This Heart for Hire

by Marie Ferrarella

  “Okay,” he said evenly. “Fair enough. I won’t stop you.” He wouldn’t beg. Nothing and no one was worth that.

  Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. “You couldn’t.”

  No, he thought, he couldn’t. Even if he tried to keep her back physically, which he wouldn’t, it was her spirit that dictated the situation. And that could never be overpowered.

  “But while you’re here,” he pressed on, “why don’t we declare a truce? A real truce,” he added before she could say anything to contradict him. “We’re on the same side in this, but I feel like I’m walking into an armed camp every time I’m around you.”

  Was he really that thick? Or was it that he just had no memory?

  “Sorry, Logan, but that’s your own doing. I’m just trying to protect myself.”

  “Protect yourself?” he repeated incredulously. She was wearing it, he realized. Wearing the scent that he loved. The scent that always made him think of her. Weaving into his senses, it was clouding his mind. “From what?”

  “From you.” Jessica could feel herself back on the tightrope again. And in real trouble. “You’re like a guerrilla fighter, running in for a sneak attack, then running off again to fight—or make love—another day.”

  Was that how she saw him, as some heartless womanizer? He’d cared about her while they’d been together. Cared as much as he was able. As much as he’d allowed himself. Maybe even too much. It surprised him that, intuitive as she was, she hadn’t sensed that.

  “Not a very flattering image.”

  What did he expect? She tried to shrug carelessly. “You created it.”

  He moved a little closer to her. A little closer to the heart she’d never managed to fully shield. “Then I can tear it down.”

  Like the fighter she’d always been, she stood her ground even as she felt it slipping away from her at an incredibly fast rate.

  “Not here, not now. Not with me.”

  He combed his hand through her hair, cupping her cheek. He could feel her trembling. Or was that just his anticipation?

  “Why not? I never knew you to be unfair, Jessi.”

  She meant to jerk her head away. She couldn’t quite manage it. “Maybe we weren’t together long enough for you to learn that about me.”

  “Oh, but there now you’re wrong. I learned everything I needed to know about you in the first few minutes I knew you.” The words were soft, sensual, seductive, as they left his lips. “That you were kind and sweet and had the kind of smile that melted a man’s kneecaps at thirty paces.” His eyes made love to her. “You also had the best-looking body, bar none, that I had ever seen.”

  Lines, all lines. She was trying very hard to remember that. To remember the pain when they broke up. All she could remember was wanting him. “I was wearing a two-piece suit.”

  Maybe she didn’t remember all of it. “It was blue and pasted to your body because of the rain, rernember?” It had been some kind of silk. All he knew was the way it had clung to her. “I just filled in the blanks, that’s all.” He tilted her head up so that their eyes met. “And I wasn’t wrong.”

  She could feel her heart pounding the way it had when she’d run into the alley. More. She’d been in a lot less danger, then.

  “But you’re wrong now,” she told him. “Wrong to be thinking what you are.”

  “Am I, Jessi?” His hands slipped from her face and went around her back. It was a gentle movement, achingly tender. He drew her closer to him still. Until their heartbeats blended. “Am I?”

  She moved her lips, but when the word “yes” came out, it wasn’t in answer to his question. At least, not the one he’d asked out loud.

  Chapter 10

  Yes.

  If the word lingered on her lips softly, it screamed through her blood the moment Logan embraced her and brought her to him. The moment his mouth came down in sheer wonderment on hers.

  Yes!

  The exclamation echoed, solitary, unadorned, in surrender, in triumph, as she felt his hands slowly slip along her body, possessing her. Owning her, yet, oddly worshipful, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening.

  He wasn’t the only one.

  Logan felt his gut quickening the moment he touched Jessica, the moment he brought her to him. Like someone swimming underwater, he passed his hands over her languidly, unable to move quickly, though his body begged him to.

