted away as he agonizingly recalled her death.

  “She was still breathing slightly. I tried to heal her wounds, but it was too late. She gasped and blood filled her throat. I simply whispered ‘I love you’ and cursed those who were behind this tragedy. I took her here to Spain, far away from my family.”

  I immediately realized why he had built this house here in Spain. “So this is where you buried her?”

  “Yes,” he sighed.

  “How did you handle her death?”

  “Not well, I was enraged and began destroying anything and everything I could get my hands on, just as my father had planned. He knew rage would overtake my existence, and he would have his destructive son back.”

  “Oh.”

  “I eventually parted ways with my family and taught myself how to control my anger. It wasn’t until the next century that I was forced to rejoin them. The creator insisted upon this.”

  “Were they happy with your return?”

  “Most of them, but too much animosity still remained on my part to enjoy the reunion. I decided to spend the next few centuries torturing them. That was my revenge. Destroying all their hard work really irritated them.” A wicked smile stretched across his face momentarily.

  “Our trust with one another has never been repaired since those times, but now we try hard to remain civil. However, because they murdered Alexandria, I can never forgive them.”

  “Is it her you still long for?” I asked. Speaking those words stung.

  He gently brushed his finger along my cheek. “No, it isn’t her anymore.”

  “Is it just my soul you desire?”

  “At first, I must admit that was the initial attraction, but after getting to know you, I have come to find that there is nothing more beautiful, inside and out, than you—no one could ever compare to you, “ he breathed.

  My eyes dropped, feeling a little overwhelmed by his flattering remark. It was hard to imagine how someone as simple as I would be so attractive to such a magnificent creature. “How does it work?”

  “How does what work?” he asked.

  “Reincarnation.”

  “I don’t know. I was so taken aback by your presence that I lacked the ability to rationalize the situation. I wanted to believe that it was truly you, but it was difficult to allow myself to do so. I’d be crushed if I’d been wrong, so I foolishly went to the bookstore. And then there you were, standing in front of me. We stood there talking about the book that I had intended on reading to discover the truth.”

  “I remember that,” I smiled.

  “When you touched my hand, I felt sparks, and all the doubts were erased. I was certain it was you. I wanted so badly to tell you the truth, but you would’ve been frightened and run away forever, leaving me even more wounded. You have no idea how difficult it was to keep my distance from you.” His voice ached.

  “Are those sparks normal when you touch someone?”

  “No�
��only with you and her.”

  “Those sparks I feel are truly exhilarating,” I smiled. “Did she?”

  “That’s odd that you can feel them, too. I asked her if she could feel them, and the answer was always no.” His face turned from delight to uncertainty.

  His body shifted away from mine. I wasn’t expecting my question to put such a strain on our conversation.

  “Is it something I said?” I asked bemused.

  “No,” he smiled. “Just wondering how you can feel the sparks and see the color change in my eyes.”

  “The color change in your eyes is very beautiful,” I admired.

  “What do you see?”

  “When you’re calm, they’re a beautiful emerald green, and when you’re upset or angered they are deep crimson red. When we’re together, I see another color, especially after our kiss. It’s very warm and inviting.”

  “What color is that?”

  “It’s a golden amber color.”

  “I’ve never been around a mortal who could see those things.” His voice was concerned. “When did you first notice the differences?”

  “I couldn’t at first, until you touched my hand at the bookstore. I felt a sudden jolt of electricity, like static shock. Your eyes immediately changed and then an unusual warmth radiated from your body.”

  Creases formed along his forehead. “You notice the temperature difference too?”

  “Yes, especially when you’re angry,” I explained softly.

  “The night of the diner?”

  “Yes. That’s when I first felt the immense heat.”

  “I’m still amazed that after finding out you weren’t imaging all of this, you continued to be around me.”

  “I’ve been drawn to you since our first meeting on the plane, but the timing wasn’t right,” I admitted.

  “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to heal your heart and make you believe in love again.”

  We both gazed at one another, but I could tell his thoughts were elsewhere.

  “What’s wrong?” I broke the silence

  “Nothing, just trying to figure you out.”

  “That isn’t all I can see,” I said nervously, wondering if I should say more.

  “What else can you see?”

  “Your skin has a golden glow, and at the diner when you burned my hand, your body had an eerie, orange glow.” I tucked in my lower lip.

  “Anything else?”

  “Your brother’s appearance was the same as yours, but I was confused by his speech,” I explained uneasily.

  “Alec?”

  “Yes. Everyone was clapping when he spoke, but the things I heard shouldn’t bring about joy. I figured at the time I was just imaging them, but now I realize I was really hearing something different. I even confirmed with my dad that what we were hearing were two different speeches,” I rambled.

  Andrew’s face was now horror stricken. “This isn’t possible.” His movements were uneasy as he rose from the couch. “What did you hear?” He glared down at me.

  “I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, as I really did believe I was going insane.”

  “Do you remember anything?” He continued to interrogate.

  “Umm…he was just going on about how we mortals will soon find out our fate…or something like that.” I desperately tried to remember his speech, but I had been so focused on Andrew that evening—I had blocked most of that memory out.

  “Oh,” he sighed heavily. “My brother is over dramatic, his dislike for the mortal world is growing worrisome,” he laughed nervously.

  “Well, now that I know the history behind things, it makes more sense. But he really isn’t going to hurt anyone, is he?”

