Between the Boys (The Basin Lake Series Book 1)

by Stephanie Vercier

  “God damn!” I yell, not knowing in what way I could have won with this. What I do know is that I can’t talk to them, not either one of them. Sure I’d love to be that guy that has a cool head and can just accept that my best friend has hooked up with the girl I’ve been in love with since forever, but I’m not.

  Right now, what I am is pissed.

  CHAPTER TEN

  PAIGE

  My call to Washington State University didn’t go well. I was on the phone with their financial aid office for close to an hour in hopes of filling the twenty-thousand-dollar void. I told them I could come up with some of the money on my own and would need help with the rest. But other than telling me it was somewhat reprehensible that I had my scholarship pulled and offering to email me another list of potential grants and scholarships, there wasn’t much they could do.

  Realistically, my only option was to apply for more student loans, but debt was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. I knew wanting to be a teacher wouldn’t be a high-paying profession, and I didn’t want to be saddled with loads of bills as I tried to build my career. Though it pained me to do so, I had to admit that perhaps I’d need to reevaluate my plans, that maybe staying in Basin Lake and going to the local community college for a year or maybe even two was going to be my best option.

  I’d had to tell Mom about losing the scholarship of course, and she’d cried. She offered me money she didn’t have, money I had to refuse because she still had Claire and Kate to think about. Grandma cried too, but then got all stoic and told me all things happen for a reason, that I was lucky to be going to college at all because when she was young, it wasn’t even really an option for her. At least everyone but Kate could be happy about Garrett and I being together, or so it seemed.

  But I don’t have time to be sad, and so I’ve looked forward, spending the last few days scrambling around town, putting in applications for extra work and enrolling at Basin County Community College. Garrett keeps telling me it will be fine. He seems to have our entire relationship planned out no matter what happens and says he’ll drive up on weekends to see me. I remind him that he’ll have lots of football practices and weekends that will eventually be filled with games, and I wonder to myself if me losing my scholarship is the universe’s way of telling me that Garrett and I aren’t meant to be more than friends.

  When I’m not trying to make more money or doing what it takes to register for school, I run… a lot. I skirt the edge of town, following desert hiking trails and running laps around the track at Basin Lake High. I think of all sorts of things while I’m under the hot summer sun, school and Garrett, but mostly I think about Evan. Since that day at Pamela’s, it’s as if he’s dropped off the face of the earth. He hasn’t spoken to Garrett or myself, even though I call and text him every night, curious and afraid of what he might actually say to me if he answered. I’ve tried talking myself out of believing that Evan feels more for me than a deep, flirty friendship. I’ve attempted to imagine that he’s upset with us because our trio is now unbalanced or that maybe he and Lexi had gotten into a giant fight before he met us at Pamela’s or any number of things that could have sent him into a spiral that day. But if those were true, he’d be angry for a few hours or overnight tops, but days?

  I delve deeper into my memories and years of friendship with Evan. There had always been flirty innuendos and physical touch, but then he’d teased other girls too—it’s just the way he could be sometimes. And other than making jokes about us dating or having sex, I’d never heard him seriously say that he was interested in dating me or having a relationship, in having a future with me that went beyond friendship. He’d been upset about Mike and I at first too, but he’d never butted in and tried to steal me away, had he?

  But was he trying to tell me in a less direct way? He’d acted so strangely the night of prom, saying things weren’t right, that he wanted to go to the lake with just me to talk. Was it to talk about us? Had Lexi and those other girls he’d dated been the place holders for me going back all the way to eighth grade? Maybe Evan Mattson is actually truly and deeply jealous that Garrett told me he loved me before he could.

  The idea of it continues to make me feel ill for a variety of reasons, but the most important being that if it’s true, I can’t very well dump Garrett now and say it’s because I’ve always only really entertained the idea of being with Evan.

  And I do love Garrett, don’t I? I’m sure I must. It’s the thought that pops back into my head when I’m finishing up a run and heading down the quiet, dead-end road to my house. It’s about the time I start second-guessing everything all over again, erasing all of the reasons I think Evan is in love with me and replacing them with factual evidence to the contrary.

  “How was your run?” Mom asks me as she comes through the front door with two armfuls of groceries, her hair thrown up into a ponytail and her wardrobe consisting of nothing more than short yoga pants and a tank top. A heat wave will do that to you.

  “How do you know I went running?” I’m freshly showered, and my hair is already dry, and I’d just started looking for last ditch scholarships on my laptop but am now up and helping her with the bags.

  “Saw you sprinting down Sagewood Road on my way to the store. I hope you’re wearing sun block and drinking plenty of fluids.”

  “I am,” I say as I empty the bags of canned vegetables and boxes of macaroni.

  “You’ve been running a lot lately.” She folds up the first empty bag. “Between that and work and you hanging out with Garrett, I’ve hardly seen you these past few days.”

  “One less mouth to feed.” I shrug and fold up the next empty bag.

  Mom looks at me with concern. “I know it’s a letdown about WSU, but honey, you can’t run yourself ragged trying to make up for that.”

