Mayhem: A Collection of Stories

by R Thomas Brown

  Many in the church felt as Father Howard did, and left the congregation with him. At that point in the story, Monsignor Phillips stood from his chair and paced across the room. He walked silently, staring at the pictures of Popes and Bishops that adorned his office.

  “You see, Father Daniels, Father Howard led many from the Church. They followed him, rather than Christ. I’m sure that was always his goal. Though I have tried to bring them back, they all sit separated from the Church because a priest followed his own conscience rather than the advice of the body of Christ.”

  “Father, that is a true tragedy. I can see that you’re hurt, both by the danger that these people have placed themselves in, and because the priest was under your watch. However, we can’t allow personal pain to interfere when one of God’s children is in need. When death beckons them, we must be there to hear their confession and absolve them of sin.”

  Monsignor Phillips turned to stare at Father Daniels. The anger was now in the open, and the old features that had hidden the emotion now magnified it. “Do not lecture me on the duties of a priest. I have been serving the needs of this flock longer than you have been alive.” He turned from Father Daniels. “Those people follow a man who cares nothing for the sanctity of confession and advised that young woman to seek an abortion. No matter what you think, that woman you saw did not give herself to God in your presence.”

  “Father, you may be right.”

  “I am right! They belong to him now. You can’t save them.”

  “Even so, I did her no harm in going to her. In my estimation, she saw the light in her last moments, and I granted her absolution. I understand that you may question my judgment in this matter, but I would do it again.”

  “Is that some sort of challenge, Father?”

  Father Daniels furrowed his brow at the accusation. “No, Monsignor. I am merely saying that if you have a problem with my judgment, perhaps you should request a new priest be assigned to this parish. I will understand and will not fight it, though I have grown quite attached to the community and the parishioners here.” Father Daniels waited for a response. Realizing the silence would continue, he rose from his chair and stepped toward the door.

  “Wait.”

  Father Daniels stood in place, though he did not turn to face the Monsignor.

  “I have no desire to ask for a replacement.” The Monsignor’s voice was weaker than before and Daniels could hear him move back toward his chair.

  Daniels turned back to the room and saw Monsignor Phillips in his chair, with his head hung low.

  “You have been good for the people here. I won’t work forever, and they are comfortable coming to you. I don’t wish to rob them of your presence.”

  “Thank you, Monsignor.” Father Daniels started to exit again.

  “Will you do me one favor, Father?”

  Daniels stood erect. “Of course, Monsignor. What is it you need?”

  “I need you to meet Ben Howard.”

  “Why, sir?”

  “You are a strong willed and yet open minded priest, Father Daniels. I think you’ll be able to communicate with him better than I can. Perhaps you will be able to convince him to come back to the Church. It’s unlikely but possible. You were after all, apparently able to bring one of his followers back, even if it was assisted by the specter of death.”

  “I’ll do my best, Monsignor. I shall arrange to meet with him as soon as possible.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No, thank you, Monsignor. And thank you for deciding to keep me here.”

  “Good luck, Father Daniels.”

  Father Daniels smiled and exited to the waiting area outside the office. As he began his way down the hall to his own office he heard a faint “you’ll need it” from behind.

  #

  After the short drive to the New Revelation Church, Father Daniels sat in the dark waiting room, surrounded by knotted wood walls and deep red carpet. Behind him, through a closed door, sat a receptionist who seemed very kind. Before him stood a closed door with a nameplate indicating it was Ben Howard’s office. Father Daniels sat patiently waiting to be welcomed by the religious leader who inspired such emotion from the old Monsignor.

  At the moment Father Daniels began to feel impatient, the door to Ben Howard’s office opened and a tall man with black hair and bright blue eyes that seemed translucent stepped out to welcome him. “Father Daniels?”

  Daniels nodded and stood from his chair. Standing, he could see that Ben Howard was at least half a foot taller than Father Danielseven taller than Monsignor Phillips.

  Ben Howard reached out his thick arm and beckoned Father Daniels toward him by curling his long fingers. “Please, come in. Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, thank you. I’m fine.” Father Daniels walked passed the man and into the office, passing by the sign that proclaimed the office belonged to “Father Howard.” He took a seat in a thin but comfortable chair and crossed his hands over his lap.

  “So, Father, what brings you here today?” Ben Howard took a seat in another thin chair, eschewing the larger chair behind the desk.

  “Well, Mr. Howard, I came to speak to you at the request of Monsignor Phillips.” Daniels arched his eyebrows at the ensuing laughter.

  “Has the Monsignor sent you to save me?”

  “I doubt that would be possible in a single day.” Father Daniels adjusted his position and sat forward. “However, I find it odd that you take that subject so lightly.”

  “Father Daniels, you’ll notice that I respect your office enough to call you Father, I have no desire to be saved back to the Holy Church. I’m sure the dear Monsignor told you about the circumstances surrounding my departure.”

  “He did. And I can see why you would have a crisis of faith over the circumstances.”

  “It’s far more than that, Father. I do not accept the God that allows his name to be tied to cowardice.”

  “Cowardice?”

