I Was a Teenage Weredeer

by C. T. Phipps

Stupid, cowardly me.

  “I was a kid!” I shouted, shooting at the demons repeatedly until I ran out of ammunition. “Oh hell.”

  “Are you scared to go in the water, Jenny?” a little distorted version of my voice as a child spoke. “Don’t be stupid. It’s just a lake. There’s no monsters here.”

  “Go!” Alex said, his voice rasping out. He was on both knees now. “I’ll cover you.”

  “Get on top of me!” I shouted.

  “What?” Alex said.

  “Not that way, jackass!” I said, hoping this didn’t get us all killed. “Just do it.”

  I couldn’t feel the moon in this place to aid in my transformation. Instead, I focused every bit of my anger and guilt to provide the necessary fuel for the Change. It wasn’t like in the movies where my body physically transformed in some excruciating body horror. Instead, it was like I changed places with a deer in some other serene place. One minute, I was Jane the Human, and the next minute I was Jane the Deer.

  Jane the Deer was someone a lot more majestic than Jane the Human. I had snow-white fur and there was a power inside me that felt far stronger than anything a mere human could possess. Sometimes, I wanted to just go off into the forest and live like this. That wasn’t important right now, though, and I needed to focus on getting my FBI agent to safety.

  When I felt his arms wrap around me, I turned around and started jumping toward the rift in reality. A normal deer wouldn’t have been able to support Alex’s weight, but every shifter had not just the strength of their animal but a few more besides. The flames licked at my legs and whenever they did, I didn’t feel burns but something much more painful. I remembered how I’d failed Jenny, how my brother was currently rotting in prison, and a how I was probably going to die in this town having accomplished nothing in my life.

  “I am going to accomplish something now!” I said, sounding just like random deer noises to anyone else.

  The two demons teleported in front of the rift while I trotted through the flames. I leapt into the air, refusing to let them block my way. I didn’t actually get over them so much as smash into them. I half expected to experience a hundred thousand horrible things when I did so, but instead, both demons shattered like glass before the hellish landscape around me disappeared.

  I found myself running past Clara and ended up coming to a stop right in the middle of the nightclub’s back lot. It was night now, the sun having just set with a light rain pouring down from the sky. The rift to Hell behind me sealed up and I felt an end to the horrible flames and terrible guilt the place carried memories of.

  It was quite the sight outside of the rift. There was Lucien, I think, looking like some kind of human-Velociraptor raptor hybrid with crocodile skin and a long, thick tail standing over the bodies of several burning dog skeletons as well as an octopus-looking thing with eyes instead of suction cups. Clara was holding a shotgun while Jeanine was standing next to Emma. I also saw Deana next to a hideous steaming stag corpse that I assumed she’d managed to put out. A closer look revealed it had a human torso and a spear for an arm. Apparently, the group had spent their time fighting demons coming through the rift in order to keep the door open for us. I wasn’t sure how to thank someone for that.

  “Thank you,” Alex said, his voice exhausted and quivering. “I owe you my life.”

  “Hey, no problem,” I said, still in deer form as the rain poured down on me. “It’s not every day I get ridden hard and left wet.”

  “I can understand you, you realize that, right?” Alex said, sliding off my side.

  “Oh crap!” I said. “Forget I mentioned that!”

  Alex burst out laughing.

  I turned back into my human form, collapsing on the ground with most of my makeup ruined and half of my press-on nails having fallen off. “Kill me now.”

  “Are you all right?” Lucien said, reverting back to his human form and walking over to offer his hand to me.

  “Oh, yeah,” I said, taking his hand. “I’m just peachy. What’s a little Hell between friends?”

  As my hand touched Lucien’s, I found myself having a vision of us kissing passionately underneath a set of silk covers as I felt waves of pleasure pass through my body. We were in a hotel room of some kind and I wasn’t that much older. My eyes practically bulged out as I contemplated this in addition to the other vision I’d had about Alex.

