Pulled Within

by Marni Mann

  The heat of his mouth turned to my nipple, sucking it through the fabric. “Yes. Now do it again.”

  My back arched. He knew from so many years ago how sensitive my breasts were, and how I would respond if he used his teeth, if he tugged the hardened tip into his mouth and bit down. But instead of going further, he moved his hands to my ass and lifted me into the air. My legs circled his waist, and I kissed him as he carried me. My fingers snaked through his hair, my toes linking together as I fed on his mouth.

  I was starving for him.

  He sat me on the edge of the dining room table with my legs still around him. The button-down had ridden up to my mid-thighs and bunched around my stomach. He glanced at the bottom of the shirt and back up at me. “Show it to me.” The silver of his eyes had darkened to a deep, piercing gray. It stirred me almost as hard as his fingers gripped my skin.

  My hands were behind me holding my weight. I lifted them and moved to the hem of the shirt. The slow reveal wasn’t only for him. It was just as much for me.

  “Lean back and show me what I want,” he insisted.

  The way my body responded to his demands just added to the build. But he wasn’t nearly as patient as I was. He untangled my feet from behind him and pushed my thighs even farther apart, watching as the shirt rode up.

  “Rae…show it to me.”

  There was only about an inch to go. I clipped the bottom of it between my fingers and gradually lifted. My eyes stayed on his face, watching his expression as I exposed myself. He’d seen it before—not just when we’d dated all those years ago, but when he’d found me in the bathtub at Caleb’s and when he’d placed me in his own just several hours ago. And yet, the look that crossed his face didn’t seem to show that. It was as if this was something he’d waited for, something he’d longed for.

  Something he was going to savor, now that he finally had it again.

  He dropped to his knees, hooked his arms around my thighs and brought me to his mouth. “This,” and he licked the entire length of me, “is what I’ve wanted for so long.” His tongue flattened as he ran it vertically and pointed when he swept from side to side. His fingers found a place too, giving me the feeling of fullness that I needed.

  My hands moved behind me so I wouldn’t fall. I rested a heel on the top of the nearest chair. It had been years since I’d been able to look down and see the top of Hart’s head at my center. Though there had been changes for both of us, the man he’d grown to be only made me want him more. I’d been too young and too immature back then to understand what the future really meant, how satisfying it could be to give your body to someone who knew how to please it. If it wasn’t for his absence and the other men I’d dated who only served as stand-ins, guys I tried to put back together from whatever pain they were feeling, I wouldn’t have appreciated the man Hart had become. But I could do that now.

  I completely surrendered to it.

  I let my head fall back between my shoulders, allowing the sensation to build inside my body. The combination of his tongue and fingers brought me dangerously close to the edge.

  “Don’t come yet,” he demanded as his movements slowed. My body and moans must have told him I was seconds away. “I’m not even close to being done with you.”

  “Hart,” I breathed, my chest heaving, my hands reaching forward to grip his hair. I pulled as hard as I could. “Don’t stop.”

  “I know how badly you want it.” His chin glistened as he spoke. “But we’re going at my pace, baby, not yours.”

  I released his hair and fell back against the table. My arms spread, and my fingers folded around the lip. The pressure of the wood felt good as it resisted my grasp, but not nearly as good as what his tongue was doing to me. “Please, Hart, let me come.”

  My request changed his speed. He started going even faster. That was what he wanted: for me to beg.

  So I did.

  “Right there, Hart, don’t stop…please don’t stop.”

  His tongue flicked even quicker; his fingers continued to fill me. When I got to the point where I was shuddering, he let me quiver through it. He didn’t stop, and he didn’t pause; he let my body feel each ripple, like thunder rolling across me.

  When I’d finally stilled and settled, he crawled over my body and kissed his way up my chest until he reached my lips. “You gave me exactly what I asked for…and you were fucking delicious.”

  I swiped my finger over his mouth and around his scruff, sweeping off some of the wetness. He caught it between his lips and sucked it all off.

  He had wanted his scent all over me.

  But all I could smell was my scent all over him.

  “You have to go back to work,” I said. I didn’t want the moment to turn awkward, so I gave him an out before it did. And I really had to get ready for work, too.

  His hands moved around to my back as he lifted me off the table and carried me to one of the couches. “If I had my way, neither of us would be going anywhere.”

  “I know.” I leaned up to brush my lips over his. “I’ll wake you up when I get back.”

  “You’re coming back after work?”

  I nodded.

  His brows furrowed. “What does that mean, Rae?”

  “It means…I’m moving in. If you still want me to.” His eyes caught fire. I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. “I can’t say for how long. I’m still getting used to all this again, but if you’ll have me, I’d like to stay.”

  He laughed, his tongue sweeping across his lip. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  He was probably right. But I wasn’t going to tell him that.

  “At some point, we’re going to have to talk about what happened in the bath.”

  I leaned forward and bit down gently on his lip. “Let’s talk about us instead.”

  I’d made him comfortable enough to reach for my face. I knew it would happen sooner or later, I just wasn’t prepared for it. His thumb slowly grazed my chin and crept to my lip, then his fingers cupped my cheek. I flinched and shuddered. It didn’t matter that it was out of instinct and fear associated with someone other than Hart.

