Back to You

by Raquel Lyon

  And then there was Matt. She thought she’d never see him again. It had taken a long time for her to get over him, and then he’d turned up at her mother’s wedding looking like some sort of Greek god, forcing her to relive their painful breakup and telling her she was the only girl for him. What was the deal with that? Was it the truth, or was he just fucking with her? Did he really want her back? Did she want him back? She hated her body for the way it was reacting to seeing him again, when her mind was all over the place. She’d thought she had things figured out—end things with Garrett and concentrate on her career—but now Matt was here, like unfinished business, messing with her head. She was so confused.

  Deciding it was now warm enough to show a little skin, she peeled off her dress and stretched out on the towel, thinking about Matt.

  Matt had been her first real boyfriend. Before him, she’d had plenty of attention from other guys, but they’d only been after one thing, and she’d wanted to feel loved before she put out. Matt was different. He’d gained her friendship and showed an interest in her schoolwork, before the night he’d discovered her standing under a lamppost, waiting for her friend, Jessie, who’d stood her up. He’d suggested they go bowling together, and that night had turned into their first date. Over the following weeks, there had been many more dates. He’d told her he loved her, and she’d loved him too. She was ready to take their relationship further and thought he was only holding back out of respect for her. She’d wanted to let him know it was okay. So, one evening, she’d made the first move. He’d tried to stop her, but she’d been persistent, convinced he’d forget his chivalry once he found out how eager she was.

  It was the biggest mistake she’d ever made.

  ***

  Matt scanned the almost empty beach. Where was she? Had she changed her mind and decided it was too early to catch the rays? He should have followed her, after all. He was sick of playing hide-and-seek.

  Turning back towards the cliff, he noticed a pair of feet sticking out from behind a rock.

  Gotcha.

  Debating what to say, he stood over her, blocking out the sun, and waited to see how long it would take for her to realise he wasn’t a cloud. He hoped it would be a while. She was practically naked, and he was enjoying the view. Unfortunately, it was only a few seconds.

  Nessie shielded her eyes and squinted up at him. “You again?”

  Hmm, she was still angry. Matt chuckled. He’d missed her fiery temper, but he’d also missed her dimples and he was dying to see them again. “Can’t we get past the animosity and talk like two civilised people?”

  “I’m not very good company, at the moment,” she said, sitting up and putting on a pair of sunglasses with flowers on the frame before hugging her knees to her chin.

  Despite the towel being too small for two, Matt sat on the end and crossed his legs. “Why?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  Something was troubling her. Was it just his presence or something else? Matt was curious to know. “I’m a good listener.”

  She turned to look out over the waves. “Maybe, but you make me uncomfortable.”

  She wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable, Matt thought, drinking in her creamy skin with only the tiniest pieces of orange fabric covering the best bits. His shorts were tightening just looking at her arms squeezing her boobs together, creating curved mounds he itched to run his mouth over. She had more flesh on show than he’d ever seen while they were together. Even that one awkward time they’d had sex they’d been fully clothed, apart from strategically moved underwear, and he longed to see her naked, with her small but perfect breasts displayed just for him. Yes. He was definitely uncomfortable.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Because it seems as though every time I turn around, recently, you’re there, and it’s weird. I haven’t seen you for four years, and now you’re everywhere, and I don’t know who you are anymore.” She turned to face him, and her eyes ran down his body. “I mean, look at you. You’re Matt but you’re not Matt. We were close, and now we’re strangers. I don’t spill my problems to strangers.”

  “Problems?”

  Nessie stared down at her toes, brushing sand from one foot with the other, the frown on her face revealing she thought she’d said too much.

  Matt wanted Nessie to feel comfortable around him, and it saddened him to discover she wasn’t. Noticing the big, floppy hat lying on the towel, he had an idea. He picked it up to place it on his head, and then reached to take the sunglasses from her nose to put them on. If making a fool of himself was what it took to get her to relax, so be it. “Just pretend I’m one of your girlfriends,” he said, pouting.

