The Time of My Life

by Cecelia Ahern

  ‘Hello, Puddle Duck,’ I said, giving her a big hug.

  ‘Can I sit beside you?’ she asked.

  I glanced at my mother who looked confused and started to pick up place names and think aloud in that way that mothers do. Finally she said yes and Jemima sat beside me and Mum returned to adjusting the knives and forks, which were already perfectly laid out. She seemed distracted. Silchesters weren’t distracted.

  ‘Did the carpet company say who they would be sending out?’

  ‘I spoke to a man named Roger. He said he didn’t work late in the evenings but his son would come around.’

  My heart lifted, then sank, then lifted, bobbing up and down as though it were a buoy in the high seas. Oddly I felt excited to see him, but didn’t want it to be here.

  Mum continued to move perfectly placed knives and forks around the table. ‘How are the wedding plans going, Mum?’ Philip asked.

  When Mum looked up she had a slightly pained expression but it vanished so quickly I had to question whether it had been there at all.

  ‘Everything is going very well, thank you. I ordered both your and Riley’s suits. They are sublime. And Lucy, I received your dress measurements from Edith, thank you. I chose a wonderful fabric and I really didn’t want to order it without showing you first.’

  I hadn’t sent my dress measurements, that must have been Life, which annoyed me – and it made sense as to why I’d woken up with a measuring tape wrapped around my chest – but I was relieved I could give approval before it was ordered. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘But the dressmaker told me if I didn’t order it by Monday it wouldn’t be ready on time so I had to tell them to go ahead.’ She looked a little worried. ‘Is that okay? I did call and call but you were busy, probably with … what do we call him, dear?’

  ‘You don’t have to call him anything,’ I said dismissively, then, gritting my teeth, ‘I’m sure the dress will be lovely.’

  Riley chuckled.

  ‘It will stain,’ my grandmother said, coming alive. ‘Mark my words, that fabric will stain.’ She turned to me, ‘Lucy, we can’t be seated with a guest without knowing his name.’

  ‘You can call him Cosmo.’

  ‘What can I call him?’ Riley asked.

  Jemima laughed without moving her forehead. An astonishing feat of nature, as she hadn’t a drop of rat poison under her skin.

  ‘What kind of a name is that?’ my grandmother asked, disgusted.

  ‘It’s a first name. Cosmo Brown is his full name.’

  ‘Oh, that’s the man from the film …’ Mum started clicking her fingers as she tried to remember. My grandmother looked at her with further disgust. ‘Donald O’Connor played him in …’ She clicked, clicked, clicked. ‘Singin’ in the Rain!’ she finally said and laughed. Then, full of concern again, ‘He doesn’t have a nut allergy, does he?’

  ‘Donald O’Connor?’ I asked. ‘I don’t know, I think he passed away some years ago.’

  ‘From nuts?’ Riley asked.

  ‘I think it was congestive heart failure,’ Philip said.

  ‘No, I mean your friend, Cosmo,’ Mum said.

  ‘Oh no, he’s alive.’

  Riley and Philip laughed.

  ‘I wouldn’t worry about him,’ I said. ‘Isn’t it just nice that we’re all gathered here together, regardless of whether he’s here or not.’

  Riley caught the tone and leaned forward to catch my eye. I wouldn’t do it.

  On that note Edith rushed into the dining room, her cheeks flushed. ‘Lucy,’ she said gently. ‘I wonder when your friend will arrive. It’s just that the lamb is now ready as Mr Silchester likes it and he has an important phone call at eight p.m.’ I looked at the clock. Life was ten minutes late and father had only allocated thirty minutes for dinner in his schedule.

  ‘Tell Mr Silchester that he can delay his phone call,’ Mum said sharply which surprised us all, ‘and he can eat his meat a little more well done than usual.’

  We were all silent, including my grandmother, which was unheard of.

  ‘Some things are more important,’ Mum said, straightening her back and the silverware again.

  ‘Maybe Father can join us now and my friend can catch up with us later. There’s no point in waiting if he’s going to be much later,’ I said to Edith, giving her my emergency-eyes look, which I hoped she would interpret as He’s not coming, heeeelp!