  It was as if he was afraid this was all a dream and that moving too quickly would force him to wake up. The way he had so many other nights before. Dreaming of her. Having her vanish just as he reached out to touch her.

  She didn’t vanish.

  She wasn’t a dream; she was real. She was here, in his house, in his arms, and the realization slowly tore away the layers of restraint he’d imposed on himself. Tore them away until they no longer existed.

  Over and over again, his mouth slanted over hers. Like a prisoner allowed to walk in the sun again after so many years of darkness, he immersed himself in her. Wanted to drown himself in her.

  Jessica bit back a moan. Logan’s hands felt as if they’d burned right through the thin material that separated them.

  o keep her balance as the world began spinning, she dug her fingers into his shoulders. Her head dropped back when he pressed a single kiss to her throat—then did it again. Over and over he kissed her until she felt disembodied, part of the lovemaking and yet able to hover above it. To watch, anticipate and revel.

  Every fiber of her being throbbed, calling to him. Wanting what only he could give. There’d been no one else to take his place after they’d gone their separate ways. No one else to help her forget. Jessica hadn’t wanted anyone. She had never wanted anyone before there was Logan.

  She wanted now.

  He wanted to feast on her. Devour her. An old poem echoed, piecemeal, through his brain. Something about devoting a century to the worship of each part of her. It didn’t seem so far-fetched now. But restraint was a slippery substance that was beginning to slide quickly through his fingers.

  Logan kissed her eyes, her neck, her shoulders, savoring the taste of her. The essence that was only Jessica.

  “I’ve missed you, Jess,” he whispered as he branded her with his mouth. “Missed you more than I thought humanly possible.”

  The words, ushered in by his warm breath against her skin, burned into her body- Was it her imagination? Or had he actually said them?

  In her right mind, she wouldn’t have been able to picture Logan saying that he missed anyone. Feeling as if he missed anyone.

  But she wasn’t in her right mind, or any mind at all. She was his, body and soul, and all her flimsy promises to herself notwithstanding, she knew in her heart that she’d come home.

  Impatient to have all of her, to see her, Logan tugged at the silky material that clung to her body, underlining every heave of her chest, every breath she took. Very slowly he raised the hem of her nightgown and pulled it up, over her head. Exciting himself beyond words. The nightgown moved like a shimmering lavender wave, withdrawing from her body like the tide withdrawing from the shore.

  His fingers suddenly numb as he looked at her, he dropped the nightgown to the floor where it pooled, forgotten.

  She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Logan felt his breath struggling in his throat. For a moment he could only look at her.

  “If I start making strange noises, it’s because I’ve swallowed my tongue,” he confessed.

  A smile curved her lips. Taking hold of the sweatshirt he had on, she yanked it from him far more quickly than he’d undressed her. She knew her eagerness was showing, but for now, Jessica didn’t care. It was past the time to play games. And he knew by now that she wasn’t playing hard to get Not where he was concerned.

  “You’ve seen me nude before.”

  He wove his fingers through her hair. “Yes, but you can see the sunset a thousand times and it can still leave you in awe.”

  The smile on his lips melted her re
solve. Her heart was racing as she tried desperately to hang on to at least a little composure. “You always did know what to say.”

  But he didn’t always know what to say, Logan thought. Once, none of the right words had come out. Only the wrong ones.

  He placed his finger to her lips. “Shh,” he whispered.

  Then, to ensure her compliance, he pressed his lips to hers, kissing away any protest, any further dialogue between them. He didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want anything to steal the moment away.

  He didn’t have to dwell on that to know he wouldn’t be able to endure it.

  When her hands suddenly stilled at his waist, he wondered if she’d grown shy on him. Over and over again in the past two years, he’d imagined her with a legion of lovers, all in an attempt to drive her from his mind. Her slight hesitation made all the doubts, all the unspoken jealousies vanish. And made him glad. He knew he had no right, but he wanted her only for himself. Only true to him.