  Oh my God, I was going to be with both. What was wrong with me? I mean, aside from the fact that if a man was doing this no one would care. Wait, dammit, don’t make this a gender thing! Lucien is a drug dealer and Alex is an FBI agent. Both are incredibly inappropriate hot guys to sleep with! Okay, what was my argument again?

  “Jane?” Lucien said, obviously not picking up on what I was thinking.

  “Ah!” I said, staring. “Nothing!’

  My visions weren’t always a 100% accurate, I had to remind myself. They showed me potential futures, but it was entirely within my power to act upon them in order to guarantee they did or did not happen. Besides, I hated Lucien? Right?

  Lucien looked at me sideways then helped me to my feet. “Right. Well, you owe your sister a great deal. She was the one who figured out there was a reality bubble and opened a portal to it. We’ve been working on this for almost six hours.”

  Six hours? Whoa. Turning to Jeanine, I stared at her. “You can open portals into other realities?”

  Jeanine shrugged. “Mom told me how. Just because I don’t like doing magic doesn’t mean I don’t know how.”

  “Where is Mom, anyway?” I asked, trying to wrap my head on the fact that a few minutes in there was hours outside.

  “Traveling upstate,” Clara said, frowning. “For some reason, Agent Timmons thought your brother might be in danger as long as he’s in this town.”

  “Shocking,” Alex said, coughing as he looked barely able to stand on his own two feet. “Whoever would believe there might be a party willing to use violence against those who appear to be threatening their plan?”

  Clara didn’t respond but just narrowed her eyes. “Well, they failed to kill you both. I think we need to put Jane under twenty-four-hour protection along with anyone else associated with this case. It’s clearly much bigger than a few dead shapeshifters.”

  “One of which is our sister!” Emma said, sounding shocked by Clara’s description of the case.

  Clara looked over at Emma. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  Emma’s glare continued.

  Alex took several breaths before stretching out his arms in a yoga-like pose and rolling his head around in circles. “I’m afraid, despite the attempt on Ms. Doe’s and my life, that we cannot stop our investigation. Recent events have led me to believe the heart of this case is going to be decided in Darkwater Preserve at the Old Lodge.”

  “The Lodge hasn’t been used in decades,” Clara said, sounding more defensive than expected. “It also moves around depending on who is doing the seeking. The old shamans and witches did a lot of spells to hide it from humans. Spells that haven’t been maintained.”

  “Nevertheless,” Alex said, pulling out a flashlight. “Look we must. Jane, would you do me a favor and meet me there?”

  “What?” Jeanine said. “You can’t take my sister there! Darkwater Preserve is dangerous! My cousin drowned there.”

  I clenched both of my hands and tried not to feel like I’d been punched in the gut. What had happened wasn’t my fault. Even though I’d dared her to swim in the part of the lake that was fenced off.

  Even though I’d lied after.

  Not my fault.

  “I’ll do it,” I said, my mouth dry. “No one else should die.”

  I had another reason to want to solve this case now.

  Redemption.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “You want a teenage girl to help you?” Clara said, staring at Alex as she let her shotgun hang down beside her in a most non-police officer-like fashion. “Are you insane?”

  Alex
shrugged his shoulders. “Actually, I did spend some time in a mental institution when I was younger. That was related to my father’s systemic abuse and my burgeoning magical powers, however. Medication and therapy have allowed me to live a normal life as well as harness the full capacity of my abilities, though.”

  Lucien chuckled at this while everyone else looked confused, myself included.

  Clara blinked, obviously at a loss for how to respond. “I’m…sorry.”

  “Well, if I forbid her from going, what do you think she’d do?” Alex asked, pulling out a green lollipop from his pocket. It smelled like weed.

  “Hey, I’m right here.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. “I’d sulk an hour or two then go anyway.”

  “So I figured,” Alex said, sucking on his lollipop. “Given that whoever is involved in this just tried to kill us both, it seemed a good idea to keep her close by instead. Though, I admit, Jane did more protecting of me than the reverse.”

  “All the more reason to lock her up!” Clara said, staring at us both as the rain poured down. “She’s obstructed justice!”

