Sweet Pretence

by Jacqueline Gilbert

  She swung back to David, who was having difficulty with his mouth.

  'Actually, Freddy,' he said gravely, 'this couldn't be termed a tantrum, more a major eruption.'

  Joe remained silent.

  Freddy bit off an exclamation and ran fingers through her hair. 'We can't make any decisions until we've seen the rushes. Surely Nina understands that? We are, after all, intending to give the flavour of these rehearsals as well as the development, warts and all. You'll have to tell her that. I'm sorry I can't be more explicit.'

  Joe gave a nod and opened the door for her to pass. He went straight into rehearsal, ignoring the speculative looks exchanged by the cast and crew. Nina refused to catch their eye and threw herself into her speech, giving an exceedingly good performance.

  'I did wonder if you'd let Madam off the hook,' murmured David.

  'You didn't expect me to, did you?' retorted Freddy.

  'No, but I wouldn't have blamed you. Poor old Corey will have to bear the brunt.'

  'I'm sure he's more than capable.'

  David chuckled. 'It was a humdinger of a row, Freddy, but you'll be able to see for yourself when we watch the rushes.'

  Freddy did see, and although it was not too clear why Nina had lost her temper, whatever it was that had triggered it, all hell had been let loose. Freddy ran the film back and re-ran it, watching Joe intently. She could read nothing from his features to give a clue as to what he had been thinking while it had been going on.

  When she switched off the projector and David put on the light, she remarked, 'As you said, some humdinger. I can understand why she doesn't want it broadcast to the nation!' She grinned. 'What a pity we don't feel justified in using it.' She thought for a moment. 'It might be interesting to use that long shot from camera three for a few seconds.'

  'I thought as part of the background to the opening credits,' suggested David, and Freddy laughed, shaking her head reprovingly.

  'How wicked you are, David!'

  'She's a spoilt little madam,' excused David, 'and the long shots are rather good. We'll try it and see what it looks like, shall we?'

  Nina came up to Freddy the following day, asking if any decision had been reached.

  Freddy said, 'I doubt we'll use it, Nina, and if we do it will only be for a few seconds, just to show the tensions. Nothing you need worry about.'

  'I should like to be the judge of that,' Nina replied coldly, and called Joe. He came over, the scenic designer trailing after him With swatches of materials in his hands, their discussion interrupted.

  'Joe, Miss Leigh won't give me a definite answer,' Nina told him, slipping her arm through his in a distinctively personal manner. 'I had hoped she'd be able to.'

  'I warned you not to expect anything cut and dried, Nina,' Joe said patiently, and Freddy thought it time to have her say.

  'I'm afraid I can't be more definite,' she said firmly and would have given a great deal to know what Joe was thinking. Could he be attracted to someone like Nina Welsh, she wondered, beautiful and talented, yet selfish and spoilt? As she watched them return to the rehearsal Freddy decided darkly that artistic tantrums were not confined to just actors. If they didn't watch out she would throw one herself!

  She turned to go and saw that David and the crew were grinning, and she realised she had been on camera. She pulled a face at them and left. CHAPTER EIGHT

  FREDDY fell in love with Beaugency the moment she saw the beautiful bridge over the wide, graceful Loire, its waters bubbling over boulders scattered around the base of the perfectly symmetrical arches. If the bridge wasn't enough to capture her, there was the town itself, with its grey rough-stone buildings and narrow cobbled streets. Freddy had arrived two days earlier, before everyone else, and most of her work was now done, all of it preparatory, ensuring that the filming would run smoothly. Today she had fixed up a storage-room to house their equipment and had looked over and confirmed accommodation for the crew.

  She was lodging in a small boarding house whose windows opened out on to an attractive flower-edged street. It was a delightful June day, and as she leaned out of one of these windows Freddy knew that she was really only marking time until Joe arrived. It was ridiculous but true, and needed to be stated. She felt neither in control over herself or her future. He had managed to invade the physical space inside her head and do treacherous things to her heart and body. She found she was constantly going off in a daydream—even the inner exhilaration she felt when she saw him, the warmth that spread through her, she was beginning to accept as normal. Freddy glanced at her watch and withdrew from the window. Here she was, mooning over Joe when she should be working. Gradually, over the next couple of hours, the Queen's and Atticus people began to arrive and things began to get hectic as she directed her own team into parking spaces and hotels. The town was wearing a festive air and was thronged with holidaymakers—hopefully, some of them would be making up the audience of Othello.

