The Other C-Word

by Schiller, MK

  Mr Henley emphasised that Rick had a reputation for turning companies like ours around and to cement his words, he provided examples of Rick’s past endeavours. I had to admit they were impressive. Rick had worked for small companies like ours to major conglomerates. He’d even worked for a few foreign governments’ travel bureaus. Mr Henley expressed we should all do whatever was necessary in helping Rick achieve the goals outlined to make our company more efficient and profitable. Rick gave a small speech too. I noticed most of the women were holding onto his every word. He had this deep, but soft tempo in his voice that made him sound both compassionate and commanding at the same time.

  I headed back to my desk, which was still outside my old boss’ office. My current work location was a deserted island where I was the only inhabitant. Ronald Bellman, my old boss, had a huge office. It even had one of those fake inside windows with blinds that added more light. My desk was right outside in what would constitute a reception area. An outer door separated me from my co-workers.

  I was glad Mr Bellman was gone, since he’d been kind of a jerk and expected my job should include running his personal errands and calling his wife to make excuses when he’d wanted to go out with his girlfriend. I’d fetched his coffee and run his errands, but I’d drawn the line at calling his wife. Still, it was strange having no one else in my little cocoon of an office. It wasn’t that I talked to my co-workers that much, but the absence of people made me lonely.

  At least I could listen to my radio. I scrolled through my iPod and settled on Monday Morning, by Fleetwood Mac. It seemed fitting.

  My best friend Dillon McKay came through the outer office door, grinning wildly at me. He pulled a chair up to my desk. “You’re dressed up today.”

  “Yeah, Stevie strikes again.”

  Dillon nodded approvingly. If Stevie was a fashion plate, Dillon was a fashion platter. He was skinny and tall, but he always dressed well. He was wearing a Dolce and Gabbana style paisley shirt and hip-hugging, black dress pants. We were a casual office, but Dillon always looked crisp, in my opinion. I mean, not a lot of guys could pull off purple paisleys, but Dillon did.

  “Ready for lunch?”

  “Yeah, I just have to email this report,” I replied.

  Dillon proceeded to re-arrange my office supplies while I checked my emails. Dillon was obsessive compulsive. The infliction didn’t completely rule his life as it did with some people, but he’d been much worse before he’d conceded to medication. These days, he mainly re-organised things. His own stuff was so perfect he had to concentrate on other people’s objects, which had resulted in his ostracism by many of our co-workers. Some people could be pretty picky about their stuff. I didn’t mind. I loved Dillon. We understood and accepted each other’s imperfections. We were more than just friends—Dillon was like a brother to me, and my family had practically adopted him. Last month, my mother had actually said to him, “I have three daughters and now with you I have everything I could ever want.”

  Dillon had responded, grinning wildly. “What’s that? A son?”

  “No…a gay son,” my mom had replied, hugging him. Dillon fitted into my non-traditional family perfectly, but his own parents had a hard time with his OCD and what they called his ‘life choices’.

  “So, he’s pretty fucking hot, huh?” Leave it to Dillon to start right in. I knew he was referring to Rick…a subject he’d been angling to talk to me about since the morning meeting.

  I shrugged. “He’s okay. He’s kind of arrogant.”

  “Come on, Marley, you were alone in a car with him. Give me some good dish.”

  I rolled my eyes. Dillon was practically panting as he wiped off some crumbs on the corner of my desk. “I know as much as you do. We just talked about the company. Mr Henley made him sound like Superman or something.” I didn’t think it would be right to reveal the few personal things I knew about Rick Randy…namely that his parents were deceased.

  “I don’t know about Superman, but I bet he’s a boy wonder down under. You think he might be bi?”

  “Okay, first I have no idea what kind of appendage he might be carrying. And second, I doubt he uses it on men.”

  “Did you flirt with him? I mean, God, he’s gorgeous.”

  “No, but he kind of flirted with me, I think.”

  “Oh, now that’s dish. How can you be so blasé? Don’t you think he’s hot? Come on, Marley, he looks like Chris Pine, and I know you crush on Chris Pine just like I do.”

