Journey's End

by Josephine Cox

  Eager for peace of mind, Lucy nodded. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ she conceded hesitantly. ‘Maybe it would have come out sooner or later.’

  ‘Are you ready to face her tonight?’

  Lucy nodded. ‘Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.’

  Early that evening, the car was out and as he arrived Lucy was waiting at the door, looking smart and sophisticated in her high-necked cream-coloured jumper and skirt, with a coffee-coloured winter coat and dark shoes. Her greying hair was swept up in a loop of straying curls that framed her face, and she carried her best silver-topped stick; though she half-hid it in the folds of her coat. Even now she had a reluctance to show her slight handicap.

  ‘You look lovely as ever,’ Adam commented as he held open the door for her to climb into the back. Whenever he saw her, morning, noon or night, it was always the same; his old heart would leap to his throat and he had to stop himself from taking her in his arms.

  As they travelled through the country roads towards Bedford town and the railway station, Lucy wondered aloud, ‘What will she look like, do you think?’

  Adam glanced at her in the mirror. ‘I’m sure I don’t know,’ he answered. ‘She was lovely as a young woman, but not everybody stays as handsome as you.’

  Lucy laughed. ‘You old flatterer,’ she said. ‘Truly though, Adam, do you think we’ll recognise her?’

  ‘Don’t know. Can’t say.’

  ‘Do you think she’ll recognise me?’

  ‘I think so. Your hair’s a little greyer, you’re slower of foot, and we all know you’re not the young thing you once were, but then none of us is – Vicky included.’

  Lucy had to smile. ‘Well, thank you. Is that supposed to make me feel better?’

  Adam made no apology. ‘All that aside,’ he said, ‘you’re still so vibrant and your features haven’t changed all that much. You have the same slim figure and those wonderful, smiling eyes. I think she would have to be looking in the opposite direction not to recognise the Lucy Baker we all know and love.’

  For the remainder of the journey, Lucy fell silent, with Adam frequently glancing in his rear-view mirror to make sure she was all right.

  When at last they arrived at the station, he pulled up as near to the entrance as he could. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

  Lucy thanked him. ‘Yes, I’d like that, Adam. But try if you can to keep a discreet distance when the train arrives. I don’t want her to think we’re there in force.’

  Adam understood. ‘Trust me,’ he said. ‘You won’t even know I’m around. But if you want me, I’ll be only a heartbeat away.’

  Lucy gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. ‘What would I do without you, eh?’ Adam was always there when she needed someone to share her fears and dreams. More and more she had come to rely on him. And today was particularly unnerving, for she was about to meet Vicky again for the first time in many years; Vicky, the beautiful person whom Barney adored above all others, and who had been cruelly robbed of her chance to say goodbye to him. Vicky, who had welcomed young Lucy and her little Jamie into the very heart of her family, and shown them both nothing but kindness.

  Adam was still pondering on her remark. ‘What would you do without me, eh?’ he mused aloud. ‘Let me think now.’ Feigning a frown, he told her, ‘You’d have to find a careful new driver for a start. Then there’d be no one to fetch and carry for you, or collect your orders from the shops when you don’t feel like being in a crowd. You’d have no one to boss about or moan and grumble at, and when you feel lonely, there’ll be no one there to hold your hand.’

  Lucy laughed. ‘I’ve always got Mary.’

  ‘Ah, but it’s not the same. Think about it,’ he urged. ‘Here you have a big handsome man ready to answer your every call; a man who’s besotted with you, ready to marry you at the drop of a hat, and on top of all that, he can make the best hot cocoa that’s ever passed your lovely lips.’

  ‘You’re incorrigible,’ Lucy chided.

  ‘But you love me, don’t you?’

  ‘ ’Course I do.’

  ‘But not enough to marry me?’

  ‘Behave yourself. Go and park the car, and I’ll get the platform tickets.’

  ‘Only if you say you’ll think about letting me put a ring on your finger.’

  ‘Go on with you!’ Dismissing him with a wave of her hand, she walked away, the merest of smiles curving her mouth at the corners. She had long thought he would make a wonderful husband, though it would never do to tell him that.

