Then & Now

by Kimberly Lowe

  Cocking an eyebrow she leveled her eyes on him. “Meaning?”

  “’Tis comfortable, warm, inviting…Just like you.” His voice had dropped to a seductive rasp while his eyes roamed over her.

  “Oh!” She blushed. “Thank you.”

  Suddenly the mood changed in his eyes as he set the envelope on her coffee table. “How serious are you and John?”

  Caught off guard by the question as well as the expression on his face she didn’t know how to answer him right away. “We are getting married next year.” She said flabbergasted by the feel of regret she had by telling him.

  He nodded while he kept his eyes trained on her. “Ye happy?”

  No. Shocked by the voice in her head she turned from him. “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Because, I’m wondering why anyone would leave such a beautiful woman alone for another man to steal away. If ye were mine I would have ye at arm’s length at all times.” The honesty in his voice nearly floored her.

  “So, someone like you wouldn’t take me from you?” She asked without looking at him.

  “I wouldna give him the chance.” He rumbled which brought her eyes back to his. “Besides ye can’t steal something that is willing to leave.”

  “I never said I was willing to leave.” She said defensively.

  “Ye didna have to.” The thickness of his statement said more than his words ever could. He saw it. Practically read her like a book made for a preschooler. He knew more about her then most of her friends and he only had three days to do so.

  Sinking back into herself she backed away from him. How unfair was it for someone who was only evaluating the situation figure out more than those who were living it?

  Clearing her throat she pointed to the thin, white envelope. “Thanks for dropping by. I guess I will—” She was silenced by the look on his face.

  Closing the space between them in slow casual movements he kept his eyes trained on her. “I didna mean to make ye sore. I just need to know my ground.” Lifting a hand to her face he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Dropping his voice to a lower he tilted her face up to meet his. “I need to know how hard I will be fighting for you.”

  His words touched her more profoundly then any physical encounter she had ever experienced. Fight for her? Hell all she wanted was for someone to acknowledge her, and the man before her had already gone above and beyond that.

  Her heart felt as if it was going to fly right from her chest. Squeezing her eyes closed, she couldn’t help but wonder were this prince charming had come from and why he chose her to ride off on his gallant four-wheeler.

  “Why?” She whispered afraid that he would come to his senses and leave.

  Without answering her question he pressed his lips lightly against hers. She knew he was leaving the rest to her. He was only getting the ball rolling and it was up to her to direct it.

  Throwing her arms around his neck, Sophia kissed him as hard as she could. She couldn’t seem to get close enough, touch him enough, kiss him enough, and she knew she never would. He had snuck in without her knowing and had taken her right out of the trap she had built for herself.

  “I want you, Sophia.” The thickness in his voice had grown deeper as his eyes flickered with wild blue desire. “Please…”

  Smiling at the desperation on his face, she kissed him again. “Follow me.”

  She led him to her room with sweet anticipation. Leaving him at the entrance of her small bedroom she made her way along the bed to the lamp resting on her nightstand. Her hands shook as she flipped on the light. The room was suddenly bathing in a warm glow which gave her a moment to think about what was happening. For an instant she gave what was about to happen a second thought.

  Though Tristan, who seemed unfazed by the soft glow, was swiftly at her side. His arms encircled her body bringing her as close as he could. “Ye’re thinking way too much.” Without hesitation he was kissing her once again enhancing the sexual tension between them.

  Her thoughts were instantaneously forgotten while his mouth did wicked things to jaw and throat. His hands had made their way down her back, then up under the thin fabric of her t-shirt. She felt the air catch in her lungs as he removed her shirt in one flawless move.

  She wasn’t sure how she ended up on the bed, though the cool sheets against her flush body felt wonderful. All she could do was watch as he removed his own shirt and jeans. She arched her eyebrow as she realized he hadn’t been wearing any underwear.

  He grinned and shrugged lightly. Lowering himself over her, he kissed, teased and nibbled on her eager lips. Enthusiasm filled her as she cupped his face. His body was so warm and solid she couldn’t help but press herself more tightly against him.

  His kisses were masterful as he tasted her with his tongue. Licking his way down her over heated body, he left goose bumps in his wake. He carefully removed each strap of her bra taking his time exposing each breast for his viewing pleasure.

  She could only describe what he was doing as exquisite torture while his fingers gently twisted and pinched each nipple. There was no argument on how talented he truly was. It was as if someone had told him how to handle her, how to unleash a bottled desire she had been too afraid to try.

  While he took his time playfully handling each breast she moaned in agony from the lack of being touched somewhere else. She wanted that talented mouth everywhere at once. This teasing was causing an unknown ache between her legs. It was strange being in a position to wait or plead. She had become so used to the quick, vacant foreplay that her body felt as if would fly apart with all this extra attention.

  Finally his mouth and hands moved downward greedily caressing and kissing each section of bare flesh until he reached the jean obstacle that stood in the way of his wandering mouth. He quickly unfastened, unzipped and completely removed her pants and panties without any frustration or jerky actions. It was as if he had all the time in the world to worship her.

