Sive

by Daniela Jackson

  For a moment, I’m deaf and my vision is cloudy, then my lips search for hers.

  I didn’t even sink my dick into her, but I feel amazing. Everything is as it should be.

  “Axel,” Zane’s voice resounds from a distance like a blurry echo.

  It’s like a hallucination; it doesn’t exist. The fog in my head rejects it.

  “Axel,” Zane says louder.

  Sive stiffens underneath me.

  “Axel,” Zane growls. “For fuck’s sake. Axel.”

  “Fuck off, Zane,” I mumble.

  “There is some business to do,” Zane says in a cold voice. “I need your fucking ass in the office.”

  I straighten and pull Sive into my arms. Her chest clings to mine as she buries her face into my shoulder. I correct her bra and cover her ass with my arm.

  Zane gazes at her with burning eyes and I’m sure he wants to fuck her as badly as I want to fuck her. But there is business to do. I zip up my trousers and kiss Sive’s lips. She glances at me with her glassy eyes. Tears flow down her cheeks.

  “It’s only Zane, baby,” I say and my chin juts forward. “Get out, Zane. You are making her feel uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t answer your phone,” Zane says.

  “I was busy,” I say. “Sive, baby, don’t pay attention to him, okay?” I pull away from her and pick up her dress, then pull it on her.

  Zane doesn’t move and I know that I’ll have to talk to him seriously, maybe break his nose or knock his tooth out.

  “Get out,” I repeat and Zane backs up, his expression frowning like he’s awakened from a deep sleep.

  I pull Sive to me, kissing the top of her head, and shove her towards the stairs. “Bring those drawings I put on the bedside table. And one of my t-shirts.”

  Sive hurries upstairs and I admire her legs for an instant, then tear off a piece of kitchen towel and wipe my abs from my cum.

  Sive returns with the t-shirt and drawings in her hand. She passes them on to me and watches me with curious eyes as I pull the t-shirt on.

  “I will be late,” I say. “You just go to bed, okay?”

  She bobs her head, backs up and rushes towards the stairs.

  “Sive,” I growl and catch her on the third step.

  Something is wrong with her. Or with me. I need to kiss her before I leave and she doesn’t seem to need the same.

  “Sive,” I murmur, grasp her waist and plant her on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

  “A-xel,” she hums and beams a smile at me.

  “My phone is on the coffee table. Call Zane if you needed anything, okay?”

  I cup her face in both my hands and kiss her lips. It’s so difficult for me to break this kiss, painful like I have a burning wound in my chest, and I don’t want to go, but I have to.

  “The Wi-Fi password is on the fridge,” I say.

  I kiss her again, deeper, harder. Sive steps back and sits on the stairs, jerking her hands down for support. I kneel in front of her with my elbows at either side on her ass.

  “Eat something,” I continue and plant a kiss on her chin. I’m clingy like a woman. I just can’t stop kissing her. Zane was right. She’s a little thing to caress. “Tomorrow, I’ll do some shopping. We can go for a walk or something.”

  “Axel,” Zane growls from behind me. “You will lick off her whole skin.”

  “I’m coming,” I snap, rising to my feet.

  I steal another kiss from Sive, pick up my cut and slip into my boots.

  Chapter 13

  Axel

  I close the door behind me and Zane’s eyes strike lightning at me.

  “The guys like us don’t touch the chicks like her, huh?” Zane says.

  “I didn’t even fuck her, Zane. She’s a virgin. I have to be slow with her.”

  We walk towards the garage back door that leads straight to the office.

  “I get it,” Zane says. “She went under your skin, and you are lying to yourself that she didn’t.”

  “I have just stopped lying to myself.”

  “Don’t fuck it up.”

  “I’m mad about her, Zane. Really. I’m sick without her. I just need to think about it. I can’t focus on anything when she’s around.”

  Zane chuckles. “You’re very focused on covering her whole skin with your saliva.” He nods at me with a wide grin parting his lips, and I wonder whether he’s trying to be polite or really is the best brother I could wish for.

