Fan Girl

by Brandace Morrow

  “Why is he even with her?” Della asks. Fandy replies bluntly, “He’s blinded by her pussy. Don’t doubt it for a second.”

  Deklan rolls his eyes. “That’s a cop out. He just doesn’t want the drama of a breakup. He’s always been a pushover with women.”

  Tommy says, “Yeah well, your shit’s gonna be all over the damn internet in about five minutes, so you better get prepared real fast.”

  I look at Deklan, who is watching me, then I look back to Tommy and shrug. “I don’t have a problem with it. We already agreed to do this together and the paps are at my shop. I know Dek doesn’t care.”

  Deklan squeezes my neck and kisses the side of my head before saying, “I’ve been wanting to scream it from a freaking rooftop. I can’t wait.”

  My heart goes warm, and I smile back.

  Deklan looks over at Della. “You guys should let us babysit before the baby comes. To see if we need classes or something.” Everybody laughs.

  Tommy jumps on the offer. “Done, and done.”

  After the steaks and burgers are eaten, Tag shows up. He holds out his hands as he walks to the table. “Sorry, guys. Give me a few days to move my shit and she’ll be gone, I swear.”

  Fandy speaks up, “Yeah, well you just outed Dek and Ali’s love child. No way that bitch is gonna keep her trap shut.”

  Tag looks over at me and says, “Sorry guys.”

  Deklan shrugs. “It’s alright, Tag. It was going to come out.”

  Tommy adds, “Well now that you’re finally here let’s talk shop.”

  The guys all sit at the table, and Della nudges her head toward the house. I follow, still holding Conner, and walk into the kitchen. The walls are yellow and the cabinets white. Grey sparkly granite for counters and black hard wood floors. “Oh, Della. This is beautiful! Did you do it yourself?”

  She laughs and refills our iced teas. “No way. I had a guy, the one who has that show? He came in and did it all. I just told him what I wanted. I can get you a number when you’re ready.”

  I love the house, but I would only have one room in my condo to do. I don’t think I would need to remodel anything, just paint and move furniture. I nod anyway, and we make our way to the living room that has butter yellow leather couches and a huge flat screen television. She reaches for the baby so I reluctantly hand him over. She notices and smiles. “They’re addictive, aren’t they?”

  “I feel like my arms are empty,” I explain.

  “It will be so great to have another mom in the band. I’m so used to all of the Kaylas, or in Deklan’s case, no one.”

  “So, he never brought girls around? I thought he was just private with the media.” I had been wondering about this.

  Della shakes her head. “No, nobody has ever been around me at least. I know he would have one night stands or affairs, whatever you want to call them. But it was one night and gone, as far as I know. He would always tell me he would know it when he found it.” She smiles. “That’s you, by the way.”

  I take a deep breath. “I’ve been trying not to get too deep too fast. But he’s like a magnet or something. He’s been living at my house for a few days, now. Doesn’t go home as far as I know.”

  She nods her head. “Nola says it was like that with her and Bill, too. They had an instant connection, and that was it. Got married in three months. At least you’ve known each other longer than that. You’re ahead of the game.”

  “I think that the fact that he wants to raise this baby together is a huge indication of where he sees us going. I just want to make sure we don’t skip over any steps.”

  “I'd put money on him calling that realtor’s number I gave him. And don’t be surprised when he wants you to pick a house.”

  I take a deep breath in through my nose. How did I feel about buying a house? Moving in with him? I had no idea.

  Just then, Nola comes down the stairs. “Dakoda is down. That girl can wear me out, but she’s good practice for the grandbaby. I just can’t wait.” She plops down in a chair and looks at each of us. “What were you talking about?”

  Della speaks up. “About Deklan buying a house here and expecting Ali to live in it with him… in the same bed.”

  “Della!” I yell.

  Nola laughs and waves it off. “Oh honey, that’s how the Thomas men are. Bill met me at a community dance when I was twenty-two. A week later he had all of my stuff in his apartment, and a few months after that, we were married. They know what they want and know it when they see it. You feel it, too. Don’t be lying to yourself, either.”

