Charlotte pressed the knife into Cameron’s cheek. “Anybody comes any closer, I’ll draw blood from her pretty face.” She teased the tip of the blade perversely, round and round, creating small circles.
Cameron felt herself grow weak. It had more to do with her brother’s actions than the knife ready to carve her. She sought him out. He had to look away from her. It killed her to know what he’d stooped to. Her own flesh and blood.
Jake swore and yelled, offering himself if she would let Cameron go.
“It’s too late for that. You flatter yourself.” Charlotte grumbled.
He looked defeated and remorseful for putting Cameron in this situation.
Cameron took to pleading, hoping to distract Charlotte. “I’ve never done anything to you. There is nothing to be jealous of.”
“Jealous? Ha! You couldn’t be more wrong—jealous of you? You think too much of yourself. I’m way more of a woman than you are or ever will be.”
Once more, she steadied the knife until blood dripped from the pressure of it. Cameron noticed Jake and Thomas exchange a glance and knew that time was running out.
Jake began spewing all sorts of invectives at Charlotte until Thomas rushed her. Cameron saw him coming from her blurred vision and so must’ve Charlotte, because she held firm the knife and sliced a fine line across her lower cheek. Thomas roared like a madman and was suddenly choking Charlotte with all his might. Jesse pulled him off.
Once on his haunches, Thomas fixed his stare upon Cameron, as if to say that this was what he was; this was exactly the part of him he didn’t want her to know.
Lacey wrapped her arm around Cameron and lead her away from the scene. Cameron held a piece of linen to her face, lifting it once in a while to check the bleeding. Ed had Charlotte in his arms, carrying out her limp body.
*** *** ***
The beautiful evening had turned into a nightmare. Cameron shook Lacey off and approached Thomas. She’d been stripped of all pride, and without a thread of it left to hang onto, she threw herself at her brother’s feet, sobbing. She sobbed even harder when she felt the surprised warmth of his arms raising her up and encircling her. The whole room could testify to the presence of longing and regret radiating from them. He whispered apologies, apologies for failing her, for being cruel and cold-hearted, and for abandoning her and their mama.
Cameron looked into his eyes, her tears never ceasing their flow. “You never abandoned us.”
Everyone remaining in the saloon had been forced to eavesdrop, so each began to sneak out one at a time.
“Of course I did.” His reply was harsh.
“Mama made you leave, same as she made me leave. She wanted better for us. And I think she succeeded.” She still held the cloth to her cheek, but the bleeding had stopped.
“Look at you. How can you think that? And me, I’ve been killing men my whole adult life—look what I did to you and Jake? Cameron…that’s the kind of person I am.”
“That’s the first time you ever said my name,” she said softly.
He looked at her, stunned. “It is?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to acknowledge me and say my name. Thank you, Thomas. And because you try so hard to keep me away from you simply means that you care! It doesn’t have to matter how you’ve lived. My father would have killed you if you had stayed. Mama knew that. He was a drunkard,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“That’s just it,” Thomas said, full of remorse. “I told mama I would come back for her, but I never did. I left her there to be abused and mistreated. What kind of a son is that?” He asked the question which must have tormented him his entire life.
“How old were you?” She already knew, but he needed to hear it for himself.
“Eleven, twelve,” he said.
“You were eleven years old. Did you really expect to come back and stand up to Pa? He was a nasty, bitter man who cared only for himself and his whiskey. He would have killed you for sure if you had come back. He would have no problem doing it—you weren’t his.”
“It’s not that simple. I’ve had to live with this...”
“Would it help you to know that mama never once said ill things of you because you didn’t come back? She hated herself for making you leave—on your own at such a tender age. She had been afraid that you were hurt or dead until she received your letter. Thomas, that one letter changed the course of her life and mine. It gave her hope and released her from fearing for your life every day. It changed mine because, if you’ll have me, I want to be your family.”
She waited.
“I still don’t have a clue why you want to be with me.”
She gave him a bright smile. “Ouch.” She winced and flexed her jaw, testing the forgotten pain in her burning cheek. “I want you because I want us,” she continued. “I want it because it’s what mama wanted.”
“You need to get that cut looked at.” He rubbed her unscathed cheek.
Dr. Colvin rushed into the room and promptly scowled at Liam, who shrugged. “She was cut with a knife, Doc. I didn’t wait around to see how bad it was.”
Cameron removed the cloth so he could examine her wound. “Well,” he said, poking and gently prodding. “It’s not that deep, but you’re going to have a slight scar.”
Thomas swore. Cameron hadn’t thought that far ahead. She touched her cheek, casting the doctor a worried look.
“It’s a straight cut at least. I can bandage it so that it will end up healing into a scar slightly wider than a strand of thread. It’s about three inches long, it’s not horrid.” He was kind enough to reassure, “You’ll still be just as beautiful as you are now.”
She was surprised to have any more tears left—she never considered herself to be vain, but was troubled at the thought of having a three inch scar in the middle of her cheek. Anger rose up in her towards Charlotte. This is what an undeserved hate and jealousy did. It had been easier to feel sorry for her.
