This Heart for Hire

by Marie Ferrarella

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She muttered a few choice words about his meek acquiescence as they made their way to his car in the lot. The fact that he was leaning some of his weight on her indicated to Jessica that he wasn’t feeling nearly as hale and hardy as he was trying to make her believe.

  Stopping by his car, she partially leaned him against the hood and put out her hand. “Give me your keys.”

  With effort, he fished them out of his pants pocket, using his left hand. He held them just above her palm. “I can drive, you know.”

  “Yes, I’ve seen you.” She took the keys from him before Logan could change his mind and give her a real argument. “Many times Now shut up and save your strength.”

  She helped him into the passenger seat, wincing whenever he did. Hurrying, she got in on her side.

  His head spun a little as she peeled out of the lot. There’s a first, he thought, trying not to pass out. Usually, speed made him feel better, exhilarated.

  “Save my strength,” he repeated, desperately trying to keep things light. “Why? Are you going to make wild, passionate love to me?”

  No, but not because she didn’t want to, she thought. “The only thing wild and passionate tonight is the way I feel about finding whoever it is who’s stalking you.”

  Stalking. It was an ugly word with a grim reality attached to it. Logan didn’t like feeling confined. “The vote’s in two days. He doesn’t have much time.”

  “I have a feeling he already knows that.”

  They didn’t have much time, either, she thought. Not together. The same two days applied to her. Once they were gone, so would she. Gone from his life. And he from hers.

  She bit her lip as she saw him wince when she took a turn. “Hurt very much?”

  “Enough.”

  If he allowed that small remark to pass, she knew it had to hurt a great deal. “Are you sure you don’t want to go—”

  “I’m sure,” he cut m.

  Jessica pressed down on the accelerator. “Hang on, I’ll get you home.”

  Logan mastered a grin as they made their way up the steps to the front of his house. Jessica had made the twenty-five-minute trip in less than half the time, squeaking through yellow lights just before they turned red. A woman after his own heart.

  In more ways than one, he thought. Or at least she had been, before he’d screwed things up.

  Struggling to keep her balance with him as she took the steps, Jessica raised an eyebrow at his expression. “What?”

  “I should take you on in a race sometime.” He leaned against the wall as she unlocked the door. “You drove like a pro.”

  “I picked it up watching you.” And in remembering, she’d succeeded in bringing back a torrent of vivid memories. She had a habit of absorbing everything she came in contact with. Him more than anything. And that was her problem.

  Logan waited until she opened the door, then followed her inside. “What else did you pick up, watching me?”

  “Well, I could have picked up stupidity tonight if I’d wanted to.” She pushed the door shut behind her, making sure she was quiet about it. She had a feeling Logan didn’t want anyone else up and fussing about him. Despite his condition, or maybe because of it, she felt she’d held back her temper long enough. “What made you jump up like that? Weren’t you enough of a target on the ground? Did you have to try to make it easy for him?”

  “I wasn’t trying to make it easy for him.” He struggled to curb his own temper. He knew she wasn’t shouting at him, she was shouting at her own fear. “I was angry. If that bullet had just been a little to the right, he would have gotten you.”

  Her anger vanished. Her? Logan was concerned about something happening to her? A sweetness drizzled through Jessica. But that didn’t change that what he’d done was foolhardy.

  “He wasn’t after me,” she pointed out. “He was after you.”

  That being the case, it was lucky for him that the man was off his mark. He thought of the first attempt outside the club. “I guess he really is a lousy shot.”

  She touched the stain on his jacket, not wanting her mind to go any further with the thought than it already had.

  “Thank God for that.” She looked around the foyer. Neither the housekeeper nor the cook had appeared. “Looks like Julia and Maxine are asleep.”

  He nodded his agreement. The dizziness had passed. He was beginning to feel like himself again. A shot-up self, but better nonetheless.

  “Good thing.” He glanced at the wound. His handkerchief was badly stained. “Wouldn’t want to scare them.”

  If he’d been whole, she would have smacked him. “But me you don’t mind scaring out of my mind, right?”

  He hadn’t meant it that way. “You’re getting paid for it, remember? Speaking of which, you’re fired.”

  Taking his good arm again, she threaded it over her shoulders, supporting him as she led him upstairs to his bedroom. With infinite patience, she pointed out—again—why he couldn’t fire her.

  “We’ve been all through this, Logan. You didn’t hire me, consequently, you can’t fire me. Only Dane can.” She remembered looking for his brother during the fund-raiser. He hadn’t been around. “By the way, where was he this evening?”

  He let her lead him to his bathroom. Only slightly smaller than the bedroom, the room was done completely in black onyx. Easing himself down onto the rim of the enormous tub, he saw her reflection in the mirror.

  “Don’t get that look in your eye again, Jess. He didn’t want to be competing with me at the party, that’s all. Dane was out seeing if he could drum up some support for his side.” He looked up into Jessica’s eyes and began to get up. “Dane wouldn’t do this.”

  “Sit,” she ordered.

  Opening the medicine cabinet, she rummaged around until she found what she was looking for. Disinfectant, tape and a roll of bandages. With deft movements, she took them all out, arranging them on the sink.