  I shrug and extend my arm to pull the door open.

  “It’s one of Samael’s bulls,” Zane says, changing the topic.

  The fucking business. Even the thought of what Samael has for me this time casts a shadow on the joy I’ve just shared with Sive. She doesn’t belong to my world and I don’t belong to hers but I don’t want to think about the future. There is none for us. There is only the present for us. I will have to kill someone if I allow myself to think about the future. The future when there is no Sive around me.

  We enter the office and my eyes travel to a man of my age, looking like the embodiment of a Russian Mafioso. He’s Samael’s most trusted man, Kolya. His hand glides over his short blonde hair and he lets out a hoarse chuckle as he moves on the stool at the desk. His cold blue eyes glance at me like he’s sending me a warning.

  “Zdravstvujte,” Kolya says. He has a Russian sounding accent.

  I extend my arm and shake hands with him, then notice a thick A4 envelope on the desk. The details of a target to hit, I’m one hundred percent certain.

  “Somebody is messing with Samael on his territory?” I ask and place Sive’s drawings on the envelope.

  “As always,” Kolya says and smoothes his enormous palm up and down the front of his leather cut.

  “How much time?” I ask.

  “No rush,” Kolya says. “Enjoy your little angel for a bit longer.”

  Fuck, they already know about Sive. Why did I expect that I could hide her in my house and nobody would know about her?

  “The police are sniffing around one dead fuck on the road,” Kolya says. “Heard of him?”

  “Nope,” I say.

  It looks like I killed the sick fuck who attacked Sive, but he was lost to society and nobody will cry over him.

  “They are asking about that little angel of yours,” Kolya says.

  “Her stepdad wants her back, but she prefers to live with me,” I say.

  “That’s what I thought.” Kolya pats his abs with his palm and Zane rummages around the office to find a bottle of vodka.

  Kolya grins at the sight of the bottle as my brother pours the alcohol into three shot glasses, and we empty them in an instant.

  “Also a bit of cash,” Kolya says.

  Of course, I expected him to bring some money to wash it in my garage. We’ve been doing that for Samael for years, small sums to stay off the radar of the police. Boulder introduced me to the business when I was sixteen and he was still running the garage.

  “Sure,” I say.

  We have another round of vodka and Kolya raises himself from the stool.

  “Thinking about the agreement?” he asks as a grin creases his face. “Two beautiful women to choose from. You’re a lucky man.”

  “Boulder needs more time,” I say.

  “No rush,” Kolya says, bows his head at us and leaves the office.

  Zane drops onto the stool as I open the small strongbox below the drawer and throw the envelope inside. No rush. I will enjoy my timelessness with Sive for a bit longer and then think about the business.

  Zane grabs Sive’s drawings and looks at them with interest.

  “Sive’s?” he asks.

  “Yep.”

  “She has a talent.”

  “She is a very talented little mermaid indeed.”

  Zane takes a deep breath. “I can do this job instead of you. You have Sive now and I have nobody.”

  “No, Zane. It’s my job. Boulder was clear enough that you would stay off the business for as
long as possible but thanks for offering your help.”

  “Sure. I will look after Sive in case—“

  “I have no doubt about that, but there will be no such need. She is staying with me.”

  “For how long?”

  “I don’t know yet. Get back to work.”

  He bobs his head at me, tossing back his hair, and rushes to the door. I stare at the angel drawn by Sive and stifle my urge to return to her. Instead, I go to help the boys.

  It’s very busy. We finish after six and go straight to ‘Jilly Jet’.

  Boulder and Blaze are sitting on the bar stools as I walk in. My eyes spot Wendy at one of the tables. She’s chatting with Lisa.

  I approach Blaze and put the drawings on the counter in front of him.

  “Interested?” I ask.

  Blaze looks through the drawings, but his expression doesn’t betray any emotions.

  “Three hundred and I want more of them,” Blaze says as he smoothes his beard with his fingers. “Who has drawn them? Your kid?”