  “No,” he said sternly, seemingly irritated with my question.

  “Sorry, this is all just so confusing.”

  “I’m not upset with you, just intrigued by your ability to see through our façade.”

  “Does this change your feelings for me?”

  He spun back around. “No. Your abilities are quite intriguing and give some hope to our situation.”

  “There wasn’t any hope before this?”

  “Not in my world. Finding you once again is bittersweet,” he sighed.

  “Why’s that?” His words cut deep.

  “You don’t know how I’ve yearned for this feeling again, but dragging you in to my world was a difficult decision. All I’m certain of is that I can’t live without you,” he confessed.

  “I’m confused,” I muttered.

  “You couldn’t possibly understand my dilemma or how deeply I feel for you. I won’t let them or anyone hurt you—nothing else matters. No one will take you away from me ever again.” His promise seemed more like a threat.

  “Will your whole family try to hurt me?” I asked, choking slightly.

  “My whole family is very dangerous and would do everything in their power to eliminate you.” He spoke apprehensively.

  Chills ran down my spine. “So this can never happen, can it?” I asked, tears welling.

  He immediately kneeled down beside me, lightly touching my hand. “I’ll die before anyone or anything comes between us,” he said sternly.

  “I don’t want you to die for me.”

  “Death would be welcomed if I cannot be with you.”

  “But I don’t want either of us to die, so how will this relationship ever work?”

  “I’ll know when my family is near and hide you.”

  “O-Okay.”

  “Are you scared?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “Not of death, but I don’t want any harm to come to you.”

  “I’m too strong, and I have more of a reason to live now than ever, so don’t worry.”

  His words from the cemetery flashed through my thoughts. “Kiss of death,” I murmured.

  “You remembered.”

  “Yes.”

  “I will keep you safe. My presence will not bring death to you, I promise you that.”

  “I hope my presence doesn’t bring death to you.” I cringed. Death was inevitable. Hopefully, it wasn’t anytime soon.

  The light from the sun began shining through the slits of the dark curtains. “What time is it?” I asked.

  “It’s almost four in the morning in Boulder,” he said, raising from the floor and causally stretching.

  “Wow, time passes by quickly when your boy…” I paused. “I-I mean your friend is discussing his journeys through history,” I smiled nervously, trying not to look in his direction. I quickly stood up attempting to turn and walk away out of pure embarrassment, as I assumed with his abilities he heard my slip up.

  He quickly reached out for me. “You’re adorable,” he chuckled lightly.

  “Not funny,” I grumbled.

  His warm hand gently lifted my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I’m whatever you want me to be. Nothing else matters but you,” he whispered as his lips pressed against my forehead.

  “I’m not sure what I want you to be…” I paused.

  He began to speak, but I gently placed my finger over his lips. “I wasn’t finished,” I smiled.

  “Go on.”

  “I just know I want to be with you, no matter the cost.”

  He pulled my body in close, leaning in to press his soft, warm lips to mine. We gently kissed. My hands moved from my sides, carefully running my fingers through his hair. As our bodies pushed up against one another, my guard dropped, getting lost in the heat of the moment. Our kiss became more intense as we fell back against the couch.

  If this was the kiss of death, then it was worth it—no kiss could compare. His hands moved from my face to my hips. I froze, instantly stopping. I kept my eyes closed, ashamed to look at him. He released his hands from my hips and the heat dissipated. I reluctantly opened my eyes. “Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize,” he grinned. “I’ll always follow your lead,” he said, gently lifting my hand and pressing his lips against it. “We shou
ld get going before your father grows worried and alarms the whole city.”

  He pressed my body against his, and I braced for the swirling sensation to return as we were once more traveling his way. I closed my eyes and we began to move. Before I could adjust to the sensation, my feet gently touch the ground.

  We were back at the old burned down gas station, right outside of Boulder. I inhaled deeply trying to unwind the knots in my stomach. I tried to move, but stumbled as I took a step. His hand caught my forearm, before I could fall to the ground.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.”

  He swept me up into his arms, and we glided over to his car. He gently placed me in the passenger seat. “Rest your head,” he instructed.

  He quickly disappeared and the driver’s side door opened. He smoothly slid inside.

  “I’m all right,” I insisted.

  “You don’t have to pretend to be strong for me,” he smiled gently.

  “I feel I should.”

  “You don’t. Nothing you could do or say would make me feel or think any less of you.”

  I stared out the windshield trying to focus. The spinning began to subside. “I feel better.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” I reassured, slowly buckling my seatbelt.

  He started the car and began reversing; nonchalantly looking over his shoulder. I wasn’t even sure he needed to look behind him. In fact, I wasn’t sure of too many things at this point, except one—I was falling in love.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “My head is better if that’s what you’re wondering about,” I half-heartedly smiled.

  “That’s good. I have to admit, I’m a little shocked,” he mentioned casually.

  “About?”

  “You accepted the whole reincarnation explanation better than I expected.”

  “I have an open mind about many things, and it’s always seemed plausible to me. I figured you wouldn’t make up some elaborate story like that if it weren’t true.”

  “Why not?” he asked intrigued.

  “I’m quite sure you can have any woman you want, so there has to be a reason why you would choose me.”

  His head snapped in my direction. “Haley,” he said softly. “I would’ve been attracted to you even if you didn’t have her soul.”

  “You said my soul was the initial attraction,” I reminded.