“Do you love her?”
Instead of meeting his father’s eyes, he headed for the bedroom and secured the storage hatches around the ceiling. The answer to that question was the reason he’d chosen the road. Loving a place meant losing it to a storm. Loving someone the way he did Sidney meant losing her forever. Just like his mother.
“I want to head out early tomorrow before the traffic gets heavy,” Joshua said.
His dad pushed himself off the bench. The whole trailer wobbled with his movement. “Your mom didn’t die because we loved her. You can hook this trailer up and drag it all over the country, but you can’t escape that fact.”
He headed for the door, and Joshua hoped he was going to leave it. Joshua could keep the barriers up if his dad stopped chipping away at them. He moved to the bathroom to make sure the cabinets and drawers were secured for travel.
“I only had your mother for a few years, but she was worth the risk. Sidney is too.” His dad stepped out the door. The trailer rocked like a top-heavy canoe.
Joshua stood with his hand on the last latch long after his dad had returned to the house for his baseball game.
His heart whispered his dad was right. Running wasn’t the logical thing to do. Logical was calling Sidney and talking with her, finding out if they could be on the same page, but his heart screamed to hit the road, leave this risk behind. No matter what his dad said, being crushed once was enough.
He’d driven the truck out of town as the first streaks of sun broke the sky. Turning back had tempted him at every corner, but the memory of Sidney’s face as she ran out of the house kept him heading south. Maybe when the pain faded, he could return to Pine Bottom and attempt life in a permanent residence again.
Around noon, Joshua’d parked the trailer at a greasy spoon. As he’d settled into the booth, he used his phone to check his email. He didn’t want to admit he hoped for a message from Sidney asking him not to go or wishing he’d come back. That had made sense in whatever logic was left in his brain.
Nathan’s voice jerked him back to the present. “Who do you want me to send to take over? We’ll need you back at headquarters if this turns into a late season outbreak. Weather reports aren’t good.”
The relief center was still getting established here. The first aid tent was up, and the truck of cots had arrived. They needed volunteers to set those up. Then the computer network needed to be arranged, so they could help people file insurance claims, etc. Search and rescue hadn’t even completed going through all the destroyed buildings to account for everyone. It’d be another day or two before everything ran smoothly. “There’s a lot here that still needs to be taken care of.”
“So who do you want?” Nathan’s voice crackled over the phone. “I’ll send whoever you ask for. Melody’s on her way. You’ve trained her well. She could handle things. We need you here.”
“I’m already here and have made the necessary contacts with the local officials. I’ll stay on and see this through.”
“Joshua, we need you at headquarters. With Dolores retired, there’s no one to coordinate from this end.” Nathan’s impatience was palpable. “No one to make sure we have the supplies to send or that the trucks are loaded properly.”
Going to headquarters meant baring his heart to Sidney again. He couldn’t live in Pine Bottom without running into her. With the wounds of their previous encounter still raw, he couldn’t attempt another round.
“We’ll see how things look when Melody gets here,” he hedged.
“Joshua, you accepted this job. We need you to do it.” Then Nathan paused. When he spoke again, his voice had a softer tone. “Is everything okay? Is your dad all right? This isn’t like you.”
“Dad’s fine. Doing well actually. I needed to get out of Pine Bottom for a few days.”
What else could he say? He’d never been a chicken. He always had control of his situation. Until Sidney. Now he didn’t know which way was up.
Joshua pressed his fingers to his forehead as a family of four stumbled through the entrance of the gym. The children clutched backpacks stuffed with clothes and teddy bears. The parents clung to their kids’ shoulders like they would never let go. Everyone’s faces had the wide-eyed look of those who had witnessed more than their brains could comprehend. Most likely everything the family could salvage was stuffed into those two tiny backpacks.
“Look, I’ve got to go. Some new people walked in. I’ll call you back later.” He hung up the phone before Nathan had a chance to reply. His heart troubles could wait. Time healed all wounds, right? The platitude was a measly salve, but work would distract him. This family needed a place to rest their bones, and that was a problem he could solve.
Chapter Twenty-four
Something better for her, ha. That’s what everyone said about her breakup. There’s a plan. It will all work out. Despite being relieved the relationship had ended, she still felt fragile and lopsided, uncertain how to approach the rest of her life, especially since Joshua had left town. Should she hunker down for a few weeks or months, even a year, waiting for him to come back? Should she spend time evaluating what went wrong and make a checklist of characteristics that must be met before she dated someone else? Or should she simply enjoy the freedom of where the current took her?
The second option sounded like a lot less pressure, but that probably meant it was the wrong choice. She could get swept away from her goals too easily. Hadn’t she learned her lesson with Colin?
Sidney looked up from her sewing machine. The couple standing at her reception desk was definitely the opposite direction. Missy and Colin. What were they doing here together — already?
They weren’t going to recruit her for Rough Diamond, were they? Her position on that whole load was pretty clear.
The only thing worse would be if Joshua and Penny showed up too. Arch-enemy, ex-fiancé, new crush, and town busybody to observe the train wreck. The room couldn’t get any more crowded than that.
