Severed Ties (Ties #2)

by J. L. Beck

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  The beeping started again, pulling me from my mind and reminding me that I couldn’t ignore this forever. I inhaled oxygen and held it in not releasing it till I slid my finger across the screen and brought the phone up to my ear.

  “About fucking time you answer the phone. I thought you were dead, dude.” Tuck’s voice was filled with excitement. Excitement that I just didn’t understand. He had to be aware of all that went down. If he wasn’t then he had to be hiding under a rock somewhere for the last couple of days.

  “Might as well be.” My voice was gruff. I sounded like a broken hearted fool, but wasn’t that the truth. I had lost two people that I loved, even after telling myself I would never love another after Stephanie’s death.

  He laughed loudly into the phone, “I know losing her was hard man…” There was a pause and then all I could hear was his breathing on the other end.

  “You don’t know…” I started.

  “I do know, and I don’t want to do this shit over the phone. Let’s meet somewhere?” he asked eagerly.

  I took a deep breath letting oxygen filter through my lungs. It had been days since I last stepped outside. I wasn’t ready for a fight with my ex-boss, even if I wanted to seek revenge as badly as I did. Ellie was gone and I needed to mourn her death. I needed to put her behind me until I was successful in my revenge, because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to her.

  “Yeah, that’s not really a good idea. I’m sure you know by now, but I…” I stumbled over my choice of words. “I basically told bossman he could rot in his fucking grave and that Drake would be the first fucker that’s going to die once I get my shit together.” My fist clenched so hard I could feel the bones in my knuckles cracking. I had never wanted to spill someone’s blood as much as I did Drake’s. The things he had done to my Ellie… I would make him pay a million times over. Death would be his only way out of my clutches.

  “Gray, I heard what went down. I was there, don’t you remember?” he questioned. My eyes narrowed as I worked through my memories. Right after they took Ellie away, my world shifted. Tuck had said he would help me get her back, but after that I hadn’t heard from him. He was lying to me, playing with my mind for his own benefit.

  “I may be a lot of things, but I'm not fucking stupid. You're lyin-” He interrupted me before I could finish my sentence.

  “Look. I got shit I need to explain, shit that I can’t do over the fucking phone. Therefore, I need you to meet somewhere. Somewhere discreet, and if you think I’m going to set you up or some stupid shit then you’re wrong. You’re my best friend, dude, and I have bigger fish to fry.”

  As much as I didn’t want to say it out loud, that had been my biggest fear since is answered the phone. I was worried that Tuck calling and wanting to meet up would end with him turning me over to Ellie’s father. Without a plan it would end in my own demise.

  “Are you still there, Gray? I need an answer now; will you meet me? Because otherwise, I’m coming wherever the hell it is that you’re holding yourself up at.” Fuck! There was no way he was coming here. Then I would have to explain what happened to the bathroom, and I wasn’t going there with him.

  “Meet me at the coffee shop down on third,” I hissed out between my teeth, pulling the phone away from my ear, and ending the call before I could even change my mind about going.

  I didn’t give Tuck a chance to change the place of meeting or give him a time. I knew he would know to get there as fast as he could. Walking over to the bathroom, my eyes flickered over the mess that I had made days ago. I had yet to clean it up and every time housekeeping came I turned them away.

  I was a walking, talking disaster. An evil man on a warpath with my own emotions. I had the potential to kill everything in my path, and I would in due time.

  There was no other options for me.

  I had to let the anger fuel my rage, to fester the fire, because if it didn’t I would become a cold shell of who I was. I would sit in this hotel room, destroying shit—

  destroying myself—slowly but surely, because I couldn’t handle the loss of those that mattered most to me.

  The loss of love.

  Looking down at my phone I realized I had been muttering and thinking to myself for over five minutes. If Tuck was as fast as he usually was, I would be fucking late. I hadn’t prepared to leave this hotel room, so I needed to find something to wear quickly.