  I thought about this for a second and had to agree with Dillon. Rick did have a similar resemblance to the hottie that played Captain Kirk. “I didn’t notice. I just think of him as the dick that’s going to fire my ass,” I said giggling.

  Dillon giggled with me. “Is that what we’re calling him? Rick the dick? Or how about just…big dick?” I shot him a cynical glance, but Dillon’s chocolate brown eyes just gleamed. “Come on, Marley, you can’t even admit he’s hot?”

  “Okay, he’s hot. He’s that guy who’s hot and knows it.”

  “Yeah, well he’d have to be mentally impaired or have an aversion to mirrors not to know it. He’s not just hot, he’s like hot sex on legs.”

  “Dillon!” I chided, but he just laughed.

  “I mean, sure he’s going to fire all our asses, but you have to admit it. Even his name exudes sexuality…Richard Randy.” Dillon had this faraway look in his eyes he got when he talked about hot guys. I felt bad that as his best friend I could only reply by making a gagging noise.

  “I guess.” I bit down on my pencil, a telltale habit that I was thinking very hard. Dillon cocked a well-groomed eyebrow at me. “Dillon, do you know the meaning of randy?”

  He smirked. “Of course, I do. That’s why I said that about his name. What, you don’t?”

  I hesitantly relayed the airport debacle to Dillon. Then I stared, incensed, as Dillon proceeded to howl with laughter, putting even the TSA agent’s chortles to shame. I had to tell him to be quiet several times, so people didn’t think I was in a closed-off office, tickling him to death.

  “Oh, that’s precious, Marley,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye. Was it really that funny?

  My office phone rang, interrupting Dillon’s rambunctious antics, and I was thankful for the break. The temporary relief was short-lived when Kathy Carver—in a brusque and miraculously cough-free voice—requested my presence in Mr Henley’s office. Dillon sensed the shift in my expression and smiled sympathetically at me.

  “I got the call. I guess they decided not to wait for payday.” I tried to keep the smile pasted on my face for Dillon’s sake.

  “I’m sorry, kid.”

  I didn’t know why Dillon called me ‘kid’ when we were close to the same age, but I’d always liked it. “It’s okay, at least I’m prepared.” I kicked the cardboard box below my desk that contained all my personal effects. I’d packed it the day Mr Bellman had left.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll probably be following you in a few days myself. We can work the breadlines together.”

  I stood up and clasped his hands, realising that this might be the last time I talked to him at work. “Dillon, please, please, remember to take your pills at lunch. You know you can’t take them at night. Promise me.” I always made sure he took them, because I had seen him when he didn’t. The cleaning crew had threatened to quit because he’d followed behind them, pointing out spots of dust they’d missed. Although some people said it was cute, Dillon did have a disorder, and I knew he became antsy and nervous without his medication. One time, he’d re-arranged every drawer in his house for ten hours straight until he’d started crying.

  “I promise, Marley.”

  I brightened my smile not wanting either of us to start crying. “Gotta go, have to get fired now…or I guess, you would say…laid off.”

  “Yeah, not as good as getting laid on,” Dillon replied, faking his own smile. “I’ll come over tonight, and we’ll dish it out okay?”

  I nodded, blowing him a
kiss.

  I walked to Mr Henley’s office, which had an outer and inner office similar to Mr Bellman’s, but was larger. Kathy greeted me with a disdaining smile as her eyes travelled up and down my outfit, in what I assumed was an attempt to make me cower. It only made me stand up straighter. Kathy was one of those women who didn’t like other women. She was the kind of girl who couldn’t spare an occasional compliment or good-will gesture to another girl, but was extremely gracious towards the opposite sex. She was a beautiful woman with a dancer’s body, ebony hair, crystal blues eyes and flawless skin. Despite that, I’d always felt her insides were somewhat ugly. Kathy played up her looks with short skirts and tight tops. She was the kind of woman who would have a salaciously witty comeback when someone like Rick Randy noticed her garter belt. She fell into her gorgeousness gracefully, while I stumbled clumsily into the territory of passably pretty.