  “Yes, Father. When a priest hides behind rules rather than take a risk to save another, it is cowardice. When priests hide behind rules because dealing with human tragedy is difficult, it is cowardice.”

  “Mr. Howard…”

  “Mister? Why do you refuse to offer me the respect I offer you?”

  “I do not feel it would be appropriate for me to refer to you with a spiritual title considering the opinion you have of God.”

  “Well then. I must say that I admire your conviction, deluded as you may be.”

  Father Daniels nodded his thanks. “As I was saying, it takes courage to remain true to your beliefs even when faced with difficult decisions. A coward does not take a stand. A coward takes the easy way out. Surely, you must understand that maintaining the sanctity of confession in the face of danger to another person, is far from easy.”

  “Perhaps cowardice is too strong a word, though I maintain that many of your brethren are cowards. Perhaps many of them are as you, simply misguided.”

  “In what way do you feel I am misguided, Mr. Howard?”

  Ben Howard stood and reached his hand down to Father Daniels. “Come. I want to show you some things.”

  Father Daniels took his hand, marveled at the warmth of it for a moment, and then rose from his chair. He followed Ben out the door and out to his car.

  “Please, hop in.”

  Father Daniels took a seat in the well-maintained, though aging, sedan. “Where are we going?”

  “I’d hate to ruin the surprise.”

  The trip down the hill, and out of town was a short one, though Father Daniels would not have believed the area he was now in was only fifteen minutes from his offices at St. Catherine. Stray dogs and worn down trailers lined the road as he and Ben Howard drove slowly. At the end of the street was a small shack. Ben stopped the car outside the shanty.

  “Come on in. I want you to meet someone.”

  Father Daniels followed Ben into the dilapidated building, and took a few moments after enteri
ng to adjust to the lack of light. Slowly, he began to see old furniture, miscellaneous carpet scraps, and the remains of a meal that seems to lack any nutritional value. In a chair in the back of the room was a woman who appeared to be in her forties, though Father Daniels imagined that the quality of her life made her look older than she was.

  “This is Denise, Father Daniels. She’s the one that fell victim to the man I didn’t stop.”

  Father Daniels was not surprised by the news, he was certain that Ben Howard who take him somewhere that would help him justify his heresy. “It is a pleasure to meet you ma’am. Though I do not know you, I am pained by what happened to you those many years ago. If ever you need to talk to someone, please feel free to see me.”

  “I don’t wanna talk to you, or any of your kind.” Denise threw a cup of sour smelling coffee at the priest. “You could have stopped it, and you didn’t.” She turned her head and rested it in Ben Howard’s side.

  Ben patted her head before facing Father Daniels. “This is why I left. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I hid behind rules instead of doing what I knew was right. How can you stand there and support a Church that allows this to happen? How can you worship a God that allows this injustice in the name of faith?”

  Father Daniels looked at the sobbing woman. “Mr. Howard, perhaps we should continue our discussion outside. Discussing these events is obviously upsetting this poor woman. I think she has lived that nightmare enough times.” He waited for an agreeing nod and left the small home.

  “Well, Father. Now do you understand why I feel as I do?”

  “Of course, I understand. However, I could not disagree with you more.”

  “What?” Ben Howard looked to the sky and clinched his fists. “What would you have done in that situation?”

  “The question is more complex than actions.” Father Daniels began to walk along the side of the street, and Ben Howard followed. “First, I accept that the wisdom of man, any man, pales compared to the perfect wisdom of God. Good people suffer in this world, and bad people flourish. It is not how I would have things, but I am not God. His plans are beyond my understanding. I simply have faith that all things work to the benefit of those that love the Lord.”

  Ben Howard laughed. “Another cowardly way to hide behind lofty ideals while real people suffer.”

  “As I said, it is not cowardice to maintain your principles in the face of a challenge. After the confessional, did you seek out the man who would commit the act?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You could have approached him and counseled him without betraying the sanctity of the confession. You could have pursued that, even if the sinner did not seek salvation.”

  Ben Howard turned away. “There was not enough time for that. I should have warned Denise.”

  “Even if there was not enough time, you could not have warned her. Horrible things happen, and the burden on a confessor is difficult to bear at times. It is part of our cross. Being there for her afterward is what would be required, both by your conscience and by your charge to help the needy.”

  “I did help her.” Ben stepped in front of Father Daniels, blocking the path.

  “Telling her you knew did not help that woman, it only made her hate.” Father Daniels looked into Ben Howard’s eyes and could see that he was referring to something else. “Or, do you mean the abortion you counseled her to pursue?”

  “That’s right. It was what was best for her.”

  “I accept that you believe that, Mr. Howard. However, I can’t accept that you are right. The ending of a life does not assist the quality of another life.”

  “I see. So you would have me counsel girls like Denise to accept a pregnancy from such a violent act? Counsel them to accept the interference in their lives because of one man’s hate, and my cowardice?”

  “All life is precious, Mr. Howard. Again, what happened to Denise, and others who must endure that horrible invasion of their lives, is a tragedy. However, the unborn child bears no guilt of that act.”