  Finally, her dimples appeared and she bit on her finger to suppress her laughter. “You’re crazy.”

  “Who is, the old me or the new me?”

  “I don’t know. Both?”

  “I thought if we spent some time together, you could get to know the real me.”

  She thought for a moment, and then looked up through her lashes. “I’d like that.”

  “Great.” Matt beamed.

  Nessie pulled the hat from his head. “But only if you promise never to wear this again. Or these.” She reached up to take the sunglasses too, and they snagged on his ear.

  Matt’s hand shot out to help her, and for one brief moment, they were holding hands like they used to. He wanted to hang on to it, to pull her into his arms and make love to her right there and then on the beach, the way it should have been the first time, but he saw the nervousness in her eyes and let her hand fall. It wasn’t time.

  He cleared his throat and ruffled his hair. “So did you have a good time last night?”

  “It was okay.”

  “Just okay? What did you do?”

  “Oh, the usual stuff: a meal, a few drinks, and then on to a club.”

  “Sounds good. Was it a happening place?” he asked, knowing the answer already.

  Nessie blew out a puff of air. “Total dive.”

  “Ah.”

  “But there was a stripper. He was kinda cool.”

  Matt knew all about the stripper, but still said, “A stripper? Really? Tell me about him.”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Oh. I think I do.” He knew she’d liked what she’d seen, and he planned to give her a little reminder. Reaching behind his head, he pulled his T-shirt off. “You don’t mind me doing this, do you?” he asked. “It’s getting a bit hot out here.”

  “Um, no.” Her voice was shaky as her eyes fixed on his chest.

  “So. This stripper…? Cheesy?” Her head shook in sideways vibrations, but her eyes didn’t move. Matt was enjoying this. Could he get her to admit she found the new Matt a turn-on? “Fat?”

  A tiny crease marred the space between Nessie’s eyebrows and she finally found her voice. “He… he looked a lot like you.”

  “Like this?” Matt straightened his back to give her a better view, enjoying her gaze.

  She bit her lip and nodded before frowning and pointing to his scar. “What’s that?”

  “This?” He ran a finger over the raised and puckered circle. “Bullet hole.”

  Nessie raised her eyebrows and let out an audible gasp. “You were shot? When?”

  “Three years ago.”

  “What happened?”

  “Drug raid. They had guns. I got in the way.”

  Nessie extended her arm and lightly touched the mark. “You could have died.”

  The feel of her fingers on his skin shot waves of desire straight to his groin. He sucked a lungful of air through his nose in a bid to quell his mounting desire. “One of my mates did. Shotgun to the face.”

  Her hands remained on his chest as she looked up with eyes full of concern. “Oh, my God. How horrible.”

  Matt was mesmerised by her lips, plump and shiny with lip gloss. He imagined running his tongue along the line of her cupid’s bow. “It was pretty horrific. The therapy helped, but I had night
mares for months. I still get them sometimes.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I lived.” He reached up instinctively to cup Nessie’s face, and she made no move to stop him. “But it made me realise how fragile life is.” His thumb smoothed down to the corner of her lip, and his fingertips danced lightly over her cheek. Being with Nessie felt right. It was where he was meant to be. “We can’t waste the time we have.”

  Nessie’s chest rose and fell heavily. Her hand hadn’t moved, and if he wasn’t mistaken, he detected longing in her eyes. How the hell was he supposed to hold back when he saw that? If he didn’t kiss her soon, he was going to explode. There was a time for conversation and a time for kissing. Surely, one small kiss wouldn’t hurt, would it?

  “Ness,” he whispered, lowering his face until their lips were only a breath away. “I’ve wanted you back, ever since I let you go.”

  Chapter Twelve

  As usual, one tiny problem and her mother was having a hissy fit. It wasn’t the hotel’s fault their suppliers had mixed up the order and didn’t have enough of the fabric her mother had chosen for the chairs’ decorative bows.