  I don’t know how to respond, so I just smile and shrug. They laugh, then Conner wakes up for a feeding so Nola and I leave Della to take care of it. We go back outside to the guys talking about a benefit concert they were invited to perform at. From the guys talking I can tell it's in Las Vegas, there are multiple acts, and it's for a charity that helps struggling school systems put instruments in the classrooms. They talk about the logistics of getting their crew together in time, and who needs to be called.

  Shortly after they finish, we decide to make the trip back home. Saturday night traffic in L.A. isn’t pretty, so we want to get on the road. Everyone gives hugs, and we make plans to do it again. I fall asleep on the ride back and wake up to Deklan opening my door.

  “We’re home, baby. Do you want me to carry you in?”

  I shake my head and get out of the car. We made it back in two hours, which could have been much worse.

  After getting into bed, we turn to face each other, with our heads close together. “So you always wanted horses, huh?”

  He shrugs a shoulder. “When I was little. Once I grew up, I kind of realized you can’t get that in L.A.”

  We smile at each other. “Yeah, but now you know where you can have some. If you wanted it.”

  He smirks. “How do you feel about horses, Ali?”

  I shrug. “Some are pretty. I think they’re peaceful. I’ve never ridden one or anything.”

  “Would you want to, after the baby?”

  I shrug again. “Sure.”

  “Would you want to look at a house out there? It’s a little far from work for you.”

  “I think if you were serious about us getting a house there together, as a family, then I would go part-time and hire a nanny like we’ve been saying. It’s all a lot of ifs though. Let’s just see if you still like horses tomorrow.”

  Deklan laughs. “Fair enough.” He gathers me to him as I yawn and wraps his arms around me. With my head on his shoulder, I fall asleep.

  Chapter 28

  We wake up at dawn, which I learn is around six o’clock. Who gets up this early on purpose? Not me. Deklan did, though. He’s hoppy, excited. Almost bouncing off of the walls. We do yoga to the sunrise—which I admit is pretty cool—but even that doesn’t distract him from this fair. By the time we shower and I put on some brown cowboy boots, jeans, and a gold razorback tank with a loose white razorback over it that has gold embroidery around the neck, he’s pacing the door.

  In the car I put on my brown aviators. Deklan hands me a smoothie, then takes his coffee cup. I look over at him, and he’s dressed in his casual look of black short sleeve shirt with jeans, but this time it’s paired with black cowboy boots. His knee is bouncing.

  I lean over and put my hand on his thigh. “You know you can’t buy anything, right? There’s nowhere to put it.”

  He squeezes my hand and leaves them both on his leg. “I know. I just remember how much fun it was. Back before the band, before anything, riding was a release.”

  “Well, I hope you get to do it again, since it means that much to you.”

  He looks over and smiles at me.

  When we get to the fairgrounds, we park in a field and walk up holding hands. Once we’re in the gate, we read the itinerary.

  “Looks like horses are first. Let’s go to the stalls,” he suggests.

  We head over to the far right. There are people walking horses everywhere and horse trai
lers lined up in rows. We walk into the first building which is one long row of stalls. Staying to the side and out of the way, we see people grooming horses, saddling them, braiding manes and putting on bridles. I hear an Irish accent across the hall from where we are and tug Deklan that way. There’s an old couple in the stall with a beautiful black and white horse that towers over them, though it’s back only goes to about Deklan’s shoulder. Its coat is shiny in the dimly lit hall. An old woman is on a step stool unbraiding the horse's mane while the man is holding the stool steady.

  The couple are both ancient and stooped. They’re talking to a pair of men on the outside of the stall, and all have Irish accents. “...in our wee village the cobs used to pull the milk carts. Down by Hammic, we were,” the old woman says as she undoes a lock of hair to fall at the horse’s hooves. Then she moves on to the next lock.

  “Oh, aye! We’ve driven through Hammic a time or two ourselves. Little dot on a hill it is. Jonny and I are from up north more, where the cobs pulled the sleighs in the winter. Wasn’t Christmas without 'em! Me, da had two and t'was a good business in the lean months,” one of the men says.

