Prove Me Wrong

by Tessa Marie

“Uh huh. Sure he was.” She playfully pushes my shoulder with her hand while the other stays in the ten position on the steering wheel. If she wasn’t driving I would grab her and pull her into me.

  I’ve wanted to make my move for so long, but I want it to be right. For it to just happen. A natural moment is so much better than something you plan out and overanalyze. Besides, Hailey’s different than the other girls I’ve been with. It’s not about the sex with her. At first I thought it would be. Not at anymore. It’s more than that.

  We pull into Gimbel’s with five minutes to spare. The ideal scenario would be to spend thirty seconds talking and the rest of the time making out. Instead, as usual, Hailey grabs her bag and smock from the backseat and gets out of the car before I can say another word.

  I accept defeat, get out, and catch up to her. Inside Cecilia mans her register. She’s probably been here since eight and she’ll stay till six. Somehow she still manages a smile. I swear she’s the only person I know who actually enjoys working.

  “Hey you two,” Cecilia calls out then waves.

  “Hey Cecilia,” Hailey says first.

  She fits in perfectly. She and Cecilia have formed a camaraderie and like to team up on me. I don’t mind, Hailey looks the cutest when she’s joking around.

  Her lips always curve up and her tooth slips out from her top lip. And on some occasions she bats her eyes at me, sending me into over drive. It takes all I have not to jump over the conveyer belt, swoop her up into my arms, and carry her into the back room. Considering I’m still stuck at home plate I doubt she’d appreciate that.

  I nod to Stan as I walk to clock in. He loves to catch people who are late and lecture them about time management. Luckily, I only had to endure that speech once. I clock Hailey in and Stan gives me a skeptical look, but I point to her across the way and he nods his approval.

  Hailey takes her position behind the cash register and I take mine at the end of the lane, ready to bag and carry. The store is pretty empty, so I lean back on the next lane to talk to Hailey.

  “So I was wondering,” she says and I lift a curious eyebrow. “You know, since you said no bullshit and all.”

  I swallow the fear down. This is my own doing. She hasn’t run yet.

  “What’s that?”

  “Why were you on probation in the first place?”

  I knew that was coming. Surprised it hadn’t come sooner actually.

  “It was stupid. Not exactly a time I’m proud of, you know? I did a lot of dumb shit. The dumbest, taking my mom’s car out for a joy ride in the middle of the night and crashed it. I was fifteen. Didn’t even have a permit. I would have made it home and she never would’ve known, but a raccoon ran out into the street and I turned the wheel to avoid it and hit a street sign. Minimal damage, but a cop pulled up and let’s just say I had nowhere to run. I was busted. Got off with a year of probation.”

  “Your poor mom.”

  Definitely not the response I was expecting. Not even in the top five.

  “I put her through a lot of shit. Now I know better. I don’t get caught.”

  She laughs. “That’s one way to go about it. So what exactly are you doing that your mom wouldn’t approve of?”

  I give her a cocky wink and say, “Stick around and maybe you’ll find out.”

  “Are you open?” An old lady with a cart full of groceries asks in a tiny voice.

  “Yes, of course,” Hailey says. I walk over to the lady’s cart and start unloading. This isn’t part of my job, but she’s so small and fragile-looking I don’t want her to over exert herself. I’ve never seen so much cat food in one cart in my life. But from her cat sweater and matching cat bag, I’m not surprised.

  “Now aren’t you the sweetest,” she says and takes out her cat wallet.

  “It’s my pleasure ma’am.”

  “Isn’t he the sweetest?” The lady turns to Hailey and she stops mid-ring, holding a can of cat food in her hand.

  Her eyes rake me over, and she flashes the smile I love. “He grows on you.”

  Ten bags, twenty coupons, and a hundred and twenty three dollars later, Cat Lady is bagged and ready to go. I take the cart and push it outside while she follows beside me. Her wrinkled finger points to her car in the handicap spot.

  Once she unlocks the car, I place the bags in the backseat, making sure they won’t fall over when she takes a turn.

