Holding On

by Meg Jolie

  After the ceremony, the crowd moved across town to the country club. The dinner was over and the dance had begun when Jake pulled Quinn out onto the dance floor. A slow song was playing and while guests were casting happy glances at the couple, the two of them were in their own little world.

  “Have I told you how beautiful you look?” Jake whispered in her ear. The other couples on the floor had scooted away, just a bit. They were trying to make room for Quinn and her full skirt.

  “No,” Quinn said in a teasing tone. “I don’t think so.” This was, of course, untrue. He’d told her nearly half a dozen times already.

  Still, she was having a hard time putting together in her own mind why both brothers would want her. She was decent enough looking but she didn’t consider herself a knockout. She certainly didn’t think she was worth them fighting over. But how to convince them of that? She didn’t know.

  “Well,” Jake said, taking her teasing in stride, “then I should probably tell you. You are beautiful. More beautiful than I’ve ever seen you. And that is saying a whole lot.” And while his tone was teasing, he meant every word. Jemma had been right in her assessment. Quinn looked like a princess.

  He was going to do his damndest to make every day part of her happy fairy tale.

  “I think I love you more today than I ever have,” Quinn said. She wasn’t necessarily teasing. “And that is saying a whole lot, too.”

  He leaned in and kissed her. This brought some mild jeering from those who noticed. He ignored them, only paying attention to Quinn.

  “Did you and Luke have a good talk?” he asked. He kept his voice low and his mouth near her ear.

  “Yes, I guess. I’m not sure good is exactly the word I’d use. But we talked. You knew that.” He nodded. “How much did you hear?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Jake honestly said. “Enough. I didn’t mean to listen in but…”

  Quinn gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay. It’s not like we were hiding anything.”

  “I know,” Jake said as he tucked an errant spiraling curl behind her ear. “I think it was a conversation that needed to take place. I’m glad it did.”

  “Me too,” Quinn said. Though she honestly wasn’t sure what good it did.

  “Your sister looks happy,” Jake noted.

  Quinn looked over her shoulder. Carly was dancing with Jesse. She had her arms around him and her head on his shoulder. They weren’t speaking though. Every now and again, Jesse would drop a kiss onto the top of her head. Carly looked content. More content than Quinn could remember seeing her. Jesse looked happy, too. Quinn was sure that there were some pretty strong feelings there, on both ends. If only they would both stop being so stubborn, they would see it.

  Maybe after tonight, she’ll stop pushing him away, she thought. They had been nearly inseparable the evening before. It looked like the same could be said for tonight.

  “She does look happy,” Quinn said out loud, to Jake. If only Carly would let herself be happy. If only she would let herself work things out with Jesse. But that was another matter entirely.

  She glanced around the dance floor. At Jake’s request, a string of slow songs were being played. His parents were dancing and looked so happy. Quinn hoped her marriage would be just like theirs.

  Nate and Lily also looked completely enthralled with each other. They were dancing now, gazing into each other’s eyes. Quinn had a feeling they were communicating without actually talking. They seemed that in tuned to each other. They’d met Lily’s freshman year of college and had gotten married the following summer. A few people, including both sets of parents, had commented that they’d moved too fast. But obviously that wasn’t the case. The two had been married for a few years now and they looked as in love as they always had.

  Jemma, on the other hand…Quinn couldn’t for the life of her remember the name of Jemma’s date. Quinn hadn’t met him before last night, at the groom’s dinner. And he wasn’t the date Jemma had originally planned to bring. Yet Jemma looked perfectly happy. And she probably was. Settling down was not on her list of things to do soon.

  Possibly not ever. As long as Jemma was good with that, Quinn didn’t see a problem with it.

  She let out a content little sigh. Everyone that she cared about looked so happy. Almost everyone. Because…

  Then there was Luke…After the Tabby debacle, he apparently didn’t have time to find a date. Or maybe he simply didn’t want to. He’d attended both the groom’s dinner and now the reception alone. He’d been spending most of his time on the far side of the reception area. Quinn noticed he’d been visiting with his cousins. And now he was drinking at the bar with Jake’s friend, Shane and his date.

  She wished he would’ve brought a date. He probably could’ve used the distraction. Then again, she realized sadly, maybe that was exactly why he didn’t invite anyone. It might not have been fair to her. For the most part, he’d kept his distance from Quinn so it was hard for her to tell what kind of mood he was in. She just hoped he wasn’t completely miserable.

  As if he could feel her watching him, he turned around and glanced at her. She smiled and was relieved when he raised his beer to her, as if in a silent, long-distance toast. He gave her a small smile back.

  “Your mom is another matter entirely,” Jake said.

  His words pulled Quinn back into the conversation. She snapped her gaze away from Luke. She had been so busy assessing her sister and her friends that she’d been lost for a moment. Especially when Luke had caught her eye.

  Quinn felt Jake’s laughter rumble against her chest, as it was pressed to his. She glanced at Margo. Her mother was watching them, a melancholy look on her face as she dabbed at her eyes. When Quinn glanced her way, she was treated to a small wave and then Margo clutched delicately at her chest. As if it was painful to see her little girl moving on. And possibly it was. But Quinn thought it probably wasn’t quite as painful as her mother would like to make everyone believe. She forced a smile for her mom. Her dad, on the other hand, beamed proudly at her. She grinned at him and then returned her attention to Jake.