  Freddy bumped into Joe, literally, as she was coming out of one of the offices in the chateau and her heart leaped into her throat as, for a second, they came into contact. They both apologised and Joe swept his eyes over her. Taking in the slight tan she had acquired during the two days, he drawled, 'Been lazing in the sun, Fred?'

  His eyes were amused as she opened her mouth indignantly to deny she had been anything but lazy, and then she bit the words back, laughed, and gave him the tip of her tongue as an answer. She went on her way, feeling ridiculously happy to have seen him.

  The Atticus team, headed by Patrick, descended, en masse, at one of the town's bars, and Freddy answered innumerable questions and the final details were ironed out. Thankfully, despite her daydreaming, everything seemed to have been dealt with satisfactorily.

  The following morning the courtyard of the chateau was a hive of industry. Freddy was sitting in a sunny corner, a hat pulled down to shade her face, watching what was going on. Liz slipped into the seat next to her and the two girls smiled a greeting. Joe was standing in the middle of the courtyard, frowning down at the cobbles, obviously puzzling how to overcome a problem.

  'I don't envy Joe,' remarked Liz quietly, 'he has a difficult job without much time to do it in.' She glanced thoughtfully from Freddy's face to Joe, who was now getting things moving again, the problem resolved:

  'He'll do it,' Freddy claimed confidently. 'Is Adam with you?'

  'He's in the chateau, organising where we can store our wardrobe. If it rains it will be awfully difficult getting the costumes dry, they're all so thick and cumbersome.'

  Freddy turned her face to the blue sky. She was wearing a thin, strappy top, cut low back and front in pale yellow, with a floral full skirt. Her legs were bare and she had sandals on her feet. Her hair, for coolness, she had twisted up under the hat. 'I don't think it will rain,' she said, 'the weather seems very settled.'

  They fell silent again, watching the play. It was the scene where Othello, in a fit of jealous madness, smothers Desdemona, and it ran without Joe stopping the action.

  When Nina fell lifeless on to the mound of cushions heaped on a dais, Liz said softly, frowning a little, 'They're good, aren't they?' She waited for Freddy's nod of agreement and went on, 'I wish I liked Nina better.'

  Liz so rarely said anything critical of anyone that Freddy turned a surprised face her way. Liz shrugged. 'Success can come too early for some people, and I'm afraid Nina's become big-headed. She's pretty and talented, but she can be a real pain. However, she's off to make a film in Spain when Othello finishes.' Liz's eyes were guileless as she gazed at Freddy, although her brain was ticking over like mad, an idea growing.

  'Really? I didn't know that.' Freddy became lost in thought, her eyes following Joe. He was pointing directions to his stage manager for the drapes to be moved. When it was done to his satisfaction he crossed to one of the pillars that made up the colonnade and leaned against it, hands in pockets, chin low as he watched the sword fight now in progress. His arms and legs were bare and tanned and he w
as wearing a much washed T-shirt and cut-off jeans, with canvas shoes on his feet and a battered denim hat on his head, for the courtyard was a sun-trap.

  Freddy sighed without knowing she did so, and Liz chewed her bottom lip, interest quickening as she twigged who had caused the sigh. She decided to do some testing, and said, 'Adam told me about Nina's little outburst.'

  'Not so little,' observed Freddy with a grin. Joe had turned and was looking their way. Her pulse quickened. Was he coming over to speak? No. He , swung away and began to talk to the carpenter. 'I hope Adam wasn't too cross that I couldn't say anything definite about cutting it,' she added anxiously.

  'Quite the reverse. He knew you couldn't. Joe was furious you even had to be asked, but he thought it politic to keep Nina happy.'

  'Joe did?' The flecks of green in Freddy's eyes seemed to lighten as she turned to Liz.

  'Uh-huh—he made a few cryptic remarks to Adam about it.'