  The old man turns around and exclaims, “Oh, bless ya. The sleighs! We haven’t been able to get anything hooked up in so long for a ride. This is our last show, you know. It’s time we pack it in. We’ll be sad to see it go, that’s for certain it is.”

  The guy turns to his friend, and they whisper back and forth for a minute before Jonny turns and asks, “Did you be needing some help? We’re familiar with the cobs, know how to groom and whatnot. Did you have someone to take him out in the ring for you?”

  The old woman stops trying to undo the hair tie on the end of a braid with her shaking hands and starts climbing down. She walks over to the stall door and slides it open. “Oh, ye both be darlins! I thought we had one more go in us, but me hands don’t work the way they should now days.”

  The guy gently shakes her hand and says, “The name’s Sean, and this here's Jonny. We’d be delighted to help you with your fine beasties here.”

  The old man moves the step stool out of the stall, and the young men walk in and shut the door.

  The old man notices us first. “Oh, what do we have here? Hettie look at this, we’ve admirers of our Sonny boy!” He smiles and his wrinkles get wrinkles, squishing his face up and shutting his eyes. He sticks out a hand to me and introduces himself. “The name be Mickey, darling. As fine as you are yourself, you should be knowin' me name.”

  I smile back warmly and shake his hand saying, “Ali, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Your horse is beautiful, and I love your accents.”

  Deklan takes his hand next and shakes it, saying, “Deklan, sir.”

  Hettie pushes her husband out of the way to get to Deklan. She shakes his hand then wraps her hands around his forearm leading him away to another stall. “Oh, a fine man you are. So big and strong. Come take a look at this beauty over here and leave the beastie to your girl.”

  Deklan puts his hand over hers and smiles down at her. They walk at a snail’s pace as they make their way to the next stall. Mickey and I follow behind, and I see a white-faced horse with black hair and a grey body.

  “Oh, she’s beautiful,” I say to Mickey.

  He pats my hand and tells me, “That there’s our Cher. We’re hoping to make a Chaz this year, God be willing.”

  “Oh my gosh, I bet the babies are too cute!”

  Hettie turns to me. “You’d be right about that, lovey. We try to keep things young around us. Keeps our spirits up, it does.”

  Deklan asks, “Do you need help with anything else? Since you have more than one, is there anything we can do for you?”

  Hettie turns eyes to Mickey and says, “Well bless us this day, Mickey O’Brien. The fates be shining on us with all these young people willin' to give us their time!” She turns back to Deklan and looks way way up at him. “You go talk to Jonny, and split 'em since they know what they be doin' with the cobs. They’ll show you the way.”

  I smile at her and say, “Thank you for letting us help you. Deklan loved horses as a child and hasn’t been around them in a long time.”

  Mickey lets go of me and pulls Hettie over to two folding chairs outside of Sonny’s stall. “Over here, Hettie girl. Let us sit down and enjoy this fine morn while the young commune together.”

  They slowly lower themselves into the chairs and hold hands while looking up and down the aisle and talking quietly together. I walk up to Deklan and whisper to him, “I wanna be like them when I grow up.”

  He smiles and kisses my forehead before whispering back, “Me, too.”

  We turn to the young men that have unbraided everything but the hair in the front of the horse’s eyes. There’s hair everywhere. Deklan tells them what Mickey said and Jonny goes to Cher’s stall to get her ready.

  “That is a mass of hair,” I say. The black and white hair is flowing down his legs.

  “He is a beaut, this one is! Name’s Sean. I don’t think we got introduced.”

  I shake his hand. “Oh, I’m Ali.”

  He waves that away. “Oh, we know who you are. Your man too. If I didn’t have me Jonny, I’d have fought him to go over there and teach Deklan Thomas about horses.” He laughs. When I first saw him I wouldn't have said he was an attractive man. But when he laughs, his eyes light up a beautiful mix of brown and green. Sean is a shorter guy, probably twenty, with shiny dark hair. His nose and chin are pointed, giving him a youthful look.

  It takes me a second to get over the fact that he knows who I am, along with Deklan. “Sorry, I’m just not used to being recognized yet. Thank you for not freaking out, though.”