  Walking over to my suitcase, I unzipped it and pulled out the first thing I saw-a pair of clean blue jeans and a gray sweater. After slipping into my clothes, I slid my feet into my black boots. I wasn’t much to look at, in fact I looked like a fucking mess right this second, but no one in that café had to know I spent the last few days drowning my sorrows at the bottom of countless bottles.

  My gaze flickered down to the homemade bandage that covered my hand. I was completely fucked up, but that didn’t mean I was ready to die yet. There was no way Tuck wouldn’t notice it and that meant that I would have to explain how the fuck it had happened. I didn’t want to explain anything to anyone. I wanted to talk without words. My fists would do more justice.

  Grabbing my wallet off the nightstand my eyes landed on the one thing of value I had left. It was a picture of Stephanie and I. I must have grabbed it out of my room before fleeing.

  Without hesitation I reached out, my fingers sliding across the fragile glass. It was taken over fifteen years ago. The smile she adorned was one that I would never get to see again. Tears filled my eyes, one trickling down my face and onto the picture frame. It made a large splotch of wetness against the glass. Breath filtered into my lungs as I wiped the trail the lone tear left behind.

  Placing the picture down on the nightstand, I walked away. Out of the hotel and out into the streets, leaving the memories of the women I loved there. The streets didn't have any room for vulnerabilities.

  I needed to end this madness.

  For myself.

  For Stephanie.

  For Ellie.

  Blinking my eyes open, a throbbing in my head beat in sync with my heart. Trying to swallow, I realized I couldn’t. My throat felt raw, as if it had been scrapped with old rusty nails and the night before came back slowly.

  Tequila. A whole bottle.

  What started out as one drink soon turned into more until I had downed the entire bottle in hopes of forgetting the problems I couldn't escape.

  My skin begun to crawl, forcing me to shoot up. My body ached with the sudden movement, and I winced in pain. I was still recovering from the damage Drake had caused.

  I sighed, knowing none of what had happened the day prior was a dream but a horrible nightmare. Even worse was when my eyes roamed the room and I realized that I wasn't in the bed in Tuck’s house, but in the living room on his leather couch. Was I that far gone that I fell asleep on the sofa? Someone cleared their throat loudly, drawing my attention, and when I looked in the direction I found Grayson’s sister staring at me from a chair across the room.

  She was supposed to be dead. Buried deep in the ground. Yet she was here. Very much alive and in my presence.

  “Tucker had to leave for a little while and wanted me to look after you.” Her voice was soft, her eyes dark. One look told me she had her own secrets, which I already knew. I didn’t need to know a single thing about her. We all harbored our own secrets. The only issue being if mine were worse than hers, or if we both were fighting the same battle?

  “Ummm…” I wasn’t sure what to say, that and my tongue had yet to catch up with my brain and what was going on. All I could I focus on was how endearing she sounded when she called him Tucker instead of Tuck.

  “You seem slightly shocked, and a bit… I don’t know…flabbergasted, but mainly shocked.” She pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side as if she was reading me, trying to figure out what my next move would be.

  “I…” My head felt heavy as I shifted into an upright position, my back settling
onto the leather cushion behind me. I blinked once, hoping I could undo what I had seen. Stephanie was alive, and worst of all she seemed a bit–off.

  “You don’t have to answer that, I mean I’m supposed to be dead.” She smiled, and it met her eyes causing them to twinkle in the dim lighting. My hands flew to my mouth in shock. Not once had I ever been shocked into silence, and I had a lot of bad shit happen to me in my life.

  “How…?” The words left me without thought. I could’ve asked a million and one other questions. If Grayson were here now he would be kicking me for not touching her, hugging her to make sure she was at the very least real.

  She shrugged, getting up from the chair, and heading towards the kitchen. I watched quietly and curiously, wondering when she would disappear.

  “Water?” She returned a moment later. I nodded my head yes, grabbing the bottle that she offered me from her hand.