  Placing his hands over hers and coaxing, he guided her fingers to the band of his sweatpants. He felt her smile curving beneath his lips just before Jessica obliged and finished undressing him with a quick sweep of her hands.

  Logan shivered as he felt Jessica’s fingers tugging away the light gray material from his hips.

  Her palms came in contact with his skin. Raising a eyebrow, she drew her head back to look at Logan. “You’re not wearing any underwear.”

  “I was going to bed,” he said thickly a moment before he pressed his lips to her throat again.

  She tasted of honey and some sweet, tempting fragrance that made his senses swim. He wanted to consume her whole, to move quickly before she disappeared like smoke.

  “You still are.” Her words came out in a gasp. She couldn’t talk straight, think straight when he was kissmg her like this.

  The air was racing from her lungs, leaving very little for her to draw on. The press of his mouth along her skin, of his hands moving feverishly over her body, robbed her of her breath, leaving only liquid fire in its place.

  She wanted him.

  Wanted him to make love to her. With her. Sweet, exquisite love the way only he could.

  The way she needed.

  She was trembling. It only intensified the feelings that were running rampant through his body His mouth sealed to hers, Logan lifted Jessica up in his arms and carried her to her bed.

  Placing her down gently, he lay down beside her. It felt as if no time had passed, as if all those agonizing nights and empty days that he’d tried to ignore had never been. She was here and he was with her. And if tomorrow still held hoary uncertainties within its hand, he didn’t have to think about them. All he wanted to do was think of now.

  And Jessica.

  Jessica turned her body into his, reveling in the feel of his flesh against hers. Reveling in the promise of what was to be.

  No matter what paths they took after tonight, she knew that he’d always be home to her. Two years she’d spent trying to deny it. Two years telling herself to move forward, to get on with her life. But this, she knew, was where her life force emanated from.

  His hands combing through her hair, Logan slanted his mouth against hers again. Each time he kissed her, his blood heated a little more, pulsing through his body, urges and demands pouring through in its wake.

  They rediscovered each other. Rediscovered all the points where pleasure hid just below the surface, waiting for release.

  Waiting for a touch.

  A very special touch.

  A part of him watched her in awe as she twisted and turned beneath his hand, arching into it as if she were absorbing every last bit of joy, every last bit of pleasure, that could be gotten from what was being created between the two of them. Seeing her like this fed his own joy, his own pleasure. And brought him perilously close to his own precipice.

  He knew if he wasn’t careful, he’d fall and be lost.

  When she reached for him, her hand dipping low, he put his hand over hers, stopping her.

  “Not yet,” he warned.

  Before she could ask why, he pressed her back against the bed, looming over her. Jessica held her breath as she saw the look in his eyes. It burst away from her the next moment, exploding with the ecstasy he’d brought her to.

  Logan created magic with the merest flick of his tongue along her body. Magic and fire that coursed along her skin instantly in the wake of the path he forged with the gentle nipping of his mouth and the hot touch of his tongue.

  Unable to remain still, Jessica twisted and turned. She grasped the comforter beneath her fisted hands as he primed her for the final ecstasy, bringing her to it so quickly that she lost her bearings.

  Jessica gasped his name, then silently pleaded with him using only her eyes.

  Logan drew the length of his hot, throbbing body along hers, teasing, foreshadowing. Making her completely crazy as anticipation fed desire.

  And then, because he knew he couldn’t hold himself back any longer, Logan slipped inside her. A sword sheathing itself in the scabbard that had been fashioned for it alone. A man returning to where he belonged. The excitement of it threatened to make him explode before he was ready.

  His final goal was pleasure. Her pleasure. And in gaining it, he had his own.

  He groaned as he felt her fingers flutter along his back, searching for a place to anchor herself. Her nails raked along his flesh as they both scrambled up the summit. Eager.

  The rhythm was both eternal and scarcely a moment old, the sensations, both familiar and completely brand-new.