  “You’re dressed up,” she announced, as if I didn’t know this.

  I nodded absentmindedly. “I felt like dressing up.”

  “Or did you want to make a good impression…on Rick?” She gestured towards Mr Henley’s office window where Rick was sitting in a chair speaking to Mr Henley. My insides automatically clenched.

  I didn’t want to be fired in front of him. I’d accepted the idea of being laid off. I knew it wasn’t because I was a bad employee—I did my job well, and Mr Henley liked me. I was just in the wrong position at the wrong time. I understood that it only made sense that I should be the initial sacrifice in a long line of layoffs.

  All of my self-assurances about this moment were lost when I realised Rick would be a witness to my departure. I wanted a private moment to thank Mr Henley for all he had done and let him know I believed in the company. I sincerely hoped that Henley Inc would still survive. More than survive…thrive. It would prove difficult to vocalise my feelings in front of ‘Rick the Dick’.

  “I dressed up for myself Kathy, not that it matters,” I retorted, smoothing out my skirt.

  “You’re right. I doubt he had time to notice. I mean, you were running so late.”

  It was difficult not to smile smugly because Rick, in fact, had noticed my outfit, but there was no point in letting Kathy know that.

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Kathy. Those two-hour flu’s can be a real downer,” I said as I opened the office door.

  “We’ll miss you, Marley,” Kathy said in a cheery tone that completely contradicted her statement. Everyone knew I was going to be canned and with good reason. I was the girl plied with busywork, who lived in the secluded island office by herself. The office gossip factory was hard at work as usual.

  Mr Henley stood up from his desk, smiling brightly at me when I entered. It was a warm smile, which I returned in kind, despite my dread. “Marley, please sit.” He gestured to the empty seat next to Rick, who had also stood. I felt a new wave of nausea, wondering if Rick had shared my airport abduction story with Mr Henley. I couldn’t handle any more ridicule today.

  I sat, trying to avoid Rick’s intense gaze. He chuckled when I adjusted my skirt, but I ignored him.

  “Rick will be here for a few months and the work he’ll be doing is very intense.” I knew all this from the morning meeting, so I was wondering why Mr Henley was re-hashing it for me. “He’ll need help with the marketing plans, budgets, deciphering spreadsheets.” Just then, my stomach decided to growl. It was embarrassing, but I hadn’t eaten lunch and right then, even the Vegan chili in my lunchbox made my mouth water. “He’ll need an assistant and we both think you’ll be perfect.”

  I sat up in my chair so fast it hurt my spine a little. “You want me to be his assistant?” I asked wide-eyed.

  “Actually, Rick’s analytical skills are already paying off. It was his suggestion, and I couldn’t agree more. It will work out so well, since he’s taking Bellman’s old office anyway. You don’t even have to move your desk.” I had an inkling why Rick, or rather ‘Dick’, would want me to be his assistant, and I didn’t like it at all.

  “But, Mr Henley, I’m not sure I’m qualified for that.”

  “Marley, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, please call me David. I appreciate how respectful you are, but I really would prefer it.”

  I nodded, but knew I would find the request difficult. I liked to call him Mr Henley, maybe because he was older.

  “It seems like a perfect match in my estimation. You’ve done similar research and materials with Bellman, and Rick can bring you up to speed on anything he needs.”

  I felt an odd mismatch of emotions. I was grateful I wouldn’t be losing my job. I was terrified to be working with this gorgeous man for the next four months. I was irritated he was the one saving my job. I was nervous because of his mischievous smile and whatever plans he had for me.

  “Marley, if you’re not comfortable with the prospect of being my assistant, I’m sure we can find someone else. I just assumed you would be a good fit based on your background. I have a great deal of work to do. In fact, so much so, that there will be copious amounts of overtime,” Rick interjected, completely interrupting the gamut of emotions rushing through my head.