  “Hardly. We’ve gotten more leads from her than any other source. She is just the deer-in-the-China-shop we need,” Alex said, pulling out an orange umbrella and handing it to me then pulling out another and then another to pass around the group. I suspected that was magic at work since I doubted he had a collection of umbrellas in his pocket.

  “It’s supposed to be a bull, not a deer.” Clara shook her head, clearly bewildered. “I swear, you are either the worst FBI agent I have ever met or the best.”

  “Have you met any others?” Alex asked.

  “No,” Clara said, realizing that kind of reduced the statement’s value. “You are pretty damn weird, though.”

  “Thank you,” Alex said, pulling out a second lollipop and offering it to me. “Care for one, Jane? You’ve earned it.”

  “Uh, are those pot lollipops?”

  “Entirely legal in Michigan,” Alex said. “The vampires legalizing everything has some benefits.”

  “Worst FBI agent,” Clara said, shaking her head. “Have you even solved any cases?”

  “Twenty-four,” Alex said. “Twenty-one multiple homicides and three kidnappings. Sexual assault was involved in—”

  “Forget I asked,” Clara said, taking the last umbrella and popping it over her head. It was a jet-black color with silver lining.

  Lucien walked over and took the second lollipop before putting it in his mouth. “You should contact her mother instead. If the Lodge is involved, you need more than an untrained girl.”

  I glared at him. “Says the guy whose club recently became a Hellmouth.”

  Emma looked uncomfortable as she stood under a pink umbrella. “I dunno, Jane, maybe it’d be a good idea to call in the experts now. This isn’t just the case of laying your hands on a body to find out the killer. I mean, you were almost killed. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have involved you.”

  “You’re right,” Jeanine said, crossing her arms and glaring at Emma. “You shouldn’t have.”

  Jeanine was the only one without an umbrella. I wasn’t too worried. Weredeer, like all shifters, were immune to catching the common cold.

  “I don’t think anyone expected a Hell dimension as a natural consequence of involving myself,” I said, getting under Alex’s blue umbrella.

  “No, just serial murder,” Jeanine said. “I’m taking you home, Jane. This is way too dangerous.”

  “You decided this after helping me break into Lucien’s office?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Way to stay the course, Jean.”

  Jeanine covered her face before pointing at Lucien. “Great, advertise it to the world, why don’t you? He’s right over there.”

  “Yes, because I couldn’t figure out you let her in,” Lucien said, snorting. He held a red umbrella over his head while sucking on his lollipop. “I am clearly dealing with a pair of criminal masterminds.”

  “Be nice,” Deana said, standing beside her employer. “Whitetail #1 and Whitetail #2 have won my respect. They were both willing to stand up to you, Boss.”

  “That’s a racial slur,” I said.

  “Says the white American girl to the brown Indian woman,” Deana said.

  Oh, right. “Never mind.”

  Lucien surveyed the group. “This is a far larger issue than any of us. I’d like to offer my services to help you resolve it.”

  “No,” Clara said, her voice low and threatening. “We don’t need your help.”

  In that moment, she sounded a lot like Victoria. There was a lot of resentment there and I understood why.

  “Sheriff—”

  “You got my niece killed,” Clara said, her voice icy. “I’d arrest you, but I don’t need that kind of trouble with the undead right now.”

  Lucien didn’t respond and I wasn’t about to mention that Victoria had been at the heart of this herself.

  “I want to help,” Jeanine said, raising her voice. “I know about the Lodge. If that will keep Jane safe, then—”

  Alex surprised everyone by starting to rattle off facts about it. “The Lodge is a shapeshifter sacred place built on a holy site of the Odawa people. It was a place where the veil between worlds was identified as especially weak. The Odawa villages in the area included a collection of shapeshifters who mixed with a group of similarly-gifted French fur trappers. These trappers were looking for a place to settle their families fleeing the persecution of shapeshifters begun in 1598 with the execution of werewolf Peter Strumpp. Later, these individuals would be joined by Irish and Scottish shapechangers who created the syncretic culture found here today.”