  “I know,” she moaned. Margo had been intermittently erupting into tears all day. Pete had his suit pocket stuffed full of tissues to keep her needs met.

  “She’s kind of giving me a complex,” Jake admitted.

  Quinn wasn’t sure if he was teasing or not.

  “I marry you and she can’t stop crying about it. It’s enough to take a guy down a couple notches,” he admitted.

  “You know she’s not crying because of you,” Quinn chastised. Though she knew now he was teasing. “She’s crying because…” Quinn shrugged, not wanting to say it.

  “Yeah,” Jake said with a laugh. He had no problem saying it. “I know why she’s crying. She likes the attention.”

  Quinn smiled up at him. “She does. And she can have it.”

  If there was a person in Lanford that could manage to turn any day—any situation—into an event that was all about them, it was Margo Johnson. Quinn knew this but also knew after all of these years, there was no changing it. So she simply accepted it and moved on.

  “It’s your day. All of the attention should be on you,” Jake pointed out.

  She shrugged and then looped her arms a little tighter around his neck. “I don’t want it. I don’t need it.”

  She felt a warm hand land on her bare shoulder. She turned her head, surprised to see Luke standing there.

  “Do I get to steal a dance with the bride?” Luke asked. His eyes were on Jake. He had a cocky smile on his face.

  It looked to Quinn as though he were daring his brother to say no.

  “As long as you give her back,” Jake joked. He released Quinn and handed her over to his brother.

  “I don’t know,” Luke said as he wrapped his arms around Quinn. “I just might not.” He had meant to joke back. Somehow, it sounded slightly like a threat.

  Jake knew better than to say anything so with a final glance, an
d a smile, at Quinn, he turned to leave. He didn’t get too far before he was whisked away to dance with Jemma.

  “Are you having an okay time?” Quinn asked. The moment the words were out of her mouth, she realized just how loaded the question was.

  Luke’s face clouded over and she immediately wanted to retract her words. She didn’t have time before he threw out his response.

  He tried to force a smile when he said, “I just watched my big brother marry the girl I’ve loved my whole life. I’ve had better days.” Then he was the one who instantly regretted his words when he saw the hurt look settle onto Quinn’s face. “I’m sorry,” he immediately said. His gut was twisting with regret at having said something so callous. The hurt look on Quinn’s face was enough to make him want to cut out his own tongue. “That was completely uncalled for. I mean, just because it’s out there now, doesn’t mean I should ever bring it up. Especially not today.”

  “Luke,” Quinn started but he cut her off again.

  “Quinnie, I’m so sorry. That was a really horrible thing for me to say. Can we just forget I said it? This day is about you. Not me.” He shook his head. Quinn could see the regret on his face. She was sure he hadn’t had a lot to drink but possibly just enough to loosen up his tongue a bit more than he liked.

  “It’s fine. I just wish things were different,” she said.

  “But they’re not. So let’s just try to get past it? Okay?” He shook his head. “The last thing I wanted to do was bring you down on your day. So forget I said anything and just dance with me? Please?”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  She had her arms looped around his neck but looking into his eyes was proving to be too painful. She hated the sight of the hurt she had caused. Instead, she rested her head on his chest as they slowly swayed to the music. She wanted to make the most of this time with Luke because she had a terrible suspicion it might be a while before she saw him again.

  *~*~*

  “It’s perfect, Jake,” Quinn repeated yet again.

  She glanced around the room. The walls were covered in a tasteful floral pattern, just what she’d expected from this type of place. The furniture looked heavy and was made out of deep, cherry colored wood. Best of all, the bed had a canopy.

  Quinn thought canopies, just like picnic baskets, were oddly romantic. Jake didn’t look as convinced as he took in his surroundings.

  She loved the quaint bed and breakfast that he’d chosen. It was in a small, touristy town with plenty to do. The town was at the foot of a mountain. The town itself was filled with antique shops, which Quinn loved. He’d scoped out the place months ago. In fact, he even had the reservation made.

  This cute little place was the one he’d chosen to bring her to when he proposed. Instead, he’d called to extend the reservation to accommodate a short honeymoon.

  He placed their suitcases on the floor and shut the door. It was a little after midnight. They’d left their dance only an hour ago. The woman who owned the B&B had been willing to wait up for them. She’d gotten them signed in and had shown them to their room. She gave them a hasty run down of the itinerary, breakfast in the morning between seven and nine. Then she hustled away, sure the newlyweds were anxious to have her gone.

  She was right.

  “I just wish we could’ve gotten away,” he said as he came up behind her. “I feel like I should’ve taken you somewhere amazing. Like a tropical island…or at the very least Niagara Falls. Not just down the highway.”

  “I suppose it would be pointless to point out that as long as we’re together, I really don’t care where we are?” Quinn demanded with a smile.