  “Your brother. He, he doesn’t know,” I stated, even though it seemed to come out more like a question.

  “Grayson.” I watched the way her body lit up when she said her brother’s name. A mist formed over her eyes, and I could see the memories of her past catching up with her. “He was not just my brother but my best friend too. I mean, I only had him. We only had each other growing up, so I had no one else to compare him to, but still.”

  “He will want to know you’re alive,” I said in between gulps of water, praying the cotton ball effect would go away.

  Yes, Grayson had broken my heart. All but ripped it from my chest and fed it to a bunch of sharks, but he did it to protect me. He deserved to know that Stephanie was alive, and even more so that I was alive too.

  “Time. Time will tell if he can handle that or not.” The queasiness was starting to wear off and in its place anger was building.

  “Time?” I raised my voice. “Grayson thinks your death is his fault. He thinks that all of this is his fault. The person he is now has everything to do with your death,” I declared.

  “Don’t try and make me feel one more ounce of guilt than I already do!” she growled, turning on her heels and walking over to the window that overlooked the countryside. I wanted to slap the shit out of her. She made it seem like everything her brother had been through was not a big deal, that the guilt that ran through his veins wasn’t her fault.

  “Blood coats his hands. The blood of his enemies. The blood of victims from his rage. It coats his hands, and it’s all because of you,” I confessed. My chest heaved every word. I hated how nonchalant she was acting. How could she not want her brother to know she was alive and walking around? He deserved to know far more than anyone else did.

  I was mid-thought and a moment away from telling her to fuck off when she turned back around to face me. I could see the mistiness in her eyes as unshed tears hung in the balance. It was then that I knew she understood what I was saying, but still that wasn’t enough for me. She didn’t truly understand how much Grayson changed, that much I knew.

  “I’m aware of the pain that all of this has caused him, but just like you I never asked for any of this to happen.” She bit her bottom lip trying to stop the tears from coming. I knew what that felt like. Like I said before—secrets.

  “You knew he would want to know. You knew he would feel horrible about your death, and you did nothing to let him know or even give him hope that you survived.” I felt defeated. All the meds that had been running through my veins in the last week were finally starting to wear off and in its place, I was starting to feel the cuts and bruises from what had happened with Drake. That, and I was emotionally and mentally exhausted.

  “I know!” she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “But I don’t have to explain to you what happened, just like you don’t have to explain to me how you came into contact with my brother or Tucker.” She took a step forward, and then another until she was directly in front of me.

  “We both have a past checkered in darkness. We both have made bad choices, choices that shouldn’t be thrown in one another’s faces. I did what I had to do to make things right. You’re doing what you have to do right now. Not because you want to, but because you know that if you turn around and run from Tucker then what he saved you from won’t even matter because you’d just be putting Grayson in more danger.” I clenched my teeth together at her words.

  Truth was a real bitch, and it was even fucking worse when it was coming from the mouth of his sister.

  “I’m not throwing it in your face, and I’m well aware that there are other fucking things that could be said right now… But…” I paused for a moment trying to get my emotions under control. I had never been the type to tell someone how I truly felt, but Grayson changed that about me. He gave me the strength to stand my ground after years of running, and, therefore, I was going to make sure Stephanie knew where I stood with all of this.

  “But you don’t deserve your brother’s love. You don’t understand how your death changed him, and if you don’t understand it now then you never will. You’re better off dead in his eyes.” I couldn’t stop the word vomit from coming, nor could I stop myself from leaving the room the second I said them. No, not everyone wanted to hear the truth and she probably didn’t, but that was the thing about it. Sometimes it hurt more than the actual lie. I wasn’t about lying to Stephanie. My whole life was a lie. My father. Drake. And now Grayson. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I closed the door to the bedroom Tuck had given me.

  Stephanie and I were both right. What had happened to her was the past, but now it was colliding with the future. What was happening now, was my future colliding with the past. Running from my father was a mistake. Tuck faking my death was even worse because the second my father or Drake found out that I was alive it wouldn’t be me that they came for–it would be Grayson.