  One day he’ll wear me down, she thought. One fine day, he’ll ask me and I just might say yes.

  But she couldn’t see that day in sight for a very long time. Maybe never.

  Waiting for Vicky’s train to arrive from London was nerve-racking. Lucy had lost count of the number of times she had walked the entire length of the platform, looking this way, looking that way, shivering in the bitter cold and beginning to despair. ‘Will the blessed train ever arrive?’ she asked Adam. ‘Maybe Vicky’s changed her mind. Maybe she’s decided not to come after all.’

  Adam was more concerned about Lucy. ‘Don’t panic. The train isn’t even due to arrive for another half hour,’ he reminded her. ‘Look! I want you to come along to the café and get a hot drink down you. It’s perishing cold out here.’

  ‘But what if we miss the train arriving? If we’re not here waiting for her, she won’t know what to do.’

  ‘Listen to yourself,’ he advised. ‘We won’t miss the train arriving, and even if we did, she’s a grown woman, intelligent enough to get a taxi. She has your telephone number and address. So come on now, Lucy.’ He gently cupped the palm of his hand beneath her elbow. ‘Ten minutes, that’s all, to get you warmed up and comfortable. I don’t want you catching pneumonia.’

  ‘Stop fussing, Adam!’ Shaking him away, Lucy was adamant. ‘I’m perfectly all right. You go if you like, but I’m not moving.’

  Adam knew from old that once her mind was made up, there’d be no shifting her. ‘I only wish Mary was here,’ he grumbled. ‘She’d make you go inside, and no mistake.’

  Lucy shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t listen to Mary, any more than I’m listening to you,’ she replied haughtily. ‘I’m here to meet an old friend who’s travelled many miles, all the way from America. I will not have her arriving in a strange place, all alone and me not there to greet her.’

  All the same, at that moment in time she wished she was any place but here. Vicky had been robbed of precious time with Barney, while she herself had earned a measure of his love, and had even borne him a child. How would Vicky react to that? What would she think? Was she bitter? Did she blame Barney? Did she blame her? Lucy was so frantic, it was all she could do to restrain herself from turning tail and fleeing from the station.

  Adam’s voice resonated in her ear. ‘Lucy Baker, will you stop fretting! Lord help me, I love you more with every day that passes. You’re the most caring, considerate, aggravating woman I’ve ever come across.’

  ‘And you’re beginning to get on my nerves.’

  ‘Let me bring you a hot drink then, and I’ll not say another word – unless, of course, you want me to?’

  ‘I don’t want you to. But I’d very much appreciate that hot drink. Honestly, Adam, I can’t imagine why you didn’t think of it before, instead of causing such an almighty fuss about me leaving the platform!’

  While Adam went to get the drinks, Lucy’s anxious gaze scanned the far-off track, hoping to see the train as it appeared down the line. ‘What will I say?’ she fretted. ‘How will I greet her? We were close at one time, but it’s been so long, I don’t know how it will all turn out.’

  Her nerves were jangling. In her mind she could see the old Vicky, pretty as a picture and lovely in nature. But what was she like now? Had she hardened over the years? Had she turned cold and resentful because of the shocking way her idyllic marriage had come to an end?

  And what of the letter that had ended her present ma
rriage? It was Lucy herself who had written it, and now she was beginning to regret it deeply. Maybe Adam was right after all. Maybe she should have let sleeping dogs lie.

  Suddenly the shrill tones of the announcer came out of the loudspeaker: ‘The ten forty-five from London St Pancras will be arriving at Platform Two in precisely ten minutes. There are no delays.’

  On board the approaching train, a similar announcement was given over the air.

  ‘Ten minutes!’ Vicky had grown more nervous with every passing mile. With only two other passengers in her compartment, she had found a seat next to the window, and managed to collect her thoughts.

  She had never been one for travelling. In all of her life she had only ever made two long journeys; the first had taken her away from everything she had ever known. The second was bringing her back.