  “Mum, calm down,” Amy said. “It’s no biggie. Just choose a different colour.” She flipped over the page in the sample book. “This one, for instance, is nice.”

  “They were supposed to be periwinkle blue; the same colour as the bridesmaid dresses.”

  “No one will care,” Amy tried to reason.

  “I care. And it’s my wedding.”

  “Yes, I know, but shit happens and sometimes you’ve just got to roll with it.” She pointed to a different swatch. “What about Cambridge blue?” Amy prayed her mother would say yes. She didn’t want to spend all morning discussing organza when her gorgeous boyfriend had promised her a morning shopping for clothes. Even after four years together, she still couldn’t get enough of him, and she planned to sneakily buy something sexy to ensure his afternoon stayed occupied as well.

  “That’s green, not blue,” Cora said.

  “That’s not what it says on the label.”

  Cora shook her head as her eyes scanned the samples. “There’s nothing remotely near the correct shade.”

  “Then how about white, like the chair covers?”

  “White? You’d hardly notice the bows at all. What would be the point in that?” Cora slumped onto a chair and cradled her head in her hands. “Everything is ruined.”

  “It’s not ruined, Mum. We’ll figure something out.”

  Suddenly, Cora’s head shot up. “Vanessa. I need Vanessa. She’ll know which one to choose. Where is she?”

  Amy’s frustration rose. Her mother clearly thought her sister working in the fashion industry meant she was some sort of expert on wedding decorations. “How would I know? I haven’t seen her since last night.”

  “Well, find her. Now. She has to be good for something.”

  “Okay. Okay. Don’t stress,” Amy said, pulling her phone from her pocket. “I’ll give her a ring.”

  ***

  Captivated by the tingling of her cheek and Matt’s lips approaching hers, it took a couple of rings before Nessie realised what the noise was, and the moment was lost. She blinked and shook the sensation away, stunned she’d almost let him kiss her, and then searched in her bag to locate her phone, angry with herself for letting Matt’s hot body overcome her common sense.

  A moment later, she sighed. “Give me ten minutes.”

  “Problem?” Matt asked.

  “Just one of Mum’s crises. She needs me,” Nessie said, grateful for the distraction.

  Matt slipped on his shirt and waited for Nessie to dress and gather her belongings. “I’ll walk you back.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to.” He slid Nessie’s bag from her shoulder and hitched it onto his own.

  She thanked him with a smile, remembering when he used to do the same thing with her schoolbag.

  The short stroll back to the hotel was tensely silent. Nessie flicked sideways glances at Matt, attempting to gauge his thoughts, and she caught him doing the same with her. Whenever their eyes met, they smiled. When they stepped into the cool of the lobby, Matt handed Nessie her bag, keeping hold of the handle as she took it from him.

  “Have lunch with me?”

  “Um…” Nessie glanced around nervously. She was already at risk of being discovered by Garrett and had been hoping to surreptitiously help her mother before disappearing again. “I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

  “No rush. Come and find me when you’re done. I’m in room eighteen.” He let go of the bag and walked away without waiting for an answer.

  Nessie watched him disappear into the elevator and felt oddly deflated by his absence. Did he honestly expect her to turn up at his room? Did she want to?

  The sound of Garrett’s Irish lilt, increasing in volume down the stairway, forced her feet to move, and she hurried to the conference room where her mother was waiting.

  “About time,” Cora said brusquely. “I thought you’d got lost.”

  “I said I’d be ten minutes, and I’ve been…” Nessie glanced at her watch. “Well, okay, fifteen.” She detached the bag from her shoulder and placed it on the table. “But I’m here now. What’s the big drama?”

  Amy sighed heavily. “Bows.”

  “Bows?”