  “I know,” Jake said with a sigh. “I feel the same. But still…” He’d wanted to do something amazing. Something memorable. Something so incredibly special that she’d never forget it. He felt that even though it was a cute little place, the bed and breakfast just wasn’t what he’d had in mind. But it had been the best he could do under the circumstances.

  The company was so busy at work this time of year; employees were typically encouraged to take their vacations during the winter. Jake had managed to get three days off. His dad would’ve given him more, but Jake felt guilty even taking the three days off. If he wasn’t there to work, it just meant it was harder for the other guys. And if they went somewhere that involved a flight, it would’ve just added an extra two days of travel time. So they’d planned a short, romantic honeymoon in a nearby town.

  “I love it, I promise. I’ve always wanted to stay at a bed and breakfast,” she reminded him. Of course, he knew that already. That’s why he’d arranged it. She continued on. “Not only that but it’s summer. It seems silly to visit a tropical island in the summer. Maybe in a year or two we can get away during the winter,” she told him. She was unsuccessfully trying to unzip her dress. After having spent the whole day in the thing, she was ready to get out of it.

  “I’m looking forward to it already,” Jake said.

  “Besides,” she coyly added as he reached over and unzipped it for her, “I promise you,” she said as the dress fell into a heap at her feet, “there is nothing we can do on a tropical island that we can’t do here.” He had already begun lacing her neck with kisses. He stopped when she uttered those words.

  “And what are we going to do here?” he teased. He had just deftly unhooked her bra.

  “If I have my way…” Quinn told him as she turned around so that she was facing him. She stepped over her dress and began to unbutton his shirt. “We just might not leave this room.”

  “And why is that?” Jake asked as he looped his thumbs into the waistline of her panties.

  She reached for his zipper. “As soon as I get you out of this tux, I’m going to show you,” she assured him.

  9

  “All I’m saying is that you don’t have to work,” Jake told her. They were driving back from their honeymoon. Quinn had been right as far as Jake was concerned. There hadn’t been anything they could’ve done on an island that they weren’t able to do at the bed and breakfast. Furthermore, they’d barely left their room. This made him think it had been the perfect choice. Why spend all that time dealing with airports and travel arrangements if you aren’t going to leave your room anyway?

  So he’d been plenty satisfied that the honeymoon was a success and it had all worked out for the best. Now he was tackling a subject he knew might be a bit touchy. That was why he’d waited until they were on their way home, while Quinn was in a blissfully happy state of mind.

  “And what I’m saying is that I want to work,” Quinn repeated. She didn’t love her job as a bank teller. But she didn’t mind it either. What she did like was being self-sufficient. She liked having her own paycheck. While she appreciated Jake’s offer to let her be a stay at home wife, and then mother, she wasn’t ready for that yet.

  “I get it,” he said. His tone sounded resigned, yet teasing. “That’s what I get for marrying someone so stubborn.”

  “I’m not stubborn,” she stubbornly replied. “I’m just…independent.”

  He laughed as he glanced over at her. “Yeah, I know. How about a compromise?”

  “I’m listening,” Quinn told him.

  “Would you consider dropping down to part-time?” He was looking at her hopefully.

  She cocked her head to the side, considering. She had gotten the job the summer after high school. She’d worked part-time during school years, jumping to full-time during summers. Even though she had recently been moved back to full-time, she was sure her supervisor wouldn’t have a problem rearranging her schedule again. She knew of at least two co-workers who would appreciate more hours.

  They probably needed the money more badly than she did, she realized.

  Jake had an excellent job. He’d already made it perfectly clear to her that he was paying the bills. He really didn’t let her pay for anything. Still, she liked to have her own money for new clothes, or shopping with her friends, lunches with Carly. But with no
other expenses, except for her own entertainment, her paychecks stretched plenty far.

  She nodded slowly. “I could do that. I just don’t get why it’s so important to you.”

  He sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. It just is. I want to feel like I’m taking care of you. Especially now.”

  “Oh,” Quinn said. Her voice sounded a little too serious. “I see. So basically, it’s your caveman side shining through?”

  He narrowed his eyes at her teasing. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “It’s sweet,” she conceded.

  “So, you agree to drop to part-time?” he pressed.

  “Sure,” she agreed quickly. Before she could change her mind.

  He grinned triumphantly. “And then—”

  “No!” she said with a laugh. “No ‘and then’. That’s the deal!”

  “Aren’t you even going to hear me out?”

  “Fine,” she huffed in mock annoyance. “Let’s hear it.”

  “And then once the baby comes, I think you should quit working altogether.” He said the words quickly. Hoping to get them all out before she cut him off.

  “I don’t know, Jake,” she said with a sigh. “I haven’t really thought that far ahead. But it seems a bit silly to spend four years getting an education and then not using it.”

  “You can use it. Eventually,” he argued.

  She knew he was right. She’d already decided to delay looking for a job. It just wasn’t a good time. She already knew she would be needing time off for doctor’s appointments and then the birth and then of course, a few months after the baby arrived. So she’d decided to stay at the bank for the time being. She’d been there for so long and they treated her well. They were also completely flexible with her schedule, which was exactly what she needed for now.

  He looked at her imploringly. “Please, just think about it?”

  She nodded. “Okay, yes, I’ll think about it.”