  “I’m not,” I say, even though I know she’s probably right. I’ve done full shifts at Pamela’s every day this week and done ten-mile runs before or after work. I’ve been pouring over class schedules at BCCC and doing whatever preparatory work I can for the classes. And then of course I’ve been hanging out with Garrett, whether sitting in his truck or the shore of the lake or kissing him in one of the barns on his family farm, trying to be the girlfriend I think he deserves. It’s all kind of exhausting.

  “Evan will come around,” she says.

  I look at her with surprise. “Evan? How did you know about that?”

  “Claire is kind of a snoop,” she says. “She said you’ve been leaving cryptic messages for him, and I have no problem ratting her out and telling you she cracked your phone code and was digging through your texts.”

  “Mom!”

  “I know. I know. I’ve already reprimanded her, but she’s actually been worried about you. She told me so.”

  I shake my head. Another year of living under my Mom’s roof means another year without the privacy of an adult. And only Claire would refer to my messages to Evan that consist of, “Hey, everything okay?” or “Evan, we miss you,” as cryptic.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  I head back to the dining table and sit down. It’s hot as hell outside, and even though I just took a shower and am wearing nothing more than a tank and some running shorts, I feel like I could melt. “Evan hates me.”

  “I doubt that.” Mom pulls the chair out across from me and sits. “If he hated you, he wouldn’t be acting this way.”

  I look up at her. “I just never thought he’d react to me and Garrett the way he has. It’s confusing.”

  “Whatever Evan is feeling… I can imagine it’s complicated.”

  “I know,” I say. “I get that. I get that maybe he feels about me what I feel about him, but if he doesn’t tell me, how will I ever know for sure?”

  Mom smiles. “I knew it.”

  I shake my head like she’s lost me.

  “You and Evan,” she says. “You just said something about him feeling the way about you that you do about him?”

  “Oh,
I said that out loud?”

  “Yes, you did.” Mom has the look of having just coaxed a delicious secret out of someone. “And if you have feelings for him and not Garrett, then it’s better to make that clear now.”

  “But I can’t,” I say, nervous at even the thought. “Garrett’s been so happy these last few days, and I couldn’t dump him for something I’m not even sure is real.”

  “But maybe you should,” she says. “You’ve got to find out what’s going on in Evan’s head.”

  “And what if… what if he says he’s in love with me too?”

  “Then you have to search your own heart to figure out if you want to be with him or Garrett. You have to decide what makes you happy.”

  I sigh and look out the window, and Mom takes the opportunity to get up and pull a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge. She takes two glasses down from the cupboards, fills them and sets them down on the table.

  I don’t realize how thirsty I am until I’ve drunk down the entire thing in less than thirty seconds.

  “I’m afraid to ask him,” I admit, my palate quenched. “That is of course if he’d actually respond to me.”

  “For your own sanity, you’ve got to do everything you can to get a clear answer.” She takes my hand. “And then you can move forward with whatever it may be. Just promise me you’ll stop wearing yourself down to try to not think about it, okay?”

  I ease back into my chair. Mom is right, but only partially. Running myself into the ground doesn’t necessarily quiet my thoughts. I still exhaust my brain and wake up in the middle of the night with worry about why Evan is avoiding me or what his true feelings might be. And yet I’m not willing to trip all over myself just to get an answer, not any longer at least. I’ve left messages for him every night, asking if he’s okay and offering to talk, but he’s offered nothing in return, and I’m tired of it.

  “I promise,” I finally say. And at that moment, I also promise myself to stop looking for answers that may never come. And letting that pressure go actually offers me some relief.

  “I have a surprise for you.” It’s the first day of me trying to stop worrying about Evan, and I’m halfway through my four-hour shift at Pamela’s when Garrett calls me.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “I’ll pick you up after work. You get off at noon, right?”

  I was planning to get home via my legs and running shoes, but in an effort to focus more on the guy who hasn’t shut me out of his life, I say, “Sure, I’ll be ready for you.”

  After we hang up, I get back to wiping down tables and serving up coffee, smoothies, bagels and donuts with a smile on my face. I even catch myself humming at one point. And for the first time since Monday, I’m not checking my phone every five minutes to see if Evan has finally responded to me.

  The place is dead by eleven thirty, and I ask Pamela if I can leave early and go to the boutique next door. With only a few customers, she seems okay with not having to pay me for that last half hour.

  Mom, the girls, and I usually do our biggest clothes shopping in Spokane, once or twice a year since the selection and the deals are ten times better than they are in Basin Lake. So, I’ve never actually bought anything from Liza’s, the boutique owned by Pamela’s cousin, but I find myself wanting to be dressed in something other than my work jeans and blue T-shirt when Garrett picks me up. He’s made such an effort with me over these past few days, understanding when I’d pull away from him mid kiss and not pressuring me to hang out with him longer so that I could get a run in. And now I feel like he deserves something, anything, to show that I’m making an effort too.