  At least when she sailed away from Liverpool, she had believed Barney to be alive and well, although it had come as a terrible shock to learn of his death, a mere three years later. Doctor Lucas had relayed the news to Leonard, who in turn gently told her and the children. Yet part of her, a very deep part was not surprised. How could her beloved Barney survive without her love, and without the love of his children? God knew, it had nearly killed her to be without him, and look at the effect on their three children.

  She glanced out of the window at the darkening rural landscape. Nothing here was familiar, though the patchwork of fields and the occasional spinney reminded her of the fields up North where she had worked alongside Barney. This area of Bedfordshire should have been meaningless to her, but it was important now, because this was where her husband had spent his last days, with Lucy, and their daughter, Mary.

  She was not surprised that Barney had turned to Lucy, for the latter was not only a lovely-natured person, but she had been a close friend of the family, and like all of them, Barney had a soft spot for her. But for Lucy and Barney to become lovers and conceive a child? That would never have crossed her mind in a million years. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

  Yet for all that, she looked forward to seeing her, and strangely, she also looked forward to meeting Barney’s other daughter. She wondered if Mary had a look of him, and if so, she would have a look of Susie, because Barney’s first daughter was more like him in appearance than any of his other children.

  Thinking about her children brought a degree of pain to Vicky. When she needed them most, they had not been ready to forgive.

  Unable to deal with it for now, she closed her mind to them and forced herself to remember the days when she was with Barney, happy, carefree days which would never come again. It made her heart sore to think they had gone forever, but gone they were.

  Her fretful thoughts were submerged into the rhythm of the train wheels as they hurried along the track … Clackety-clack, marches the army, clackety-clack, I love you Barney. The sound of iron against iron merged with the hiss of steam and somehow it became a song in her heart, and the song created in her a soothing sensation.

  Lucy was grateful for the cup of tea in a thick white mug that Adam had brought. ‘Did you water the plants on your way here?’ she quipped, staring into the cup. ‘It’s half-empty.’

  ‘An accident,’ Adam told her sheepishly. ‘There were people pushing and shoving at the ticket-desk. I dodged past them, trying my best to keep out of their way …’ He rolled his eyes. ‘The truth is, this infant ran in front of me and I tripped over. But I managed to keep hold of the cups.’

  Lucy was at once sympathetic. ‘Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?’

  ‘No.’ Having given Lucy one cup, Adam placed his own on the bench and brushed himself down. ‘There was help at hand.’

  He pointed to a child now climbing onto a platform bench, and with him was a woman the size of a ten-ton truck, arms like a navvy and a turban wrapped round her hair, tied so tight her eyes seemed to pop out. ‘She picked me up,’ he said with some embarrassment.

  Just then the woman turned round and gave him a wonky smile. Adam smiled back, his face bright red as he frantically brushed the dirt and dust from his best trousers.

  ‘That woman there? She was the one who picked you up?’ Lucy’s face crumpled. ‘Her unruly infant knocked you down, and she picked you up?’ In her mind she had this hilarious image of the elegant Adam going flying across the floor, arms in the air, and that enormous person who looked more like an all-in wrestler than a woman, manhandling him as he fought to keep the cups upright.

  It was all too much. The laughter sparkled in her eyes and then Adam was giggling, and now as the woman sat herself on the bench, legs apart and bloomers showing, Lucy quickly had to walk to the waiting room where she erupted in a fit of laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  After a time, she managed to compose herself and return to Adam. ‘I would have given anything to see it,’ she told him.

  ‘You’re a wicked woman,’ he told her, still laughing at himself, and she gave him a kiss for being so entertaining.

  Now, as the train-whistle blew, Lucy’s mind was focused once more on Vicky. ‘It’s here,’ she told Adam excitedly. ‘The train’s here!’

  Standing their cups beside a bench, the two of them moved closer to the edge of the night-dark platform, where the train was already beginning to pull in.

  As it chugged to a halt, the steam rose and all the doors opened. People spilled out and it was hard to distinguish them through the billowing clouds. ‘Where is she?’ Lucy strained her eyes, searching for Vicky. ‘Oh Adam, what if she changed her mind at the last minute?’