  “Thank you so much, dear. You are so kind. Here, take this.” She goes to hand me a five dollar bill, which surprises me since she used so many coupons and people usually hand me a dollar if I’m lucky.

  “No ma’am, that’s not necessary,” I say, putting my hands up and backing away.

  “Oh nonsense. I insist. There are not many people who are nice to little old ladies like me. Besides, you can use it to take that sweet girl out.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Please honey, I may be old, but I’m not blind. The whole time you were bagging my groceries the two of you were flirting with your eyes. So do me a favor, take this money and take that girl out for an ice cream. Besides it’s not like I can take this money to the grave with me.” She sticks the money in the pocket of my smock.

  I accept defeat. Plus, I can totally use this to my advantage. “Thanks ma’am, I’ll do that.”

  “Good. Now get back in there and get to asking.”

  “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”

  “You too darling.”

  The lady walks around to the driver side of her car as I head back to the store. But before I make it halfway across the parking lot I stop and turn back to the nice old lady.

  “Ma’am, do you have someone who can bring those groceries in for you when you get home?”

  “My Charlie should be home.” Well if her Charlie is as old as her, then that’s not too reassuring. Then as if she was reading my thoughts. “He moved in with me after his daddy passed away.”

  I nod in understanding. She smiles back and gets in her car and drives away. I walk across the parking lot back to the store when I see Hailey running out.

  She flies by me in a blur of color. Her phone is pressed to her ear and as hard as it is to focus on her, I swear she has tears in her eyes.

  “Hailey,” I yell, but she doesn’t hear me. It’s like I don’t even exist.

  “Hailey, what’s the matter?” Luke runs over to me and rests his hand on my shoulder. The comfort of his touch causes my hands to shake and tears to build in my eyes. I can’t look at him. I need to get out of here before I break down. Before I slip and say something that could only make matters worse.

  “I gotta go.”

  “Why? What’s the matter?”

  “I’m sorry. I gotta go,” I say as I leave the comfort of his touch and jump in my car. I don’t give him a chance to stop me. I take off without as much as a glance back.

  What should be a twenty minute drive to the hospital feels like hours.

  “I’m unable to make it to the phone, please leave—”

  I slam my phone down, cutting Mom’s voicemail off. How could she leave me a message like that and not answer? All I heard was “Brady” and “hospital” and my mind went numb. And now she won’t answer her damn phone.

  Shit Mom, where are you? Even though Mom works here I’ve never been to this hospital. I have no idea where the hell to go. There’s a hospital closer to our house, but Mom doesn’t have connections there.

  I run into the emergency room, scanning the waiting area for Mom and Brady. Her short dirty blonde bob isn’t anywhere to be found. Neither are Brady’s cute little pudgy cheeks.

  My converse sneakers hit the glossy tiles and squeak as I pivot towards the registration desk.

  A woman with her black hair slicked tight in a bun looks up at me. I blurt out words and hope they make sense. “Hi my name’s Hailey Saldino. I’m looking for my mom… she came in here with—”

  “Your son, Brady.”

  “Yes, my son. Do you know where they are?”
It’s a relief not having to deny him.

  “Hi Hailey, I’m Barbara. I work with your mom.” She reaches her hand out to me. Without thinking twice I shake it.

  “Nice to meet you too. But my son?”

  “He’s fine. He’s just running a temperature. He had a slight rash too, which could be cause for concern, but luckily they’re unrelated. Your mom’s in the back room. Just follow this green line on the wall to the very end.”

  “Thank you, Barbara. Thank you so much.” I’m so relieved, so happy, I could jump over the counter and hug this woman.

  “Anytime. By the way, Brady is adorable.”

  “Thank you.” He is adorable, and I can’t wait to have him in my arms. I follow the green strips on the wall like Barbara said until I’m standing in the doorway looking in at Mom holding Brady in her arms while the doctor examines him.

  “Mom!”

  “Oh Hailey, just in time. This is Dr. Greenberg. He was just finishing up Brady’s examination.”

  “Hi,” I say with a wave and look around the doctor, needing to see my son. As soon as my eyes settle on his red chubby cheeks he lets out a squeal and reaches out to me. I want to take him in my arms so bad, but the doctor is still examining him.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Hailey. I’ve heard so much about you from your mother.” Who hasn’t she told about me?