  “No,” she agreed, “he wouldn’t. Warning shots are one thing. These shots weren’t meant to warn.”

  She wondered where the second bullet had gone to. It had whizzed right by her. Tomorrow, before people began arriving in the area and life became busy, she was going to go down there again and have a good look around. Maybe she’d find that second bullet she heard.

  Very slowly she peeled off his shirt. He caught his breath as she drew it from his shoulder. Empathy had her stomach waffling in response. She tossed the material aside. The shirt was ruined, just like the tuxedo jacket.

  “I’m sorry if this hurts.”

  Inwardly, he braced himself as he saw her reach for the disinfectant. “Do your worst.”

  She poured the liquid liberally over the cotton, before applying it to his wound.

  “My worst would be to bind and gag you until the vote is taken,” she informed him. Looking at the wound, she bit back a sound. “You’re going to have a scar on that rugged shoulder of yours,” she warned. On him, she had to admit a scar had its appeal.

  He watched her as she dabbed the disinfectant on his shoulder. “It’ll just add to my mystique.”

  She reached for a second swab. “As if you needed to have something added.”

  Logan caught her hand between his. “Tell me more.”

  “And risk having your head swell?” Jessica drew her hand away. “Think again.”

  “I am.” Taking her hand again, he raised it to his lips and kissed it. The look in her eyes told him she was as affected as he was. “I’ll be all right, Jessi. I have you to take care of me.”

  Jessica frowned as guilt returned, big-time. She picked up the rolled bandage and began binding up his wound. “Big help I was. I was supposed to guard you, not let you carry me around.”

  He turned his head, watching her work. She moved quickly, competently. He wondered if she’d done this before. And for whom.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m good as new. I have wonderful self-healing powers.”

 
; She raised her head. “Do you?” She looked at him, remembering the words he said to her when he broke off their relationship. She supposed she never really got over them. A wound that refused to mend. “Some of us aren’t blessed that way,” she said.

  Too late he realized what he’d said. And how it must have sounded. “Jessi.”

  There was a catch in her voice and it took her a minute to make it vanish. She cleared her throat, then tried to look impersonal. “What?”

  He wanted to say he was sorry, sorry for ever hurting her. Sorry for having driven her away with a lie. Sorry for so many things and for all the time that was forever lost. Very, very sorry.

  But the words still refused to materialize. The apology wouldn’t come. Whether it was because it unmanned him, or made him feel vulnerable, Logan didn’t know. All he knew was that he started out wanting to say he was sorry and ended up saying, “Thanks for taking care of me,” instead.

  For a moment, just a moment, she’d thought he was going to say something else. That showed her. She shrugged, putting the tape, bandage and disinfectant back into the medicine cabinet.

  “All part of the job.”

  Rising, he closed the medicine cabinet door abruptly. They’d waltzed around without music too much tonight. “And if it wasn’t? If you weren’t being paid to hover over me as you pointed out, would you still have done what you did? Or—”

  Her eyes met his. He knew the answer to that. Why did he have to ask?

  “I’ve always been a pushover for dumb animals. Especially hurt ones.” She sighed. She was tired and her nerves were on the verge of disintegrating. “Now go to bed.”

  He glanced toward the king-size bed in the bedroom behind her. It had felt far too empty last night, despite all his noble intentions. He didn’t feel very noble tonight. Just needy.

  “Come with me?”

  She did her best to resist. Did even more to appear as if resisting wasn’t even necessary. She doubted that she was convincing.

  “You’re not exactly in any shape to make love, Logan.” She walked past him into his bedroom with every intention of leaving. “You need rest.”

  “I need you.”

  Good intentions crashed and burned as she turned around to look at him. With those three little words, he’d caught up her soul and held it in his hand.

  “Oh, God, Logan, what do you expect me to say to that?”

  “Nothing.” He cupped her cheek so softly, she felt as if his fingertips were kissing her skin. “Just stay perfectly still and let me do all the work.”

  A smile bloomed on her lips. “Work is it now?”

  “Of the nicest kind.” His lips found hers and any thought of further protest died instantly.

  The ecstasy overtook her immediately, mocking her for ever having thought she could break its hold over her. She knew she shouldn’t be allowing this to happen, not again. Once was already too much. But emotions born in the wake of her fears that he’d been seriously hurt now left her completely unarmed. She needed and wanted him so much that she couldn’t help herself.

  Or stop herself.

  Needs and desires poured through, escaping like so much water from a dam that had suddenly been opened. Flooding her body. Submerging her mind and any protests that still lingered there.

  His lips worked along the outline of her jaw, her chin, her throat. Sparks ignited throughout her body. It took everything she had not to clutch at his arms, not to dig her fingertips into his flesh..

  She was his. There was no question about it. She knew it.

  No matter what came later. What happened in their lives after this Saturday, after the vote was taken and he didn’t need her anymore, she would always be his.

  “Undress for me, Jessi.” The words drifted seductively along her skin. The entreaty called to her, a legendary siren song of old.

  Like a woman in a trance she fixed her eyes on his. With slow, languid movements, she began to disrobe. Hands on her hips, she drew the material down. The silver dress snaked down her body like a second skin being shed.