  On that note the intercom at the gate buzzed.

  ‘That’s him,’ Mum said with excitement.

  I looked out the window and saw Don’s bright yellow van with the slowly turning flaming red magic carpet that looked like it was on a spit at the gate. I jumped up and pulled the curtains to the three grand windows closed dramatically. ‘I’ll greet him. You all stay here.’

  Riley studied me.

  ‘I want it to be a complete surprise,’ I said, then I ran from the room and closed the door. I was pacing in the entrance hall when Edith came out of the kitchen to join me.

  ‘What are you up to?’

  ‘Nothing,’ I said, biting my nails.

  ‘Lucy Silchester, I have known you all of your life and I know you’re up to no good. I have one minute to fetch your father so I need to know if I should be prepared.’

  ‘Fine,’ I hissed. ‘My life and I had a fight and he’s not coming today.’

  ‘Merciful hour.’ Edith held her hands to her head. ‘Why don’t you just tell them?’

  ‘Why do you think?’ I hissed.

  ‘So who’s this here?’ We heard the car stop in the drive, the engine cut out.

  ‘The carpet man,’ I hissed.

  ‘And why is that bad?’

  ‘Because I slept with him last night.’

  Edith groaned.

  ‘But I’m in love with someone else.’

  She moaned.

  ‘I think.’

  She whined.

  ‘Oh, God, what am I going to do? Think, think, think, Lucy.’

  Then I instantly had a plan. She must have seen it in my face.

  ‘Lucy,’ she said in a warning tone.

  ‘Don’t worry.’ I grabbed her hands and held on to them tight. I looked her dead in the eyes. ‘You don’t know anything, nobody told you anything, you are not responsible, it has nothing to do with you, it is all my decision.’

  ‘How many times in my life have I heard those words?’

  ‘And isn’t it always okay?’

  Edith’s eyes widened. ‘Lucy Silchester, of all the things you have ever done, this is the worst.’

  ‘They’ll never know. I promise,’ I said in an attempt to calm her.

  She whimpered and shuffled off to get my father.

  I stepped outside and pulled the front door closed behind me. Don was getting out of his car and he looked up at me in surprise.

  ‘Hi, welcome to my country retreat,’ I said.

  He smiled, but not as widely as he used to. He came up the steps towards me, and suddenly I had an overwhelming desire to kiss him again. I didn’t know what to say but from inside the house I could hear my father’s study door open and his footsteps across the hallway.

  ‘Lucy is outside greeting him now, sir,’ I could hear Edith saying breathlessly as she tried to catch up with him.

  ‘Fine. Let’s just get this nonsense over and done with, shall we,’ he said.

  We both heard him.

  ‘I’m sorry about this morning,’ I said, genuinely meaning every word of it.

  Don studied me, to see if I genuinely meant every word of it.

  ‘I told you I was messed up. Not that that makes it any better, but I am. I don’t know what I want. I thought I did. But Life has shown me that I don’t. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and I need to figure it out. I’m trying to figure it out.’

  He nodded, studied me some more. ‘Are you still in love with your ex?’

  ‘I think so. But I don’t know.’

  He was quiet for a moment. ‘Your life told me
he might have a new girlfriend.’

  ‘My life has one?’

  ‘No, Blake. He told me when you were in the shower.’

  ‘That’s a very strong possibility.’

  He looked around the estate, then back at me. ‘I don’t love you, Lucy.’ He paused. ‘But I do know that I like you. A lot.’

  I put my hand on my heart. ‘That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.’

  ‘I don’t want to be used in some experiment in your life.’

  ‘You’re not being used.’

  ‘And I don’t want to be second best.’

  ‘You’d never be. I just feel like I need to tie up a few loose ends in my life, that’s all.’

  He seemed satisfied with that. There was nothing more I could think of to say.

  He looked around at the house. ‘Are you nervous about this?’

  ‘Completely. I haven’t been in a relationship for three years, I’m making every single mistake I could possibly make.’