  The bell above the door chimes as I head into Liza’s. She greets me, and I feel a little odd being the only customer in her shop, feeling her eyes on me even though she’s moved back to the register. While I’ve been taught to dig around for deals and find the clearance rack, I’m drawn to an overpriced lavender sundress and a pair of heeled sandals that are a perfect fit. I force myself not to focus on the total at the register and instead think about how good the dress will look for the guy who actually isn’t afraid to tell me he loves me. I’m all about living for the moment today, and since my plans for WSU seem to be shot, I might as well spend a few of the dollars I’d been saving up.

  “Wow!” Garrett looks me up and down as I stand outside Pamela’s in the sundress with thin shoulder straps and a hem that barely covers my thighs.

  “Hey,” I say, sauntering up to him and wrapping my arms around his strong shoulders and breathing him in. He smells of soap and hay, and it’s totally who Garrett is, a simple, sweet guy who loves to farm and loves with such ease.

  We wait until we’re in his truck to kiss. I’d been going through the motions all week with him, kissing him back but not putting my heart into it because my heart and my mind were so wrapped up in my worries about Evan. But today, I’ve set that aside, and allow myself the luxury of embracing the warmth I now feel between my legs and wondering what it might be like to go further than just kissing. But that’s not going to happen while we’re parked on Main Street, and Garrett senses this same thing. We pull away from one another, and he cranks the ignition and starts driving.

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask as he drives along Sagewood Road. He’s nicely dressed in a button-up cotton dress shirt, well fitting khaki pants and chestnut colored dress shoes. It’s a bit different from his usual wardrobe but still offers no concrete indication to our destination.

  He weaves his fingers through mine and says, “You’ll figure it out. It’s part of my plan to make sure you come back here with me after college.”

  I laugh at that. “If I ever leave here at all.”

  “You will, babe. We’ll make sure you do.”

  Once we head north, I know we’re going to the lake, and sure enough he takes that gravel road we were just on the other night toward our private shore, the place where he told me he was in love with me and where I’d come back with a less than stellar response. He drives his truck further beyond our hangout spot and deeper along what looks like a rocky wagon trail, through a grove of trees and finally to a clearing at the shore where he stops. Curiosity getting the best of me, I climb out before he can come around and open the door for me.

  Garrett has laid out a huge plaid blanket near the water. It’s staked on each corner, and there are pillows and a picnic basket.

  He meets me in front of the truck and takes my hand.

  “Garrett…” I’m kind of lost for words. Mike was great for mini trips to Spokane and perfecting my kissing skills, but he’d never done something like this for me.

  His grin spreads from ear to ear, knowing by the look on my face that he’s succeeded in surprising me.

  “I packed everything you like,” he says, kneeling down on the blanket and opening the basket, “potato salad, coleslaw and… veggie burgers.” He reveals the veggie patties and makes a face—he’s such a meat and potatoes kind of guy that I’m not sure he’ll ever get used to the fact that I’ve become a staunch vegetarian.

  “This is so sweet.” I kneel down next to him and kiss him on the lips. “Really, Garrett. It’s just so adorable.”

  He chuckles. “I hope you’ll see me as more than adorable.” He goes in for another kiss, and this one lasts longer than the first. Before it can get any heavier, I pull away. Someone has to eat all of this food and drink the sparkling apple cider and beer Garrett must have swiped from his family’s fridge.

  Everything is really good, and I congratulate him on the veggie burger he managed to choke down. He laughs at that while he nurses a beer, our conversation flowing easily.

  At some point, I have the thought that we haven’t mentioned Evan, not once. And that’s a good thing because I think it would break up the fun I’m finally having. I’m just polishing off a piece of applesauce cake that Mrs. Hevener made when my phone rings. I don’t want to break the peace by even looking at it, but I do because it could be Mom. It could be about Grandma or one of the gir
ls.

  But it’s not of course.

  Ironically, after nearly five full days of Evan ignoring me, he calls.

  I can just tell that Garrett knows. Maybe it’s the look in my eyes that gives it away, which I’m sure must expose something between shock, elation and disappointment. I’m tempted to answer as much as I’ve ever been tempted, but I turn my phone on its face and finish off the cake.

  Like he doesn’t want to risk another intrusion, Garrett stands up and whips his shirt off. I remain in awe of his amazing body, and now that I’m officially his girlfriend, I know I’m allowed to touch him in ways I never would have before, and I want to, even if there might be someone I’d like to touch even more.

  I stand up too and loosen a strap over my shoulder.

  My phone rings again, and I ignore it.

  Garrett unbuttons his pants, pulls them down and wiggles out of his shoes before I can even get the next strap of my dress down.

  “Here,” he says, putting his big, strong hands on either side of my shoulders, turning me slightly and unzipping the back of my dress. The fact that Evan is trying to get a hold of me allows him to creep back into my mind—I can still picture him on prom night taking his shirt off while Garrett unzipped me.

  Stop thinking about him.

  My dress slides down my body into a heap around my now bare feet so that I’m standing in front of Garrett with nothing more than a pink lace bra and some flowery boy shorts.

  He looks at me hungrily, and when I dare to look below the waist of his boxers, I can see how truly hungry he is and begin to imagine that I’m about to lose my virginity to a guy who’s been my friend forever. It’s all happening so fast, and I’m not sure I’m ready.