  “Open yer legs, beautiful. Let me look at ye.” His deep voice rumbled over her body making her shiver slightly.

  Normally a request such as his would have made her blush and shy away. Not this time. His eyes burned too intensely, while his body shook vigorously with his held back desire. Her legs fell apart naturally allowing him total access.

  He made a cavernous noise that came from somewhere within him. “Oh, Sophia….” He growled. “Ye’re more perfect then I had imaged.”

  Ever so lightly he ran the back of his fingers along her bare folds. The simple touch nearly sent her through the roof. The sensitive space between her trembling thighs had never been more responsive. Lifting her hips off the bed she pushed upward into his hand.

  He chuckled at her impatience, and then slid one finger into her tender, wetness. He worked that one digit so vigorously she felt every molecule scream with excitement. Her gasps and moans offered him a more intimate request, which he acknowledged devilishly.

  Pressing his lips against her inner thigh, he kissed his way to her throbbing center. There he found the spot she craved his mouth the worst. With his uncanny expertise he sucked, licked, and tickled her small bud of desire until she came apart with the most powerful orgasm she had ever experienced.

  He gently covered her body with his own. Kissing her softly he waited patiently for her to come back down from her erotic fog. As soon as her eyes connected with his he slowly pushed himself inside her. Crying out she wrapped her legs around his only to bring him that much closer.

  It felt so wonderful to finally have him she couldn’t control her hips from wiggling just right to get a better feel of his incredible shaft. He smiled at her movements. Shifting her slightly he was able to hit and rub all the right spots sending her over the edge.

  Tristan could honestly say that watching her come was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her lips had turned a deep shade of red from the rush of release reminding him of ripe cherries. She had squeezed her eyes closed while her delicate
features expressed a well loved woman.

  Her body contracting around him and the pure pleasure on her face caused him to spill deep inside her. Calling out he buried his head into the hallow of her neck. Once he came out of the heated haze he kissed up her neck and along her jaw. He took those cherry colored lips tenderly, allowing her come back to him gradually.

  Rolling them onto their side, Tristan grabbed the comforter and wrapped them both up carefully. She snuggled deeper into his arms and sighed which had him holding her a little closer. He knew she had forgotten everything for a while as she simply basked in the soft afterglow of their lovemaking.

  As he wrapped a single tendril of her hair around his finger he stared at the ceiling. There in the quite of her bedroom he let the realization finally hit him. He was in love with her. Soul deep. He knew he would fight for her the moment he saw her at his store. He just didn’t expect he would lose his heart in the process.

  Though he should have. She had been tugging at the strings of his pitiful heart the second she opened that perfect mouth. Hell, making love to her had tipped the scales so dramatically he wasn’t sure how to come back from this. She had felt so amazing he could hardly keep it together.

  Now he was left with the realization that she wasn’t his. For tonight she was, but tomorrow she would belong to someone else. With a heavy heart hugged her to him as he desperately thought of something other than the inevitable. Although, no matter how many ways he could run from this he would return to the same conclusion. There was another player in this game.

  The thought had his gut twisting painfully. He never once considered the fact that the woman who owned his heart might pick the other man. All he wanted to know was if they had a chance. Now he knew that not only was there a chance but, he might just be the loser of the bunch. He didn’t know how to stop that from happening.

  “It seems that now you’re the one who is thinking too much.” She teased while pressing her soft curves against him.

  “The only thing I’m thinking about is how we can fill up our night.” He lied as he pulled her on top of his hard and ready body. Out of everything he had, tonight was his best chance.

  She smiled as she slid her body into the right spot. “Oh, really? What did you have in mind?”

  Wiggling her hips against him, he smiled knowingly. “I have a few ideas.”

  After several hours of indulging in some of the most amazing lovemaking in his life, he stood staring out of her kitchen window. He had the entire night with her and it didn’t seem like nearly enough time to have her as his own. Today she was John’s again.

  The problem he faced was if he can’t stop her from leaving him for a man—who didn’t love her—he knew he couldn’t stop her from taking his heart with her.

  God, what a mess has he gotten them into?

  “How long have you been up?” Sophia’s sweet voice sang through the small space causing his tired eyes to close.

  “Not long.” He answered as he turned to face her. Taking in her mussed hair, half mast eyelids, his shirt forming her tiny figure, right down to her bare feet with soft pink toe nails, he realized how perfect she really was.

  She giggled as she pushed some of her hair back. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I was just thinking.” He confessed while he crossed his arms in front of him.

  “Oh?” Her eyes roomed his face for a moment understanding completely. “Thinking about us and last night?”

  He nodded without a word. This wasn’t a conversation you had the morning after you give your heart away. But he had to know how much danger that heart was really in.

  “Are you having second thoughts about last night?” She asked as she dropped her eyes to the floor.

  Caught off guard by her question he stood straighter. “Nay. Not at all. In fact last night was probably the most amazing night I’ve ever had.”

  With a scarcely audible voice she hugged her arms around her middle. “But…You’re going to leave anyway.”

  “Do ye want me to?”