She plastered a smile on her face as if confronting her two worst enemies barely fazed her. Missy may have apologized, but that didn’t make them anything close to friends. Who knows what information Missy was feeding Colin. “How can I help you?”
Missy poked Colin in the arm. He slid a dirty look at her, then reached to his shirt pocket. She shot a nastier one back. Sidney wouldn’t venture a dollar against the fortitude of their relationship. He inched a piece of paper out and unfolded it. Sidney recognized the security paper as he flattened it on the counter.
“This is the return from the investment a couple weeks ago.”
Sidney pushed a strand of hair away from her face. She didn’t want to look at the check. She didn’t care. “So?”
She wanted to put all the business with these two behind her, close the door on them, and throw the key in the middle of the lake.
“Since it was your money that helped me—” He checked with Missy. “Well, helped us get to the next level. See, Missy and I have been tag-teaming on recruiting new people.”
A few weeks ago, the news Colin and Missy were working together would have stung. She and Colin would have had words. But today it was like a mosquito buzzing in her ear while she tried to sleep. Annoying, but not worth getting out of bed for. She wanted to pull the sheet over her head to block them out and return to her musings. She resisted the urge to swat them away. She had work to do.
“I don’t want it.”
Colin’s eyes widened like she had requested to be injected with the plague. He picked up the check and shoved it toward her face. “Did you even look at how much money this is?”
She slapped his hand and the check onto the counter. “It’s not about the money.”
“I told you,” Missy hissed, her eyes burning a message into his brain.
Colin shook her off. He waved the check. “This is a lot of money for a little investment and a little schmoozing. I don’t see why you don’t understand. You could have so much better than this.” He swirled his
hand to take in her whole shop. Missy cast a disparaging eye at the paisley curtain in front of the changing room. Sidney made a show of checking her watch.
“The question is, Colin, was it worth it to you? No amount of money is worth the trust lost between us. But in truth, I’m glad I learned that lesson before it was too late.”
Missy slipped her arm through Colin’s. She leaned into Colin and stage whispered in his ear. Sidney knew she intended for her to hear every word. “I told you. She thinks she’s too good for you. And all she has is this frumpy little shop. We’ll show her.”
Confusion cluttered Colin’s face. Sidney pictured Missy as the devil on his shoulder convincing him of things he knew weren’t true. She could tell part of him believed them, but a deeper part struggled against the insinuations.
“About the race on Labor Day weekend,” he said, keeping his eyes on the vice grip Missy had on his arm. “Here’s the deal—”
Missy pinched his arm, and Colin’s gaze jerked toward her. “We want you to stay out of the last race.” He slid the check back across the counter to her.
“What do you mean? Withdraw?” There were strings attached to this check. No surprise there.
“We hear you don’t have a partner.”
We hear? Sidney tried so hard to hold the snort in she might have ruptured her sinus cavity. Since she’d spent the majority of her time since their breakup canceling wedding plans, she hadn’t considered the canoe race and her lack of partner. Her mind ticked through possibilities. Every other one was Joshua.
“So it should be easy for you to—”
She had plenty of time to find a new partner. It didn’t concern her. It certainly wasn’t an option to— “Drop out.” Sidney finished for him.
Colin’s face broke out in a huge grin. “Then you’ll do it? I expected convincing you to be harder.”
Missy hunkered down as if she waited for the next shot across her bow.
“This check is supposed to be a bribe?” Sidney slid her hand on the counter toward it, but didn’t allow her fingers to contact the paper.
“Bribe is such an ugly word. We prefer incentive,” Missy chirped.
What was their scheme this time? Sidney didn’t have a partner now and only had a couple weeks to scrounge one up. Missy’s only chance to win was to cheat. Had she run out of nefarious plots and sunk to intimidating the competition to keep them off the lake? What did they have to worry about? Bribery was less disgusting than some of their other options. Although Sidney now wondered if she should invest in a remote car starter.
“We thought it would soothe some of the heartbreak.”
“Heartbreak? A measly check doesn’t make up for what Colin did.”
“Not about that,” Missy interrupted. “You know, the memories. We didn’t want you to feel sad about seeing Colin in my canoe. The races were a special thing for you guys.”
“But you had no problem commandeering it for your own purposes.”
“There are needs, and there are wants. We can’t always give in to our wants when our needs must be fulfilled,” Missy stated.
Sidney quirked an eyebrow at Missy’s statement. It didn’t make sense, but, luckily for her, Missy’s and Colin’s problems were not her own. “I’m not giving you an easy out to clear your conscience.”
Missy grimaced, and Colin appeared confused.
“But you don’t have a partner. Why weigh yourself down with the search? Take the money, relax, and enjoy the weekend.”
Sidney pictured Joshua strapped into that too small life vest with his muscles straining. Her cheeks grew hot. She had a partner at the top of her list. Would an apple pie be a sufficient bribe? Urgh. Now she was thinking like Colin and Missy. She had to get them out of here.
She finally took a moment to check the digits on the check while she allowed her face to cool. It was a reasonable sum for a couple hours work, but not the grand payoffs Colin had waxed on about. In fact, on a good day with the right set of alterations, she could take in more cash before noon.