“I need to bandage it up right away. The lighting is not good here. I need you in my office.”
They both looked at Thomas, whose jaw was clenched, looking ready to kill.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Cameron brought herself to Spillman’s Creek, lingering there with its good and bad memories. It being one place she could find solace and oddly enough, comfort. She pulled up her knees to her chest and sat in the dewy grass. She thought about her last visit to this place of treasure. She might not feel as lost and destitute as that long ago and cold winter’s day, but she had yet to feel whole and satisfied with her life.
A squirrel stopped in front of her for one brief second before scurrying away, causing a warm smile to grace Cameron’s lips. Joy and happiness filled her spirit where Thomas was concerned. He was learning how not only to be a brother, but guardian and protector as well, making her proud of his efforts. She appreciated the attempts he made at making her part of his life, at his endeavors to create a family between them. But still, she was not content and her heart was unsettled. There was nothing else in her life that needed her attention. She had Thomas, Jake remained her friend, she and Lacey were closer than ever. That left Andrew.
Andrew. When had her adoration for him grown beyond caring friendship? When had the stirrings of her heart begun to think of him more often than she should? He was an example of kindness, love and a non-threatening resource for people who wanted to know of his God—the God he claimed loves all, sinners included; sinners such as herself.
A splashing sound came from the flowing creek and broke Cameron out of her reverie. She got up to stretch her legs, going in the direction of the water’s edge. As she walked she felt her insides tremble slightly. Cameron had a strange feeling as the urgent, unexplainable and intense sensation escalated. She was about to experience something beyond her understanding. But how? Why?
She stooped to touch the water. It was running cold and fast. Suddenly all her past, the loneliness, the years of anger, and the self-doubt erupted in a flood of t
ears. She sobbed deeply, painfully. Why was she crying? Questions tumbled through her mind.
This God Andrew speaks of...could He really love her so unconditionally, so completely? Would He want the girl who had been deserted by all the significant people in her life?
Knowing she was alone, Cameron risked looking foolish and followed her heart. “God,” she cried aloud, her first weak attempt at prayer. “Oh, God, I do want your love... the same love Andrew speaks of. Could you give me the peace I’ve been searching for? I hardly know how to love you back, but I want to learn. Please, give me a faith like Andrew’s.”
Cameron opened her eyes to see sunshine dancing off the sparkling water in the creek. In that instant, a sensing, a knowing came to her as crystal clear as the water she let run through her fingers. God heard her prayer. New tears came. This time they were tears of inexpressible confidence that she, someone such as herself, was received and loved. She was deeply amazed at how clean she felt, as if the water at her feet washed her filth away, only it wasn’t the flowing creek, it was God.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Andrew watched Cameron serve customers at supper. He admired the way she touched their shoulders in kindness, listened tenderly to chatty women, flashing them genuine smiles. She was a selfless, giving person. It was like she was made to love and take care of anyone who crossed her path, it came so naturally. Despite all the trouble that had come her way, Cameron was strong and bounced back even stronger.
She saw him and smiled, then finished her conversation with a family, tickling the youngin’ under his chin with the crook of her slender finger before coming over to his table.
His face lit up like a schoolboy. “These are for you.” He handed her three yellow tulips.
“Already?” she asked, blushing at his attention.
“Can you believe it? They seemed to just pop up over night at the side of my house.” He was thrilled when the flowers bloomed early—as if they did it just for this moment.
“I love them!” She inhaled their delicate scent and pivoted away, saying something about a vase.
It was hard for him to see the scar branding her cheek, though Doc Colvin had been right. It had healed nicely in its threadlike appearance. As refreshing as it was to know Cameron held no ill-will towards the one who did this horrid thing to her, he had to deal with his own thoughts about Charlotte.
Andrew had also been working diligently, with God’s help, on dealing with thoughts of Jake and Cameron. He watched them carefully when they were together. Cameron treated Jake the same as she did everyone else. What he saw in Jake’s eyes was quite different, however. Andrew almost felt sorry for his wayward friend. It was ironic though that neither one seemed to have the woman’s affections. This did make it easier to deal with anger and distrust whenever they tried to fog his mind.
Cameron had grown and changed in the past months and he would not, he told himself, would not interfere with her happiness. He didn’t care for her living back at the ranch, but the one thing he could be thankful for was that now her brother would protect her integrity. He didn’t like to admit that he had thought about that young dandy, Jesse, a time or two. It was thoughts like that he wished God would swoop down and destroy before entering his mind. But He didn’t comply, so Andrew was left learning to take his love for Cameron one day at a time.
“Here’s your supper.” Patsy delivered a steaming bowl of stew and a mini loaf of hot bread. His eyes looked passed her. “She’s putting her flowers in a vase, humming,” she said with a smirk. “She didn’t want your supper to get cold and asked me to bring it out to you.”
Sheepishly, he said, “Forgive my lack of manners. Thank you, it smells wonderful.”
“I didn’t make it, I’m just bringin’ it,” she said dryly.
He took longer than necessary to eat, slowly pulling apart his bread until it was all gone. He had a mind to stay until the restaurant was empty. A minute alone with Cameron would help him go another day.