  Actual death was starting to look like it would be an easier life.

  “A large black coffee. Two creams. Three sugars,” Tuck stated to the waitress as I took a seat in front of him, the waitress walking away before my ass could even hit the seat. We had been friends so long the fucker had memorized how I took my coffee. I smirked, unable to stop myself from doing so.

  Today, at this very moment was the first time I had genuinely smiled in days. The thought of what I had just done made my stomach churn simply because I had no reason for happiness in my life, yet here I was blessed with this fucker for a best friend.

  “It’s really fucking creepy that you know exactly how I order my coffee. Even worse that you just said it out loud.” I rubbed a hand down my face, trying to hide the tiredness in my eyes. Sleep wasn’t something I got around to nowadays. I couldn’t sleep when every time I closed my eyes the nightmare called my life played behind my eyelids. It was like my own personal hell; one I couldn’t even escape while sleeping.

  “What’s creepy is the fact that you wanted to meet at a café amongst all the other places in this neighborhood. And that you look as if you haven’t slept in days, and you smell like sweat and whiskey. What have you been doing other than drowning yourself at the bottom of a bottle?” Tuck’s tone was serious as he questioned me. He was eyeing me with more concern than needed.

  “I don’t need you to be worried about me. I’m working everything out now. In fact, I’m only meeting with you because you made it seem like this was something we needed to do right this fucking second,” I hissed out. My irritability was astounding, like a giant fucking elephant in the room. Plus, I really wanted to know why he had lied to me over the phone. After all I had been through, here I was sitting nicely, ordering a coffee, and waiting for Tuck to tell me whatever seemed so fucking important to drag me out into the city.

  Tuck’s nose wrinkled and then he shot a look over both shoulders as if he was looking to see if someone had followed him. I knew it because it was the same damn thing I did on the walk down here. I knew Ellie’s father had been watching my every movement, and if not him then Drake was at the very least tailing me or trying to. They both had to have some idea
as to where I was. In a city like this, being the people they were. There was no way they couldn’t.

  “First, I know you aren’t holding it together that well.” Tuck took this second to look me over completely, assessing me from head to toe before he continued, “I’m not dumb. Ellie died, and you pretend like you have your shit together when really we both know you don’t. Second, I need your help devising a plan to take down the brotherhood.”

  Color me fucking shocked. “You mean, you aren’t working for with them anymore?” My hands shifted to the back of my head. There were parts of that night that I either couldn’t remember or that I had forced myself to forget. Black spots in your memory were never a good thing when you were trying to figure out how to take people out. If you couldn’t remember what happened, you couldn’t tell who you still had as a friend or who had become a foe.

  “Do you have short term memory loss? I already told you that.” Tuck looked at me sideways, his voice hushed as he shot yet another look around the room to make sure no one was watching us.

  Exhaling a breath, I inhaled one right after taking in the oxygen slowly to calm my nerves. Everything that took place and that was still happening was taking a toll on me. My nerves were fucking shot. I was jittery, like a crack addict waiting for their next fix and I didn’t even do drugs. I couldn’t even remember the last time I ate a full meal. I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t stomach a fucking thing.

  “Alright.” I sighed, swallowing past the sadness in my throat. “I’m not okay. I’m drowning. Fucking suffocating. I can breathe, but it’s not ever a full breath. Every time I close my eyes I see her. Her body face down on the cold concrete. Everyone staring at her lifeless body, her father and Luke, I mean Drake. Fuck, how could I have been so blind? Why didn’t I see that he was far worse than the man we thought he was? All this time and I never suspected a damn thing. We’ve heard stories about Drake, man. We know how ruthless he is, and to know that he was the man that Ellie was promised to; I can’t wrap my head around that or what she must have endured all those years with those two fucks.” My voice changed with my thoughts. A growl rumbled from deep within my chest, causing wandering eyes to look over at us.