“A little break, a little cash. It’s like winning the lottery.” Colin waved the check toward her as if it had an enticing scent.
If they were after the prize money—which was considerably more than this measly check—she wasn’t going to let them have it without a fight. No matter what Missy needed it for.
Sidney snatched the check out of Colin’s hand. She tore it slowly in two, relishing the ripping sound of the thick paper. “It doesn’t matter what you call it, you’ll still be finishing second.”
****
Sidney knocked on Buck’s door, awkwardly balancing the steaming casserole dish wrapped in a towel. She’d made a large pan of chicken lasagna and scooped out a couple pieces for herself, then hurried down the block to bring the rest to Buck. Joshua had left yesterday, and she couldn’t stand it any longer. She had to see Buck. She told herself it was to check on how he was recovering.
Her visit had absolutely nothing to do with finding out if he knew why Joshua left. Nothing at all, she reminded herself as she shifted her weight on the welcome mat.
Buck answered the door a moment later, and Sidney was relieved to see the rosy color in his skin and the twinkle in his eye returned. It assuaged her guilty conscience a smidge.
She held up the dish and waved it in front of his nose. “Lasagna, fresh out of the oven.”
“Smells heavenly. My taste buds are coming back, and eating is actually enjoyable again. Come on in.” He stepped away from the doorway and motioned for her to go through.
“Oh no, I’ve got some lasagna waiting for me at home. I wanted to bring this over while it was hot. Good to see you’re feeling better, but I should get home to my dinner.” What had happened to her bravado and the daring questions she planned to ask? On each step over here, she’d pounded her resolve to admit her mistake and convince Buck to tell her why Joshua had gone.
She pictured her red plate with a slice of lasagna and Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top, which she would eat all by herself at her single chair in her kitchenette or on the couch in front of whatever history documentary caught her fancy on the television. Alone.
“You’re going to make me eat this alone?” Buck pleaded. “I’m used to Joshua fumbling around in the kitchen. The house is too quiet.”
It occurred to her that a few weeks ago she had planned for her own lonely meals to end by marrying Colin. She shouldn’t marry someone for another plate at the table and less leftovers in the fridge. A slice of apple pie with Joshua had stuck a fork in that plan.
Lonely sustenance still held little appeal. She hesitated, thinking of her ulterior and non-altruistic motives, until Buck sweetened the deal. “Baseball game starts in ten minutes.”
Now that was an offer she couldn’t refuse. “I can’t pass that up.” She patted Buck on the arm and slipped around him, heading for the kitchen. She placed the lasagna on the counter and retrieved dishes from the cupboard. As she dished up the food, she remembered Joshua stumbling around here, searching for silverware and potholders. Where was he now? Off making the world a little more bearable for someone hit by tragedy? Probably. She could live with his traveling as long as he came home to her. The bungalow, her dream house, outdid her expectations with him in it.
He saved the world, while she wheedled information out of a recovering cancer patient with the temptation of food. Who came out smelling better in that comparison? She should forget her mission and enjoy her meal.
Buck leaned against the counter and out of the corner of her eye, Sidney had a bit of déjà vu. His mannerisms were so like Joshua’s, or rather, the other way around. They tugged their ears the same way. They opened the kitchen drawers the same way—with a jerk so the drawer flew to the end of its travel, and the silverware rattled. She caught the movement out of the corner of her eye, and her heart fluttered thinking it was Joshua.
The fact she didn’t know how to contact Joshua frustrated her more than she wanted to admit. They’d never need
ed to use technology to reach out to each other. When one was in need, the other was there—like their souls were connected.
If she had a cell phone number or an email, she could get in touch with him directly instead of employing all this subterfuge.
But would she really? She had too much doubt to make a call without a little bolstering from a trusted source. She’d already blown it when Joshua had reached out. She might take on the battle, but she needed a little insider information on the other team.
Maybe Buck would let enough details slip to satisfy her curiosity, and she wouldn’t have to employ any interrogation techniques. She snorted, then covered it by clearing her throat. She was downright desperate if she considered anything besides filling Buck’s tummy to loosen his tongue.
She still didn’t know if Joshua had left Pine Bottom for good. Despite what she had told Penny, the answer to that question mattered. Until she sorted everything out after Penny left last night, she hadn’t realized she was emotionally available.
She had a connection with Joshua. Colin had never had any claim on her heart, but Joshua had stolen it without her noticing.
Buck carried glasses of water while she placed the plates on the dining room table. They settled at the table in view of the television where the announcers ran through this evening’s batting lineup. She could see the TV well enough, but her interest wasn’t in the game. Buck’s attention briefly focused on the announcer’s discussion, but quickly returned to his food and his company.
Buck stabbed a bite and popped it in his mouth. “This is delicious, Sidney, as always.”
Sidney nodded, her mouth stuffed as well. “How are you doing? Were you ready for Joshua to leave?” She winced at the last question. It sounded like something Penny would ask. Her approach was direct and rude. “I mean—had the doctor approved you to be on your own?”
That wasn’t any better. Bossy, like Penny. She took a forkful of lasagna and stuffed it in her mouth without blowing on it. The heat had her gasping air. So much for finesse.
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