  Ben clinched his fists and grunted. “That’s easy to say when you’re not the one carrying around a constant reminder of what happened.”

  Father Daniels could feel the frustration of the large man and he reached out to take his hand. “Is it inconceivable, that the birth of the child, the innocent child, might ease the pain of the event. The memories can’t be removed, but perhaps thoughts of the child could help the healing.”

  “That’s awfully wishful thinking, Father.”

  “I have seen miracles much more farfetched in my time, Mr. Howard. Besides, even if the mother could not accept the child, is adoption by a family that longs for a child not a better end for the innocent?” He waited for a response, but he could see that his words were not taking root. “I understand that you believe you are right, and that I am deluded. Perhaps we can continue our conversation again some time.”

  “You are a strong man, Father Daniels. A man of true faith. Though I think you are misguided, and will never believe otherwise, I have found our time together stimulating and enjoyable. Perhaps we will speak again. For now, we should go.”

  “Very well. I too have enjoyed our talk.”

  “You have? That seems odd. I must admit that I am slightly embarrassed by some of my more confrontational comments.”

  “All men face confrontation, Mr. Howard. Denise was a test for you. It seems you are a test for the Monsignor. These tests help us distill our beliefs.”

  “And you, Father. Has your faith been tested?”

  “Faith is tested everyday, but nothing has yet shaken my faith.”

  “Somehow I think that your faith would survive any test, especially if it could survive a day wit me as intact as it has.” Ben laughed. “Come, Father, we really should go.”

  Father Daniels agreed, and they returned to the car. The short drive seemed even shorter during the return, as the sights were familiar and Father Daniels did not take the time to notice them. As they wove through town, he thought about the meeting that would come with the Monsignor. Surely, he would want to know what was said, and he would probably feel that Daniels was a fool for wanting to see Ben again. Father Daniels was not sure how he would explain his desire to see the heretic again, he certainly had made no headway, but something told him that there was more to Ben Howard than a priest who had lost his way.

  Upon arriving at Ben Howard’s church, Father Daniels stepped out of the car and prepared to bid adieu and return to St. Catherine. “I’ll be seeing you again Mr. Howard, soon.”

  “I do hope you try to bring the Monsignor with you next time.”

  “Perhaps, though he does not seem to have much room for you.”

  “Well, maybe there is something we could do about that.”

  Father Daniels stood from the car, thinking about how he could bring Monsignor Phillips to see this man. As he stood, he heard a moan and a dull thud. He stepped around and saw something that changed his plans. At his feet, Ben Howard lie on the ground with a knife plunged into his chest.

  “What have you done?” Father Daniels knelt beside the wounded man.

  “What I had to, Father. You’ll understand later.” He coughed, and spurts of blood came out with the hot breath.

  After running inside to call an ambulance, Father Daniels returned. “I’m going to administer Last Rites. I’m not sure if you’ll live.”

  “Last Rites? For me? Oh, Father, you are truly a man of faith. However, I must decline.”

  “What? You would rather die out of the presence of God?”

  “If anyone is to administer Last Rites to me, I want it to be the Monsignor. I hope you understand.”

  “I don’t. But I will honor your wishes. I’ll have him meet you at the hospital.”

  “Thank you, Father.”

  Speeding through town, Father Daniels prepared himself to make the request. He raced through the narrow streets, breaking the speed laws, but feeling his charge was more important. W
hen he arrived at St. Catherine, he leapt from the car without bothering to shut the door. He ran into the Monsignor’s office, not caring if he was busy. “We have to hurry.”

  “Settle down, Father. What happened?”

  “It’s Ben Howard. He’s injured and he needs Last Rites.”

  “What? That heretic? You must be joking.”

  “I most certainly am not, Monsignor. No man deserves to die without the presence of God. No matter his sins, his life is in danger.”

  “I will not go, Father.”

  “What? How can you refuse?”

  “I will not explain myself to you.”

  “Fine. Though he requested you, I will go instead.” He turned to go back to his car.

  “I’m afraid I can’t allow that either.”

  Father Howard turned. “Monsignor, we must. It is our duty.”

  “One such as Ben Howard does not deserve absolution.”

  “That is not for you to decide, Monsignor.”

  “I have told you now to lecture me on duty, Father. I will not go.” He took the keys from Father Daniels hands. “And you will not go either.”

  Lunging for the keys, Father Daniels tripped and fell into the side of a table.

  #

  When he awoke, he did not recall what had happened. The pain in his head, and the feel of the bump reminded him. Panicked about Ben, he rose to his feet and checked his watch. He had been on the floor for hours. If Ben were critically wounded, he would be gone now. He struggled to a phone and called the New Revelation Church. He was informed that Ben Howard had died.

  He had little personal connection to the man. He found him interesting, but he did not feel the loss like that of a friend. The pain Father Daniels felt was as much of disillusionment as of loss. The Monsignor had neglected the plea of a dying man, and had kept Father Daniels from doing his duty. All for the apparent motive of revenge. He held his head for a few moments while he regained his balance, and then made his way to his room for some rest. He would confront the Monsignor in the morning.