  “My kid,” I say. “Thirty and they are yours.”

  If I hand Sive three hundred, she will disappear from my life as early as tomorrow. Thirty is enough to keep her happy and stuck in my house.

  “I get it,” Blaze says and smirks at me. “Thirty and more drawings as soon as possible.”

  “I will tell her,” I say and settle myself between Boulder and him.

  “Kolya was in my office,” I say.

  “A job?” Boulder asks.

  I nod at him. “He said not to hurry.”

  “So don’t.” Boulder brings the glass of beer to his lips.

  Mia glances at me so I order a shot of vodka and coke to wash it down. Looking over my shoulder, I notice Zane who’s playing snooker with Lisa. She tries to flirt with him, but he is mute like he is bathing in his own thoughts.

  “Was it difficult for Ma?” I start quietly and look at Boulder.

  “What?” Boulder asks.

  “The MC stuff and being your wife.”

  “Why are you asking?” Boulder empties his glass and waves his hand at Mia.

  “I want to know.”

  “Because of that cute little thing in your house?”

  “Is it serious?” Blaze joins us and leans towards me, laying his calloused hand on my neck.

  “I don’t know,” I explode. “I’m just looking after her. That’s all.”

  “Mother will knock all your teeth out if you fuck her and leave her after,” Boulder says. “I haven’t seen her so pissed off since Zane and you were teenagers and she found girls in your beds.”

  “It’s kind of important to Ma, I guess.”

  Boulder sends me a predatory glance. “Mother likes Sive. I like Sive too.”

  “I love her,” Blaze says and taps the back of my neck.

  “So was it difficult for Ma or not?” I bark.

  “It was very difficult for her,” Boulder says, “but she’s supported me the best she could over all those years even though I couldn’t tell her everything.”

  I urge Mia to pour me another shot.

  Thoughts tumble in my head. Ma is a strong woman, one of us, whilst Sive is a delicate creature who needs protection all the time. I don’t think she could manage to deal with who I really am.

  I know that I can’t allow myself to even think about a relationship with her. I shouldn’t plan anything and I shouldn’t even touch her but the truth is that my only desire is to keep her in my house for as long as possible.

  The alcohol flows in my veins and the warmth makes my muscles relax. I put my elbows on the counter and growl at Mia to hurry with another shot. I need to escape from my internal struggle if only for a moment.

  “She is sweet, ya know,” I say to Boulder.

  “She looks like a fucking little goddess,” Boulder says. “Delicious.”

  I raise my hand and make a threatening gesture with my forefinger. “Mine.”

  Mia places three shots in front of me and flashes me a seductive smile. “Anything else?”

  “Three more,” I say, swallow a shot and turn my face to Boulder. “She is mine. My little mermaid.”

  “Are you in love, son?” Boulder asks, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

  I prop my elbow on the counter and rest my forehead against my palm. “I don’t know. I can’t get that chick out of my head.”

  “Give it more time, see how things will progress.” Boulder raises his hand and we clink glasses.

  Zane joins us and looks at me sternly. “Go home, Axel. You are drunk.”

  “Shut up,” I rasp. “You are not my fucking nanny.” I pour more of the alcohol into my mouth and turn my face to Blaze. “He’s always like our family’s fucking conscience.” I empty another shot.

  The alcohol makes me feel good, kills the fear sprouting at the bottom of my heart. I fear that Sive won’t want to have anything to do with me when she learns who I really am. I’ve wanted her since the moment I saw her on that road. Everything is prefect about her; everything is so fresh and intense with her, everything is just right with her.

  I grab another shot glass, spilling vodka onto the counter, and swallow it instantly. My mind is a bit hazy and I start feeling unsteady and incoherent, but it doesn’t stop me from emptying two more shots. I hear myself gibberish, my problems don’t seem so bad to me any longer and everything is more funny to me.

  “Go home, Axel,” Boulder says and Zane grabs my arm.