  As soon as it happened, I regretted it.

  His hand dropped, his eyes lingering on mine as they searched for answers they wouldn’t find. He pulled away and shifted to the other side of the couch, but I grabbed his arm. I had to fill the gap somehow. “Please don’t leave. I’m sorry.”

  His confusion was visible. “Are you scared of me?”

  I pulled my legs up to my chest, my usual defensive position. “No, I’m not scared.”

  “Then why do you cringe whenever I try to touch your face or your hair?”

  I wasn’t ready to explain it to him. “I’m going to work on that.”

  The truth was I had no idea how to even begin working on it. I just didn’t know what else to say to keep him from feeling like my fear had anything to do with him. There were moments in the past five years when someone had touched one of my restricted places and I hadn’t freaked out—Saint, mostly, and usually when we were fucked up. But Saint knew the places he couldn’t touch, and he never tried to push it. I suspected Hart would do just that. Not because he wanted to hurt me, but because he wanted to heal me.

  I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready for that.

  Twenty-three days.

  He started to speak and I cut him off, “I know you have questions— years’ worth, I’m sure. I promise we’ll talk about it. All of it. And soon. But not now. I need time, and you have to give me that.”

  His hand slid up and down my shin, and he pulled me closer to his body. I tucked my face into his neck and took in his warmth. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said, “I’ll be ready, too.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  SHANE HAD SENT a text during my shift to let me know Brady was now allowed visitors in addition to phone calls. Since my work schedule took up my nights, he arranged for us to make a trip to the center early the next morning. It meant that I’d only
get about two hours of sleep before I’d have to leave again. Shane’s text apologized for that. My reply told him that when it came to Brady, I didn’t care if I got any sleep at all.

  I returned to Hart’s place after work, letting myself in with the key he’d given me. It was immediately obvious that I wouldn’t be crawling into bed to wake him. All the lights were on, and I smelled bacon and cinnamon as I moved inside. The table was fully set; he handed me a mug of coffee when I met him in the kitchen. I took a sip as his lips pressed into my neck.

  “I missed this smell.” His face dug into the collar of my jacket and kissed the spot next to my shoulder. “And this taste.”

  I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “I missed your mouth.”

  “Oh yeah?” His brows rose. He pulled his lips away and lifted the mug out of my grasp, setting it on the counter next to us. “There’s no reason you have to wait for it.”

  My stomach growled, as if on cue. I’d been so busy at work, I hadn’t had a chance to take any of my breaks, let alone eat anything. It was still so sensitive, but I had to give it something.

  He heard the grumble and laughed. His hands rubbed circles over my navel. “I think I’d better feed you first.”

  I didn’t disagree.

  I pulled the mug back into my hands. “What are you doing up this early?”

  He returned to the stove, stirring the potatoes and flipping the strips of bacon and the two omelets he had frying in separate pans. “I like to go for a run before the sun comes up, when the road is dark and quiet. Then I head to the office before the guys so I can prepare for the disasters of the day.”

  I slid next to him and leaned my back into the countertop. “You have such a grown-up job managing all those people.” There was only a two-year age difference between us. It suddenly felt like ten.

  “I managed you just fine yesterday, didn’t I?” He grinned, keeping his eyes on the eggs.

  I laughed. “But I don’t work for you.”

  “True. The guys respect me because I’ve earned it. I have a strict no-bullshit policy. They appreciate that.”

  I liked hearing about his professional life. “Does it get easier as you go?”

  He shook his head. “Actually, the job gets more complex with each build-out. But I also become more knowledgeable. It works for now.”

  “For now?”

  “You shouldn’t be surprised to hear that spas really aren’t my thing.”

  “The sports guy doesn’t appreciate spa living?” I teased.

  “Shocking, isn’t it? I’m trying to figure out how to apply my business degree to that arena—something more athletics-based. In the meantime, this is affording me some time to think about it and come up with a solid plan.”

  If Brady were heading off to a construction site, he’d be dressed in a flannel and a pair of paint-covered jeans. Not Hart. He wore dark jeans that had small, fashionably-placed holes around the pockets. His shirt matched the color of his eyes and it was mostly hidden beneath a hoodie. It was different from the one he’d lent me; this one was fitted and had a brand logo I didn’t recognize. His taste had a stylish edge that hinted at his power.

  It didn’t scream wealth.

  It whispered it instead.

  “Maine doesn’t have any sports teams,” I told him. “But you know that already.”

  He laughed as he lifted a spoonful of potato and held it up to my lips. “Blow…it’s hot.”

  I knew whichever job he ended up with, the spa gig or something to do with sports, he’d have to leave Bar Harbor. Eventually, he’d share his plans and I’d reveal my secrets. That was the only way this would work.

  Whatever this was.

  I kept my eyes locked on his as I pressed my lips together and puffed out air to cool down the potatoes. I stopped, and he slowly slid the spoon inside my mouth. I licked the seasoning off my lips.

  “I was going to ask you if it needed salt, but suddenly, I don’t really care if it does.” He leaned forward and devoured my mouth while I still had tiny pieces of food left in there.