  Freddy hid her delight and her spirits lifted. Joe had understood and approved. Well, of course he had! He was, after all, a professional, like herself. Why on earth should she have supposed otherwise?

  'Have you enjoyed doing the Queen's programme?' asked Liz idly, and Freddy smiled and . said warmly that she had. 'Adam was most impressed by the bit he's seen, the David Herrick bits, of course. He's also impressed by the way you've handled things, Freddy, which I think is nice to know. He was glad he listened to Joe.'

  'How do you mean?'

  Liz shrugged. 'When Patrick said they were interested, Joe told Adam to ask for you specifically. Said you were good. And now you've proved it,' and she beamed her congratulations. 'I'm glad you're coming to St Julien,' she went on. 'We shall be going to Paris on the Thursday, so you can have the place to yourself from then. Come on the Wednesday, as planned, and we can show you round locally. Patrick and Dinah are going to Italy, I understand.'

  Freddy nodded. She had heard the news with some relief. She had feared they would be at St Julien too, but now she could look forward to those few days without any reservations.

  'Do you think you'll be lonely at St Julien all by yourself, Freddy?' Liz asked with amazing innocence. 'How about me asking Joe to join you there?'

  'Don't you dare!' Freddy swung round, horror showing on her face, a wave of red flooding throat and cheeks as she met Liz's look.

  Liz said softly, 'So you do love him still.'

  'Oh, Lizzie, you are a wretch!' Freddy groaned, mortified, and pulled the brim of her linen sunhat down over her face.

  'Adam told me that you and Joe knew each other from some years ago, and something Joe said once made me think you were not just casual friends. I promise I won't give you away, Freddy, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what the dickens are you doing, mooning over the man and doing nothing about it?'

  Freddy lifted her head and pulled a face. 'Oh, Liz, I was so mixed up when he came to Queensbridge, so frightened of falling in love with him all over again, but I thought I could cope, and it's all a mess! I've tried to keep out of his way and everything's conspired to make me do just the opposite! Lizzie, I can't understand him. He's been sweet and kind and he's lovely with Meggie, she adores him, and then he'll be perfectly beastly and practically accuses me of having an affair with Patrick. Oh, he made me so mad! And it didn't stop me falling in love with him, and if you say one word to him about how I feel, Lizzie, I'll... I'll.. .just die!' The final words came out in a deep groan.

  Liz grinned. 'Not a word shall pass my lips.' She stared across at Joe. 'He can be a closed book when he wants, but I've caught Joe looking at you a few times in unguarded moments, and I could hardly call his expression indifferent. Is whatever's keeping you apart insoluble?'

  Freddy pushed the brim of her hat up with one finger and blew out a breath, the heat in her cheeks fading slightly. 'I don't know. I think he's given me up.' She laughed low in her throat, ruefully. 'Ironic, isn't it? I tell him to leave me alone and when he does I can't bear it!'

  'Well, if Nina is one of your worries, I think you can forget her. She isn't Joe's type.' Liz tilted her head at her friend and went on, 'Why don't you sit down and just talk to him? So often we're saying one thing and meaning something completely different. Try words of one syllable for a change. And now I must go. I can see Adam waiting for me.' She covered Freddy's hand with her own for a second; the two women exchanged smiles, and Liz left.

  Freddy made her way back to the pension not long after. More than anything she wanted to talk to Joe, but now wasn't the time. She had already decided she would tell him how she felt, that she was prepared to live with him if he still wanted her. And if he did, she wouldn't think about the future, but would take what happiness she and Megan could find while it was offered them. What she would do if he turned her down she didn't allow herself to contemplate.

  The play opened to a good house. The evening was warm and dry, and the audience surprised and a little flattered to learn that they were being filmed. Dinah, seated next to Freddy, murmured, 'It's going well. Patrick should be getting some good footage.'

  Freddy nodded. Try as she might she couldn't feel totally relaxed in Dinah's company. She never had been able to and it was even more difficult since Patrick had declared himself, although her conscience was clear. She felt a stirring of pity for the Tysons. Perhaps there had been a time when each might have sought happiness with someone else, but Atticus seemed to have tied them together too securely.