  Sean moves on to the front while saying, “Oh, we know what it’s like to be stared at. Don’t you worry, we’ll not be screaming in your ear.” The boys look so young, it didn't occur to me that they were anything but brothers.

  ‘‘Thank you,” I tell him sincerely, then think to ask, “So, what kind of horses are these? Dek is the one with knowledge, at least he knows how to ride. I’ve never been around them.”

  “This here is an Irish cob, or you American’s call them Gypsy Vanners. They used to be Romany draft horses in the days of old. Now they’re a novelty of sorts.”

  I look down Sonny’s legs and see that he has white hair covering all four hooves that turns to black at the knees, then back to white up the leg. “So, he’s like a mini Clydesdale?” I ask him.

  “Exactly right you are, Miss Ali! Exactly right!”

  “So can you ride them, or do they just pull buggies and stuff?”

  “Oh yes, you can ride! English and western. These horses here have had quality handling. You can tell by the shine of the coat and how long the mane is. Not many can keep it from breaking off.” He finishes unbraiding and moves it out of the horse’s eyes and to the side of his ear, tucking it into the halter so it stays out of the way. The front goes down past his mouth.

  “Deklan wants horses, I think. I wouldn’t know the first thing.” I roll my eyes at myself.

  Sean says, “Well that’s why you have help. Just like these good people should have here with them. They know what they’re doin'. We’re hoping, Jonny and I, that we can get on this train back to the barn with these folks. It’s the whole reason we came today. It’s hard finding jobs out here when not many people can understand the accent ya have and your trade.”

  “That’s a great idea! And you have experience, too. I bet they let you.” I try to encourage him.

  “Here’s to hoping, girlie.”

  After we get the tail unbraided, I ask, “Why don’t you use combs or brushes?”

  He lifts his head to me and instructs, “Never use a comb. That’s what all the knobby knees out there are doin', and the hair isn’t long at all. It breaks off. When it’s this long the strain on the hair is a lot. Pulling on it will snap it fast, to be sure.”

  Hmm. You learn something new every day, and I was learning a whole bunch. Sean changes out the n
ylon halter for a showy leather one then calls out. “Aye, we’re right set to go here. Anything else you’ll be needing now, Mrs. Hettie?”

  Hettie and Mickey stand up just as Jonny says he’s set to go too. Hettie opens the stall door and Sean and I exit so that she can bring Sonny out. He may be a pony, but next to her he looks like a Clydesdale. She’s even shorter than I am. “What a beautiful job you’ve done, wee Sean. And I thank ye. Ye made quick work of it, that’s for certain.”

  Deklan comes out and stands next to me, opposite the stalls, and we see both horses side by side for the first time. Jonny asks them, “Will you be needing us for anything else, Mr. O’Brien? Would you like us to walk in with you?”

  Mickey scoffs, “Oh, we’ve been doing this for longer than you’ve been alive me boy. We can take it from here. You go get your seats and watch us show these bairns how it’s done.”

  All of us tell them good luck and leave reluctantly. There’s a lot of traffic, and I think we’re all worried about how they’ll navigate such powerful animals with such frail bodies through the crush. By unspoken agreement we stand to the side of the big barn to wait for the O’Briens and follow behind to make sure nothing happens.

  Both horses are incredibly beautiful. Powerful, but mindful of their handlers and are so gentle it makes me want one of my own. After they make it to the ring two buildings down and are in line with the rest of the Gypsy Vanners, Jonny nudges us to the bleachers. We all sit down, Deklan on my right and Jonny to my left, with Sean next to him.

  Jonny says, “They’re the best lot here, to be sure.”

  Sean nods in agreement. “Best looking beasties. Sad this is their last show.”

  Deklan says, “Maybe you guys can get together with them and be their handlers?”

  Jonny nods his head enthusiastically. “Aye, we’d love to do this for a living, that’s for sure. We’ll be sure to talk to them about that directly.”

  Just then the show starts and the O’Brien’s come out along with about twenty others. There’s a lot of running for the old couple to show the horses trot, then it’s one horse and one handler standing in the middle of the arena. They face each other, and when it’s Mickey’s turn to face Sonny, Sonny is already hopping on his front legs.