  “For the chair backs. The hotel ordered a hundred metres, but they’ve only been sent fifty, and now the suppliers have run out,” Amy said, swivelling the sample book to face Nessie. “Mum has to choose a different colour, but she can’t make her mind up.”

  Turning her back, Cora threw her arms in the air. “Because none of them match the bridesmaid dresses.”

  “Let me see.” Nessie sat down, opened the book, and came to a quick decision. “Easy,” she said. “Gold.”

  Cora’s head rotated slowly. “Gold?”

  “Yes,” Nessie said. “The same as the embroidery on the bodice of your dress. Get fifty metres of gold and alternate it with the blue you already have.”

  Cora chewed her cheek, thinking. “That could work.”

  “Decision made,” Amy said. “Go and sort it, Mum.” She waited for her mother to show signs of movement. “Now, Mum, now.”

  “Yes.” Cora picked up the book and clutched it to chest. “Thank you, Vanessa.” She took a step, and then stopped. “Oh. I almost forgot. Your grandparents will be arriving soon, and they can’t wait to see you again, so we’ll be having a family lunch. Just you two. No boyfriends.”

  “But, Mum, I’m going to the mall today,” Amy protested.

  “Then you’d better make it a quick visit. Twelve o’clock in the dining room.”

  “Well, that’s my day ruined,” Amy said, once they were alone. “How about yours?”

  “I’m kind of looking forward to seeing the olds. Besides, it gives me a valid alibi.”

  “Yeah, I forgot about that. How was it with Garrett last night?”

  “Awful. I thought it would be easy, but now I’ve made my decision, I can’t stand to be around him anymore, let alone in the same bed.”

  “Then tell him. It’s not worth waiting. Just get it over with. Mum will understand.”

  “No, she won’t. You saw how she was over a few bows. How do you think she’ll react to the evening’s entertainment going AWOL?”

  “At least the boys are out tonight. I’ll ask Josh to keep the drinks flowing, and with a bit of luck, Garrett will get drunk and pass out.”

  At the mention of the boys, Matt’s face drifted through Nessie’s mind. “Ames?”

  “What?”

  “Can you keep another secret?”

  Amy pulled out the chair next to Nessie’s and sat down. “Is it as bad as the last one?”

  “Worse.”

  “Oh my God. You’re pregnant.”

  “Don’t be daft.”

  “You’ve… lost your job?”

  “No.”

  “I’m all
out then.”

  “I went to the beach this morning.”

  “Oh, wow. Big secret.”

  “I wasn’t alone.”

  “Shall I call the newspapers or were the paparazzi already there?”

  “If you’re not going to be serious, I’m not going to tell you.”

  “I’m sorry.” Amy shuffled her bottom and sat up straight with a poker face. “See, serious face. Carry on.”

  “Matt was there.” Nessie waited for a reaction. “We almost kissed.” She waited again. “He’s waiting for me in his room.” Amy hadn’t moved a muscle. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  “This is my serious face. It’s waiting for you to finish.”

  “I’ve finished.”

  “Oh. In that case, OH MY GOD! Tell me more.”

  “I would, but I have no idea what’s going on. It’s kind of creepy.”

  “Creepy how?”

  “He keeps following me and apologising.”

  “Sounds sort of cute to me.”

  “I turn around, and he’s just there. It’s weird”

  “Have you told him to get lost?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, I… um…”

  “You don’t want him to. You still have feelings for him.”

  “I-I think so.”

  “You almost kissed him, but you’re not sure?”

  “Having feelings for someone isn’t really an option for me, right now, but then again, it is Matt… sort of. What should I do?”

  “You have history together, and believe me, I know all about the pull of that, but only you can figure out what you want.”

  “That’s it? No advice?”

  “That is my advice. But here’s a bit more.” She ran her finger over the tabletop. “Be careful. I’d love to believe his apologies are sincere, but I don’t want to see you get hurt again. If he wasn’t right for you then, what makes you think he is now?”