  “Okay you’re good to go. It’s just a temperature. Just give him Tylenol, and keep him hydrated, and he’ll be fine.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Greenberg,” Mom says.

  “Yes thanks.” I don’t look at the doctor. My eyes are on Brady as I take him in my arms. I kiss his red cheeks and they’re warm against my lips. I run my hand over his head and wish I could somehow suck the fever out of him.

  “How long will it last?” I ask before the doctor leaves. “And is there anything I should watch for?” I rest Brady on my chest, rubbing his back and kissing the crown of his head.

  “It should only last a couple of days. I gave your mom a prescription for the rash. If it doesn’t start to improve within a week let me know. Other than that you have nothing to worry about.”

  Mom holds up the prescription. “I’ll drop it off on way home.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I say, rocking on one foot to the other.

  She puts her arm around me and pulls me to her side. “Let’s go home.”

  “Please.”

  Mom already had the car seat in her car so she takes mine while I stay with Brady. It’s hard to let go of him. He’s sick and I wasn’t able to be there for him until the very end. The guilt eats at me, but after kissing him and making sure he’s secure in the car seat I reluctantly head to the driver’s seat.

  Shit, I drove Luke to work. I hope he was able to get a ride home. How am I going to explain this to him tomorrow? At least I have all night to come up with some sort of explanation.

  I pull into the driveway and Brady’s passed out cold, his chunky monkey cheeks red from the fever. I unbuckle him and once he’s cradled comfortably against my shoulder a calm rushes over me. He’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.

  I hold him for far too long and finally, when my arms go numb from the weight, I gently place him in his crib. Surrounded by Cookie Monster, Bert, and Ernie, he looks so peaceful.

  Afraid to leave him, I sit in the rocker and watch him sleep.

  “You okay?” Mom asks from the doorway.

  “A little freaked out.”

  “You have nothing to be freaked out about. Normally I wouldn’t have brought him in but when I saw the rash I figured better safe than sorry. But like the doctor said they are unrelated. He’s fine.”

  “Still I can’t believe I wasn’t here. I swore to myself when I decided to go through with the pregnancy that I wouldn’t let him down.”

  “You didn’t let him down.”

  “I did,” I say, trying to keep my voice from rising. “I wasn’t here.”

  “You can’t be with him twenty-four hours a day. I wasn’t with you all day every day. I swear if I was I’d probably be bald from ripping my hair out of my head.”

  I roll my eyes. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “I’m serious. You need to continue to live your life, so you can continue to be the best you for Brady. You were exactly where you were supposed to be today.”

  Tears build in my eyes and I shake my head. Brady was sick and where was I? I was off at work flirting with a guy. Mom kneels down in front of me, taking my hand in hers. “When you decided to have Brady, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would do my best to help you and to make sure you don’t miss out on all life’s experiences. So yes. You were exactly where you were supposed to be today. And I couldn’t be more proud.”

  “What is there to be proud of?” I’m a mess. I act like I have it all together when in reality I’m hanging on by the tiniest of threads. I’m stringing Luke along and I want to tell him the truth, but honestly, I’m terrified he’ll take off just like every other guy in my life.

  “Are you kidding me?” Mom says. “Hailey, you’re balancing school, work, and a baby. You could have dropped out. You could have used Brady as a crutch to let go of any ambition, but instead you use him as the flame that keeps you going. Some days are harder than others, and nobody is perfect. But you’re doing a damn good job and I’m so proud of you. You hear me?”

  I nod. “I do.” And once I open my mouth, the tears pour out. Mom takes me in her arms and comforts me in a way only she can. I clutch her close and let all the emotions flow out of me.

  She pulls back and wipes the tears from my cheeks. “No more tears,” she says. “No more tears. Come on. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

  I walk over to Brady’s crib and look down at his cute little face. The redness in his cheeks has faded to a soft pink and I reach in, running my fingers along his hairline.

  “Sleep easy, my chunky monkey.”