True to his wishes, after the last table departed, Cameron brought out a tray of coffee and dessert. He felt foolish for staying so long, but it didn’t matter. If foolishness was the price he needed to pay, he had a lot of it to spend, and every cent was worth it.
“How’s your mother doing, Andrew?”
“I received a letter only yesterday. She’s doing just fine. She’ll be visiting in a couple of months when the new church is completed.” Andrew cautiously sipped the hot brew.
“Did you hear about Miss Evah?” Cameron asked.
“I did. I can’t believe she would sign up to be a mail order bride.”
“I can’t believe she’s heading out West. It seems so dangerous there.”
“It can’t be more dangerous than living here.”
She giggled. “Isn’t that the truth!”
After a bit of silence he said, “Come riding with me.”
“I would love to.”
“Be sure to bundle up. I know the sun’s been shining but it’s deceiving. It’s colder than you think.”
Andrew restrained himself from showing excessive excitement. After all, Cameron looked upon him as a friend, nothing more. Still, it didn’t steal the joy he felt knowing he would have her all to himself.
*** *** ***
Andrew rode alongside Cameron. Her eyes scanned the glorious landscape. He held onto the silence between them because she appeared to be contemplating something.
Minutes later she spoke.
“I’ve done it, Andrew. Last month.” She looked at him. “I’ve invited Him into my life.”
It took a minute to perceive and digest what she said...last month? And she didn’t tell him? He realized then that she’d needed Him to herself, to heal her heart, to reveal His unconditional love towards her, to do the many wonderful things He does for His children.
Andrew jumped from his horse and pulled her down and into his arms. Swinging her around he shouted, “Yeah-Whoo!” In his excitement he squeezed her in his rough embrace.
“Andrew...I can’t...breathe,” she stammered.
“I’m just so happy!”
They stopped suddenly. He gently cupped her face and kissed her mouth soundly but swiftly. Apologetically he took her in. “I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.”
She, too, appeared contrite.
He lifted her chin with his gloved hand. “I should say I won’t ever do that again, unless you are my wife.”
Tears filled her eyes until they spilled out. “I’ve done so many wrong things. You can’t possibly want me.”
“I mean no disrespect, but you have no idea what I want. And don’t tell me that I don’t want you for my wife.”
She turned away. “You don’t understand. If you did, you would take back everything you just said to me.”
He closed his eyes and gained his bearings on the most difficult thing he’s ever had to say. Andrew gently grasped Cameron’s shoulders and turned her back towards him. This thing needed to be said, for both of them.
“I know about you and Jake. I was there when Charlotte announced it to the world, remember?” He slid the back of his hand over her scar and searched her face. “I can’t say that I wasn’t heartbroken about it, because I’ve loved you for a long time.”
She surrendered herself to be held in his embrace. Her body shook with sobs until she was spent, weak from emotion and drained from tears.
“I must look a sight!” Her hands went to fix her hat gone askew.
“You couldn’t be more beautiful. Red marks and freckles,” he commented with a smile. “Who knew?”
“Andrew. About what you said, a minute ago...” She shifted nervously.
He put his finger to her lips. “I don’t want you to respond to that. Not yet, anyway.”
*** *** ***
The next morning, Andrew was interrupted while getting dressed as someone began to pound on his door. Thinking it an emergency he didn’t bother buttoning his shirt.
He f
lung the door open and Thomas Engel barged into his home. Andrew had a sick feeling creep into his belly. “Has something happened to Cameron?” Panic raised the level of his voice.
Thomas swung around. “You! That’s what’s apparently happened.”
Andrew looked baffled, but sensing nothing was truly wrong, he slowly closed the door.
“Have a seat.” He gestured towards a chair.
“I’ll have no such thing. I hear a rumor that you are courting my sister!”
“It’s no rumor,” Andrew said matter-of-factly and began buttoning his shirt. “Though I was going to make my way over to your home and ask for your blessing.”
“My blessing? What for?” Thomas bellowed.
Andrew let out a short laugh then cleared his throat. “I find it hard to understand where your concern is.” He finished the last button and reached for his shoes.
“My concern is for my sister—be it late, I know. She’s only nineteen years old.”
“She’s nearly twenty.”
“How old are you?” Thomas demanded. He crossed his arms, spread his feet apart and took on an intimidating stance.
Andrew barely cast him a glance. “Twenty-eight.”
“And a preacher to boot. Does she know how old you are?”
“Of course she does. She also knows I’m a preacher, by the way.”
Wordlessly, Thomas sat down.
Andrew felt compassion for the man. He pulled his shoes on and joined him. “Thomas, if you want to be a part of her life, and you’re trying to make up for everything, you can’t go attacking those she’s close to. Have you talked to her?”
Thomas looked at him blankly.
“I won’t take her from you. She wouldn’t let me anyway. I’ve never seen her so happy. She loves you, you’re her family.”
Thomas hung his head and stared at the floor. “I just got her, and I figured on having her around for a while.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lincoln County Series 1-3 Page 11