  “No, I want you to stay. For as long as you’re willing to.”

  “I’m willing stay for awhile, Sophia. I meant what I said earlier. I’m fighting for keeps.” He started as he came up next to her. “I’m willing to fight for you. But if you only needed last night…then I’ll go.”

  His words had her snapping to attention. “No! I don’t want you to go.”

  Lowering his mouth to hers he whispered across her trembling lips. “Tell me what ye do want, Sophia.”

  “I want….you.” She breathed.

  “What are ye saying, Sophia?” He asked placing both hands on the wall on either side of her.

  Her eyes met his with a desperation that nearly killed him to see. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I mean, this isn’t fair to you. Not now. Not when John is still in the picture.”

  “Just answer me one question. Then we will decide how fair or unfair this is. Alright?” He asked with a lump of hope wedged deep in the back of his throat.

  “Alright.” She permitted with a shaky voice.

  “Was this only sex between us?” The lump grew a little larger as she took a moment to answer. Watching her face he awaited the moment she might break his heart.

  “No, this has nothing to do with sex…this is way beyond lust or infatuation.” She swallowed.

  “That’s all I wanted to know.” Without any hesitation he took her deep into his arms and kissed her with everything he had. As he felt her melt into him, his heart gave a hard thump against his chest and he knew that there was nothing left to fear.

  John sat in the back of the office with the rest of the team waiting for Tristan to arrive so they could start the meeting. He had been on edge all week and couldn’t figure out why. Sophia hadn’t called him once, which he was grateful. She had a tendency to be a little clingy.

  “Wow, this Scottish fellow sure has you by the balls.” Matthew Trapper laughed as he took a seat next to him.

  “Excuse me?” John asked the man he had replaced as lead.

  “Did you give this any thought, Hunter?” He inquired with a nasty smirk. “You only got this job because Macklin has a thing for your woman.”

  “Could you please take your sour grapes elsewhere? I don’t have time for it.”

  “No, of course you don’t. Macklin has you running everywhere so he can have your woman to himself.” Matthew stated as he got up from the chair he had just sat in. “Just take one minute, Hunter. You’ll know I’m not blowing smoke up your skirt.”

  Shaking off the other man’s comment he went back to his notes until he noticed Sara Callings, a member of his team, staring at him. He gave her a questionable look.

  “Trapper’s right, John.” She replied quietly. “I watched them together last weekend. If I were you I’d keep my eye on the boss man.”

  “I should?”

  She nodded solemnly. “I know for a fact that he went to her house sometime this past week.”

  Getting up from his chair, John went out into the hall. If either one of them were speaking the truth he’d rip his Scottish ass in half. He felt he heat rising up his neck. Needing air he exited the back doors.

  He wished he hadn’t given up smoking as he made his way through the back parking lot. Then he heard a sound he hadn’t heard in a long time. Stopping dead in his tracks, John listened more carefully. Sure enough, there in the far corner of the lot stood Sophia laughing joyously.

  It took him a moment to take in the sight before him. To see her that happy almost killed him. It had been too long since he had seen her that way. In fact he couldn’t even remember the last time he had made her laugh that hard.

  His fist clenched tight when he saw the reason behind her enjoyment….Tristan Macklin. He wanted to knock the man into the ground. But he couldn’t move. Watching them, painfully, he witnessed her reaction to the other man. His heart slammed to a dead stop as he realized how happy she was.

  In that moment he saw
it. She wasn’t his anymore.

  Sophia entered the corner deli knowing that she had to do something about John. She would rather get a root canal without the anesthesia then do what she was about to do to him. But, over the last few days she realized how completely unfair she had been to him for the last few years.

  Her love for John had diminished. Regrettably she didn’t realize it until Tristan came into the picture. Although she would always love him for the memories and for all the firsts, her growing feelings for Tristan proved that she would never love him the way he should be loved.

  She knew that continuing with Tristan wasn’t fair to John for the obvious reasons. But it was also unfair to Tristan for the more illogical ones. Tristan deserved a clean start. While John needed a clean break. However, when she told Tristan that she had to call it off with John before it went any further between them, she realized that she had the very real problem of not wanting to let Tristan go for any amount of time. She wanted him. Not for tonight or a few weeks, or even a few years. She wanted him forever.

  It seemed almost irrational that she could jump from one man to the other without a moment to think or heal. Yet, in the six years she had been with John she had never felt more alive, more loved then she did with Tristan.

  In the last three years her relationship with John had become more like a friendship with benefits than a loving committed relationship. And maybe that was why she had felt so trapped. She knew their love had died somewhere along the way and didn’t know how to handle it from where she stood.

  “Hi.” John’s voice plowed deep into her back.

  She turned slowly, suddenly nervous. “Hello.”

  “Are you hungry?” He asked as he pointed to the overhanging menu.

  Shaking her head she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

  “Yeah, neither am I.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he gestured to a table next to them.

  She took the chair closest to the door feeling the coward in her willing to bolt. He took the opposite chair folding his arms in front of him. Though she tried to smile at him she knew it was a weak effort.