  I switch his light off and join Mom in the kitchen. She has the water boiling for hot chocolate. Seriously what would I do without her? I’m about to sit at the table when there’s a very faint knock at the door.

  “Who could that be?” Mom asks, turning from the stove.

  “I’ll get it.”

  I open the door to find the one person I least expected. “Luke, what are you doing here?” I ask, suddenly aware of how close in proximity he is to Brady. I close the door slightly, resting it on my back, hoping it is enough to obscure his view of the house.

  “You ran out of work so fast, and you looked upset, and then Cecilia told me you had a family emergency. I was worried. Wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you okay?” Of course he wants to know if I’m okay. I ran out of Gimbel’s like a crazy person. I didn’t even give him an explanation. I thought I’d have till tomorrow to come up with something. Now the pressure’s on. The guilt and shame overtake my thoughts, knowing I’m about to lie.

  “I am now.” Gently and quietly, I close the door. I don’t want to wake Brady. The front step never seemed so small, but now that I’m standing here with Luke it seems tiny. I can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

  “So what happened?”

  I’m still unsure of what I’m going to say, so to buy myself time I walk away from him and head toward Mom’s garden. It’s not as amazing as our garden at our old house, but Mom didn’t work as many crazy hours then. The only free time she has she’s stuck watching Brady for me while I’m at school and work.

  Luke sits down beside me. He keeps just enough distance to make me feel at ease. I want to tell him everything. Confess about being a mom. Introduce him to Brady. Stop prolonging the truth that’s bound to come out. I’m just so scared he’ll bolt. I haven’t felt this way about anybody before. It’s more than butterflies in the stomach when I see him, more than a fluttering heart. He’s easy to talk to, he listens and he makes me laugh, a lot. If I only met him two years ago, everything would be perfect and I wouldn’t be so hesitant to let him in. I’d have nothing to hide. Oh my God
what kind of mother am I? If I met Luke two years ago, I wouldn’t have Brady.

  “So are you okay? You looked like you were going to fall apart at work. I would’ve driven you, you know? But you took off so fast I didn’t even have time to offer.”

  That never even crossed my mind. I probably shouldn’t have driven. I was a nervous wreck.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I completely forgot I was your ride. How’d you get home?”

  “Cecilia gave me a ride.”

  “Oh good.”

  He moves a little closer and rests his hand on top of mine. I thought the distance was keeping me at ease, but the closer he gets the better I feel. “Can I ask what happened?”

  “My um…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “My brother had a super high fever.” And the lying begins. I try to push the guilt away, but it tugs at my heart and soul, reminding me I’m better than this.

  “So you had to go home?” Luke asks. I can detect confusion in his tone.

  “My mom took him to the hospital. She was a bit of a mess and he’s my baby. Brother.” I blurt out. “He’s my baby brother.” I can’t believe I almost let that slip. This is harder than I ever thought. “I had to go to the hospital,” I finally say.

  “I get it,” he says. “CJ and his little brother, Mikey, are really close. If something happened to him, CJ would be a total mess. Heck, I’d be a total mess.”

  “You like kids?”

  “I don’t know about all kids, but Mikey’s cool. We play video games together and I always let him win.” He laughs. “Okay most of the time he kicks my ass, but every now and again I do let him win. He deserves to feel like he’s the best, you know?”

  The way he talks of him melts my insides. He likes kids. I never would’ve thought. If he could be so sweet to CJ’s little brother I wonder how he would be with Brady. I’m sure Brady would love him.

  “It’s sweet. That you play with him.”

  “He’s a lot of fun. Sometimes more so than CJ.” A laugh escapes me as I look up at him. “Besides, he’s starting to make me feel incompetent so I need to try to get my confidence back.”

  “Oh stop,” I say, pushing on his shoulder like I always do when we’re joking around, but this time is different. His blue eyes stare back at me, and even in the dark I can make out the gold ring. My heart races and the butterflies pick up speed in my stomach. He leans towards me slowly. Almost too slowly. He’s giving me too much time to think about stopping him, and as I start to rationalize in my head all the reasons I should run, his lips press sweetly against mine.