  Philosophical as ever, Adam calmed her fears. ‘If she has, then there is nothing we can do about it.’

  People thronged past and soon there was no one left. The station seemed suddenly eerie.

  ‘Look there!’ Adam pointed to the figure climbing out of the train. ‘Is that her, do you think?’

  They watched as the passenger stepped down to the platform. As the slim figure of a woman came out of the night, it was like watching a ghost materialising from the past.

  ‘It must be her.’ Lucy’s heart was in her mouth. ‘It has to be Vicky Davidson.’

  Chapter 14

  FEELING ANXIOUS NOW that her journey from Boston to Salford was over, Vicky had lingered on the train a moment longer. She still harboured a measure of resentment towards Lucy, because if she had not sent the letter, then everything would have stayed the same. Now though, her life had changed and there was no going back, and it was a shattering thing.

  Pulling herself together, she gathered up her suitcase and got off the train. In the chill night air she caught a glimpse of them, Adam and Lucy, waiting for her as they had promised. She could not mistake them, for those familiar features – though now older like her own – were etched in her memories of the past.

  As she walked towards them it was almost as though she had turned back the years and that somewhere nearby, Barney would be waiting to take her in his arms and hold her as before. But no! That wasn’t to be. Her heart was like a lead weight inside her. It was all too much … too much! She gave an involuntary sob. Never again would Barney embrace her, his heartbeat close to hers.

  From the other end of the platform, Lucy watched her approach. Strange, she thought, how she knew it was Vicky straight off. The walk was the same, the petite figure and the way of holding herself – that was the Vicky she knew and remembered.

  As Vicky came closer, she passed beneath a platform lamp, and Lucy could see the tears glinting in her old friend’s eyes. Her heart leaped, and when she turned round to speak to Adam, he was gone. She glanced about, and there he was, standing over by the gate, sending her strength, sending her love, watching over her like a guardian angel.

  Now Vicky was standing before her, and the emotions that ran through Lucy were overwhelming. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ she said, choked.

  Vicky did not – could not – answer. Instead, she stood motionless, her suitcase still clutched in her hand, tears rolling freely down her
face as she began to realise at last that she was here, in the company of someone who had been part of her, part of Barney and the family. ‘Lucy.’ Her voice broke. ‘My God, it’s Lucy Baker.’

  The two widows fell into each other’s open arms.

  All those long years between, from that fateful day when Vicky and the children sailed away, to this, long-awaited moment, were as nothing now.

  When the embraces were over there remained a certain awkwardness. ‘There are so many questions,’ Vicky said huskily. ‘So much I need to know.’

  Lucy nodded. ‘I understand.’ Of course there would be questions, about herself and Barney, about how it was between them. Questions asking why Lucy had not told her earlier; why now, after all this time?

  The prospect of all those questions made Lucy deep-down nervous.

  But so too was Vicky, who walked beside Lucy as they made for where Adam waited. By then, they were chatting and smiling, but he sensed the undercurrent between them, and wondered if too much had happened for them ever to be friends again.

  ‘Hello, Vicky, my love,’ he said warmly, and his arms opened and she went to him.

  ‘It’s so good to see you again,’ she said, and the barriers between them were no more.

  They talked for a few moments, and then they were in the car, driving back to Knudsden House. ‘You might want to rest and freshen up before dinner,’ Lucy offered. ‘I’ve organised it for eight thirty. You’ll meet Ben and Mary then.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to that very much.’ Vicky was anxious about the meeting with Mary, but curious all the same. However, before that, there was something else she must do. With no further ado she blurted out: ‘Will you take me to see where Barney is?’

  Lucy had half-expected this to be Vicky’s first request. ‘I’ve already arranged it with Adam,’ she explained. ‘The churchyard is too far to walk from the house, yet it’s only a matter of ten minutes in the car. First though, I thought you might like to catch your breath, offload your suitcase and give us a chance to talk. I thought tomorrow morning might be a good time to go there, but we’ll go straight to Barney, if that’s what you prefer?’