  The spatula and spoon both clunked against their pans as he dropped them to put his hands on my waist. His fingers traveled to the underwire of my bra, then down to the string of my panties.

  Whenever I kissed him, his mouth always had a hint of sweetness to it. This morning, it was toothpaste and cinnamon rolls. He’d sampled whatever was baking in the oven. The dampness in his hair and the smell of his skin told me he’d finished his run and already showered before I had arrived. I wondered how his citrus-scented body wash would taste.

  My hand reached underneath his layers, rubbing over his belt buckle and up over his stomach.

  I bent at the knees, heading down for a taste of him, but he bit my bottom lip and stopped me. “Move over there.” He motioned to the other side of the kitchen as he gently removed my hands from his stomach. “If you don’t, I’ll throw you across the countertop and take you right here.”

  My eyes glazed at the thought of it. “That would be giving me exactly what I want, Hart.”

  His silver eyes pierced me. A familiar throbbing started to pulse between my legs. “Get over there. Now.” I smiled as I stepped away and moved around to the other end of the island. “When I fuck you, it isn’t going to be on a counter…and it isn’t going to be rushed like it would have to be now.”

  I licked what salt remained from my lips. “Okay.”

  He turned back to the stove. “Look in the bag over there.”

  I’d been so preoccupied with him, I hadn’t even noticed the bag. When I reached inside, I found a phone charger. “Is this for me?”

  He nodded. “Keep it in your car.”

  “So I won’t ever have a dead phone again…”

  That was his way of taking care of me. I was living with him and yet I hadn’t paid for anything, which was something else we needed to talk about. And now, he was buying me things. Small things, but things nonetheless.

  “How much do I owe you for it?”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “It’s a gift. I don’t want your money; I just want you to be safe. You’re driving back and forth from Bangor to Bar Harbor almost every day in the early hours of the morning. I want to make sure you can at least call for help if something happens.”

  “That’s thoughtful of you.” My voice softened as much as my posture.

  “It’s what people do when they care about someone.”

  I was learning that…slowly. And I was trying to accept it. I wasn’t used to dating someone like grown-up Hart. I was used to high-school-junior Hart, and grown men who were nothing like him. There was quite a difference.

  He walked past me, carrying the full plates of food to the table. My mouth watered from their smells. I knew the pangs in my stomach weren’t just from hunger. It was almost the end of November now. The days were ticking away. But there was no reason to dwell on the date, or wonder whether I’d throw up this food after I ate it. Whatever was happening here, at this moment, felt right.

  He made one last trip to the table before clasping my hand in his and bringing me with him. We sat next to each other, and I dove right into my plate. The food tasted even better than it smelled. The cinnamon buns were gooey and oozed icing when I took a bite.

  “You can cook,” I said. “Like, really cook.”

  “Thanks. Can’t you?”

  “The basics, and I’m not even really good at that.”

  “How about baking? I remember Darren making us some mean chocolate chip cookies…”

  A sharp pain stabbed at the back of my throat. I couldn’t let it come through my voice. “I don’t bake, either.”

  “I can teach you, if you want. It’s something we can do together.”

  I finally looked up from my plate, trying to hide the pain in my eyes, too. “I like the way that sounds.”

  “Good. We can start with something simple, like cookies, and you can bring a batch over to your Mom’s place. She still lives around here, doesn�
�t she?”

  “She does.” I took a sip, washing down the food in my mouth before I choked on it. I needed to change the subject. “I have to work tonight, but I’m going to be swinging by the spa in a few hours.”

  His brows rose. “Coming by to bring me my…lunch?”

  I laughed and blushed at the same time, the hurt finally starting to ease. I was thankful he hadn’t waited for me to answer him about the cookies. “Not exactly. I’m meeting Shane and we’re driving to Bangor together. Brady’s finally allowed visitors.”

  He said nothing in response. He didn’t even blink. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, lifted his plate and walked it over to the sink. “That’s what you’re doing today? Visiting Brady?”

  I didn’t understand his sudden mood change.

  “Why do you sound so surprised?” I asked.

  “I just didn’t realize he’d be allowed visitors so soon. That’s all.” He carried the frying pans over to the sink and dropped them in loudly.

  “It’s been almost two weeks, which isn’t really all that soon considering rehab is only thirty days.”

  He turned to face me, his expression full of disapproval. We were only feet apart, but it suddenly felt like I was on the other side of town.

  The wrong side.

  “I’ve never known anyone who’s gone to rehab, Rae, so I wouldn’t know.”

  I stood from my chair, my heart pounding against my chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. I just…” His voice trailed off, and he paused. “Does that mean I won’t be seeing you when I come home for lunch?”

  I nodded, holding tightly to the back of the chair. “I’m going to stay up there until I have to go to work.”

  He walked toward me, leaving me with a rough, insincere kiss that landed half on my lips and half on my chin. It was a careless attempt, and he didn’t try to fix it. He just grabbed his jacket and continued to walk to the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned around. “I’ll see you when I get home.”

  “I’ll see you—”

  I didn’t get to finish before he walked out and shut the door.