  He smiled. ‘No, I mean, about your life meeting them?’

  ‘Oh. No. I don’t feel nervous at all. Just physically ill.’

  ‘It’ll be fine, he’ll do all the talking.’

  ‘He’s not here and I don’t think he’s coming. I lost my job today and Life isn’t talking to me.’ I swallowed then, realising how deep I was in it.

  His eyes widened. ‘Anything I can do to help?’

  Everybody was sitting around the table when I poked my head inside the room. Father wasn’t at the head of the table, which surprised me, instead it had been left free for my life.

  ‘Everybody, I’m very sorry for delaying you; Father, I know you have an important phone call not long from now, we won’t keep you from that but I’d like to introduce you to …’ I opened the door wider and pulled Don inside.

  ‘This is my family. My family,’ I looked at Don, ‘this is my life.’

  He smiled and his dimples took over his face. Then he laughed and I thought there was no way on earth he was going to be able to do this.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He stopped laughing. ‘I’m just so honoured to meet you all.’

  He held his hand out to Jemima. ‘Hello there.’

  ‘Jemima,’ she said shyly, taking his hand.

  ‘Nice to meet you, Jemima.’

  Don moved on and my mum hopped up out of her seat. My grandmother didn’t budge, just held her hand out limply.

  ‘Victoria,’ she said.

  ‘Lucy’s life,’ he said.

  ‘Yes.’ She looked him up and down and pulled her hand away.

  ‘I’m Riley.’ Riley stood up and gave him a firm handshake. ‘I have a jacket just like that.’

  ‘That’s a co-inky-dinky,’ I said, ushering Don on to my mum.

  ‘Yes, I left it just out …’ Riley looked out to the closed door in the direction of the hallway. While Don and my mum shook hands, Riley pulled the curtains open. He looked out the window, saw Don’s van and gave me a warning look. I gave one right back and he just looked from Don to me and shook his head and took his seat. Everybody was so busy watching Don, and greeting Don, that they missed our exchange.

  ‘This is Lucy’s father, Mr Silchester,’ Mum said to Don.

  Don looked at me while he made his way to my father. I pursed my lips and tried not to laugh, nervously, while he did the same. Then he took his seat at the head of the table.

  ‘You have a lovely home,’ he said, looking around. ‘Is this oak?’

  ‘Yes,’ my mum said, excitedly, ‘We call it the Oak Room.’

  ‘We’re a creative bunch,’ I said and Don laughed.

  ‘So tell us, how are you and Lucy getting along?’ Mum asked, hands clasped together.

  ‘Lucy and I,’ Don looked at me, and my heart quickened, ‘are getting along just famously, thank you. She’s incredibly energetic,’ he said and Riley slid down in his chair slightly. ‘So it takes a lot to keep up with her but I’m just crazy about her,’ he said without taking his eyes off me.

  I couldn’t stop looking at him.

  ‘Isn’t that lovely,’ Mum whispered, not wanting to break the spell. ‘To be in love with life, I can see it on her face. Isn’t that something?’

  I snapped out of it then when I realised Mum was staring at me.

  ‘Yes, well …’ I cleared my throat while I felt all eyes on me and my cheeks blazed. ‘Why don’t we tell him a little something about us?’

  ‘Well, Mr Silchester and I are renewing our vows,’ Mum said, all excited, ‘Isn’t that right, Samuel?’

  My father said a long, lazy and unenthusiastic yes. Don quite understandably assumed it to be a joke and laughed, but as it wasn’t his laugh was misguided and misplaced.

  Mum said, a little embarrassed, ‘It’s our thirty-fifth anniversary this year and we thought it would be a nice way to celebrate.’

  ‘Congratulations,’ Don said politely.

  ‘Thank you. I’ve asked Lucy to be my bridesmaid. I do hope you will come.’

  Don looked at me with amusement. ‘I’m sure Lucy is very excited about that.’

  ‘Pardon my ignorance on this matter, but how long do you plan on staying around for?’ Mum asked.

  ‘I’d like to stay around for quite a while,’ Don said and I felt his eyes on me again. ‘But that’s up to Lucy.’