  I looked over at Alex. “We know our town’s history, Alex.”

  “You’ve done your research,” Clara said, nodding.

  Alex nodded. “Yes, well, the Lodge became a place of great spiritual significance. A place administering to shapeshifters across the globe until it was suddenly abandoned in 1954 and considered cursed.”

  I sighed. “I can’t tell you the reason why. I didn’t even know the missing thirteenth clan was a bunch of dragons until today.”

  “Really?” Jeanine asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, I didn’t pay much attention to my mother’s stories once I found out I’d never be a shaman.”

  “Maybe you should have tried harder,” Jeanine criticized.

  “Maybe you should go back to Brad,” I said, looking around. “Where is he anyway?”

  Jeanine didn’t meet my gaze. “He didn’t stay. Apparently, he took my siding with my family against his boss poorly.”

  I looked at Lucien. “Nice job.”

  “Jeanine made her choice,” Lucien said. “Albeit, he is a poor student of my philosophy if he thinks siding with me against the person he loves will make me respect him. Quite the opposite.”

  “Let’s stay on topic, people,” Clara said. “We still haven’t even agreed we’re even going to look for the Lodge. Darkwater Preserve may not be as large as Bright Falls State Park, but it’s still hundreds of square acres. There’s no way we can cover it all by ourselves.”

  “Jane’s visions will help,” Alex said. “I guarantee it. I believe a terrible crime was committed in the Lodge,” Alex said, looking at the horizon as the rain continued to pour down over us. “One so heinous that it tainted the site and made it so it became a link to only the darkest parts of the Spirit World. I believe Victoria might have encountered that part of the Lodge and been touched by it.”

  “Abandoning your theory for Lucien’s? Listen, I don’t believe demons are responsible.” I looked back at the nightclub, feeling overwhelmed by all the attention here. “Albeit, that theory has taken a hit, since I’ve seen they’re real with my own two eyes.”

  “Human hands sacrificed the three victims,” Alex said. “Demons do not practice religion or ritual magic. Such rites are only done by humans. That doesn’t mean the clues aren’t going to be found there. I need your help, Jane.”r />
  My heart started beating faster. “Oh, well, in that case, yeah, I want to do it.”

  “You wanted to do it before,” Alex pointed out.

  I admitted I did. “Why are you trusting me with all this?”

  Alex smiled. “Call it intuition.”

  There wasn’t much to say after that and the various groups broke up. I overheard some of the conversations that followed and got the general gist of Lucien not being at all happy at being let out, Clara not at all being happy with any of Alex’s decisions, and Jeanine practically begging me to come with her. That last part I didn’t have to overhear since it was directed at me but I didn’t listen. Still, I was sorry I got her fired and would try to get her rehired by pointing out that she saved my life. That probably wouldn’t work since it wasn’t like Lucien and I were friends or anything. Just future lovers.

  Yikes.

  Really the next half-hour or so, which brought us to nearly eleven in the evening, was something of a blur. I barely registered anything as all of the events of the day came crashing down on top of me. Aside from cleaning off my goth makeup and changing my clothes so I didn’t look like a goth hooker, I just went through the motions of getting ready to join the others at Darkwater Preserve. I wasn’t even the one to drive the Millennium Falcon because I couldn’t get the images of Jenny drowning out of my head.

  I wasn’t bothered by the actual flames of Hell or the fact I’d nearly died there. No, I was bothered by the memories it stirred up. I’d lied to my parents about daring Jenny to go in and repeated it so many times that I’d come to believe it myself. The fact that I’d been ten years old and terrified didn’t mitigate what I’d done.

  “Jane,” Emma said, driving through the stereotypical dark and stormy night around us. The moon was a half-moon above us and I felt its power radiating down. It wasn’t a full moon, but it was waxing, and the power inside me grew strong as a result.

  I didn’t pay attention to Emma’s statement. Instead, I just stared forward, continuing to think about whether it was possible to find a way to make up for letting my cousin die. I couldn’t see one but I needed to learn to live with what I’d done.