  Sitting on the other side of Freddy was Joe. He was so close that his arm was touching hers. She could have found a way of moving so that it didn't, but she stayed where she was, and suddenly realised that if she could move so could Joe. That meant something, surely? She tried to concentrate on the play, but the warmth of his bare flesh overtook everything else. Yet what she felt for him wasn't merely physical, it was much more than that. She loved him for his whole self—his intellect and intelligence, his sense of humour and his compassion.

  The applause at the end of Othello was encouraging. The audience was mostly French, with a scattering of Germans, Dutch and English. As Shakespeare was so famous and English taught in most European countries, the fact that the text was in that language had not put people off from coming. As the crowd dispersed, the Queen's and Atticus people began to stand around in groups, discussing the performance.

  Freddy was with a Frenchman, one of the Festival organisers. Luckily he spoke good English, and Freddy was enjoying talking to him and his wife. Adam had ordered a buffet and wine to be served after the show, and had invited some of the French people who had been closely involved to join them.

  Patrick and Dinah wandered over and Patrick said quietly to Freddy, 'Well done! Everything was beautifully planned, as is usual when you're the producer.' He made as if to say more, but Dinah asked him a question and he gave Freddy a smile, and a nod of approval, before turning to answer his wife.

  Slightly on the outside of the group, Freddy lifted her eyes and found herself staring across the courtyard straight at Joe. Like her, he had a glass of wine in his hand, and, sharply reminiscent of their meeting at the Atticus party, he lifted the glass to her in salute. This time she returned the gesture and they both drank, their eyes still upon each other.

  How long ago the Atticus party seemed! Yet, in another way, that September evening, nine months ago, could have been yesterday. Joe began to walk slowly towards her and she went to meet him. When they were a hand reach away they stopped.

  Freddy said, 'Congratulations, Joe.'

  He inclined his head and drawled, 'You needn't spare my blushes if you want to criticise, Fred. I have a tiny feeling that you have reservations.'

  Freddy hid her surprise. How on earth had he guessed? 'I've enjoyed watching the play grow,' she admitted, 'and it's one of the best Othellos I've seen, but I can't like the play.'

  Joe's brows rose quizzically. 'Why not?'

  Actors were spilling out from the colonnade, and laughter and conversation was rising in the late
evening air. Freddy was in a sleeveless dress and Joe in a short-sleeved shirt, yet it was still warm. No one came to disturb them. They were isolated in the middle of the courtyard and Freddy was hardly aware of what was going on around her, only of Joe.

  'Because I can't bear jealousy in any form,' she replied slowly. 'It's such a degrading emotion and Shakespeare has come to the final extremes in Othello. It frightens me, in myself and in others.'

  Joe said softly, 'Well, well, I never thought I'd hear Frederica Leigh admit to being frightened.'

  'That's silly, everyone's frightened of something.'

  'I thought you were invincible, Fred, and needed no one. That's the act you put about, isn't it?' His tone was light, yet his eyes searched her face intently. Freddy had trouble meeting those eyes. Faint colour touched her cheeks and she looked down at her sandalled foot, smoothing her toe across the cobbles.

  'Only because I'm scared of making a fool of myself,' she replied, giving a rueful smile.

  'And do you ever succumb to this dangerous emotion, jealousy, Frederica?'

  She lifted her head at this, and green eyes locked with brown.

  'Yes, of course I do. Doesn't everyone?' She paused and her heartbeat quickened as she added, 'I understand Nina is going to Spain.'

  Joe's lashes lifted slightly and his face stilled. 'Do you find that interesting?'

  'I wondered if she would have you there, to show her the ropes.' There, it was out, and not so difficult after all.

  Joe's lashes came down again and he drawled, 'I have no desire to go anywhere with Nina. I have other plans.'

  A warmth was creeping through her. 'Oh?'

  'I'm building a house. In Queensbridge.'

  'Oh!' Really, she was beginning to look like a fish, mouthing 'oh' all the time!

  Joe might have been going to say more, but his name was called. 'We'll talk about this later, shall we?' he suggested, a tiny smile creasing the side of his mouth, and then he was drawn into a group of Beaugency dignitaries who were being entertained by Liz and Adam.