  Arching her body into his, Jessica frantically began to mimic his movements, desperate for the final climax, the final joining on a higher plain than just the bed they were on.

  And when it came, descending like a fiery blanket over both of them, it was almost too sweet to endure. The bed shook beneath them, and Jessica was vaguely aware of uttering a cry. A cry that echoed into his mouth. It seemed fitting.

  Spent, fearful of the loss that would come all too soon, she clung to him, telling herself it was all right. That she’d chosen this and that she now had the control she hadn’t had before.

  Telling herself that it was all right to love him, if only for a little while.

  As long as he didn’t know.

  Logan didn’t want to move. Not because he was exhausted beyond belief, which he was, but because if he did, it would be over. The euphoria, the moment, all of that, all that they’d shared, would disappear and he didn’t want it to.

  He wanted to hold her to him without thinking about anything except how good it felt to have her in his arms again. But when he heard the small, almost imperceptible noise against his shoulder, he knew he had to be crushing her.

  Raising himself up to pivot on his elbows, he looked down at Jessica. Her hair was slightly damp against her forehead, the line of her lips slightly blurred. It made him want her all over again.

  He shifted a little more. “Sorry.”

  Sorry.

  The word tore through her like a branding iron against resistant, quivering flesh. Instantly she tried to seal herself off from the hurt she knew had to come. He’d conditioned her that way.

  “About what?”

  Logan could feel Jessica stiffening beneath him. And felt himself doing the same in a far more pleasurable way. “About crushing you. I didn’t realize I was resting my full weight on you.” He smiled down into her face. “You make it hard to think.”

  “Oh.”

  She looked as if his explanation had taken the wind out of her sails. “What did you think I meant?”

  She turned her face from his, looking toward the wall. It was swallowed up by the darkness. “I’m trying not to think.”

  Maybe it was better that way, Logan mused. Not to think, just feel. Then things couldn’t be said that had to be unsaid. Or regretted.

  Moving off her, Logan turned and tucked her against his shoulder. Because the night had brought a chill with it that was beginning to reg
ister, he reached around her and drew the edge of the comforter over both of them.

  “That doesn’t sound like you. Not thinking,” he elaborated when she looked at him blankly.

  Jessica could feel herself growing drowsy. How many times had she fallen asleep beside him like this, after the lovemaking had taken away all her strength?

  Too few, her mind echoed. Too few.

  “I told you,” she said sleepily. “I’ve done a lot of changing in the past two years.”

  Her yawn slid along his skin, stirring him. He wanted her all over again. From the very beginning. But then, he’d always been insatiable where Jessica was concerned. He’d never seemed to be able to get his fill of her. Which worried him—when he was able to think.

  “All for the better,” he murmured against her temple, kissing her softly.

  Did he mean that? Or was he just saying whatever popped into his head? Eyes widening, she turned to look at Logan.

  He couldn’t resist her when she looked like that, like a wide-eyed innocent. Hell, he couldn’t resist her, period, and he knew it

  And right now he didn’t want to try. “Jessi?”

  “Hmm?” She was beginning to drift off again. Though it was foolish and she would never have admitted it out loud, she felt safe in his arms. Really safe.

  “Are you up to doing it again?” Even as he asked, he began to press small, quick kisses to the outline of her jaw, making it tingle. And doing a pretty good job on the rest of her.

  There was a sparkle in her eyes as she turned to look at him. “The question is, are you up to it?”

  Eyes shimmering with mischief, Logan grinned. “What do you think?”

  A laugh bubbled in her throat. Sleep suddenly vanished as if it had never been an issue. “I think I’m going to have to investigate and see for myself.”

  “That, dear lady, is one of the best suggestions you’ve had in a very long time.”

  Shifting until he was over her, Logan wove his fingers through hers. He held her hands over her head as he began to kiss her heated body, one small area at a time. She began to move beneath him again.