  I quickly looked at Riley, who winked at me, and despite my plans to get back with Blake, I couldn’t help but smile.

  Edith entered with a trolley of bowls and a giant tureen of soup. She handed out the bowls and began ladling. ‘Courgette and pea,’ she said to Don, then fired me a warning look to let me know she wanted no part of this.

  ‘Mmm,’ I said, exaggerating. ‘My favourite. Thanks, Edith.’

  She ignored me, serving up the soup and leaving me until last.

  The intercom buzzed again.

  ‘That will be the carpet cleaner,’ Mum said and looked to Edith. ‘Edith?’

  ‘I’ll show him in to the drawing room,’ Edith said, giving me an alarmed look.

  I was slightly concerned. If Life had indeed decided to show up, he would not be happy being led into a room with a dirty carpet to clean or with the fact that I’d told a majestic lie. I’d really done it now. But it couldn’t be him, he had deserted me, had left me alone to deal with my family; he would be a lazy foolish Life to back out of that enormous lesson. Unless he sensed a lie, of course, which would mean it was the perfect time for him to arrive, so that I would learn an even greater lesson.

  ‘Have you been to Lucy’s workplace?’ Philip asked and my heart sank.

  ‘Yes,’ I interrupted, ‘and actually, funny you should mention that, but I have some news.’ I tried to make it sound positive; gift-wrapping bad news. I needed to say it all in case Life stormed in trying to get me back for this gigantic lie.

  ‘You got a promotion,’ Mum anticipated excitedly, her voice almost a screech.

  ‘Actually, no.’ I looked at Don nervously for moral support, then back to my mother. ‘As of today, I no longer work at Mantic.’

  She made an oh shape with her mouth.

  ‘Where do you work instead?’ Riley asked, waiting for the good news.

  ‘Eh … Nowhere yet.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that but they’ve been haemorrhaging money for years, more job cuts were always on the cards.’

  I was grateful to Philip for saying this.

  ‘Did they offer you a redundancy package?’ Riley asked, concerned.

  ‘Actually, no, because I left. It was my decision.’

  My father slammed his fist down on the table. Everyone jumped, the cutlery and condiment bowls all rattled on the white linen.

  ‘It’s okay sweetheart,’ Philip said to Jemima, who was wide-eyed and looking at her father in terror – at least I guessed it was terror because her face wasn’t moving much apart from her eyes. I put my arm around her protectively.

  ‘Is this your doing?’ Father demanded of Don.

  �
��Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now,’ I said gently to my father, hoping he’d pick up on my tone.

  ‘I think this is the perfect time to talk about it,’ he boomed.

  ‘Jemima, come with me,’ Philip said and he brought her out of the room, to my grandmother’s tutting. When the door opened I saw Edith letting Life into the house. Life looked in and saw me, just as the door was closing.

  ‘Well, answer me,’ Father said patronisingly to Don.

  ‘We’re not in the courthouse now,’ I said, under my breath.

  ‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that in my house.’

  I ignored him, I kept eating my soup but everybody was silent and nobody moved an inch. Father rarely lost his temper, he was rarely tipped over the edge but when he was, it was mighty. He had been tipped over the edge now, and I could hear it in his voice; the anger was building too and though I tried to keep calm, I couldn’t help but feel my nerves grow.

  ‘He had nothing to do with it,’ I said quietly.

  ‘And why not? Shouldn’t he be responsible for your decisions?’

  ‘No, because he’s not actually my—’

  ‘No, that’s okay Lucy,’ Don interrupted. I don’t know if it was because he was afraid or if it was because he wasn’t but when I looked at him I saw no fear at all, just annoyance and the desire to protect.

  ‘What exactly is your role here?’ my father asked.

  ‘My role,’ Don looked at me, ‘is to make her happy.’

  ‘Nonsense.’

  ‘And when she’s happy she’ll find the right path,’ Don said. ‘I wouldn’t worry about Lucy.’

  ‘I’ve never heard such absolute nonsense. This is drivel. If, in fact, you are to help her on her right path, aren’t you failing?’