  I sweep my other arm. “I can walk.”

  A thought hammers in my head. I have to go to my Sive. Raising my hand, I stagger towards the exit and the boys rumble their goodbyes.

  As the door swings open, the chilly air whips my face. The last remnants of my rationality tell me to leave the bike at the bar and go on foot.

  “Do you need a ride home?” Wendy’s voice comes from behind me.

  “Fuck off,” I mumble.

  I can walk. I don’t need anybody’s pity.

  “Why are you so rude?” Wendy snaps and catches up with me.

  “I’m a bad rude man.”

  “I’ll give you a lift, you big bad rude man,” Wendy says in a sweet voice.

  It seems a good idea to me so I let her guide me to her car parked near the bar. She shoves me into the passenger seat and fastens my seatbelt.

  “Funny, isn’t it?” she says, settling herself behind the steering wheel.

  “What?” I growl.

  “You aren’t groping me this time.”

  “I have to go home,” I rumble.

  She pisses me off. I have to go to my Sive. My fist slams on the inside of the car door.

  “Alright, you big rude man,” she says in a loud voice and starts the engine.

  The car moves forward as I rest my forehead against the window. There is blackness in my head for a moment, and then Wendy’s hand shaking my arm tears me out of my drunken nap. She’s standing at the passenger side and helping me get out of the car.

  “Who is that little girl in your house?” Wendy asks, throwing my arm across her back and leading me towards the door.

  “My little mermaid.”

  “I didn’t know you could be such a romantic.”

  We tumble inside the house, and Wendy shoves me into the couch.

  “Do you want some water?” she asks and kneels between my legs, taking off my boots.

  “Get out of my house,” I bark.

  She snorts and sits beside me. “You’ve changed, you know.”

  “So what? Get out.”

  “I thought there would be something between us.” She leans towards me and kisses my neck. “I thought you would want something more stable with me. I thought you loved the fucking. It’s always good, isn’t it?” She runs her wet tongue up my throat and kisses the angle of my jaw.

  My cloudy brain doesn’t want her, but my dick twitches in my pants. I raise myself, kicking the coffee table. My foot knocks it over and the bang tears at the air.

  Wendy chuckle
s and pulls me into the couch. She removes my cut and t-shirt and I barely realise that. Everything wavers around me. Everything is so fucking slow around me.

  Wendy sits on her heels beside me, and her chest clings to my back. It’s not right, and I growl with fury, but her hand slides under my waistband. My brain furiously rebels against her touch, but my dick doesn’t discern between Sive and her.

  Wendy strokes me and kisses my neck. Fortunately, my drunken brain is stubborn enough and wins the battle with my stupid dick so I clumsily shove her off me and she lands on the floor.

  “Get out of my house,” I say. “Now.”

  My eyes lift towards the stairs and I see Sive sitting on the third step. She tilts her head and her glance sends coldness into my veins.

  Chapter 14

  Sive

  He doesn’t want that woman. I can see it clearly, but it doesn’t change the fact that she slipped her hand into his pants. He allowed her to touch him.

  “Sive,” Axel says. “Come here, baby.”

  I can barely discern his words. He’s very drunk.

  The woman rises to her feet and watches me with cold assessing eyes as I move closer to them and stop in the middle of the living area.

  Axel staggers towards me, falls to his knees and wraps his arms around my bottom, resting his cheek against my tummy.

  “I’m drunk, Sive,” he says. “I’m really drunk.”

  I’ve noticed that, you moron. The blood in my veins starts to boil and I want to yell at him but my lips only curl into a polite smile that I flash towards the woman. She sends me a snarl in return.

  “You are just a brief moment in his life, you little girl,” the woman says. “He always comes back to me.”

  I’m certain of that. It’s obvious that they regularly enjoy each other. Axel is a man. He needs a woman. This is how things work in the world. Nonetheless, her words stab me like a knife, slap me like a real hand can slap a cheek. Jealousy spreads in my chest like I have a black hole inside.