  One silver, the other gold, Logan thought, unable to tear his eyes away from her. Beneath the gown, Jessica was nude, just as he’d guessed. He felt his breath catch in his throat, hardly having ventured beyond his lungs.

  It took everything he had within him not to reach out for her. Not to take her into his arms and crush her to his body. He didn’t think it was possible to want someone so much. But he did. More and more with each passing moment.

  His gaze was so intense, she could feel its heat along her skin. The dress pooled to the floor, catching the light. “What?”

  “Every time I see you, you’re just that much more beautiful.”

  Jessica grinned. “In that case, by the time I reach a hundred I should be unbearably gorgeous.”

  She was there already. He felt the palms of his hands grow itchy.

  “Way before that, Jessi. Way before that. C’mere,” he whispered, extended his hand to her.

  She came willingly, slipping into his arms. He pressed a kiss softly to her temple. The tender act spoke volumes. Far more than any passionate kiss. She felt her heart twisting within her breast.

  I love you, Logan, she whispered silently in her mind.

  His fingers glided gently along the sensitive skin of her breast as he cupped it. Ever so lightly, he rubbed his thumb over the hardening nipple.

  Jessica moaned, absorbing the sensation. When they’d made love the day before, it had been all passion, all fire. This time there was such tenderness, such gentleness, it completely undid her.

  Logan had always been a good lover, an instinctive lover who anticipated her every move, her every need. But he went far beyond that this time. With every stroke, every motion, every kiss and caress, she felt that there was something between them that had never been there before. Something equally powerful and sweet.

  Wishful thinking, she mused. Or, at best, it was a feeling born of the emotionally charged situation they’d found themselves in. He’d been shot at and could have been killed. That obviously made life that much more precious to him. And his lovemaking that much more rarefied.

  She could accept that. Respect that.

  Very slowly Jessica unbuckled his belt, her own lips questing over his face, over his neck. She traced the outline of his ear with her tongue.

  His sharp intake of breath egged her on, making her very blood heat. She wanted him. Wanted him in the worst way. The best way.

  And he wanted her.

  If nothing else, she had that, Jessica thought. And for now, that was enough.

  His own clothing shed, Logan caught her hand in his and drew her to the bed.

  He wanted to make love with her all night.

  He wanted her now. This minute, before his own needs made him explode.

  Desire plundered, taking him a willing prisoner. With tender care, he lay down beside Jessica, then suddenly pivoted over her. He feathered his fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her face. Her eyes were huge with wonder. With loving.

  “I love you, Jessi.”

  The words flew like a flaming arrow straight to her heart, yet she was sure she hadn’t heard him. Eyes widening, she looked at him. She’d stopped breathing, and in a moment was gasping for air because her lungs were so depleted.

  Maybe she was just being delirious. “What did you just say?”

  The words had come out without thought, without preamble. But he knew he was bound to them and that he’d meant them. Maybe always meant them. “I said ‘I love you,”’ he repeated.

  It wasn’t a forever love, it was a momentary love, an I love you born of the moment, destined to die in the next. She knew that. Wouldn’t fool herself into thinking anything else. But she’d heard it. Heard it twice and knew that it was more than others had heard in her place. For now it was enough.

  Because she didn’t want him bound by words that would fade, she kept her own proclamation deep within her, though the words raged to be
freed. “I love you,” throbbed in her head each time she swallowed it back.

  She didn’t echo the phrase, didn’t say anything. Logan knew he deserved it. Deserved this feeling of being adrift Of being the one who loved more. Or at all.

  Knowing he deserved it still didn’t assuage the pain of wanting it. The tenderness burned in the heat of the passion that came after. He slanted his mouth over hers, trying to cleanse himself, to lose himself.

  Jessica squirmed, unable to hold back the burst of happiness that sent her spiraling upward to crescents of pleasure. She felt his knee coaxing her legs apart. She opened for him, taking him in and joining him on the ascent to a place she pretended was theirs alone.

  I love you, her mind screamed as they reached the final burst of ecstasy.

  He’d missed.

  He had been so damn close and yet, he’d missed. Missed because he’d heard someone coming. A paunchy, washed-out-looking, gray-garbed guard who would have been sure to have picked him out of a lineup if the man had gotten close enough to see him.

  So the shots had been misspent, his goal hadn’t been reached, and he’d had to flee.

  But now he was through toying. Through waiting. He meant to have his revenge, and he meant to have it soon.

  Very, very soon.

  Chapter 14

  Logan glanced toward his fax machine as he walked into his office behind Jessica. Several pages were piled up in front of the machine on the desk. Jessica’s desk. He had to admit he liked the sound of that. Liked having her there beside him. Liked the feel of having her back in his life again.

  This time the fit was perfect.

  It had been before, he thought. But he hadn’t been man enough to admit it then.

  He watched Jessica head straight for the desk. “Looks like Albert’s been busy again.”

  Jessica slung her purse strap over the back of her chair. She hadn’t thought there was this much left that Albert hadn’t already forwarded to her. “He has an extraordinary intimate relationship with the computer. I don’t know where I’d be without him.”