  I didn’t acknowledge him. Overtime? What is that code for? I wondered how to go about filing a sexual harassment complaint with HR. This was something I’d probably need to know fairly soon. I chanced a sidelong glance at Rick and sure enough, he smirked at me. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response. The truth was, I really did need my job. I lived at home, but I paid my mom rent and had a ton of student loan debt. Plus I wanted to get Stevie something special for her wedding. If it meant being uncomfortable and irritated for the following four months, working with the arrogant GQ model sitting next me, I could handle it. I’d just have to lay down some explicit ground rules and let him know I wasn’t the kind of girl who would spread her legs, no matter how shimmering his eyes were, or how perfect his sandy brown hair fell upon his face, or how cute the dimple on his cheek looked, or how soft his lips appeared. I restrained myself from continuing with the litany of his alluring features before I got to his body. Nope, I was not that kind of girl.

  I met his gaze with my own steely one and smiled brightly. “I’d be happy to work with you.”

  I exchanged a few more pleasantries with Rick and Mr Henley before I excused myself to go back to my desk. Kathy held out an empty cardboard box to me, smiling brightly. I shook my head. “Thanks for your concern, but I won’t be needing that,” I replied, relishing her look of dismay.

  I barely had time to text Dillon before Rick walked in with his bags. He stopped at my desk, and I forced myself to look up at him.

  “Can I help you?”

  He flashed me a mischievous smile. “I just wanted to say I’m glad we’ll be working together, Garter Belt Girl.”

  I clenched my fists, feeling the rage well up within me. “You can’t say stuff like that to me. This is a place of work and you have to be professional.”

  He feigned a look of contriteness, but I saw the smirk threatening to peer through. He coughed as if he was uncomfortable, but I knew it was an act. “Sorry… Ms Garter Belt Girl.” His statement was a blanket confirmation of my suspicions.

  “Are you insane? Do you think I’m going to be your office slut?”

  Rick’s expression quickly turned serious and apologetic. It didn’t fool me. He backed away, holding his hands out in some sort of calming gesture. “No, Marley, sorry about that. I guess you bring out my playful side. I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable and hope you’ll forgive my transgressions. We’ll have a completely professional relationship, I promise you.”

  “Why did you ask for me?” I bet Henley would have given up Kathy or any other assistant in this office to Rick.

  “Because you’re single and have no children.”

  I couldn’t believe he’d said it with a straight face. I stood up in a lame attempt to be intimidating, but being a foot shorter than Rick, even in Stevie’s Loubo
utins, I doubted I pulled it off.

  “What? You asked that? How is that supposed to speak of a professional relationship?”

  “Because it means you can work a lot of overtime.”

  “Ugh!” I sighed in frustration. “What is overtime code for?”

  His smirk returned, disarming me, but I retained the majority of my fury. Rick was thoughtful for a second then spoke very slowly, as if I were a small child. “Well, it means you work additional hours than the normal workweek and receive supplemental compensation as a result.”

  “Oh, you’re going to compensate me now? I’m not a whore.”

  Rick tugged at the knot on his tie, and I saw he was now truly uncomfortable. I also realised my voice was an octave too high and although a closed door separated us from the rest of the office, it would be best to calm down.

  “Marley, please let me explain. I seriously have a lot to accomplish in a short time. You said yourself you were a displaced employee so you seemed like a perfect fit. We are not going to replace Bellman as his position was somewhat redundant. I expressed to Henley I needed an assistant who was willing to stay late and typically that means someone who has fewer family obligations. I think you spoke very passionately about this company during the drive, and I want someone who speaks their mind. I also reviewed your résumé with Henley and noticed you have a good deal experience with spreadsheets, tabulations, charts and pivot tables. I will require all of these items to assess the needs of this company. If you feel uncomfortable with my playfulness, I apologise, and I’ll stop if you want me to. If you choose not to accept this assignment, I’ll completely understand that as well. You are an employee here, and I am a contractor, which means that you are not my direct employee. You will report into Henley, although I suppose, I am your acting boss. However, I have no direct influence on your raises, promotions or reviews. I believe there were a few moments where we had a strong camaraderie in the car, and I’d like to catalyst that into a sound working relationship, but if you don’t believe that’s the case, I completely understand.”